short story
Year: 1989
Patient Name: Chelsea, dawn, carter
Patient age: 17
It was nearing the end of the year 1988 and I still haven't done it, I've been thinking and
thinking about how to do it. Sometimes I think a little too much. It's almost like the thought is too much for me to handle. I don't even know if she'll still be my friend. Her name is Victoria Chase, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's smart, funny, kind and overall a really good
person. Most people think that she'd never love me back but I was still going to try. I couldn't sleep, I'm thinking of her too much, it's to the point where it's unhealthy to even
think of her. I have to find a way to tell her but how.
I got ready, put my jacket on , and headed to the door. As I make my way outside I notice something shining, a piece of glass. I always love living in Big Bear, and when it snows, It gives me some sort of security. I got in my car and started the engine. I don't know why but this whole morning I've been reminded of my surroundings, maybe today is the day I do it, maybe. On my drive to school, I notice so many things. the way the trees move, how the snow slowly makes its way to the ground and rooftops of the houses, It's beautiful. As I pull up to the the school I take a moment to breathe in…. And out, I sat in that car for what feels like hours. I am struggling to open the door, it’s like I’m scared and don’t know what to do.
When I finally muster up enough strength to open the door it’s like I’m starting something like I just broke a barrier. I never really liked Big Bear High School. I had a lot of bad memories ¨ Guess who.¨ I turned around thankfully just to see my friend Nicole. ¨Hey what's up.¨ I was glad to see her she was always a good friend ¨Nothing just waiting for you, so is today the day?¨ I took a deep breath ¨I’m not sure but today feels good.¨ ¨ Hey, 365 times the charm.¨ When I walk into class I can see her, Victoria. I know this is just going to be another long day.
“Excuse Me,¨ I turn around to see Victoria trying to get the teacher's attention. ¨I just wanted to say that I'm going to be moving soon.¨ My heart stops. ¨ Where will you be going? ¨Washington state.¨ Washington, no she can't be. ¨When are you leaving?¨ ¨ Tomorrow morning, so this is my last day¨ No if she leaves then I won't be able to tell her. I have to wait for the end of the day. I wait for hours, class by class until the time finally comes. The end of the day is here, I follow her to the buses and tap on her shoulder. ¨Oh hey, Chelsea came to say goodbye.¨ I took a deep breath. ¨ Actually I came to tell you something before you left¨ my heart dropped and the world slowed down. I opened my mouth but the words wouldn't come out. ¨sh, it's ok, I know what you wanted to say.¨ she put her finger on my lips. ¨You do.¨ I was scared ¨I do, you're not good at keeping secrets , Carter.¨ I could breathe again and the world moved a little quicker. ¨
Wait if you know then why didn't you tell me?¨ Because I was scared, and I was hoping you could do it but what the hell, why not.¨ I started to think and as always that's not a good thing ¨I wish I didn't wait so long, I’m sorry.¨ ¨Don't be,¨ I looked her in the eyes ¨The day isn't over yet.¨ She put her hand on my face. ¨What are you doing?¨ ¨something I'll never get the chance to do again.¨ We locked eyes and leaned in and kissed. At that moment it was like my life purpose was fulfilled. I didn't want to leave. I knew it was a couple of seconds but it felt like a lifetime. ¨hey you want to come over sense it's my last day, my parents are still at work.¨ I stuttered ¨ye-yes I'd love to.¨ I grab my things off the floor not knowing that I dropped them. We both got on the bus that goes to her house the whole time we just spent time together. When we got to the house we spent more time together. When the day was over I found myself lying in her bed falling asleep.
¨That was the best day of my life.¨ I whispered in her ear. ¨you obviously have never been to Disneyland. ¨she giggled. ¨you know I almost forgot that you have to leave tomorrow… oh shit I also forgot my car!¨ I got up and grabbed my stuff frantically. As I panicked she got up and grabbed my arm. ¨hey you could just get it in the morning.¨ I don't know what it is but she can calm me down. ¨in the meantime just lay down with me.¨ I got back to bed. ¨yeah your right.¨ In my entire life, I never knew what parts of my life were significant. But tonight I knew that this moment was significant. The next morning I woke up and went to get my car. The air was still and cold. I could even see my own breath halfway down the street. When I got to the parking lot I got a call from Victoria.
“Hey Chelsea, where are you? I woke up and you were gone.” I giggled. “I'm fine, I just
went to get my car and I didn't want to wake you up.” “ Oh Thank god, when you get your car call me and meet me at Denny's.” ï pulsed. “Ok, I'll meet you there then.” I was too distracted by my car. I forgot to tell her that I was leaving. I know that I never like to get too personal with a lot of people. My closest friend is Nicole but sometimes I'm not completely honest with her either. Once I found my car I called veronica and told her I was on my way and got in. When I started the car I took a moment to breathe. I felt sad. Which I thought was weird. I got what I wanted . I spent an ole day with veronica. But I felt empty. Once I got to the diner and saw her I suppressed all my thoughts and put on a happy face.
I was nervous but I didn't know why maybe because I know she's leaving and I won't see her again. I don't know why but I didn't want to see her. Maybe a part of me thought of last night as one-Nightstand . I know it wasn't but I don't know. “Hey!” she looked so happy to see me, it gave me some sort of screens. “hey what's up.” “nothing I just thought I'm not gone yet so why not.” I felt bad that I'm not as excited as her. “Hey, I'm sorry , I'm not the most energetic person in the mornings.” she looks at me like I was dumb. “It's not a big deal ok you're fine the way you are
energetic or not, I love you.” “I know it's just weird you're my first actual “girlfriend” and I can't
call you that because you're leaving.” I felt stupid. “Hey it's ok just be glad you're here with me now.” she wrapped her arms around me.
