I've developed a sort of paranoid guilt that because I've posted almost all of the art I've made since like 2015 that It's turned me into that straw man artist trope of only making things for attention which has been exacerbated 10x by the fact I've only drawn commissions for the past ~years because I simply do not have it in me. it's turned into a violent cycle of needing to actively make art so I get comms to have money and not making anything because of financial stress which means I have no art to show that I'm worth commissioning. I think I need to be euthanized like a dog.
dm'ing a mutual you've never interacted with one-on-one is so embarrassing like. hi.... im sorry. you can kill me if you want... can i have your discord..... if not.. feel free to shoot me down where i stand... im sorry.. i'll leave..