mortemoppetere

[mortemoppetere]

#( a river of stones // inspiration ) #( anybody want a drink? // memes ) #everyone @ milio

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I tried my best to keep my word. Cliodhna got to me, not the others. But Wynne is struggling to keep it together, and so is Nora. They will need you when we get back, and we will get back. [User is growing tired again and decides fuck it, and presses send]

[user stares at this message for a long time. he tries to feel angry -- he thinks he'd feel better if he were angry. he thinks if he could blame elias a little, even if it's not elias's fault, it would feel a little less like the world was ending. anger is familiar. anger is a cup of water in the desert, or a blanket in a snowstorm. anger has been there for him when nothing else was, has been the only constant he's ever been able to count on. he wants to be angry, but he isn't. he feels empty instead. it's so much worse.

there's a long pause between when he gets the message and when he replies to it. he doesn't think it matters. he's talking to a ghost, anyway. elias isn't making it back. neither is regan. neither are nora or wynne. he knows this. he thinks he should have known it from the beginning. he thinks it always ends the same.]

[pm] Nobody needs me. Think we both know that. Not much of a help. Never really have been.

Sorry this happened to you.

#eliaskahtri #elias: needs #private #i don't think this is strictly how [user] brackets are supposed to work but #he won't talk about his feelings #and i need to get them out there #and i'm too lazy to write a self para #so this is what we're left with

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] [User promised Emilio to keep him updated. But user does not know how to share the news they've learned — that Nora is arrested along with Regan. That the hammer is coming down. That everything is lost.] I don't know what to do. I don't think trying is enough. I've known that all along. I'm still trying, though. Emilio would you forgive me if it was just me who came back I still don't know when we're coming back. Nora is in trouble and so is Regan. I will know more later today about what trouble. Okay? I will let you know. I wan I should have just

[user has been trying and failing to hold it together. everything feels like it's falling apart. he stares at nothing for hours at a time, or he stares at things that aren't there, things left in mexico or in a barn basement or in a factory. every worst case scenario is on repeat. every time his phone buzzes, he writes a new eulogy. he's lost hope that things will end well. he's lost hope that things will end at all. he thinks he will feel this way forever.]

[pm] In trouble? In trouble how? Is she Are you Is she dead? You should go, Wynne. You should leave. You got out on your own before. You can do it again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm I should have seen it coming. Never been much good at plans, have I? Every time I try, everyone else ends up dea Okay. Yeah. Let me know. [...] I'm sorry you're alone. I should have found a way to come with you. It doesn't matter if they'd send me back to Mexico, or lock me up some place. Nothing fucking matters if

#ohwynne #wynne: trouble #private

[mortemoppetere]

#( a river of stones // inspiration ) #( anybody want a drink? // memes )

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not better at this. You deserved someone better at this. You and Nora and Fl

[pm] I will text you later, okay? I'm sorry

#ohwynne #wynne: leaving #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I'm sorry. I should have stopped you. I should have asked you not to go. You wouldn't have gone if I'd asked you not to. I should have asked. I should I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to fix anything. I can never fucking fix anything. I can never save anyone. Just as fucking useless now as I was then. The ending is the same.

Okay. Yeah. You'll figure it out. I'm sorry.

[pm] Regan's grandma. A lot of stab wounds. I don't know really. He's not awake much. There was so much blood. How much blood can a person

Not to me either and she's not here. What do I do I'll I am going to figure it out. Okay? I will. I will figure it out. [User is not.]

#ohwynne #wynne: leaving #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I only get annoyed when things are annoying. And I'm [...] not a dad. It does sound like something Teddy would like, though. Maybe we watch it together. [...] She kept sending them to me. I don't know why. Banshees are really weird, yes.

I don't like that one even more.

Look, I don't think you were stupid. Okay? I think [...] you wanted the world to make sense, and it doesn't. I don't think that's something you should feel bad about.

[......]

