mondaygrapez

[mondaygrapez]

Poem titled “Pen on/ Pen off”

you check for us

and we

we tell you we are here

you check for me and i tell you

yes i am here i em here.

you in your outfit so green

me in mine black;

we both here

i never check for you or any of green

you but i do think of you out of here

we’re both here

we tell each other

[mondaygrapez]

a poem titled “vanta black”

oh how you consume.

[mondaygrapez]

Poem titled “Brian, return to customer service”

he beat my heart with a 

meat tenderizer

put it in his mouth for a 

taste

spit it into her hand

threw it out

[mondaygrapez]

Poem Untitled

Once you leave

you left.

[mondaygrapez]

Poem Untitled

and i would’ve gotten hit by a star

and my knees would’ve relaxed relaxed

eeye woudl’ve said thank you thank you

eeye can’t keep up with Palestine or Jerusalem

& the sound

      of their own town bleeps me to

      say sorry. a sorry sorry sory

      to red gold and greeen.

[mondaygrapez]

Poem #WOODENHAND

the rainbow split but it was only two

colors

white and gooey white.

the rianbow split but and but and and

then the rain splat.

i saw the leprechaun inside my mind

they said hi

you have the gold.

take the gold, see one with the gold,

become Midas for your

mind is Midas

[mondaygrapez]

Poem Untitled

General rules 

exist but resist

[mondaygrapez]

My Experiences Within the Prison Complex that is the Mental Institution; A Novel

Abstract: Northwell May-June 2019

“Quality time to find out about each other,” the tv chimed in.

It’s day 3 and I broke my forearm on my right side on Day 1 by trying to break in to the corvette headquarters. Rather, trying to break into the head nurse headquarters. There’s a pungentte smell to the air; it’s one of feces marinating in piss, the smell if grand. 

Missed my best friend foreverest’s graduation party to be here. I was the chicken and I crossed the road the day before *the night before DAy 0. “ are you feeliing suicidal?”, I answer “no.” A light goes on in a room not mine. We’ve been here before.

Sitting precariously atop the heater’s case, I am hollered at, “Miss, be careful.” The corvettes aren’t red with flame designs tonight. Tonight I simply remember, I was the chick, I crossed the road, I lucked out at the busy 6 lane. The pomeranian that is god dog hands me a lollipop they’ve unwrapped for me. My flavor is yellow and it’s not bigger than a dime size.

Dragging one bended knee after the other, I let the knotted talisman hit one side of my back then the other. I owe the Big Guy for this one. “1 o’clock, 2 o’clock, 3 o’clock. Rock” How could I repay the favor. How not what I’m getting at, she’s only the sweetest like like like most of the time. “It’s a pregnancy test.” I declined the third blood test for the first time after two days of blood testing.

It’s day 3 and I miss the ant I found on my hand four days ago. I ruined my sisters night by staying out to party, again. The air stinks. Someone, who resembles the Lynch killer in T Peaks, laughed but I didn’t. My boo doesn’t pick up 8/10 of my calls. I’m starting to feel it strongly indicative of how things are going with them; I should never call again; I may never call again.

It’s all boring but something’s got to do when the t.v. won’t. It’s Day 4 now. I’m a shower. And eat vegan breakfast and lunch on a tray plus call bae. I put on a big orange wig and plastered a smile on me face; therapist say we all have problems. Nutritionist on tv says eraserheads are good for you. I eat one an hour. 

I used to hijack For V8s at the Shanghai headquarters; I tooke a shower. BLew dry my hair and my childs hair. Went grocery shopping bought the three types of wine my wife likes. Opened the tissue box. We all have problems she said. It’s true I know. I tried to relax but my eye just twitched and the inside of my ear tickled. But it was a weird ear there an earring which read “ dc, nvr cared.” From the key chain rack I pick up the keys to corvette I’m going to hijack.

“Hi, I’d like to order,” I begin, “yes, one cheeseburger with bacon, Large order of fries and a Largge fountain soda.” It’s the end of Day 4 and I drank the whole soda after scarfing the fasty foody. It’s the Dawn of Day 5 and my pencil’s not more sharpened. It doesn’t write anymore. From the led container bleeds soggy confetti; a poor excuse for what once was a fine working pencil (Dixon Ticonderoga).

I didn’t eat vegan breakfast: I indulged in the pleasures of a scrambled eggs, sausage (2). It went well with the vegan staples of potatoes with french toast buttered of syrupped or pancaked. The orange juice wash did fine fine too. I wasn’t alone for it, roomate Onfire was in company. So was another but regrettably I no longer remember exactly whom.

Day 5 goes and it’s infinite as this bell toll; just a small town gyal living with a tummy ache. Day 5 goes. I ate half. Wrote a nurse a poem: 

“carribean baby blue” 

you check for us 

we botff here an we tell each other

we are

boff

heree.

I didn’t used to understand what was going on here. And I don’t care.

Music Note: it be hard for me to pick a thot: Music Note. Halioperdd. Ativan. Beny. 300 a week divided by 7. Approximateley 10 a day is 70 which is one fourth about what is really needed. 35 a day times 7 is 

35 x 7 = 245. 

