mrsparker123 - Tumblr blog

mrsparker123 · 1 year

Text

White Roses

Y/N has spent the last 3 years dating Shawn and taking care of his son after his mother abandoned them following his birth. Everything changes when she returns

Really sad.

Word count: 4.2K

“Okay Honey, do you want fruit loops or cocoa puffs?”

Opening the cabinet in a large men’s t-shirt and baggy sweatpants, Y/N swipes a piece of hair that fell out of her bun out of her face. She reaches up to grab the flimsy cardboard boxes of cereal, stretching her arms up far beyond her head on the tips of her toes.

“Fruit loops please” Y/N smiles at the way Eddie’s R’s sound like W’s at his lack of tiny teeth. She grabs the colorful box, tilting it so that the rainbow circles fill the small glass bowl in front of her.

Just as she’s done pouring the milk into the bowl of cereal, she feels two warm arms wrap around her waist.

“Already having breakfast without me?” Shawn places a warm kiss onto her shoulder and she giggles, turning around to place her arms around his neck.

“You wouldn’t get up so I figured i’d cover breakfast duty.” Shawn lets out a hum of appreciation, leaning down to give her a peck on the lips. After they disconnect, he mutters a small “I’m so lucky to have you.” Before grasping the bowl of cereal from the island behind her and placing it on the dining room table in front of his son.

“Daddy, how do I do this one?” He points to his math homework with his dull green crayon. Shawn looks at the paper, feigning confusion before teaching him how to do the simple addition.

Y/N watches with admiration. Although Eddie wasn’t hers genetically, she knew that after knowing him for nearly 3 years they’d both grown fond of eachother. She loved Eddie like he was her own, it was easier to considering he was the spitting image of his father.

Finishing her mug of hot coffee, Y/N places the mug in the sink. She walks over to the large marble table her boyfriend and Eddie are sat at, finishing their homework, and she places a kiss on the side of both of their heads.

“It’s 7:15, do you want me to drop Eddie off today?” She asks Shawn. She grabs the empty bowl with traces of milk hinting at the bottom, tossing it into the sink.

“I can drop him off on the way to Geoff’s.” He tells her.

“Eddie, go get your backpack.” Shawn tells him and the little boy nods, his wavy hair falling over his forehead in a little flop.

As they hear Eddies little sock clad feet pad up the stairs to his room, Shawn grabs Y/N by the waist and pulls her into him, tucking her head under his chin and placing a small kiss onto the top of her head.

“You’re so good to him.” He happily tells her. She smiles contently, breathing in the scent of his cologne with a deep breath. His cotton shirt feel soft against her cheek, and his broad frame allows her to just barely squeeze her arms around him.

“Ready to go!” A high pitched voice sing songs from the front door. They pull apart and Shawn gives her a little peck on the lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go before you’re late.” She pushes, smiling goofily like a child as he walks towards the front door and puts his shoes on one by one. She hears Eddie ask him a question about something he read in a book as they walk out the door and she sighs in content.

Y/N’s between classes.

She has 3 classes from 8:00-2:00, and then she has a two hour break before her final class at 4:00. During the 2 hours she spends her break grabbing lunch with her friends, or studying in the library on campus if the hours aren’t too busy.

Today, she’s chosen to spend her 2 hours in the small coffee shop on campus. The shop, attached to a local bookstore, has a very cozy feeling as she sips her tea and reads through her textbook while taking notes.

At 3:30 she gets a call from Shawn. Her phone blurts out with a catchy tune and people sitting around her and studying shoot her dirty looks as she answers. She’s not very sure what he could be calling for but nevertheless she answers.

“Hello?” She whispers into the phone, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Baby” She hears Shawn quickly reply. He sounds stressed, or exhausted. Y/N can hear his heavy breathing over the phone and she automatically assumes something is wrong.

“Is everything okay?” She asks.

“Yeah!” He quickly and abruptly responds, “Well, actually, Eddie got hurt at school.”