Nora isn't answering me anything. And Wynne says things are [....] bad. I don't know, Van. I don't know if this is going to work out. If they're going to-

[pm] Yeah, I figured. He's a cook and he's a dad and stuff, and he gets like, annoyed by things and you also get annoyed by things. But he's a super good dad or whatever. I think you might like it, the humor is funny. Do you like puns? Burger puns specifically? I bet Teddy would love Bob's Burgers if they haven't already seen it. I bet they have because they're cool. [....] She's giving you worms? I got worms, and then there were a lot of mice, and she left me behind with some bones but now I have bones for her. Banshees are like, really weird.

D :

Yeah, true. I [....] yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm working on it, okay? Like, I'm not as stupid as I was with the cheese stuff. I know that wasn't actually cheese now. I just wanted to believe it was, because if it was cheese then nothing else that was happening to me was actually happening, you know?

Have you [...] you're talking to them, right? They both mention you a lot.

#vanoincidence #van: house #private #im assuming the first half and the second half take place at differentt times ok

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] What happened to him? Leave him if you have to. You and Nora are more important. He knew what he was getting into, he told me as much. You're

Nora isn't replying to me anymore. [user is slipping back into a panic. he's in that living room again. there's blood on the floor. it's flora's, it's wynne's, it's nora's. it's never his, but he wishes it was. he'll spend the rest of his life wishing this.]

[pm] It's not about Regan even if I don't know where she is. Her grandmother did [User doesn't want to freak Emilio out. User knows they've already failed at not doing this.] Elias is hurt. I'm not. But he cannot run away now, not like this. I am afraid they'll hurt me too. My th I want to go but I can't.

Why couldn't Nora Why did it take so long for her to understand I don't know any more, Emilio. I've barred the door and I have a scalpel but I don't know what to do.

#ohwynne #wynne: leaving #private #suicide ideation tw

[mortemoppetere]

[user is beginning to panic more and more.]

[user never comes back online to answer this]

#honeysmokedham #nora: coming home #private

[mortemoppetere]

Going insane about kicked dog with rabies type characters

#( a river of stones // inspiration ) #animal cruelty tw #( as a metaphor )

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] She told me she'd get you all out tonight. [user starts pacing around his living room.] What? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? If you have to leave Regan, that's okay. Okay? She'll be all right. I don't think the banshees will hurt her, but they'll kill you and Nora and Elias. We can figure something else out for her.

[user feels guilty.] I know. I know you are, kid. I'm sorry.

[pm] I'm waiting for Nora. She hasn't come yet. She told me she was on her way. [...] Something bad happened. I don't know where Regan is. Elias is He's I had to I can't let hi Emilio I am trying so hard.

#ohwynne #wynne: leaving #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] What? What happened? Nora is ready to go now. She told me she wants to leave. Kid, you need to get out of there. [user is slipping again. this feels like a punch in the gut.]

[pm] It's delayed. It got delayed. I am sorry. Nora texted me but we got delayed. I'm sorry. I'm trying to fix it. [User looks at Elias. Elias is still out of it. They have to repack the wounds soon. They have at least stopped crying.]

#ohwynne #wynne: leaving #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] You're the only one who thinks that, kid.

[...]

That's more than okay. I would love to start paying you. [...] How much am I supposed to be paying you?

[pm] You're a softie. Look at you. You never have to be better because of me. You're already the best.

[user is so happy in this moment.]

Oh, I think I need to start getting paid. I don't think everyone is suited to my stray cat lifestyle. Is that okay?

#honeysmokedham #nora: coming home #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] I haven't seen Bob's Burgers. I haven't seen most things. I don't know who Bob is. Is he a good guy? I don't think it works that way. Most things that have therapy in them probably don't work, actually. I don't think it's stupid to be afraid of banshees, though. [user hesitates a moment.] I'm afraid of them. Except Kavanagh. I'm only afraid she'll keep giving me worms. [...] Yeah, yeah. Don't tell them I said so. They'll get a big head about it, I'd never hear the end of it. [...] Whatever.

Stop it.

He's more fun to make fun of than I am, probably. He's French. [...] I do care about Nora and Wynne. They deserve to have someone care about them, and to have someone save them. So do you. Don't know how much any of you need saving, though. You're all pretty good at getting out of trouble. You're just a little bit better at getting into it.

