my-book-reviews

[my-book-reviews]

Tribe

3/5/19

Summary

Short and sweet. Junger did a crap load of research and synthesized it nicely in a 80 page book. No filler, just gets straight to the point.

Self-determination theory - human beings need 3 basic things to be happy: competence in their specialty (techne), feel authentic and autonomous in their lives, deep connection with others

Keeping this in mind, Junger primarily focuses the book on the connection part of that equation and makes some very interesting points. The human race’s sense of community is what has allowed us to survive for tens of thousands of years. Back in the day when your entire family could easily be massacred by a saber tooth and your baby could instantly die from bacterial infections with you being unable to do anything about it, it was important to be apart of a tight-knit community. By staying close together, you could split the focus and task members with different aspects of survival such as hunting, building shelter, and nursing children. Everyone had a role and each person had a huge responsibility in the tribe. If one person messed up, it would mean death to everyone, so it was expected that you did your job right. And in doing so, the entire tribe would receive the fruits of your labor as you receive their fruits as well. 

The main thesis of this book is that humans are hard-wired for this type of community-centered living, but the western world has lost touch with this type of connection. Junger argues that our affluent lifestyle has allowed us to not worry about danger and live very comfortable. We don’t need to talk to our neighbors to trade food or support each other's house construction, we have everything we need to survive nowadays. As lucky as we might be, it is also a curse. Never have we seen depression and anxiety rates so high, and a western theme of gluttony for gratification and self-centeredness has only isolated us from the people around us. The internet and social media only bolsters this isolation (when used immaturely of course, but that’s the majority). 

It’s the adversity that use to draw us together, and that’s what kept us connected. It gave us meaning, a significant role in our society. That’s why many veterans miss war. It gave them brothers and sisters, who they were willing to die for... it gave them absolute meaning. 

The main point is, if we want to survive what scientists call the sixth extinction, we must reconnect with this fundamental evolutionary need. We need to shift our focus to community building and selflessness. We must be able to sacrifice our time and resources to help others. In doing so, the world will gain so much more and all of us will thrive.

Favorite Quotes:

“...home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

‘[Both] the most affluent and the most miserable of the human race are to be found in the countries that are called civilized.”’

“When people are actively engaged in a cause their lives have more purpose… with a resulting improvement in mental health”

“...social bonds were reinforced during disasters, and that people overwhelmingly devoted their energies toward the good of the community rather than just themselves.”

“’I asked Ahmetašević if people had ultimately been happier during the war. ‘We were the happiest,” Ahmetašević said. Then she added: ‘And we laughed more.’”

“Adversity often leads people to depend more on one another, and that closeness can produce a kind of nostalgia for the hard times that even civilians are susceptible to.”

“There seemed to be a great human potential out there, organized around the idea of belonging, and the trick was to convince people that their interests had more in common than they had in conflict”

“...belonging to society requires sacrifice, and that sacrifice gives back way more than it costs.”

Takeaway

Being apart of a community and experiencing adversity with that tribe is essential to living a fulfilled life. Find that community. Be a big contributor. Give for others well-being and don’t expect anything for return. That is how you find meaning in life. Serve something greater than yourself and you no longer have to ask yourself whether you belong.