She gasps, immediately having a dozen thoughts run through her head. She’s worried to say the least about Eddie, there are so many things that could happen to a five year old boy at school. She specifically remembers breaking her arm herself in secondary school, and she immediately pushes her thoughts aside.

“Is he okay? How badly hurt? If I leave right now I can make it to the hos-”

“Honey, calm down.” Shawn interrupts with a chuckle, “It’s not bad, apparently he was having a foam sword fight with one of his classmates and he slipped and cut his arm on the shelf. It’s not that serious but they just want us to pick him up and i’m at work so I was hoping you could?”

Y/N sighs in relief, her entire demeanor changing. People shoot her dirty looks at how loudly her questioning was and she embarrassingly cups her hand around her phone.

Y/N knows she has a class in merely thirty minutes, but the kindergarten was only 10 minutes away, and her babysitter’s home was only 15 minutes away. If she rushed she could make it back in time.

“Say no more, I can drop him off”

And she throws her textbooks and journals into her back frantically, zipping it up and rushing out of the bookstore.

When Y/N had first met Shawn, he wasn’t nearly as open and put together as he was now.

He was a single father without any experience, barely raising a child on his own. He’d practically given up his career at that point to devote himself to becoming a good father, but instead of devoting himself to something else, he’d ended up losing himself in the process.

On top of this, he’d been abandoned by the first girl he loved, who had sworn she was as in love with him as she was raising their child, but had escaped her responsibilities and bolted the second Eddie was born.

And then he found Y/N.

With her soft hair and her even softer eyes. She’d been helping out at the local music festival by helping set up the technical equipment, the same music festival that Shawn first took Eddie too. Shawn wanted his son to love and appreciate music just as much as he did.

Eddie had gone missing when Shawn looked away for a moment, and while he was practically freaking out, he immediately felt better when he found him tugging on a beautiful girl’s sweater while she made faces to make him laugh.

So piece by piece, and bit by bit, Y/N put him back together… She travelled with him to scenic spots to have lunch while Shawn wrote lyrics and she watched over Eddie. She took care of Eddie while Shawn began going to the studio to record again.

It wasn’t until he met Y/N that Shawn realized how preposterous and devious it was of Eddie’s mother to have left him to begin with. Y/N had practically raised Eddie alongside him, and he’d grown closer with her than he could ever be with Veronica at this point.

For the longest time Shawn had believed that he was the reason Veronica had left, that it was his wrongdoing that led her out of his life. He believed that he was the reason his son would grow up without a mother. He spent two years being ashamed of himself, all the while stressed from the lack of sleep he was getting by single handedly raising a child.

But when he met Y/N, he finally realized that Veronica had been selfish, and that he’d done his best to raise his son correctly. He knew that her leaving was her own irresponsible doing, and that he didn’t have to blame himself for someone else’s decisions.

It was a Sunday, and Y/N was on her way to bake cookies with Eddie for the bake sale his school had the next day. Grabbing two fabric grocery bags in her fists, she made her way past the door to Shawn’s place. She had a smile painted across her face, excitement from spending more time with the people she loved.

And then she saw her.

Y/N had only ever seen her in pictures before. Some of them across fan accounts on the internet, and some on tabloids when she searched her boyfriends name to find his tour dates.

She noticed that in person her eyes were much greener, legs much longer, skin radiant as if she were a permanently airbrushed human being. But what threw her off, oddly enough, wasn’t even the fact that she was sitting on the couch to her boyfriend’s living room after abandoning him and her son after giving birth. It was the fact that the two of them were laughing, a bowl of fruit set in front of them as Shawn bounced Eddie on his knee.

Y/N would be lying if she said her chest didn’t twist up into little knots. She was just a bit upset, not just because of the pain that she had caused her boyfriend, but also because it seemed like there was nothing wrong. She returned after being gone for years and just butted in perfectly.

