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One Eye Open
Nanako: Dad! I can’t reach the Gushers!
Dojima: You already had a pack of Gushes this afternoon.
Nanako: Yeah, what’s your fucking point?
Yu: Jesus, Nanako. Shut the fuck up. I ate the last bag of Gushers while you were taking your afternoon bath, you dirtball. 
Nanako: Oh, well, in that case Big Bro, I suggest you sleep with one eye open. 
Dojima: Nanako! What does daddy say about making threats we know we can’t keep?
Nanako: Oh, no daddy. I will keep it. 
Dojima: You heard it, Yu. One eye open. 
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Nanako’s Here
Nanako: Don’t worry, I got this!
Chie: What the fuck was that?
Nanako: It was me! Nanako Dojima.
Chie: Jesus Christ, is that a fucking Gremlin?!
Nanako: No, I’m a 3rd grader!
Chie: Just no one feed that fucking thing after midnight.
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Chie The Prom Queen
Ms. Kashiwagi: The winner is... Chie Satonaka?
Everyone: [gasps]
Kanji: ...The wow.
Ai: This is the worst thing that has happened to anyone ever!
Rise: You cannot be serious!
Chie and Yukiko: [laughs]
Yukiko: Our plan has come to fruition! 
Ms. Kashiwagi: Congradulation- Bleh. I can’t even say it- Congratulations Chie Satonaka... You’re the 2012 Yasogami High Prom Queen... Oh my god..
Chie: Aw, thank you, Ms. Kashiwagi. From one popular girl to another... You are standing in my light.
Ms. Kashiwagi: I’m sorry, what?
Chie: Hit the bricks, bitch.
Ms. Kashiwagi: I never!
Chie: Well, now you have. [gets up on stage] People of Yasogami, your Queen is humbled by-
Rise: No. This cannot be possible! You smell! You talk obsessively about kung fu! And no one even likes you!
Yukiko: Hey! I like her...
Rise: Exactly!
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Prom Night at Yasogami High
Ms. Kashiwagi: Welcome to the 2012 Yasogami- Why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Chie: Hey... Wait, why am I wearing a tuxedo?
Yukiko: It’s a women’s cut!
Ms. Kashiwagi: Did that come with balls and a dick or did you buy that separately? 
Yukiko: Ms. Kashiwagi, do you like my dress?
Ms. Kashiwagi: You look like a tampon that was dipped in Skittles, and vomit.
Yukiko: Thank you!
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The Club Kids Get Jobs
[Daisuke and Ayane go door to door] 
Daisuke: Hey!
[next door]
Daisuke: Hey!
[next door]
Daisuke: Hi...
Ayane: You guys want to buy some knives!?
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If Mitsuru Went to Yasogami High
Mitsuru: And maybe we can have a- How do you say “ ménage à trois?”
Rise: Really? You’re really asking how to say “ménage à trois”?! It’s a fucking French word, you little bitch!
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I have a pot luck with a few friends of mine who are in a cult. I have to bring the guacamole.
Mitsuo Kubo
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Meanwhile in the Yasogami High locker room
Kou: Are you trying to infer that because you’re willing to do stuff to our butts, it proves that you’re more of a man that us?
Yosuke: I’m not saying anything. I’m just saying...
Yu: The only thing that you’re saying, is that you’re gay. 
Yosuke: I’m not gay. You’re gay!
Yu: Yeah, so?
Yosuke: Wait, what?
Yu: I’m gay, dude.
Other students: Yup, he’s gay.
Kou: We had an assembly about it.
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And for the record, Naoto Shirogane, I do not just give handjobs. I also let boys fuck me in my butthole! That right, not my growler, but my butthole! Because I am saving my vaginity for someone special, and that's not you, Senpai.
Rise Kujikawa
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True Friendship
Chie: Wow, Yukiko! What a great party!
Yukiko: Aw, thanks, Chie! 
Chie: Is anybody else coming?
Yukiko: No, I didn’t invite anybody else. 
Chie: Cool. I didn’t want any other dildos showing up, anyways. 
Yukiko: Are you ready for another episode of Gossip Girl?
Chie: Why not, I’m not driving!
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After the Kou thing
Ai: So to answer your question, Yu, THAT is why I hate Chie Satonaka SO. FUCKING. much. 
Yu: Cool... Well, I don’t mean to be rude but, that story was very long, and much more involved than I originally thought it would be, and I have had to poop through most of it. So, if you excuse me...
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Yosuke: Okay, I get it. You don’t understand me. Look, Kan. You don’t know what it’s like to be different. 
Kanji: First of all, no body but my ma calls me “Kan.” Second, I’m a Japanese man with no penis or testicles, living in a poor rural town. Different is the only thing I do understand!
Yu: Hey man, if you ever want to talk about that-
Kanji: Nah, it’s just this motherfucker right here pissing me off!
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Yukiko Toughens Up
Yukiko: I’m sorry about this.
Rise: Do what you must.
Yukiko: I’ll never forget you... [turns to a group of Risette fanboys]  You guys are shit. From a butt, that smells like...bitch. Which is what you are, as well, so fuck... in your butts. All the shit that bitches are, and- and you fuck that shit that's all in your butt and you put it in the f the bitch that is your face, 'cause you're a fucking, butt!
Chie: Yukiko, please stop. 
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Rise: I just have to say you are fucking adorable and I love everything about you. Kanji: Right back at you, bitch! Rise: Oh my god! You’re the bitch, you bitch!
Kanji: No, you’re the bitch. 
Rise: Bitch! 
Kanji: Bitch!
Yosuke: Someone call me bitch.
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Yosuke: Yeah, that’s right! Walk away! [under his breath] Like a bitch.
Kanji: What the fuck did you just say?! 
Yosuke: N-Nothing! Just that- [is punched several times by Kanji]
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