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work kicked my ass and I finally got to rereading this entirely- I love venus so much, and I genuinely would love to read more about her dynamics w the squad 🥹💛🤲🏽

Gin & Tonics (and Parking Spots)

Summary: In which Venus finally meets the infamous Dagger Squad. The fourth installment of the Parking Spots universe

Warnings: Language, Venus being Venus, Jake being lovesick, suggestive language, Venus has an actual name but it's only used twice

A sea of khaki that reeked of testosterone everywhere one turned.

It was Venus' worst nightmare.

She made her way past the crowd of people, avoiding the stares. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know she stuck out like a sore thumb. A "civilian" is what Jake called it.

Apparently "not a soldier" was too simple for the military. And "wasn't coerced by a recruiter to sell my soul to the US government" was too long.

"If you get there before me or Javy, just sit by Penny. She's the owner. You'll like her a lot."

Venus rolled her eyes at her fiancé, "I like anyone who can make a good drink, Jake."

Jake smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, “Y’know what I mean. She’ll look out for you.”

“What can I get you my dear?” Venus looked up to find an older woman behind the bar.

Her green eyes looked kind. She suddenly understood what Jake meant.

“I’ll just take a gin and tonic,” She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to appear indifferent, undeterred by the borderline lewd stares. When getting ready, she thought the yellow dress would be a great choice for meeting Jake’s friends. Not too formal, not too informal. It was flattering, but not too revealing. She even put thought into her hair, opting to style it in waves rather than the natural curls that Jake adored.

“You wore that on our first date,” Jake said softly, a smile gracing his face.

She lowered the hanger in surprise, “You remember that?”

“Of course,” he reached a hand out to cup one side of her sweet face, “How could I forget?”

She didn’t account for the fact she would be alone for a bit. No, she was far too busy freaking out about meeting her fiance’s friends for the first time.

Fuck.

“They’re gonna love you V.”

Perhaps if she had some experience of being in a serious relationship and meeting their friends, anxiety wouldn’t be coursing through her body. She had met a few friends of the person she was dating before, but it was usually at a party where after introductions, she was left alone to her own devices.

The idea that someone would want to introduce her to other parts of their life, to become a part of them, was new. That they thought she was important enough to do so. Family? Sure. That was a given. But friends? The people you willingly chose to spend time with?

A whole different ballpark. Though in this case, perhaps turmac was more fitting.

“Since you’re new, I’m going to need to see your ID hun,” The woman, presumably Penny, said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Of course," She held her head high as pulled her driver's license from her wallet, ignoring the stares, trying to play off her hands shaking.

If they wanted her to move, they could fucking ask.

The bartender, who had to be Penny, looked at the ID, a soft smile forming, “Well Danica, I can see why Jake calls you Venus.”

“You…. know who I am?” Great, there was already a preconceived idea of who she was. Before she even had a chance, her fate was sealed.

What was she known as? The girl who yelled at Jake in a parking lot? The girl who threw bread rolls at him?

Penny continued to smile, “Of course! Jake is always excited to show me the latest picture he’s taken of you. The flowers you two got from the farmer’s market are beautiful by the way.”

Heat rushed to her face while recalling last weekend’s adventures. Jake insisted on taking her picture by the flower stand. It was strange at first-still was-how his Instagram that had once been only thirst traps workout pictures were now full of her and their adventures together.

As much fun as it was going through the older posts and giving him hell about it, she loved looking at the newer photos, the ones that showed their journey together.

“He’s a good photographer, I’ll give him that,” A small smile began to form on Venus' face, her shoulders visibly relaxing.

“Don’t give him too much. He needs to be kept on his toes,” Penny laughed in agreement, “I’m Penny by the way. So where is the man of the hour?"

Penny handed her a gin and tonic as she explained, "Had a last minute meeting with Simpson. He should be coming soon, as is the rest of the squad from my understanding."

Penny raised an eyebrow, "So you finally get to meet them! They have been dying to meet you. Been asking Jake about it for months."

The grip on her drink tightened.

Jake had a reputation. And with that reputation, came preconceived notions of what kind of girl he would date.

Venus was not what people thought of when it came to Jake's ideal type. While his family adored her, they all admitted they were surprised when Jake first called to tell them about the woman he met in a parking lot. Hell, even her family was surprised when she described him. They still adored him, loved him, and insisted on serving a traditionally prepared lechon at the engagement party.

But friends were a whole different breed. One willingly chose to spend time with them. Friends were honest, and more often than not, their opinion was highly valued.

She had learned that the hard way.

"I mean, she's nice but do you see it going anywhere? I don't."

"She's really not your type, man."

"She's kind of a bitch."

A soft hand gently laid on top of hers, breaking Venus out of her thoughts. Was it motherly instinct or was her anxiety that plainly written across her face?

She found Penny smiling, "They're so excited to meet you. They already adore you and ask about you constantly."

They were looking forward to meeting you, she repeated in her head. That means they want to meet you. Adore is such a specific word, Penny wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true.

She clung onto Penny's words. They were nuggets of truth, a shield against the negative thoughts that clouded her brain. The evidence that those shitty experiences were in the past, that the situation she was in now was entirely different, was better.

Her therapist would be so proud.

A more relaxed, genuine smile appeared on Venus’ face, the first one she could recall occurring since pulling into the parking lot of the Hard Deck.

“I look forward to meeting everyone. I’ll take another gin and tonic when you get a chance!”

“I got it covered Penny,” a smooth voice said. She turned around, half expecting (moreso hoping) to see Jake, despite the lack of Texan drawl.

When she turned around, there was no tall blonde with sparkling emerald green eyes and a smile so white, she could see it from outer space.

Instead, a Hawaiin shirt so ugly that no Dad at a BBQ would go near greeted her.

Her lips formed a tight line, her eyes narrowing. It was the same look she wore when dealing with annoying patients or annoying men.

“Welcome to the Hard Deck,” The man said with a wink. His eyes were nice, but the caterpillar that occupied the space between his nose and upper lip was what she noticed first.

She recognized him immediately. Jake had given her plenty of information so she could recognize members of the dagger squad.

Bold of him to assume she would just go up to them. But maybe she could have some fun with this.

Penny gave her a look, one that silently asked Should I tell him? Venus just shook her head, turning back to face the infamous Bradley Bradshaw.

“How do you know it’s my first time?” She asked coyly with a raised eyebrow before bringing the drink back to her lips.

“With a face like that? I wouldn't be able to forget ya." Did he also get his pickup lines from the eighties, in addition to his shirts?

Bradlet leaned against the railing of the bar, bending slightly so they were at eye level, “So what brings you here? Besides fate.”

Her eyes could not roll any harder. How many more lines would it take before he started singing Jerry Lewis?

“Well, after hearing about it so much, I just had to see the mustache in person,” She responded, moving her drink to her left hand.

If there had to be a sound that best represented Bradley’s face, it was a record scratch. The best he could respond with was a very confused “Excuse me?”

“I’ll give you credit, you pull off the look pretty well, despite it consisting of a pornstache and clothes from the part of the eighties that even Stranger Things won’t touch.”

“It’s not….it’s not a pornstache.”

A darked haired woman clad in a khaki uniform nearby snorted.

Venus grinned, “It is absolutely a pornstache. But some people are into that. I don’t get it, but good for you Rooster.”

Bradley's eyes knitted together in confusion,“Do I…..do I know you?”

"I would hope you know of me. According to Javy, Jake talks about me a lot. Anyways, we should become best friends. Jake’s reaction will be hilarious.”

It was then Bradley finally looked down, seeing the huge emerald ring on her left hand.

And that's when it hit Bradley Bradshaw like a fucking train.