[pm] Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Maybe um, have you watched Bob's Burger's? I think you're like Bob. I think I'm like oooh, it's exposure therapy, you know? And then it's like, okay! Sure, I don't need to be afraid, but then it scares me anyway. It's stupid. Banshees are stupid. Except for Regan, even if she's stupid for going to Ireland. That's so gay Emilio. Like, I never knew you could get that uwu about something. It's nice to see people care about people. I want to love that Nora is in love, but I'm till scared for her because Wynne is scared. Whatever. -_-

: (

Yeah, maybe it will. I used to make fun of you a lot, but maybe I should make fun of him instead. Because you like, care about Nora and stuff. And that's important. You care about Wynne, too. They're my best friends, and you're [...] you saved me like, twice now, and I think that sometimes they need saving and it's a good thing that [...] they have someone like you. I thought I had that, but I don't know what to believe now and I know you're kind of the same as that, but why is it easier to digest from you?

#vanoincidence #van: house #private

[mortemoppetere]

[user stares at this message for a long time. it's a lot of things he isn't sure he deserves, and it makes him feel like he has so much more to lose. it's scary. having something to lose is scary. he wonders if he was better off when he had nothing, but he can't imagine, for a moment, that he was better without nora, or wynne, or teddy, or anyone else he loves now. he has so much to lose now, and it scares him so much. but maybe scared isn't the worst thing a person can be.]

You mean a lot to me, too. I'm [...] not so good with words. You know that, I know that. I think everybody knows that. Better with actions, I think, but not the good kind. But you [...] make me want to be better. You make me want to be the kind of person who you should want to be when you grow up, I think.

I'd be proud, you know? I'd be really proud if you were my kid. I'm proud of you now, anyway.

You're wrong about the soap. I'll delete the message. See you soon.

[user saves the message so he can cry about it.]

[pm] This is dumb so delete it fast. And I know I just said some of it before. But Declan has taught me that you need to tell people things, or they won't know and nothing gets said. But you mean a lot to me. More than a source for food. You cared more about me than my dads since the moment you found me in the graveyard trying to scare you. And you weren't scared of me and it meant everything to me, because everyone is scared of me. I don't know who my real dad is, but I wish it was you. I still want to be like you when I grow up, and I know you say you're bad, but you've only been the best influence on my life. You're right about everything, which is annoying. Except for the 5-in-1. You're not right about that. So again. Thank you for everything.

Anyways, delete that. See you soon.

#honeysmokedham #nora: coming home #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] Yeah. Maybe something without any banshees. Maybe something with no supernatural things at all, actually. Bound to set someone off, right? [...] They're not small. They're [...] everything. But I worry sometimes, yeah. I worry they think they're too much. They're not. But they [...] pretend to like themself more than they do. I think everyone should like them, too. [user is a little amused by van's reaction here.] You asked, I answered. Maybe you shouldn't ask things if you don't want information, Van.

[...] I don't know what you want from me here.

Yeah, in public. Maybe it would make you feel better. I think it's good to make fun of him. I think it helps. [...] He wouldn't kill you. The most he will do is curse in French.

[pm] I mean, we don't have to. We can watch whatever. Maybe Nora won't want to think about banshees since she wanted to stay there, you know? I don't know if I want to think about banshees either, actually. I don't think they're small. I think they're [...] cool, and nice. Important, you know? I want to be like them, I think. I think everyone should like them. Okay that's like, ENOUGH information on that front!! That's nice though! Gay love wins or whatever! Vibing is good.

[...] : (

Maybe he would. You mean in public? I don't have a problem doing that like, at all. Mostly because I don't really care. My house got blown up. What could he do to me that's worse than that? I guess he could kill me, but he doesn't seem like the type.

#vanoincidence #van: house #private

[mortemoppetere]

[pm] You can show appreciation with cash.

Maybe [...] there are some things you don't get over. Maybe that's okay. But it's good that you don't have to be a part of it anymore. Think they probably don't deserve to have you around, anyway. Probably too good for them. [...] Okay. I'll leave it alone, if you want me to.

[pm] Very much appreciated.

Yeah. Guess I thought I was over it. Turns out I really, really wasn't. I am glad, though. Not to be part of their [...] bullshit any longer. I'm sure. Kinda feel like he doesn't deserve any more effort from either of us, to be honest.

#rn zane #zane: new occupants #private