Forty a day times 7: 40 x 7=280. 

5ifty a day is 50 x7= 350. Circle that.

Fifty a day. And all the small things; you can be leather or cashmere but not linen. You’re a cooler or a Fridge. A trunk organizer a milk crate.

Sex doesn’t make you more someones.

Day 6 began. “that’s the worst part” I canceled. I’ve been here for days; was transfered out of the Lo unit to here. It’s Day 6 and my menstrual is days in. I took a nap and the day was.

It’s Day 7 and I only been listening to the redio. The same 3 songs played. Deelite plays. Many sleep. i’m sleepy. i’m okay. i’m softly incarcerated. bulrgh. took adderax for the first time. Working on a bag of chips and mixed fruit cup. i took the adderax and he said i’d be sleepy now. i em sleepy. i slept. i rose. i go watch movie and be angel. i slept more. i listen to tunes overhead.

Day 8 grabbed Mackned’s butt in my dream.woke up to a back turned. Noticed Patient Bill of Rights #3 was violated by the Unit I was transferred from; The old unit smelled of filth. Bryson on redio. New room-mate she is nice. I had desert. I see clearly. It is bright. the colors. the words. “I get goosebumps when I look at it.” It’s never ok to just do w/o thinking.. He looked &. He said goosebumps. I said you wanna fanta?

Day 9 is about now. I’d like to   say that Rest in Peace to all the souls and bodies harmed. Especially by those harmed by T.B.. I find the acts atrocious despite my having made light of them. It’s Day 9 and I’m still awake from Day 8 of hitting a nerve. Day 9 is bad but not the worst. no sleep; red some of All I want is Everything by Cecily von Ziegesar. I’ma have  some lunch. I had a donut. I’m going to sleep.

Day 10. “ sorry I ain’t got no money I’m not trying to be funny  I left it at home today.” Today is desperate; someone wants to be transferred to a rehab facility because they don’t have the strings for their Judaism. It’s Day 10 and I’m reading books I started reading days ago. It’s remarkable how in 10 days you get along and do’t get along with people. Decided on making a phone call next week.

Day 11: it’s almost over. I’m on my 5th room-mate. Lunch was a burger I forgot about my special order vegan burger. “i’m loosing my mind just a little, why don’t you just meet me in the middle.”

Day 12: “ everywhere you go: i’ll follow you down. I’ll follow you down but not that far” the music got old and so did my problems. My so minute problems. “oh baby, you’re driving me crazy, ertime I look around” Some one said I’m quiet the other day.

Day 13: “girl i be shaking  i love it when you go crazy.” The playlist here is wild. Got implied at that I ought be more social. I D K. 

i tried and socialize. so it went. All in all  I’ve been in this unit 10 days or so. Remembering currently how at one point in 2002 I hadn’t an idea what the anarchy symbol meant. My leg shakes sometimes, my left leg. I’m in the present. I feel my inches of hair. I have my book open. M, L, C, M. a white thread knotted falls on my left leg.

Day 14. never was the type to something. i used to always watch a movie through. I may be leaving tomorrow. At most, the day after. I’m throwing a birthday party for myself. I’m inviting everyone I wanna invite. Which is a handful. I’m leaving tomorrow or Wednesday. My party will be a picnic. God let me see them; girls girls girls. What does sheepishly mean. It’s minutes before Day 15 and the eight dots above the water fountain tap are. They vary in shades from blue to red. At either end they’re large buttons. One for more cold one for more heat. A center button for water.

Day 15. what does harried mean. It’s early today but no one but the new guy is up. . what does augur mean. Found out in Sherry Teurkle’s Alone Together that Milo is a robot. What is the Rip Van Winkle it’s mentioned in Caitling Macy’s novel. Put Babe the movie on. Walked on the beach away from it. I’m filling out what must be my 8th “Inpatient Behavioral Health Satisfaction Survey.” I’m excited to leave. I plan on foreal never coming back: it’s mot enough fun. Had a memory of getting in here. I arrived, at first, on a stretcher. I;m leaving with my mom picking me up. I passed gas in front of a MHW who is fond of me. Woops.

Day 16. today the hospital cord is cut. :hiccup: IDEA: make diptych toys. Watch Toy Story this morning. Stealing a book & admitting it. Book: How 2 hold a Garagge Sale not How to Hold A Grudge Forever. 

[mondaygrapez]

Inquiring Parties

“It’s a beautiful day” replied the leuthe young caucasian in the Coheed and Cambrai t-shirt of the color black and faded. “It was nice talking to you,” he exited the smoking section to return back indoors; Out came Jessica for a smoke in his place. Jessica is a transexual female. She is dark skint, has loose a tank top with bright colors, it’s a hot day. After inquiring she reveals that she does’nt feel safe; It’s not an ideal living situation for the environment does not yield so more. It’s too many people she confesses and that’s a problem. We discuss that maybe there’s a lack of a formal Protection Service and she agrees.

Just before Coheed and Cambria had revealed: theres’s 50 people. 11 on each floor. His pants are tan, his demeanor was not loose enough to hold a further conversation. 

It was a nice day in the neighborhood outside of the local hotel turned homeless shelter.