"You're Venus?!"

It was much louder than she would have liked, the statement causing several people to look at her with curious stares.

Just play it cool, they all work for the military, you actually do important shit, she told herself over and over again.

“In the flesh!" She flashed a smile before taking a huge sip of her drink, trying to ignore the fact that another pilot was now approaching her.

She was going to need another drink to get through this.

"You're Hangman's girl? The one who told him to fuck off when you first met him?"The dark haired woman asked, practically shoving Bradley out of the way.

The infamous Venus shrugged, "I didn't exactly tell him to fuck off. I told him it made no sense why he could fly million-dollar jets but was a shit driver. Phoenix?"

Natasha nodded, “Glad he’s no longer hiding you. I’ve been telling him to bring you around ever since he arrived late to a debriefing with hearts in his eyes as he talked about a woman who referred to him as Hangnail.”

The comment brough relief. At least one person liked her, at least one person wanted to get to know her.

Natasha grabbed her arm, “Come on. The rest of the gang is going to lose their minds when they learn you’re finally here.”

Through the throngs of pilots, Natasha led her to a table filled with other men who all looked vaguely familiar. The tight lipped smile remained on her face as she straightened her shoulders, ready to face the (multiple) men of the hour.

“Hey guys, guess who I met?”

“V! You made it!” Before she could say anything, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist, picking her up.

“Javy, I swear to God if you don’t put me down-” She couldn’t help but laugh. Just like with Jake, Javy had become the older brother Venus never knew she wanted.

Knowing Javy would be there was what made her feel comfortable enough to arrive without Jake. Winning over your fiancé's best friend was quite the confidence boost.

Maybe it was the fact he actually made an effort to get to know her. Maybe it was the fact he took all her digs about the Saints in stride. But with Jake, the three of them had become a trio and she didn't mind at all.

"Hey guys! This is Danica! Aka Venus, aka the one who got Jake to settle down!"

"You really know how to build suspense Coyote," Nat deadpanned before taking a seat next to Bob. Javy lowered her down, her feet returning to the ground.

"You're Venus? The one he proposed to after eight months of dating?" A man with shining brown eyes and energy that could best be described as a golden retriever asked.

Her features softened as she looked down at her emerald ring, "When you know, you know. I also take it you're Mickey?"

"Wow, I guess Hangman talks about us more than we thought," Mickey joked, earning the chuckles from others.

She looked back up, that signature smirk having returned, "We're also having a long engagement, that was my compromise."

"That's not what he said," Phoenix scoffed, recalling the different potential venues Jake had already shown her.

She continued fidgeting with her engagement ring. It wasn’t a matter of Venus being unfamiliar to having all eyes on her. But with Jake's friends, it was different. Another layer of being official that she wasn’t used to.

"Well, you deserve all the drinks for being able to put up with Bagman,” Mickey commented, as if he sensed her nerves.

“Bagman?” she asked, a mischievous glint forming in her big eyes.

"It's what we call him when we feel he hasn't earned being called his proper name, which I'm sure as you know, is most of the time," A man with glasses and a thin lopsided smile that was sweeter than sugar explained.

Her eyes light up, "Oh, I am definitely using that. Also, are you Bob?"

Without waiting for an answer, she walked over to the bespectacled WSO, “You’re so cute! I’m adopting you.” For added effect, she placed a hand on each of Bob’s cheeks.

“Does that mean Bagman is my dad?" Bob asked with an almost grimace.

"Yeah, but I'll make sure he chills out," She reassured him with a soft smile.

“Wait, she’s actually nice?” Reuben whispered to Natasha and Bradley, “The way Jake describes her-”

“Look, if she can find redeemable qualities in Bagman of all people, she must have a lot going for her,” Natasha interjected.

As time passed, Venus found herself more and more at ease with the group. Despite having heard so much, they still took the time to ask questions, to get to know her. They wouldn’t only talk about Jake (not that she wanted them to), and they actually tried to include her in the conversation, despite her lack of knowledge about their field.

It was different. It was nice.

Once drinks got low, Venus offered to go get the next round. Bradley followed her, still apologizing for the flirting earlier.

She chuckled, “It’s totally fine. In fact, I think it’s hilarious that you and Bagman have a similar type,” Her eyes narrowed, “Which by the way, I know plenty of cute, spitfire nurses who are single.”

Bradley’s face turned bright red, “I’m uh-I don’t need any help with-”

“Look, I already plan to find Bob's future wife, might as well find yours while I’m at it. There are people out there who are into what you call a mustache,” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t get it, but I’m willing to find them for you.”

It was the way she mixed sweetness with snark that confused Bradley, as well as everyone else.

“Can I ask you something?” Bradley finally asked.

“I’m not going to tell you his dick size,” A devious smirk adorned her face, causing her to resemble the image the squad had conjured in their minds when Jake first told them how the ‘future Mrs. Seresin’ referred to him as a knockoff Ken doll.

“That’s not what-”

“But I will say-”

“Please don’t.”

“You could have named him Hungman and it still would have been accurate.”

“I really, really don’t need to hear this.” Bradley’s face was now bright red, whereas the woman next to him casually ordered the next round of beers and a lemon seltzer for Bob with a grin on her face.

“You’re telling me the men in the navy don’t talk about their dick sizes? Least of all, the person whose call sign means cock?”

“It’s a bird-”

“That also means cock.”

Bradley stared at her, quite frankly afraid that if he said another word, he'd have to hear about Hangman’s dick.

She stared right back, able to hold off the impromptu staring contest for a few moments before erupting into a fit of giggles.

When Jake first rambled on about the beautiful woman he had met at a coffee shop, who he insisted was his future wife, Bradley (and everyone else) thought the blonde pilot had lost his damn mind.

But after seeing her truly smile, Bradley could understand why Jake became so smitten.

“How….do you two work?” It was an honest question. Javy asked the same thing the first time he went out with you and Jake. She even wondered about it herself when they first got together.

She shrugged, fingers fiddling with Jake’s class ring that was on a silver chain around her neck, “We just….do. He calms me down. I remind him sometimes it’s better to be quiet and just listen. We both make each other smile and laugh. It’s nice. More than nice. It’s wonderful.”

Bradley noticed what she was fiddling with, "So that’s where it went.”

“He has a ring of mine that he wears with his dog tags. We traded before he went on deployment.” She shrugged again, as if to suggest it wasn’t a big deal.

The soft smile on her face suggested the exact opposite.

Bradley grinned, “Do you know he also wears one of your hair ties around his wrist?”

Her smile only continued to grow, "He says the more pieces he has of me on him, the luckier he is in the sky."

Truthfully, Venus wasn't sure what to expect when she began dating Jake. Certainly not him being such a romantic. It was strange at first. Why would someone go through so much effort to bring flowers, to make dinner reservations, to plan dates when they already had you?

When Jake scoffed at the very idea of not needing to impress it was the first time she truly reflected on previous relationships and just how shitty they were.

"Baby, they were awful," Jake pressed a chaste kiss to her shoulder, "You deserve so much more than what you've gotten."

A hand on your shoulder broke you out of your thoughts.

"I think I just saw that Jeep Wrangler you love so much just pulled up," Natasha teased.

She rolled your eyes, despite a small smile remaining as you shook your head, "I hate that fucking car."

"I'm glad someone else agr-"

"Bradshaw, don't get me started on your car choices." Her eyes narrowed as she shot him a look.

Only she got to insult that hideous car.

Bradley promptly closed his mouth, not wanting to face her infamous wrath.

He was still reeling from the Pornstache comment.

So instead, he simply helped her carry the round of drinks back to the rest of the squad.

"So Venus, what does the woman who made Jake Seresin lovesick do?" Payback asked.