“I know but if I wasn't so scared we could have been something, good things come to those who wait, my ass.” she giggled. “So what time are you going?” she stopped to think. “I don't know, I'll ask my mom,” I remember when I had to ask my mom to do things, now she just doesn't care anymore. “She said that we're leaving at nine.” “oh ok.” “so I guess this is goodbye.?” I didn't want her to leave. “Sadly it is.” she looked at me with a tear in her eye. “Well goodbye.”
“I don't like goodbyes, so see you later.” she giggled. “Yeah see you around.” she smiled and left
the diner. That was the last time I'd see her. The rest of the day flowed like it had no meaning.
The next day was like all the others before, slow and without meaning. “Hey!” I turned to
see my friend Nicole.
“hey.” I was so tired. “I know you don't like to go out but you look like you
need to so I'm inviting you to a little get-together at my friend's house.” I took a deep breath. “Are
you inviting me to a party?” she paused “uh yeah, but it's not a big one it's just me and my
friends… and their friends and their friends .'' I sighed in frustration but she's my friend,
so. “Fine I'll go but don't expect me to make many new friends.” her face lit up with excitement and she giggled. “Really oh my god you're not going to regret it.” “I have a funny feeling that I might. That night I got ready hoping it wouldn't be a bad night. I had my doubts but I don't want
to be rude. She's a good person and is the only other girl that wants to be my friend. Once
I was done getting ready I got a call from her. “Hey!” she sounded excited. “I was wondering if I could pick you up instead of you driving.” “Why?” her voice went from excited to nervous fast. “Well we haven't been hanging out lately and I just wanted to do something nice.” I hesitated. “Um sure, I don't see why not.” “ cool,,, I'll there in a jiff!” She hung up the phone and five minutes later she showed up at my house in a denim jacket and some jeans. I always loved her style. My clothes consisted of flannel and skinny jeans. “Hey! Ready to go.” she looked nervous. “Yeah, I'm ready.” When we got to the party I immediately hated it. There were so many people there and I didn't do well with them.
“Alright, we're here.” I felt scared. “I have a feeling I'm going to hate this.” “oh come on just stick next to me.” she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car. As we made our way to the door hand in hand I noticed people were watching. Everyone knew which gender I preferred to be with and they were not okay with that. There was one person , Nightstands . And she is sitting five feet away from where I was walking. But weirdly enough she wasn't the first to say anything. “Oh my god! I can't believe it.” oh shit. “oh hey Mathew.” Mathew was Nicole's boyfriend until she decided to not date an asshole anymore. “Did you leave me so you can be a queer with Chelsea?” “No, I left you because I don't want to be the bitch that's dating the biggest asshole in town.” “yeah right, your ng Chelsea aren't you-” “Hey! Back off or else I'm kicking you out , Mathew.”
It was Nicole's friend who threw the party. “fine but keeps those fags away from me.” “hey keep it up I want to kick you out.” her friend walked up to us. “Hey, I'm sorry about that guys.” I felt terrible. “No, I'm sorry he wouldn't have done that if I wasn't here.” Nicole looked at me like I was stupid. “Hey shut up, it's not your fault he's an idiot, come on let's get something to drink.” The rest of the night was fun. I had a great time with my friend. We danced and even played some beer pong. I didn't expect it but after we had that little run-in with Matthew it'd be a quiet night and by quiet I mean we drank until we saw someone puke.
It was fun and the next day was still pretty boring but I at least had my friend there to keep me from being sad. During lunch, we all sat at a table and talked about last night and how crazy it was. “What about you Chelsea, what did you think about last night?” “It was fun.” they all looked at me. “That's it, it was fun!?” “um… yeah what do you want me to say.” I laughed. “Well something more interesting than it was fun, I mean did you hook up with anyone.” I looked at him with a straight face. “Do you see any more gays here?” “oh yeah well then what did you do?”
“I just hung out with Nicole the whole time.” there was silence at the table after I gave my response to the group then Nicole started to open her mouth. “All we did was have some fun and get wasted, nothing super interesting.”Alex just rolled his eyes over the boring response that Nicole said “what about the whole Mathew thing.” I looked down at my hands and started to play with my fingers to try to ignore the question. “It was nothing just him being an asshole again.” as I was looking down I noticed a new voice enter the conversation.
“What's going on queers.” It was Cassidy, which is the worst person in my opinion. “Hey, dick magnate.” I was surprised at the comeback that Nicole came up with. “I just wanted to tell you that I heard about the whole issue with Matthew and that everyone will know about you two.” I felt my heart sink into my stomach. “Hey bitch if I wanted to talk to a slut I would go to your mom's house.” “yeah fuck off bitch.” I was surprised at how defensive my friends were over me but I guess that's what friends are for. “Hey sorry about that.” “hey it's fine, I don’t mind being called queer for a couple of days ok, besides she's a bitch and no one will believe her.” I smiled at Nicole.
After school I when I got home I arrived to see my mom on the couch passed out with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. To get away from her I called Nicole and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk or something. “Hey, Nicole what's going on.” “nothing what’s up.” I stopped to take a breath. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a walk.” “sure I’m not doing anything.” “cool see you at the lake.” I got dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and a warm fuzzy jacket and quietly and quickly went out the door trying to not wake my mom and went to the lake. On my way there I noticed some jokes were going around town on a joyride. Once I showed up at the lake I told her about the jocks.
I have not finished and I would appreciate constructive criticism
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