moinsquerien

[moinsquerien]

i wish someone would see that all i consume is sadness. i wish theyd see how terrible it is to be in my iwn mind. i hope that when i die, i could take all of this sadness so noone would feel how much i want to be dead

[moinsquerien]

i am nothing

[moinsquerien]

i need help but noone is here

[moinsquerien]

[moinsquerien]

[moinsquerien]

please tell me this ends

[moinsquerien]

why is the only time i feel alive is when im drunk

[moinsquerien]

"i have to fix this before i go"

"then i'll keep it broken so you have to stay"

[moinsquerien]

i need to find a way to be ok with living in this moment

[moinsquerien]

does anyone believe in me anymore

[moinsquerien]

i hope when i find the courage, i will finally sleep peacefully while hanging from the ceiling and grow my wings

[moinsquerien]

i do not want you to leave me. i ask myself everyday how could you get up and take all of the beautiful memories we've made together. to have easily forgotten eveything we've done these last three years we have spent together.

i want you to stay and lay on your couch in the middle of the afternoon on a tuesday laughing about absolutely nothing. i want to take a walk with you while the sun sets over the water and skyscrapers surrounding your house and the sky turns into a beautiful orange just like your hair did. i want to hug you tighter than how my chest feels now that your gone. every day that goes by feels like im fading away, back into the nothingness i was before you came into my life.

how do you heal this pain? a pain so much deeper than unrequited love? as if ive lost a piece of my soul, a piece of myself that you are embroidered so deeply into that i can feel each thread unraveling that my entire being feels like its slowly falling apart.

if i could ask god, who has mercilessly failed us both, for a single thing in my entire life and future existence, would be to please bring you back to me. i would tell you that i have been waiting for you in every single one of my lives on all planes of every universe. that i would sacrifice everything i have and more to tell you that you are the only thing that could ever shake me out of whatever world i have been living in since theyve left. to yell and cry about how much ive missed you with every bone in my body but even god knows that i don't deserve that much mercy from him or most importantly, you.

until then, know that i will wait for you

until time stands still

until all life ceases to exist

for forever and a year

#best friends #best friend breakup

[moinsquerien]

if i left this world would anyone even notice

[moinsquerien]

i wish i had gone somewhete so different in my life

[moinsquerien]

where has my life taken me

[moinsquerien]

i love the great gatsby. i love it so much because in the beginning i felt like there was so much love that i could never comprehend. the more i watched the movie i realized that there was so much that i would never understand. ive felt the way daisy has, the way she couldnt figure out who was the one for her. the way she coudlnt figure out what she wanted, despite how much she had. the way that there was immense love in front of her own eyes yet she couldnt choose despite it all.

love is so difficult to gauge no matter how strong it feels.

[moinsquerien]