"I'm a level three neonatal nurse at the local hospital," she explained, "Which is partly why it's been so hard to meet y'all. My schedule can be pretty irregular."

The table was quiet as they processed this new piece of information. When they first heard about her, they couldn't help but imagine a cutthroat business woman, a manager, a consultant.

Not a nurse. Particularly one who dealt with children.

"So you um, you-"

She set her glass down with force, "I do not play with babies and change diapers all day. My job is to keep premature babies alive and ensure they're able to go home with their family and live as healthy of a life as possible."

Her voice was tense, no doubt due to past dismissive comments regarding her job.

Bob shifted closer to her, "I think that's amazing. One of my sister's kids was born at 28 weeks and she still swears to this day that if it weren't for y'all, she would not have been able to keep it together."

Her shoulders visibly relaxed as a smile formed on her face, "I like you Bob. I'm going to keep you."

Mickey spoke up, "Hey, wait a second. My girlfriend Cielo and I have already put in a request to adopt Bob."

She put an arm around Bob's shoulder, shaking her head, "Nah, I call dibs."

"We knew him first!" If one didn’t see the gleam of playfulness that laced Mickey’s amber eyes, his tone would sound completely defensive.

Bob finally spoke up, "Just a friendly reminder that I'm thirty one years old."

She turned to the soft spoken WSO, "Which is why I am determined to find you your Missus."

"Get in line, Cielo and I have been working on that."

Natasha snorted, "We've all been working on that."

Bob signed, putting a palm to his face.

"Hey V, I think your man just walked in." Maybe it was fate, maybe the universe took pity on Bob.

But when Venus looked up upon hearing Reuben's words, her heart skipped a beat.

There he was.

Jake was over at the bar, waiting for Penny to take notice of him. No doubt ordering gin and tonic, along with a basket of fries for Venus. He always made sure she had something to snack on.

"Wanna see something?" She asked the gang.

Without waiting, she put two fingers to her mouth, a loud whistle coming out. The noise caught the attention of several people, including a blonde man with eyes greener than the emerald that adorned her engagement ring.

When Jake's eyes met hers, her heart skipped a beat. His eyes lit up, a smile overtaking his face.

"Hi loverboy," she called out with a wave. Oh she tried to smirk, try to play it off as if she was indifferent to the sight of her fiancé.

But Danica's eyes told a different story.

"Venus!" Jake called out, getting even more attention. Not that he noticed. He was too busy practically shoving folks out of the way to get to the table.

Maybe she picked up her pace to meet Jake. Maybe Jake knocked a drink over as his hands placed themselves underneath her thighs, allowing him to pick her up in one swoop.

It’s not like either of them were paying attention.

—-----------------------------------------

To say Jake Seresin was annoyed was an understatement.

His day had started out so well. He got to wake up not on base in a small, old twin bed, but instead in the arms of his fiancé.

Then he had to go to work.

Jake loved his job. He was damn good at it- one of the best, in fact. He enjoyed being at work, which was something many couldn't say.

But not when his job caused him to be late, unable to be with the woman he loved, especially on a night where she needed him the most.

Normally, she would have already met his friends before Jake proposed to her. But thanks to the nature of his job, which involved spur-of-the-moment missions, he had done things a bit backwards.

If it weren't for the nature of his job, Venus could have met the squad back when she only had the title of girlfriend.

Sure, she still would have put pressure on herself, as was in her nature. But decidedly less pressure.

Jake wanted to be there for her, to reassure her that she was in fact, the most incredible person he had ever met and that his friends would see that immediately. To put a hand on her shoulder whenever he saw that smile begin to fade, self doubt creeping into her mind.

Which was why he was all but running into the Hard Deck. His meeting with Cyclone lasted much longer than intended. Normally Jake wasn’t super concerned about showing up late to the Hard Deck, but today was the worst day it could happen.

Deep in his heart, he knew she would be just fine. At worst, she wouldn’t approach the squad until Javy arrived and would stick by Penny.

Jake just wanted her to feel comfortable, to feel at ease. He wanted to support her, like any decent husband would.

So yeah, maybe he was taking advantage of his status, knowing that no one would say anything if he pushed past them without a single excuse me. Jake knew his great grandmother was rolling in her grave, but he hoped Mimi would understand all in due time.

“Hey Penny, have you happened to see an absolute goddess with an affinity for gin and tonics?” Jake asked once he arrived at the front of the bar, ignoring the glares.

Penny simply smiled, "I think your friends found her. She was also pretty low on her beverage last time I saw her."

"Well, we can't have that. I'll take a Miller Light, along with a Gin and tonic with a basket of fries." Jake recalled that she had texted him around two that she was on her lunch break. He doubted she had much time, if any, to eat when she got home from work.

Order fries first, then find the love of his life.

If only the bar wasn't slammed.

He was trying his best not to be impatient. It wasn't Penny's fault, the Hard Deck was always like this when a new class arrived to base.

But damn was it frustrating. The minutes seemed to tick away. Jake looked around, unable to spot his fiancé amidst the sea of khaki.

Until he heard that whistle.

He looked around, Bradshaw finally moving his bigass head to reveal the person that made his heart soar.

She was sitting with the rest of the gang, smiling. She looked at ease, as if she had always been a part of this crew.

Jake knew this was possible, that she had it in herself to open up and connect, rather than sit at the bar and wait for him to come.

But sometimes she forgets that she can.

So when Jake doesn't need to remind her, he can't help but beam.

"Hi loverboy!" His heart fluttered when she sent him a wink, along with her smirk that he fell in love with the first time he saw (it also made him hard but that's neither here nor there).

So yes, he did gently push some people out of the way to get to the table. And he did knock a drink over when he went to pick her up. But in Jake's defense, he hadn't seen her since seven-thirty in the morning and it was only Bradley's drink.

"Hi baby," He said as he pressed his lips to her cheek.

She rolled her eyes, though the smile still remained on her face, "You act like you haven't seen me in forever."

"Because I haven't," Jake murmured against her skin, "It's been ten hours."

"Ten hours?" She repeated, her tone teasing, "You're incorrigible."

"I don't know what that means, but thanks V," He said before pressing his lips against hers.

Before Jake, she wasn't used to PDA. It wasn't a matter of not desiring it, she did. But none of her past relationships were into it, so it wasn't something she pursued.

And then she met Jake. Jake, who would just grab her hand without saying anything. Jake, whose natural inclination was to wrap his arms around her. Jake, who would make the effort to kiss her, even if he was just passing by to get a drink or to unload the dishwasher.

She liked it. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as his lips moved to her nose, then forehead.

"Can you put me down? You're looking a little desperate GI Joe," She teased, quickly placing a chaste kiss on his jawline.

"You like it," He whispered in her ear, gently setting her back down.

"Debatable," She rolled her eyes, trying to fight back a smile as Jake pressed another kiss against her cheek.

"Debatable?" He questioned, "The ring on your left hand says otherwise sweetheart."

Venus looked down at the ring, "I guess."

"You guess?" Jake hummed, his arms now wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on top of her head.

The noise and chatter of the Hard Deck slipped away when she looked up, meeting his emerald eyes. She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back a lovesick smile.

It was no use, as it came out anyway.

"Oh my God they're adorable," Bradley whispered to Natasha, stunned.

"What the hell is happening?" Natasha whispered back, equally as stunned.

"I think they're…in love?" Mickey didn't sound too sure of himself, if at all.

"Of course they are, is it not obvious?" Bob practically scoffed.

"Careful," Natasha teased, elbowing Bob playfully, "Think she still wants to adopt you. Remember who your dad would be."