Eddie looks rather uncomfortable being seated in front of the woman. His large hazel eyes seem droopy and bored. He squirms around on Shawn’s knee, not wanting to be where he is.

Y/N sets her groceries down on the counter, the rustling of the packaging inside making noticeable noises. From the corner of her eyes, she sees three pairs of eyes snap over to where she’s standing.

“Mom!” Eddie jumps up to run towards her. Y/N can’t help but flutter at the name, and she sees the disappointed look on Veronica’s face from the corner of her eye.

“Hi honey! Are you excited to make some cookies?” Y/N ruffles Eddie’s curly hair, no doubt a trademark of his dad. His nose scrunches up as she ruins his messy hair and he smiles happily as he runs behind the kitchen island.

Shawn stands up from the couch along with Veronica, walking over to the kitchen area where Y/N is unpacking some flour, and placing several pints of ice cream into the freezer (they were on sale). She shoots Veronica a glance, but quickly tears her eyes away.

“Y/N, this is Veronica, Veronica this is my girlfriend Y/N.” He introduces him. Veronica narrows her eyes slightly before painting a smile on her face and sticking out her hand for Y/N to shake.

“Nice to meet you.” Y/N says to be polite, hiding her disdain as she immediately turns around to grab the sugar from the cabinets behind her. When she grabs it and then places it on the counter, Eddie and Shawn are nowhere to be seen. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion and Veronica reads her facial expressions, speaking up.

“They went over there.” She points at a door. Y/N knows she’s never been in the house before, since she spent her time with Shawn while he still lived in his condo. She nods and heads over to Shawn’s large bedroom, opening the door to see Shawn squatting in front of Eddie.

“You can’t call Y/N mommy when Veronica’s around because she might get sad. It’s rude and it’s not very nice.”

Y/N feels her heart ache a bit. Shawn was defending the woman who had hurt him, who’d abandoned him for lord knows what and Eddie only called Y/N that because she was the closest thing he had to a mother figure. All of his friends had moms, and Y/N knew that the concept would be confusing to him at such a young age.

“But that’s what I call her in front of everyone else?” Eddie is clearly disappointed because he feels like he’s being disciplined, with his dad sternly speaking to him in private. He sees Y/N when she widens the door and immediately rushes over to grab at her leg, hugging it towards him.

Y/N pets at his curls while Shawn sighs, walking over to the two of them.

“What is she doing here?” She sternly, but quietly, asks him. He lets out a deep breath, fingers nervously running through his hair.

“She stopped by. Trust me, I was angry at her at first too. But Y/N, she told me she wants to play a part in Eddie’s life now. She’s applied for modelling jobs in Toronto and she’s planning on getting an apartment here. I figured i’d let her, because Eddie doesn’t have a mom.”

Y/N’s chest thuds a little bit when Shawn tells her those words, but she knows he’s right. She’s not Eddie’s mother, no matter how much it feels like it.

“Shawn, she left you both.” Y/N tells him. He sighs.

“I knew you would say that.” He honestly tells her. And it isn’t in a casual way, he seems annoyed at it. Annoyed at the fact that Y/N wouldn’t forgive the woman who practically destroyed him, right away.

“Do you not remember how hurt you were when she left you? How she said she didn’t want either of you?” She questions. Shawn asks Eddie to leave, as he doesn’t want him listening, but Eddie refuses to be left alone with Veronica. He shakes his head and tightens his grip on Y/N’s thigh.

“People deserve second chances, Y/N.” He tells her.

“Not for things this big, they don’t!” She exclaims back at him. He pinches the bridge of his nose, wanting to leave the situation.

“Eddie deserves better than that, we both know that.”

He doesn’t respond, instead focusing his attention on the floor as he shakes his head, dodging every word she says.

“She hasn’t been a good mother to him, you know that. She hasn’t been at any of his school performances or dropped him off at daycare, or spent any time with him at all.” She tries to reason.

