mydisneymoment

[mydisneymoment]

on june 1, the love of my life was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia cancer. but believe it or not- it was a relief to find out. lemme rewind a bit, on may 20th, he showed me some crazy big bruises and his gums were bleeding continously after he flossed. we decided to give it a week and see if the bruises would naturally go away- at this point i didnt really think anything of it, he's a biker and hella active so i thought that he may have gotten the bruises from biking and maybe didnt realize. the gums were weird but again- i didnt think too much of it. a week later, a few more bruises popped up and earlier in the week he had told me this walking heart rate had gotten up to like 150.. which was quite alarming cos like i said, this guys an athlete. i told him he should make an appointment asap and he said the next appointment was in august. he had done some research and he thought it was his liver, panic started to settle in but it was my sisters grad weekend so i knew we'd be seeing family who are in healthcare. regardless, i told him that he shouldnt drink this weekend and til we knew what was up. we shared what he was experiencing with close family and friends and they're expressions had us really worried. after his cousins bday dinner, we went to the ER the evening of may 28. the er was filled will bottle rock attendees and that was a time in itself. we got in at 9pm and didnt get seen til 1am. they checked his blood and the results were crazy low. we got checked into the er, they took some more blood and then after waiting a couple hours were notified that those numbers were critical and he was being checked into the hospital. the next day he received two blood transfusions and a bone marrow biopsy. the day after was a ct scan and we were just sitting ducks waiting for the bone marrow results. on the morning of wednesday may 31st, we found out it was leukemia. now we were informed that our local hospital didnt have the right specialists for his disease and that we would be transferring to ucsf that evening and we were checked in that night. at queen we were told that it was forsure apl so naturally i was in shock and another wave of fear hit when we got to ucsf when the nurse told me that they were running tests to see if it was apl or aml. my world started spinning again but i tried to hold my composure and stay strong for my guy. naturally- i took a walk for "water" and broke down in the hallway. note- i actually brought our water cups out and asked one of the nurses to give it directly to me- but she freakin dropped them in the room!! those were my cover girl cant you see im fucked up lol. they took 13 blood vials from him and gave him a potassium transfusion- the first time i heard him in pain. pain immediately enveloped me, to see my guy hurting. i did my best to massage him and distract him from the pain. when the nurse came in to change out the bag- i had completely lost it and told her it was hurting him, she was able to slow the drip down and it was better. safe to say no sleep was had that night. when we woke up- they had given him a full body ekg where we saw his heart and liver, he opted for a pick line that connected straight to his chest so they could directly connect the ivs and take blood from that instead of them picking him with a new needle everytime. he got another bone marrow biopsy- they wanted to do their own research- i was able to sit in n watch and after they confirmed to me that it was apl and then his main doctor came in that day as well and confirmed his diagnosis, gave the game plan and set the ground rules. i wasnt in the room during this time but his parents were and recorded a video of the doctors for me. the three of us were in the family room together where i plugged in and listened to the diagnosis. i didnt really have time to breathe before his dad started game planning. i had a full blown panic attack and could not think and the self doubt settled in. looking back on june 1st, it feels like it was a whole week in one day.