—------

The rest of the night wasn't anything unusual, save for Natasha, Bradley, Mickey, and Bob asking Venus questions while Jake, Javy, and Reuben played a round of pool.

"So he listens when you tell him to shut up? Like deadass?" Mickey asked.

She raised an eyebrow, "He listens to me regardless of what I say."

"I don't believe it," Bradley started, "We can barely get him to listen to us and-"

"Hey Jake?" Venus called out, remaining in her seat.

Jake looked up from the angling his pool cue, his eyes lightening up when they met hers, "What's up darling?"

"Do you think Sammy and Jess deserved to win Love Island?" Bradley couldn't help but scoff at Venus' question, there was no way-

"Jess did, because she had the best personality of that season and was actually likable. She would have won regardless of who she coupled up with," Jake explained as he briefly looked back to his aim, "Unfortunately she was stuck on Sammy, who did not deserve to win, dude's a fuckboy if I've ever seen one. Is your drink empty?"

The squad wasn't sure what was more shocking, the fact Jake had been able to make a perfect shot without looking again, or how focused he was on another person's needs.

Venus, oblivious to this confusion, raised her empty drink, "I am! Can you get me another gin and tonic please?"

Jake immediately set his pool stick down, ignoring the confused cries of Javy and Reuben as he went to Venus to give her a kiss on the cheek and pick up her glass.

"What did you just do?" Mickey asked as soon as Jake headed over to the bar.

Venus shrugged, "I asked him for another drink. I got his last drink, it's only fair."

"But he was in a middle of a game-"

"The less you think about it, the less confused you'll be," Javy explained, cutting off Reuben.

Javy had long since learned that Jake's focus was now all things Venus. He was pretty sure once Venus became pregnant, she would be able to pry Jake away from a Texas football game.

"How do you get him to listen to you?" Bradley asked, stunned.

"I love her," Jake scoffed because wasn't it obvious? The only people who didn't seem confused by all this were Javy and Bob.

Jake now understood why Venus wanted to adopt the bespectacled WSO.

"So what are we? Chopped liver?" Natasha remarked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

"He just loves y'all a little less," Venus teased, taking her drink from Jake's hands.

Bradley scoffed, "Dude, I was your bunkmate."

"Yeah but did you give him blowjobs frequently?" Venus asked, unaffected by the number of aviators who nearly choked on their drinks. Jake could feel the tops of cheek heat up.

"Well, depended on-" Bradley started, much to the delightful shrieks of Natasha, Javy, and Reuben.

"Alright, it's time for us to go pick a new song," Jake stated loudly, practically pushing his fiancé to the jukebox.

"You're finishing that story later!" Venus called out, pointing to Bradley.

"Only if you convince him not to play Free Rider!" Bradley called back.

Jake dragged away his fiancé, who was now laughing at the antics of his coworkers.

He couldn't help but smile at the sight. She was beautiful like this; eyes squinting, cheeks round as she smiled, skin glowing, not having a care in the world.

Jake would do anything to keep that smile on her face.

"I get to pick," She said, taking the quarter out of Jake's hand.

"Why do you get to pick?" Jake teased before placing a kiss against her temple.

"Because it's my first time here," she started, because wasn't it obvious? "Plus, I want Bradshaw to finish the story."

"You're really about to give Bradshaw what he wants?" Jake put his hand over his heart, "V, that's the most offensive thing you've said to me."

Venus simply raised an eyebrow as she scoffed, "That's the most offensive thing I've said to you? Compared to all the other stuff? Compared to what I said when we first met?"

"I thought it was charming," Jake was completely sincere, which Venus didn't know if she should find that cute or concerning.

"I think you liked being called a Ken doll," she muttered, looking through the list of songs.

Jake wrapped his arms around her waist, nestling his head on her shoulder, "I liked the woman who called me a Ken doll. So much so, I plan to marry her."

Her teeth tugged her bottom lip, a tall-tale sign that she was flustered. She didn't blush, but Jake had learned the signs; she would bite her lip, her lashes would flutter. Her hand that wasn't pressing buttons on the jukebox drummed against the machine, looking for something to do.

"I love you," he whispered. The declaration made her head turn, allowing Jake to steal a kiss.

"Could have just asked."

"Where's the fun in that?" He pressed his lips against a heated cheek, leaving tiny kisses.

Her eyes softened upon looking up at Jake, "How did the meeting go?"

He squeezed the soft flesh of her hip, "Cyclone thinks I have a decent shot at the instructor position. And that I would be a good fit."

The statement caused her eyes to light up. Jake could see that she was trying to hold herself back, trying not to get her hopes up.

"So he'll write you a letter of recommendation?"

He grinned, showing off his pristinely (and blindingly) white teeth, "Him and Mav."

"We stan a short king." She said it half in jest, purely to see Jake's brows knit together in confusion, the five year age difference showing.

"Is that a Tik Tok reference?"

She stifled a giggle as she shook her head, "No. But you're getting there!"

"You make me feel so old," Jake sighed. He thought he was doing so well, until Venus informed him that Instagram reels were just Tik Tok videos shown two weeks later.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, "So you think you have a shot at it? The position?"

Before meeting her, Jake would have scoffed at the suggestion he wouldn't get something. He knows who he is, what he's capable of.

But he doesn't want to let her down. To disappoint her. They both know what this position would entail; permanence. Not having to be deployed on missions. Not having to be away from her for months at a time. The ability to settle down with her.

"I think so. Cyclone says I have the track record to prove I know the material and I now have the temperance to show I can teach it well."

She grinned, "that's the most polite way to say you're no longer a cocky asshole."

Jake wiggled his eyebrows, eliciting another soft giggle from her.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? If you get the position?" She asked, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to hide her nerves.

When Jake first brought up the idea of applying to the instructor position, she thought he was joking. Why would someone give up the chance to travel around the world, playing the role of a real life superhero?

But then he kept bringing it up, announcing he was going to apply. When questioned, Jake said it was simple.

"Getting that job means I get to stay here, with you."

That's what he said then and it's what he said now.

"Besides," he added, "the chances of me becoming an ace are low. I'm more than happy to be the only one with two confirmed kills in my generation."

Venus' eyes narrowed at him and without breaking eye contact, she pressed a button on the Jukebox.

The notes of Queen's I Want to Break Free filled the Hard Deck, which was followed by the sounds of the squad clapping and thanking Venus.

"Babe!" Jake nearly whined, putting his hand on his heart, "Really?!"

"Oh please, you absolutely deserve that." Venus stated before walking towards the bar.

Jake all but ran after her, grabbing her closest hand.

"So is now a bad time to tell you that today I parked within the lines?"

Venus stopped, her eyes slowly turning towards her fiancé, "Both lines?"

Jake nodded, a proud, albeit cocky smirk adorning his face.

She took a step forward, her face now inches apart from Jake's.

"You know," her voice was low, "If you want me to fuck you, you can just ask."

Jake visibly gulped, the smirk fading as heat rushed to his face, "I mean I, uh, I always want you to-"

"Did you take a picture of it? Your parking job?" She rested her chin on Jake's head, wrapping her arms around his waist. To others, the gesture was very sweet.

But Jake could see the desire in her eyes and it was making his knees weak.

"It's um, how I parked outside of here-"

"I want to see it. And then I want to go home and fuck you," with that, she was walking towards the door, her fingers hooking themselves around one of Jake's belt loops to ensure he followed.

Not that he needed encouragement, he was already trailing right behind her.