“Jesus christ, Y/N, you’re not his fucking mother! She is! So just let it go, taking care of him doesn’t make you more entitled to make decisions for him than his own fucking DNA.”

Y/N takes a step back, heart aching as she swallows thickly. She feels a lump forming in her throat and her eyes sore a bit as they glaze over a bit. She chooses to ignore the situation as a whole.

Shawn’s sorry, she can tell because he opens and closes his mouth, no words coming out of them. His hand, one of them being balled into a fist at his side, unballs and he reaches out to grab at her shoulder. Before he can, she turns on her heel, squatting down to talk to Eddie.

“Wanna go make some cookies?” A tear dribbles out of her eye and Eddie reaches out to swipe it away, worry on his features. He nods and the walk out of the door to the bedroom.

It’s been a day.

Shawn apologized to Y/N and she brushed it off, telling him it was fine before going about their morning routine to drop Eddie off at school. It wasn’t fine, and her heart was uncertain as it beat in her chest, but she didn’t want to cause trouble so she ignored it. After she finishes her last class, she pulls up to Eddie’s school to pick him up.

Approaching the front desk, she greets Mrs. Martha, a sweet old lady who Y/N recognizes as the teacher for children a year younger than Eddie.

“Hi, i’m here to pick up Eddie Mendes? Here’s my ID.”

She slides her card onto the desk, and the usual worker greets her, but leaves her card on the counter without even grabbing it.

“Y/N, some lady already picked him up.” She tells her. Y/N is confused for a moment, panicking because she wonders if he’s been taken somehow but then she calms down enough to ask a question.

“What lady?”

“Tall, really green eyes, kind of stuck up. She came in with a Gucci purse and refused to set it on the counter because it was ‘too dirty’, her name was Veronica.”

Y/N’s heart drops to the pit of her stomach, she had previously confirmed her picking up Eddie to him but he clearly hadn’t listened.

“I don’t think I put him on the pick up list?” She asks one more time.

“Yeah, his father called it in this afternoon. Shawn I think his name is?”

Defeatedly, and with a dozen of Eddie’s favorite donuts sitting in the passenger seat of her car, she walks out the door of the daycare and drives back to her own apartment that she hasn’t been in in a long time.

“Hey Shawn, uhm, it’s Y/N. I haven’t heard from you since Sunday but, Eddie’s school performance is today and I was wondering if you still wanted me to come. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

And she hangs up the phone, the voice machine letting out a small beep as she clicks it off.

Y/N has a bouquet of white roses, Eddie’s favorite flower, in her passenger’s seat. She twists her key into the ignition, debating whether or not she should drive to the local theatre for his performance. She was sure Shawn would be there, and undoubtedly, so would Veronica.

“Fuck it.” Y/N mutters to herself, shifting the gear to drive as she pulls the car out of the parking garage and heads towards the theatre.

When Y/N walks in, the performance is just starting. Parents are standing around with their small kids, all conversing amongst each other. Y/N greets a few of the moms she’s grown close to, and greets some of the small children that she’s taken care of when they’ve come over for playdates.

Sifting through the crowd of people, she finally sports little Eddie talking to Carter, another little boy in their class.

“Eddie!” She calls out. His face lights up at the sight of her, but then it immediately falls as he looks in another direction. Y/N follows his gaze to see Shawn, laughing while his hands are stuck onto Veronica’s waist. Veronica spots Y/N staring at them, and immediately pushes forward to attach her lips to Shawn’s.

She sees Shawn pull back almost instantly, but she doesn’t have time to notice because she’s disappointed either way. She’s sad because his hands were on her waist, because Veronica picked up the boy she practically raised from his school, because she’s marched back into both of their lives as if nothing’s happened and Shawn’s done nothing to prevent it.

So she lets her tears dribble down her cheeks despite the people all around her, despite all of the parents she knows watching her and despite what they think of her she lets herself fall apart. She doesn’t think she’ll have to see any of them ever again.

