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I love him so much you guys don't understand
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[Spoilers for Xavier's 3rd Anecdote]
Me when realizing that Xavier's obsession with stars isn't particularly a him thing, it's a YOU [MC] thing.
It was YOUR thing.
He loves them because you loved them first, at a point where he could care less about them. But being with you in your first life, when you turned his world upside down, and having it end as tragically as it did, knowing that in your last moments all you wanted to do was see the stars with him one last time.
It's not about the stars, it's about you.
And it's become so engrained in his persona now.
Meanwhile, even in your future lives you still somehow think of him as your star.
In this essay I will-
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This is my peace offering for Xavier tender moments to come home.
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Stardust Trail | Xavier Anecdotes 3
So like...I read Xavier's lore. After sobbing and malding I drew this.
They give the:
MC: "You were a wonderful experience."
Xavier: "You were...everything."
vibe.
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I thought he'd enjoy reading a book on my chair in my room lol
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FUCK
#at least he came early. i still have a chance to get xavier#i got a zayne on standard 3 minutes earlier#the game really doesnt want me to complete my full 5 star xavier team
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XAVIER: RED FLAGS
Summary: Some of Xaviers' tiny and massive red flags
Warnings: mentions of murder
Will sometimes not show up to dates because he didn't hear his alarm in his sleep. He feels guilty about it, but it will happen again.
Can't cook at all. Genuine fire hazard in the kitchen, which is pretty bad for a normal human, but he's like... old. He should know how to cook.
Too calm about murder. Like he just isn't bothered when he has to kill people. Doesn't care about corpses and blood, etc. There's no guilt, no shame, nothing. It's a regular Tuesday for him.
He gets a bit confused when you freak out about him killing someone, not realising how odd his behaviour is from your point of view until you spell it out for him.
He probably takes the health of your heart as seriously as Zayne does (if not more seriously) and he will never explain why. He doesn't see the point in coming clean about that stuff.
He will also probably never explain the star tassel on his sword. He will just say that someone he loved very dearly gave it to him a long time ago and never tell you that he's talking about you. He doesn't realise that it makes you feel like you're the second choice unless you explicitly tell him.
Eats your leftovers without asking. Doesn't matter what it is. He's like a racoon.
He will also eat stale chips and flat soda without complaint when he's hungry (and he's always hungry)
Has no playlists on Spotify. He just listens to his liked songs on shuffle
You could get murdered next to him, and he would accidentally sleep through it (and then he would hunt down the people who killed you and wait for your next reincarnation)
Does not own a single pen. Not even one. Or kitchen scissors. Or tape. Or straws. Or more than 3 cups and 4 plates. But he does have a bedframe and nice curtains and bedsheets and beautiful towels, and that makes him better than a lot of other guys.
Has to buy new headphones every 3-5 months because he keeps losing them. He usually forgets them on the subway.
He takes a lot of time in the shower. Sometimes you think he fell asleep while washing out his shampoo.
Top player in the world in some shitty mobile game like garden scapes. He has definitely spent money on it as well after promising himself he would never do that, and thousands of older women worldwide ask themselves who that mysterious number 1 player is who's somehow level 18457
Regularly has to Google most phrases that people around him use because he genuinely doesn't understand them. He also still uses slang that is decades old (he's been alive for a long time and trends die quickly okay. It's hard to keep up with all that stuff)
Takes inaccuracies in historical dramas very personally
Doesn't talk much about his thoughts and feelings unless you explicitly ask him to do so. Would much rather talk about yours instead. He doesn't really think his own thoughts matter that much compared to yours.
He regularly has nightmares about his past. Especially about you dying in his arms (anecdotes 3). He never talks about his nightmares with you. Even begging will not soften him up. To him it would just be an unnecessary burden to place onto your shoulders.
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XAVIER: THE SUN
Xavier is the sun, but not in the way people think. People hear "sunshine character" and think of clear skies during spring. Of flowers and beaches and singing birds. But that's not Xavier. Xavier is the sun in a different way.
(This is all based on my own knowledge/memory of stars, and it's probably not perfectly accurate because I tend to forget things quickly. I'm also oversimplifying and heavily romanticizing this. This is not an academic paper. It's a silly little post about Love and Deepspace!)
The sun is an average size star compared to other stars in the universe. There are billions of smaller stars and billions of larger stars. Compared to stars like Rigel and Betelgeuse, the sun is just a speck of dust in space, and stars like Teegarden's Star and other red dwarfs are grains of sand compared to the sun. It's not particularly special in size.
It's classified as a yellow dwarf star. Yellow dwarf stars don't "go supernova". They don't turn into black holes or neutron stars. They are simply too small.
They burn out of their hydrogen supply over millions of years, collapse, then expand, turning into "red giants". They stay that way until they become unstable, shedding their outer layers in form of large clouds made up of dust and gas (called planetary nebula).
What is left afterwards is the core, a white dwarf. White dwarfs are very dense and do not produce heat. Instead they spend millions of years slowly cooling down. When they completely cool down they turn into black dwarfs, but we will never see one because the universe isn't old enough for a white dwarf to completely cool down and actually turn into one.