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multiverseprincess · 11 hours

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reblogging kyunki true hai 😗

no matter the struggles there is always ao3 in bed

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multiverseprincess · 22 hours

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no matter the struggles there is always ao3 in bed

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multiverseprincess · 22 hours

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multiverseprincess · 2 days

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pluto dom and oof 😗🤲🏽

A lot of people romanticise Pluto stuff, until they experience Pluto stuff

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multiverseprincess · 4 days

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I'm sick rn, need me a dude like this

Pad See Ew and Parking Spots

The last thing you need while sick is the equivalent of a Hangnail over…..or is it?

Another entry to the Parking Spots Universe read part 1 and part 2!

Warnings: Banter, teasing, Jake being an absolute simp, no y/n but reader’s nickname is Venus

Your head felt like someone had filled it with cotton and was pressing down. Stuffed and fuzzy, the pressure on your sinuses made turning your head a labor of work.

The constant pressure on your face made it impossible to enjoy the unexpected time off from work, as watching TV was too strenuous.

Instead, you put yourself on bed rest, trying to find a comfortable spot so you could close your eyes and nap.

Just when sleep was within reach, the loud vibrations of your phone ringing pulled you out of your moment of peace.

Pushing away the used tissues and weighted blankets, you found your phone, the name of the caller lighting up.

Human Hangover.

Keep reading

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multiverseprincess · 4 days

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an i love venus so fkn much 🥰🤲🏽

Filet Mignons and Parking Spots

Summary: Against your better judgement, you agree to have dinner with the human equivalent of a Hangnail, aka Jake Seresin. A follow up to Matcha Lattes & Parking Spots!

Warnings: Language, lots of banter, Jake getting turned on by women who are mean to him.

Part 3 is up!

This was ridiculous. Absurdly so.

He clearly wasn't taking you to dinner because he actually wanted to learn how to park better. He was hoping he could win you over with that small town billboard dentist ad-smile and be allowed into your pants.

Which wasn't happening. No way in hell was he coming near you.

You refused to give him your address. Like hell he was going to learn where you live.

You: I've listened to way too many true crime podcasts to give you my address. You've already shown signs of being a psychopath with how you got a Matcha latte with zero sweetener.

Hangnail: ooo what's your fav podcast? :) :)

You couldn't tell what was more annoying: his insufferable overall being or the fact he responded to every insult with a question whose goal was to learn more about you.

Like he actually wanted to get to know you.

As your grandmother would say, "His cornbread ain't done all the way in the middle."

And yet, here you were, outside the restaurant, waiting to see if this douchebag could show up on time. You didn't have high hopes, considering his parking skills.

"Hey gorgeous."

Fuck, right on the dot.

Your lips couldn't help but part when you turned around and saw the bouquet in his hands.

He brought flowers. The red roses popped against the anemones and white narcissuses. A yellow satin ribbon wrapped around the stems.

"Figured the goddess of love deserved some gorgeous flowers," He grinned.

You wanted to gag.

"You're supposed to take them." You couldn't decide what was worse: that stupid, nearly blindingly white grin or the Texan accent that laced his words.

You hesitantly took the flowers. They were pretty. But they were also given to you by a dude who couldn't park.

And who drank skim milk.

"They're the flowers associated with Venus, the goddess of love," He said. He looked so proud of himself, you could see him dying to pat himself on the back.

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, I also had a Percy Jackson phase and went on Wikipedia to look up what was associated with each God. Also, these flowers are associated with Aphrodite, not Venus."

The living embodiment of a graduated frat bro shrugged, undeterred from your comment, "I mean, they're basically the same."

You took a step back, "No they are not….Jesus Christ, I have to teach you how to park and the difference between Roman and Greek Mythology?"

He just continued to smile, "Told ya I need that second date."

"You need someone to inspect that head of yours," you scoffed, trying to ignore that warm feeling swirling around your stomach as he opened the door to the restaurant for you.

The human hangover had the audacity to laugh at your comment, "My squad said the same thing today."

There wasn't going to be enough alcohol to get through this evening.

—------------------------

You were stunning, absolutely gorgeous. The soft lighting casted a soft glow across your face, highlighting your beautiful features.

Jake was surprised when you pulled out a marker and a sketchpad. You were keeping your word. You were committed.

He loved it.

"So your speed affects the angle you can pull your- are you even listening, Flyboy?"

"To you? Of course," The lovesick look that had taken over his face remained. It would be cute, if it wasn't so insufferable.

You scoffed, "Alright, then paraphrase it for me. You do know what that means, right?"

You looked ethereal as you stared up at him through your lashes. Your brows were raised to indicate your low hopes for him. The way your bottom lip slightly jutted out, forming the most adorable frustrated pout Jake had ever seen.

"Based on your calculated average of my speed, I need to decrease my that by about forty-five percent, which would put me at going thirty five and a half miles per hour. This would increase my adjustment time by," he moved his head back and forth as he paused, briefly counting, "....twelve seconds, which will allow me greater control of switching from a ninety degree angle to hundredth and twenty."

"You pulled that out of your ass," you deadpanned.

"Do the math if you don't believe me." Jake leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms as a smug grin spread across his face.

He didn't know why Javy was so worried. He was winning her over in no time.

"Wow," you looked up from your phone after toying with the calculator app on your phone, "You can do more than just count to one hundred and smile?"

"Darlin," he chuckled, "You don't become the only current generation aviator with two confirmed kills by coasting on good looks alone."

Boom. Stuck the landing. Jake was internally scoffing at Bradshaw's comments from earlier, about how he'd be lucky if he left this date with no wine thrown at his face.

Jake knew he'd have you falling for him in no time, especially after you learned exactly who you were with.

Your face remained the same, apart from a raised eyebrow, "Only two?"

The corners of your lips turn upward into a smirk as that cocky grin of his faltered.

"Within the first month at my last place, my cat brought me four mice and two birds. Just saying," you brought your wine glass to your lips, savoring the few moments of silence.

Jake was thankful he had put the napkin over his lap. It perfectly covered the semi he had been sporting since y'all sat down.

"Birds and mice are not the same thing as what I've done," he nearly huffed.

You grinned, shrugging your shoulders, "I think they're pretty comparable."

Jake huffed, "No they are…."

Oh.

You were trying to rattle him. On purpose. And it almost worked.

He loved it. It was fun, listening to your every word. The fact he actually had to try to see what impressed you. And boy, did he want to impress you.

"Um…are you two ready to order?" Your waiter asked. It wasn't the first time he had come in at an odd point in the conversation with zero context.

You were thankful, because it meant that you wouldn't have to deal with the Abercrombie and Fitch wannabe model's stupid stare. The one where his green eyes literally sparkle and a dreamy smile plastered his face.

"I'll take the hanger steak, medium rare, but with no caramelized onion butter and instead of the garlic mashed potatoes, I'll have the asparagus," you told them.

"I'll have the filet mignon-"

"You're at a steakhouse and you're ordering a filet mignon? The most basic steak?" You scoffed at him.

"Oh, so you're also a meat expert too?" Jake asked, his tone playful.

"My dad was a butcher. It's just soft, there's no other redeeming qualities about it. Ribeye or Hanger is better," you explained as you rolled your eyes.

"Alright, then I'll take the ribeye. Medium rare."

You weren't expecting him to actually listen to you. You were expecting a scoff, an eye roll, a comment about you being too smart, too obnoxious, too annoying.

As if he could sense your confusion, he elaborated, "You said your dad was a butcher. Makes you more than qualified to speak on which cut of steak is the best."

It was uncomfortable, how he hung on to your every word. How he remembered little details. When you mentioned earlier that you had walked to the restaurant, he asked what true crime podcast you listened to on your way here. The way he approached all of this like it was normal, like it was the expected thing to do.

"Also, I have mints, if you want them. No need to avoid great food."

"What the hell are you talking about, GI Joe wannabe?" That feeling of uneasiness began to morph into agitation.

