mtreebeardiles

[mtreebeardiles]

God you people really are desperate to invasively speculate about people’s gender identities, aren’t you?

“Uwu egg jokes are fine because it’s not bad to be a trans woman and cis men have it so easy.”

No one was saying not to call random people eggs because it’s like, some horrifying nightmare to be transfeminine that we shouldn’t wish it on people, nor that it was somehow oppressing cis men.

(Notice how it’s always about people being secret or unrealized trans women, and very rarely are trans masc or non-binary identities even acknowledged in these conversations.)

We were saying, or at least I was saying, not to call random people eggs because:

Strangers’ gender identities are none of your business

If someone’s a GNC person, they don’t like, owe it to you to be trans or something

And if you’re right, it’s still potentially dangerous, humiliating and rude to out people without their permission, the more so if you’re outing them for an identity they don’t even know they have! Fuck! I should not have to explain this! This is basic fucking queer etiquette.

So knock it the hell off or at least understand why people are telling you not to do it. It’s the least you could do.

[mtreebeardiles]

KRISTEN STEWART & KATY O'BRIAN Them Magazine (March 19, 2024)

[mtreebeardiles]

Honestly, with all the tradwife cooking trash circulating, it only makes me love B Dylan Hollis more for baking vintage recipes while being openly gay, making sexual jokes, and screaming at the ingredients. He's the antithesis of every soft-spoken cishet woman cooking for her husband and children. You don't have to be an idyllic cottagecore housewife to cook.

[mtreebeardiles]

😃😑

[mtreebeardiles]

- V, i'm just... i'm just scared for ya...

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[mtreebeardiles]

why the FUCK are weekends only 2 days long do you really think that's enough to recover from the horrors of the work week. really.

[mtreebeardiles]

Portrait 20/30 - Dr. Chakwas (Mass Effect)

[mtreebeardiles]

my favorite madney scenes: [22/?] ⇢ Seize the Day, 3.11

[mtreebeardiles]

reblog if you’re a lesbian who supports bi girls, a bi girl who supports lesbians, or if you want all wlw to have a nice day

[mtreebeardiles]

Bit telling that for years and years evangelical religious extremists have been allowed on university campuses with their bullhorns and horrific imagery where they harass students into physical altercations and when students complain to the university’s administration they just shrug their shoulders citing freedom of speech but when those same tuition-paying students start protesting against war and genocide they call SWAT

[mtreebeardiles]

[mtreebeardiles]

A significant amount of my opinions about modern queer television are influenced by researching older queer media.

I see a lot of the same vitriol in modern queer fandom discourse that has been playing out in queer spaces since film and television were invented. Shows in the 70s started making steps toward sensitivity consulting in queer media, even as the networks fought them on it. Imperfect but earnest queer representation was met with aggressive protests by homophobes and queer people who thought it wasn't good enough. The argument over good representation vs no representation has been happening for decades and decades.

You spend enough time immersed in old queer media and you really start to vibe with Harvey Fierstein's words in The Celluloid Closet documentary. Or at least, I do.

Harvey Fierstein: "I liked the sissy. Is it used in negative ways? Yeah, but, my view has always been visibility at any cost."

The way I see it, the way to genuine, loving queer representation that showcases a vast array of experiences is to stop demanding perfection. The fewer queer stories that are allowed to exist, the more of the heavy lifting those stories have to do in the representation department.

When we have numerous queer stories, it's suddenly much less important to argue over whether the queer characters in question are "good" or "positive." They can just be queer characters who exist in the same infinite variety as straight characters. They can be messy, they can be flawed, they can be honest portrayals of the complexity of human existence.

Queer representation will never be perfect, and striving for perfection is how we shoot ourselves in the foot.

Some starter reading for those interested:

Alternate Channels: Queer Images on 20th-Century TV (revised edition) - Steven Capsuto

Hi Honey, I'm Homo!: Sitcoms, Specials, and the Queering of American Culture - Matt Baume

The Celluloid Closet: Homosexuality in the Movies - Vito Russo

[mtreebeardiles]

Ahhhhhhh i love all your screenshots of your ocs! They all deserve a good forehead smooch and a warm blanket. So many cuties!!! 🥰

🥰

Thanks! One of these days I might even write something for them lol

[mtreebeardiles]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[mtreebeardiles]

FAVORITE 9-1-1 HAIRSTYLES ↳ buck in 4.12 • treasure hunt

[mtreebeardiles]

#Buck is really fighting for every kid he will ever see because it's everything he wanted as a kid but didn't get from his parents