The white roses she held in her hands drop to the floor, and she feels a pair of eyes snap over to her, widening when they see her. Shawn instantly walks over to her but she turns around to walk out of the doors of the theatre.

Eddie follows after her, the smart boy obviously seeing she’s distressed. He catches up to her and she leans over quickly to pick him up and heads to get some fresh air. She wanted to be there for Eddie, at least for one more night.

When they both make it outside, the cold air has their cheeks turning pink in the cool winter air.

Y/N sobs as she tucks her face into Eddie’s little puffy jacket, breathing in the scent of Shawn’s - and what she thought was also her - home. Her fists ball in and grasp the fabric of his winter coat and she’s sure people will think she’s absolutely insane. She hears the door open behind her.

“Y/N-”

“I was stupid, wasn’t I?” She asks, still staring out into the chilly Toronto night sky.

“Maybe that’s why you actually dated me.” Her voice breaks as she gasps for air through her sobs. Shawn feels his heart breaking, he’s aware whatever he says can’t fix it. He had just been so caught up in the idea of having a really family, but he’d forgotten the fact that he did have a family.

Veronica wasn’t Y/N. She was Eddie’s mother, yes, but she was still much too immature to take care of anyone but herself. It felt familiar, having her back, but it wasn’t right. She wasn’t nearly as amazing as Y/N was. And when she had kissed him, he’d immediately pulled back because he knew it wasn’t right.

But it was hard to tell Y/N that, given that he’d made the mistake of ignoring her for the past few days.

“I should’ve known. Was it because I looked desperate or because you knew I would drop anything for either of you?”

“Y/N.”

“Was it convenient? I mean you obviously needed someone to take care of him, was I just like a nanny that you didn’t have to pay for… or something like that?”

Eddie breathes into Y/N’s neck, and goosebumps rise up her neck. She places a kiss into his hair, inhaling the scent of his kids shampoo as she tries to stop her tears.

“It’s not like that, you know how much you mean to me.” Shawn frantically puts his words together, not even knowing where to start.

“How was I dumb enough to think I could replace his mother?” She scolds herself, because that’s how Y/N looked at it. She wasted her time and energy for something that he thought of as temporary, disposable.

“God, baby, please tell me you know how much you mean to me.” He begs her, his panic starting to pool tears in his own eyes. She still doesn’t look at him, her eyes focused on everything but him with her back turned to him.

“…Or to think I could mean anything to you at all.” She concludes. Behind her, she hears people starting to scutter into the auditorium through the thin glass doors and knows that their time is limited.

“Y/N, i’m sorry. Please talk to me, look at me. Please.” He pleads but she just turns around and places her hand on the handle of the door, teeth still clenched as she spots Veronica cluelessly roaming around the lobby and looking for Shawn.

She opens the door, a gust of warm air enveloping her, and she finally sets Eddie down onto the cheap flooring of the lobby. Eddie looks up at her, worry etched on his features that are so similar to Shawn’s that it makes her want to start crying again.

She hears footsteps stop right behind her, and she wishes he would just disappear.

“Are you okay mommy?” He asks her, brushing her hair out of her face with his tiny little palms.

“Eddie…I might not see you for a while after tonight. But I love you, just know that I love you so much, and that you always meant the most to me, okay?”

He nods, wrapping his stubby arms around her neck one last time. She closes her eyes, enjoying the moment before she lightly pushes him towards the door all the other little kids went through to get ready for their play.

She turns around, finally meeting Shawn’s gaze. His eyes are slightly red and she instantly turns towards the door before he grabs her wrist.

“I need you.” He tells her, and she shakes her head. “I love you.”

“You were right, Shawn.” She pathetically squeaks out, “I’m not his mother. I never will be.”

And in the lobby of the old, cheap community theatre, with a bouquet of twisted white roses lying on the floor, Shawn wonders if things will ever be okay again.

5K notes · View notes