"Look, Venus, you don't need to avoid garlic and onions. I got plenty of mints, so whenever you want to kiss me, just say the-"

A bread roll landing right between Jake's eyes interrupted him.

"I have IBS and avoid dairy so I don't spend the next two hours on the toilet, it has nothing to do with kissing you, you Chippendale reject!"

"So you think I'm attractive enough to be a Chippendale?" Was all Jake took from that conversation.

The second bread roll that landed against his nose made him process what you had actually said.

"So what do you eat when you're sick?"

You should have ordered an Old Fashion. Wine wasn't strong enough for this. You pressed the rim of the glass to your temple, hoping the pressure would be enough to wake you up from this nightmare.

"How did you go from me talking about avoiding dairy so I don't shit myself later, to that?" You would have thrown a third bread roll, but the look your waiter gave indicated you might get kicked out of the restaurant for it.

"It's an important question. Because you can't have Mac and Cheese, or pasta, or broccoli cheddar soup. So what do you eat when you're sick?" Jake repeated, unaffected by your comments.

He was quite impressed with your aiming skills. He imagined the two of you at the Hard Deck, laughing while you threw darts, a gold wedding band adorning your left hand-

"I mean, hard cheeses don't really bother me that much, it's pure cream and milk I really avoid," you shrugged, "Usually I order something with noodles and sauce, like Pad See Ew."

He tapped a finger against his chin, which you were pretty sure could crack a nut with.

"Good to know."

"Good to know?"

"Yeah, it's always good to know what someone likes to eat when they're sick." It was frustrating how you couldn't get a read on him. Was he truly being genuine or was just a dumbass? Or both?

You scoffed, "I don't know why, considering I don't plan on getting sick anytime soon."

"I hope not, I want to see you again sooner rather than later," He smiled, those darn dimples showing again, "but it's good to know for the future."

The future.

There were so many reasons to throw a bread roll at his stupid face. His heinous parking skills. His stupid callsign. The fact he kept insinuating that he would see you again.

It would have been easier if he was just a jerk who was looking to get into your pants. That's what you were used to. Folks who saw you as just another notch in their belt, not someone worthwhile enough to date.

Instead, he had an ego bigger than Texas, couldn't park to save his life and had questionable taste in caffeinated beverages.

“Y’know, I think I finally figured out who you look like,” you said before taking another sip of your wine.

Jake smiled before twirling that toothpick, which you really wished he'd stopped doing because it was extremely distracting.

"Oh really now?" He asked, a devilish smirk on his face.

"Yeah," a smirk of your own formed, "Pretty sure I saw your face in one of the stock images my college used for their responsible drinking course every freshmen had to take. You were the frat douche in the polo with a red solo cup, right?"

He laughed. Full on, threw his head back and laughed.

"You're fuckin' hilarious Venus. I could listen to you for hours," He told you after composing himself.

Fuck, he meant it.

You straighten your shoulders as you look across the restaurant, trying to seem as uninterested as possible, "Lucky for you, there's a lot about you I can critique. You just might get your wish, Officer Headache."

"It's Lieutenant," he corrected, though the smile remained on his face.

You put your hand over your heart, feigning guilt, "Forgive me, Lieutenant Headache."

Jake couldn't be mad. You were clever, seeing that he had picked his rank being more important than getting his call sign right.

He loved it, how clever you were, how witty you were. Talking to you was exhilarating, similar to how he felt when he was flying.

"So why did you join the Navy? Did being an Abercrombie model not work out?" You asked, taking a bite of your bread roll.

Jake chuckled as he shook his head, "Actually, I worked for Hollister."

"Wow, thanks for telling me you peaked in 2009."

"Oh, like you didn't have a less than desirable job in college?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

He was trying to egg you on, but you didn't mind. It was nice to see that he could do more than just give you heart eyes.

"I was a barista all through college because I had some dignity."

"So you are a coffee expert!" His sea green eyes lit up when he spoke. That, combined with how he pointed a finger at you, it was…cute.

Wait, what? No. He wasn't cute. He was annoying and cocky and insufferable and agitating.

He was so close. Jake almost got a smile out of you. You were warming up, he just had to be patient.

He most likely wouldn't get a kiss tonight. But that was fine, he could wait. He had a whole lifetime ahead of him.

"Guess so. Which, to me, means that I can continue to shit on your beverage choices," you shrugged.

"You say it like listening to you talk is a bad thing."

Usually it was for other folks. Why he was an exception was mind boggling.

"But long story short, when you join the Airforce, you get shipped out to the middle of nowhere. I already grew up with that, and wanted a change. The ocean was a getaway."

"Huh, I'm surprised. You can say something that's not completely insufferable."

He loved pleasing you. Jake made a mental note to text his mom later that she would soon get her desired daughter-in-law.

"I'm more than happy to keep surprising you Venus." You gagged.

Thankfully your food arrived before he could say any more. You made a mental note to give your waiter a generous tip.

The roasted asparagus looked amazing and you couldn't wait to take a bite out of-

"Wait! Don't eat that." You looked up at him, your fork inches away from your mouth.

"It has butter on it," Jake explained, causing your eyes to roll.

"I go here multiple times, it does not-"

"Excuse me! What is this roasted in?" Jake asked a nearby waiter, picking up your plate.

"Uh, ghee I believe?" Well, that explains why you always felt bloated after eating here.

Jake shook his head, pointing to you, "She's got a dairy allergy."

The waiter apologized, taking your plate away and assuring you that they'll bring something out quickly.

"Here, have some of mine while you wait." He moved his plate over to you.

"I'm not going to sleep with you," you blurted out. After all, that had to be why he wanted to play the hero, right? Lieutenant Headache could get fucked if he thought that was enough to allow him into your pants.

"I'm aware." He didn't sound broken up about it. Perhaps he already had a list of other girls he could call after your date ended.

"And that doesn't bother you?" You leaned back into your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. Your mind kept trying to think of his offensive driving skills and not the fact that no one had ever paid that close attention to your dietary restrictions before.

"I didn't do that in hopes it would let me into your pants. You said it made you uncomfortable. So….I don't want you to be uncomfortable," he smirked, "Besides, I can wait, Venus. Got a whole lifetime."

You scoffed, as this Great Value brand Captain America was unbelievable, "Is that your way to tell me that you plan to kidnap me or something?"

Jake grinned, "Nah. Just plannin' on marryin' ya."

"I think you need to get your head checked." He couldn't be serious. There was no fucking way.

Why would he? You were mouthy and sharp and loud and….he's had heart eyes ever since you first yelled at him in that fucking parking lot.

Oh God, maybe he was serious.

"Maybe you should learn how to park properly first before you think of marriage." You begrudgingly took a bite out of his steak, ignoring the soft smile that plastered his stupidly handsome face.

"More than happy to show what I've learned from you." You looked up. He was serious.

Which was how you found yourself sitting on the grass, watching the human Hangover show his newly learned parking skills.

"How was that?" He yelled, sticking his head out of his offensive Jeep.

You waltzed over, taking your time as you circled the perimeter of his car.

"You're awfully close to the line on the right," you observed.

Jake scoffed, "But I'm within the line."

"You ever tried to park when some asshat in a big car is nearly over the line? Oh wait," you paused, "you've been that asshat. Anyways, it's next to impossible. So you're still a dick when it comes to parking."

"So what you're saying….is I need more lessons?" Jake asked, leaning out the window of the driver seat.

He didn't want lessons. He just wanted another date with you. It was so obvious and-

"Definitely."

Regret hit you as soon as you saw how his eyes lit up and a wide smile spread across his face.

"So we're going on a second date?"

"It's not a date. You need lessons, that's all."

