mrs-bones-teaches

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Scene: goguardian chat 40 minutes before parent teacher conference

Student: If I turn in missing work right now, will that help my grade?

Me: Well it will when your teachers grade it...but it's not going to change now.

Student: OK...I'm just going to go pray then.

Me: 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Things my middle school students have said instead of "Rube Goldberg Machine"

Gold Ruberg machine

Ruby Goldberg machine

Rude Goldberg machine

Rubiks cube machine

The Domino thing

and my personal favorite: Roober Goober machine

[mrs-bones-teaches]

There is no greater sadness and frustration than when on the final day of a 2 week project a student asks "so what are we doing?"

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Student: Mrs. L, Did you see that?

me: no, what happened?

Student: Oh never mind. I just ate a stick of butter.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

I'm so tired.  I need to close my brain for a minute.

7th grader after science fair

[mrs-bones-teaches]

STOP BEING BUTTHURT, YOU CHILD!

- shouted across the room after coming back from playing dodgeball in gym.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Student: Are crocodiles birds?

Me: Nope.

Student: But ostriches are?

Me: Yes, they are!

Student: That's whack.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Student: What does recall the purpose mean?

Me: Say it again.

Student: Okay. What does recall the purpose mean?

Me: Say it again!

Student: What does-

Me: In your conclusion! You have to say the purpose again!

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Me: Sweetheart, where's your coat? You need it for recess.

Student: *pulls coat out of her shirt* LOOK MISS, I HAVE GIVEN BIRTH!

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Student: did you know that eating an orange and drinking milk gives you diarrhea?

Me: I did not know that.

Student: Yeah, I did that this morning. So if I ask to go to the bathroom, you know what's up.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Missing my students a lot today - so here come the pre-quarantine quotes!

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Me: You know how to use a glue gun safely, right?

Student: Yes I do. That's why I'm not the one using it.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

We have reached peak 7th grade zoom call:

One kid was making his stuffed animals dab.

One kid was making a toilet paper tower.

One kid said he had a VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION and then rickrolled us.  

[mrs-bones-teaches]

In case you need a laugh today - Teaching from home is going great!

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Don't worry, I have some kid quotes saved for emergencies, so I can still post during quarantine.

But I also had a kid write thong instead of thing in an email so I will probably still have material

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Student: Do I actually have to write the WHOLE website address?

Me: You can do it! I believe in you!

Student: That’s good, becauseI have doubts.

[mrs-bones-teaches]

Female student: He told me to stop being such a girl, so I said “What do you expect me to be? A Dinosaur?”