mommin-itup-blog

[mommin-itup-blog]

My pregnancy losses

With my first loss I was 20. I was 10 weeks PP after having Sophia. I again did not know I was pregnant. I felt a gush a fluid in my pants so I went to the bathroom thinking my period was about to start. When I wiped a about 5 week fetus was on the toilet paper. I screamed in horror and began crying and called my husband who was out with friends. He came home and agreed with me what had happened. I was so crushed and upset especially now that I had a living baby I knew exactly what I was missing out on. I would have a two year old today along with my three year old.

My second one was a chemical pregnancy this year actually age 23. I had been TTC for 5 months when I finally got a faint positive. I was over the moon. But shortly after the test that same day I got cramps and bleeding. It was extremely heavy so I knew it was over. I didn’t bother to see a doctor because I knew what had happened. I was only 4 weeks along. When I tested again it was negative. I would have been 20ish weeks right now.

Because of my history with pregnancy loss I want to see a doctor. I may not get any answers about my losses but hopefully answers about something. Something does feel wrong and off. Maybe I’ve lost confidence in myself and that’s why I’m feeling but it doesn’t hurt to check I don’t think.

#miscarriage #loss #pregnancy loss #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcjourney

[mommin-itup-blog]

Seeing a doctor

As some of you know I’ve been trying for about 10 months for a second child. With my first it took 1 month. While the pregnancy wasn’t flawless it was nice to get pregnant so quick. I didn’t worry or wonder if something was wrong with me. I didn’t go over and over in my head “Is this a sign I should not have more kids?” I just got pregnant and was happy about it.

Lately the idea and talk of going to see a doctor has come up. My husband and I go back and forth on the idea because frankly we don’t want help, we want to be able to do things on our own. Plus it costs money to see a doctor and that’s a scary thought of spending so much on labs and treatments. It worries me. But the thing is idk if seeing a doctor will make me feel better or worst about the process.

These thoughts just spin in my head all day and night. What should I do? What will make things faster and easier? What will make me happy? I just don’t know. I feel kinda helpless at this point.

Coming soon: Birth story of my daughter.

#ttc #ttc baby 2 #ttcjourney #ttccommunity #ttc rainbow baby