"Lessons….over dinner?" Jake was hopeful. You were reserved and he didn't blame you. But he could see cracks, a wall that was slowly but surely chipping away.

"I'm picking the restaurant as you've shown with your steak choices that you still can't be trusted. And no, you're not picking me up. The verdict is still out on whether you're a serial killer or not."

"Whatever you say, Venus." Jake made a mental note to tell Bradshaw and Phoenix to suck it tomorrow morning because he has gotten a second date with no wine thrown at him, just three bread rolls.

It was then he realized you had leaned forward and it was the closest he had ever been to you. He could see every mark on your skin, all the different shades of color in your eyes.

Man, he hoped y'all's kids would get your eyes.

You were mentally kicking yourself for allowing him to get so close. The smell of cedar wood was overwhelming, you wanted to gag. His face looked ridiculously smooth, aside from the light stubble that graced the lower half of his face.

And now you could see how his tongue and lips moved that damn toothpick, flipping it around effortlessly-

Nope, you had to get the fuck out of here. You were not about to get caught staring-

"See something ya like, Venus?" He asked, his voice low. Damn it, had he leaned in even more?

You took a deep breath before pursing your lips into a sickeningly sweet smile, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

"Yeah, I do…" you voice was breathy as you titled your head up, getting closer to his face. You smelled like cocoa butter and your chest was pushed up against the car door and crap, could see the bulge he was sporting in his lap?

Fuck you were inches away from his lips. Jake mentally scoffed at his squad, what the fuck were they worried about?

"A second free dinner. Please thank Uncle Sam for me next time you see him!" With that you walked away, leaving him hanging.

After taking a few steps, you looked back and couldn't help but giggle. He was in the same position, his eyes widening as he processed what you had done.

You were going to be the death of Jake Seresin.

He couldn't fucking wait.

And thanks to that fakeout, he could see your hands up close, confirming that a pear-shaped gemstone would look best on your left hand.

------------------------------------------------------

@abibliophobiaa @wildbornsiren @maxmayfield @hangmanapologist @sebsxphia @mothdruid @stranger-nightmare @xbamboowishesx @theharddeck @princessphilly @rae-gar-targaryen @shrimping-for-all @mygyn @another-tblr-fangirl @alana4610 @cherrycola27 @annie-franny @whatislovevavy @sugarcoated-lame @ouralcohol @topaz125 @hoe-on-the-range @gigisimsonmars @verdandis-blog@mxgyver @princessofglitterland

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multiverseprincess · 4 days

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one of my fav things to re-read on here 💛

jake seresin being down bad 😩🤌🏽

Parking Spots and Matcha Lattes

Summary: In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop.

AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.

Shout-out to @p3mybeloved who isn't in the TGM fandom, but is the inspiration for this fic ♥️♥️

Part two is up! As is part 3!

It hadn’t been just a long day. It had been a long week.

And it was only Tuesday.

You were exhausted from working after hours to meet critical deadlines. If Barbara from admin found one more thing to nitpick, you were going to lose it.

So you decided to get coffee. Could you have made some at home? Absolutely. But you needed something, just a little something to make your morning brighter. Something that would remind you there was some good in the world and help you get through the first two hours of your day.

Instead of hitting snooze on your alarm clock five times, you got up after hitting it twice. You even remembered to apply deodorant and swipe on mascara. You left five minutes before your alarm to leave went off. Five whole minutes. You were on track to get coffee and get to work in plenty of time. Things were going well.

Too well.

You should have known something was about to fuck up your day when you saw the perfect parking spot. When the hell did that even happen? Never, you should have just gone to the back of the lot.

Foolishly, you started making your way towards the spot, thinking of all the things you could do with the extra minutes you would receive from your soon to be princess parking.

Your car and body lurched forward as you slammed on the brakes in order to not run into the white Jeep Wrangler that sped out from around the corner.

The heart palpitations you were experiencing from the sudden, potentially life saving decision descended into anger as you watched the speed demon take not just your desired parking spot, but also the one right next to it due to parking at an angle.

You gripped the steering wheel as rage seethed through your body. Instead of an elderly lady who just shouldn’t be driving, a tall blonde man dressed in some type of military uniform got out of the car. He didn’t even check his horrendous excuse of a parking job, walking into the coffee shop without a care in the world.

What a fucking asshole.

Normally you’d just find another spot and try to move on.

Not today. Because today was supposed to be a good day and you had done everything in your power to ensure it would start off on the right foot and this douchecanoe just ruined it.

So you found a nearby parking spot, walked over to the eyesore of a car and waited. All the rage and anger built up into you, thinking about his horrendous parking job, as well as the bullshit of your job.

You didn't even wait for him to say anything before tearing into him. The fact he was blonde and conventionally attractive added to your anger because of course a real life Ken doll would think it's okay to park like that.

"Hey dickhead! Who the fuck do you think you are, parking like that?"

"What the-oh wow," his voice trailed off when he took in all of you, not that you noticed.

"Is that how you drive tanks in the army? Because if so, holy shit, our country is-”

He scoffed, “Sweetheart, please. I’m a Lieutenant pilot for the Navy. And one of the best ones at that.”

Whether it was the Texan drawl that dripped through his voice or how he expected you to fall to your knees by revealing this information, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, so you can fly million dollar planes but can’t park without taking up two spaces?” You remarked. He seemed to be taken aback by your comment, which gave you the motivation to keep going.

“First off, who the hell drives through a parking lot at forty-five miles an hour?! There are kids-well teenagers-who walk through here! I know your car is obnoxious as your personality, but not all of us get an adrenaline thrill from having to slam on their fucking breaks so they don’t crash into you.”

You didn’t notice how his emerald eyes were wide and staring right at you. You were on a roll.

“In fact, you probably wouldn’t have had to park so offensively if you had fucking slowed down. Or, you could have had a shred of decency and repark. Don’t they teach that in the military? To have honor or some shit? Or were you too busy doing bicep curls at the gym that day?”

It was then you noticed that his eyes were wide, reminding you of those stupid disney princes your cousins used to fawn over as kids. The look he had on his face made it seem like he was in a far off place, it was almost…..dreamy?

“Hello?” You waved a hand in front of his chiseled face, “Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m trying, but your eyes are super distracting, has anyone ever told you that?”

It took your brain several seconds to process what he just said. Then you had to take another ten seconds to process that he wasn’t being cocky or a smartass when he said it. He was being genuine.

What the actual fuck?

—---------------------------------------------

Jake Seresin woke up this morning, like any other day. He got up early so he could get coffee off base. The Starbucks they had on base was always overcrowded and bitter. Plus, it was nice to get off base for a little bit, get away from things and have a sense of normalcy.

He was not expecting to meet his future wife in the parking lot of a local coffee joint.

Nor was he expecting her to introduce herself by yelling at him.

But it was kinda perfect.

You were stunning, even though you assumed he was in the army, of all things (he’d let that one slide, you’ll learn eventually).

The passion in your eyes as you pointed out exactly what was wrong with his parking job was admirable, alluring, even enticing.

Jake couldn't lie, he'd thought you'd be impressed or at the very least, taken aback by his rank.

Instead, you steamrolled right past it, continuing to list what he had done wrong, taking stabs at him along the way.

It was hot.

You were making valid points. He didn't have to drive that fast, it wasn't like he was late.

But it was also extremely difficult to focus on what you were saying when those big bright eyes of yours were burning into him.

How could he focus on anything else?

So he was honest and told you so.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" You threw your hands up in exasperation.

That we aren't making out right now, is what Jake wanted to say. But his mother would smack him if she found out that's what he said to her future daughter-in-law during their first interaction.