It's not special. Even its death will be slow and anticlimactic. It won't collapse into a supermassive black hole after a giant supernova. It will just fade away slowly and quietly after its life as a red giant is over.
What makes the sun special is not itself, but its perfect proximity to earth. The sun makes life here possible because its mass and distance to our home planet gave us a chance to exist and observe it. Nothing else. It is perfectly average in its size, luminosity, and mass.
The sun is also lonely. More than half of the stars that we have observed share a solar system with at least one other star. They orbit each other as they travel through the universe. We can also observe triple star systems (the nearest star to the sun, Proxima Centauri, is part of a triple star system as far as I remember), quadruple systems, and possibly even septuple star systems (Nu Scorpii and AR Cassiopeiae). I've even seen things about possible octuple and even nontuple star systems.
But the sun is alone. It has a lot of planets surrounding it, but no other stars accompany it. There's a chance that it has siblings though, stars that formed in the same nebulae/gas cloud, but we have trouble finding them because we don't even truly know in what nebulae the sun was "born" in.
We have theories, but it's hard to do anything except guess because our sun is quite old and therefore far away from its birthplace (which has probably stopped existing by now). We're looking for stars with similar compositions and ages as our sun, and we look at their orbits and compare them to the orbit of our sun to see if they could be related, all in hopes of finding out more about our star through them, but the search takes a lot of time. We might never find its siblings. Maybe they're just too far away. Or there are no siblings. Maybe the nebulae only gave birth to one star, our sun, and no others.
Maybe our sun was always destined to be alone, from the very beginning of its life to its end. And maybe Xavier is destined to be alone too.
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I'm not good with swords but I have Xaviers Lightseeker so I have to learn ;-;
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I just read xaviers anecdotes 3 and I think I might cry
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My little star
Characters: Xavier
Summary: random relationship headcanons with Xavier
Warnings: None
A/N: I've completely fallen in love with Love and Deepspace, especially with Xavier. It's truly hopeless
the type of boyfriend to get you matching pyjamas
he gets you so many that they slowly start to replace all of your own
likes to match with you even if you don't live together, so sometimes he just texts you to ask which pyjamas you're wearing so he can change into the matching one after he showered
if you ever gift him slippers, blankets, or pillows, he will keep them forever (even if it's something goofy like those big fluffy bunny slippers)
the best person to ask for good midnight snacks. He can recommend fantastic instant noodles, chips, crackers, or other snacks that are light and won't give you stomach aches late at night or negatively impact your sleep in any other way
very interested in your skincare routine (if you have one) and will try out any mask or cream that you give him
if you come up with a routine for him (a simple one, maybe, like the basic cleanser > toner > moisturizer), he will follow it diligently, dragging himself out of bed before he sleeps every day to do it because you were the one to pick those products for him and he doesn't want to waste that
he feels like it connects you to him, even if your routine is completely different and a bit more complicated
never cries during movies, no matter how sad they might be, but he does (on very rare occasions) get a bit teary-eyed
he will hold you if you cry during a movie, and he would never even think about making fun of you for it
he does secretly think that it's cute that you get so worked up about a movie
can sleep through anything. a bomb could go off in his house and he wouldn't know that it happened until he woke up
has seen every single episode of any shitty sitcom you can think of at least three times because he occasionally watches them while he sleeps
sometimes he quotes them but because he knows each of these shows so well now he always quotes the lesser known scenes and no one gets what he's talking about
you start to understand his references after a while, so sometimes he will quote some obscure scene from a super unpopular sitcom that got cancelled after one season and you're the only one laughing
secretly sneaks to the arcade sometimes to practice the claw machine game because he wants to get you the plushies you don't have yet (and to impress you)
he ends up getting dozens of repeats of plushies that you already own. he collects in a small storage room in his apartment that used to be empty
he ends up giving them away when the collection gets out of control, donating them to a children's hospital nearby
gets all shy when you find out about it, blushing bright red like a tomato (or a wasabi octopus)
knows about every single 24 hour store in the city because of his odd sleeping habits and always knows what to do no matter what time it is
you can't sleep and want to go on a date at 3:27 am? he knows a place
if someone is mean to you he will try his hardest to deescalate the situation, but he's also fully willing to fight the person if that doesn't work
I mean have you read his Anecdotes 2? He doesn't give a fuck. He'd prefer not to fight, sure, but if it's unavoidable? What is he gonna do? Not fight and defend you? Ridiculous.
The fandom has already started turning him into this soft uwu stereotype, but the thing is that that's... just not him? He's sweet and kind, yes, but that's not all he is. He's complicated! He has layers!
if he ever falls asleep during a date he would feel awful about it for days, even if you reassure him that it's fine and that you're glad that he feels safe enough around you to fall asleep
he tries to make it up to you with a different date and he falls asleep again, which starts a vicious, endless cycle
when he finally does get over his guilt it's only because you fall asleep during a date after you had a long day at work
knows when you cheat in kitty cards, but sometimes he just lets you get away with it, especially if he knows you had a stressful day at work. He hopes that the win will cheer you up
his good night kisses are forehead kisses while his good morning kisses are on top of your head if you didn't sleep over or on the cheek if you did
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