"I have no problem darlin'. In fact, I'm pretty great. Got a matcha latte and have just met the most stunning girl in the world," he flashed that blindingly white smile, ready for you to ask for his number.

"You parked like that for a matcha latte? You couldn't have made me slam on my breaks for something that doesn't taste like dirt?" You spat.

Huh, normally that line worked. The fact it didn't was more exhilarating than nerve-wracking.

Jake honestly found it borderline erotic.

"I didn't realize I had met a parking and coffee expert," He preened, that award winning smile remaining on his face. He was curious, what could get you flustered?

You swore you could see red.

Oh, he was trying. Trying to knock you off balance. Trying to see if he could rattle you. It fueled you.

"I'm not an expert, it's called being a decent human being with common sense, you knockoff Ken doll." The lovesick look on his handsome face remained. If he was a cartoon, hearts would appear over his head.

Oh, you were perfect.

Outright asking for your number wouldn't work. Compliments were going right over your head. He had to change tactics.

He looked over at his parking job before facing you again, "Y'know, you're absolutely right. That was a shitty parking job."

Your eyes widened, surprised that this walking Crest Whitening Strips advertisement could admit he had done something wrong.

Jake continued, "And I'd love to learn more about how to park correctly from you…over dinner."

When you started ripping into him, you weren't exactly sure what to expect. Most likely an argument that would end with middle fingers thrown in the air as you both walked away.

Not him asking you out.

"You want me to continue yelling at you about your inability to park over dinner?" You asked. Perhaps the lack of oxygen he experienced from flying planes had affected his ability to think. Perhaps folks should study the effects his job had on the brain. Not that Congress would allow it (couldn't interfere with recruitment).

That stupidly white smile remained on his face, "I was also hoping I could learn more about you too."

Hesitation filled you. The officer (or whatever his rank was) was being genuine. His compliments didn't feel forced. It was just odd that after being yelled at for nearly ten minutes, the conclusion he came to was that he wanted to go on a date with you.

"Buy me coffee first." You challenged, crossing your arms over your chest as an attempt to come across as intimidating, despite how much taller the soldier was compared to you.

A smile broke out onto his face. Not a cocky one, but one that was soft and sweet.

It was almost endearing. Almost.

"Anything for you darlin'," he declared, sea green eyes sparkling, "I'm Jake by the way."

You didn't expect him to go through with it. Nor did you expect him to jog ahead so he could hold the door open for you.

A warm feeling began to flutter in your stomach, until you remembered his heinous parking skills. That warm sensation would transform into a quiet, bubbling rage.

"Hangman? The fuck kind of name is that?" You asked upon hearing him say it to the barista.

"It's my callsign darlin'," he explained, like it was the most obvious and sensible thing in the world.

"First off, my name is not darlin, I just told you it two minutes ago. Second, you are way too smug to be telling me how your callsign is after a children's recess game, Officer." You ignored the confused stare of the barista who handed you your drink.

"I didn't get it from the game and it's Lieutenant," he corrected, his voice the sharpest it had been since talking to you.

A nerve had been struck. Or so you thought.

You leaned forward, your cardigan brushing against the khaki shirt he wore.

"Learn how to park properly and maybe then I'll get your rank right, officer." You were quite proud of yourself for that one, considering he was actually silent for a few moments.

Meanwhile, Jake was doing everything in his power to not sport an erection in the middle of the coffee shop. Because holy shit, you were hot. It was ridiculous how your smirk almost made his knees buckle.

He wondered if you'd prefer an early summer or fall wedding. He had always envisioned getting married in late May. But the rust colored cardigan you had on perfectly complimented your complexion. You'd probably looked great in mustard too. But those colors were more appropriate for a fall wedding and not-

"Cat got your tongue? Or does the navy have their own expression?" Your voice broke Jake out of his thoughts.

He just smiled, shaking his head, "Just got distracted by how pretty you are. Gonna tell you now, I don't know if I'll be able to focus on parking standards during our date tonight. Might need a second one for review."

You rolled your eyes, "It's not a date it's…. actually I don't know what you call it when you are teaching a grown ass man how to properly park over dinner-"

"It's a date." The barista called out before turning around to work on the other orders. Heat rushed to your face as Jake slipped a five dollar bill into the tip jar.

"Whatever" you fumbled to get your phone out, pulling up a new contact, "just give me your number so I can text you the address of the restaurant."

He quirked an eyebrow, "You're picking the place?"

"You can't drive for shit and out of all the types of tea lattes you could drink, you go with matcha," you leaned in to look at the sticker on his cup, "with skim milk. The federal government may trust you with their jets, but like hell I'm gonna trust you to pick a restaurant."

Oh, he was definitely going to marry you. In his head, he already tried out pairing your first name with Seresin and it sounded heavenly.

He just grinned, his emerald eyes shining and you really wished he'd stopped doing that.

The scent of cedar wood flooded your nostrils as he leaned in, his face much closer to yours than it had been so far. Was he bending his knees to be at eye level with you?

Focus, you told yourself. He can't park for shit and got zero sweetener in his drink. Who the hell does that?

"I look forward to showing you on our date that I have great taste, as well as many talents that will have you overlooking my parking skills," his voice was low, dripping with a pathetic attempt of seduction that made you want to bang your head against the counter of the coffee bar.

"Type your phone number in before I throw my drink at you. I don't care if I get fined with 'defacing government property'." You all but shoved your phone into his chest, earning a chuckle from him that sent more heat to your body than rage.

"Anything for you, Venus." Did the obnoxiously bright smile ever go away?

"Y'know, you could have a really strong legal case for what all the lack of oxygen has done to your brain, like not being able to remember my name."

Jake shook his head, "Oh, I remember your name. Venus suits you better. Hottest planet, looks great in rust," he motioned to your cardigan, "Goddess of love and beauty. It's quite fitting for you."

This guy was unreal. The grip you had around your drink tightened, your bottom lip pushing forward to form an annoyed pout.

"I look forward to our date tonight, Venus," He said as he handed you back your phone, his long fingers brushing against yours.

Your eyes couldn't roll harder, "I look forward to serving my country by teaching you how to properly park, Hangnail."

"It's Hangman."

Now it was your turn to smirk, "Nah, Hangnail suits you better," your voice dropped, mocking his southern accent.

With that, you left the coffee shop. You had to, otherwise you were going to throw your drink at him.

You missed the downright lovesick smile that adorned Jake Sersin's face as he watched you walk out.

"Thanks for helping me meet my future wife y'all," He said to the very confused baristas.

"She looked like she wanted to murder you," one commented.

Jake laughed, shaking his head, "Don't worry. I'll win her over."

As you got in your car, a vibration from your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out, a message from an unknown number flashing on your screen.

Looking forward to our date tonight. Can't wait for your lesson Venus ;)

Oh that bastard. When the hell did he have time to send himself a text to get your number?

You shook your head despite the fact he couldn't see you.

A loud horn made you jump. You looked up from your phone to see the living embodiment of a Ken doll in his car that was now in the middle of the parking lot, right across from your car.

He waved. God, you wanted to wipe that smirk off his stupid face.

Instead, you rolled down your window.

"What the fuck are you doing?! You're going to block traffic!" You yelled.

"Text me your address Venus! I'll pick you up at seven!" He winked, driving away as he ignored your comment.

At least he wasn't speeding through the parking lot this time.

Maybe there was hope. Maybe. Doubtful. Probably not.

On the way back to base, Jake wondered if you'd prefer a silver or gold band for your engagement ring.

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@spidervee @sebsxphia @hangmanapologist @xbamboowishesx @rae-gar-targaryen @theharddeck @abibliophobiaa @mothdruid @stranger-nightmare @princessphilly

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