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U.S.-U.K. Relationship Status: Its Complicated

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U.S.-U.K. Relationship Status: Its Complicated

ARROMANCHES, FranceThe veterans are in their 90s, and some more than 100 years old, their withered bodies seeming weighed down by the medals on their chests. But there is no way the menBrits, Canadians, Americansunited by the extraordinary combat they saw 75 years ago would do without those medals.

Each year they have a chance, once again, to be celebrated as heroes and listen to politicians speak euphorically, as President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Theresa May and indeed Queen Elizabeth II have done, about the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain.

For those who braved the German guns to land here in Normandy on June 6, 1944the Americans at Utah and Omaha beaches, the Canadians at Juno, and the British at Sword and Goldthere is not much doubt about the specialness of what they did together, and could not have done without each other.

But as we look to a future in which Britain withdraws from the European Union (finally) and tries to lean on historical ties to the United States to compensate for a cataclysmic economic and political divorce, it is important to take a closer look at what May gushingly described as a precious and profound friendship that is the bedrock of our shared prosperity and security, while Trump, talking only about the U.S. and U.K., called it the greatest alliance the world has ever known.

What may have been true in the summer of 1944when Britain was still an empire, albeit a crumbling onehas not been true since. In the years after the war the United States became a superpower while the U.K. shrank back into its island redoubt, becoming the fifth-ranked global economy (one seventh the size of the U.S. economy, one fifth of Chinas) with a military regularly described as punching above its weight.

In British-American relations, World War II was a huge reversal of fortune about which most Americans are oblivious and which most Britons, if they are aware, would rather forget.

Let's put aside the American Revolution, decided by massive French intervention, and certainly not by any magnanimity on the part of the British.

For the next 70 years or so, the British treated the Americans largely with contempt, and to the extent there was an affinity, it was on the basis of language and, yes, race. Their feuds and indeed their wars against each other were among WASP brethren.

The conservative British establishment saw the Americans as contemptible rubes, unpredictable threats to Pax Britannia. And, also, an annoying distraction from the serious wars among monarchs in Europe.

During the War of 1812 (a sideshow in Britain's war against Napoleon) the British burned what there was worth burning in Washington D.C., including the White House, in 1814. Special relationship indeed.

The Monroe Doctrine of 1823 is talked about in the U.S. as if it is some sacred paper barrier against foreign intervention in the Western Hemisphere. But the British ignored it from the start as they competed with the yanquis for domination of trade routes across Central America. Not only did they occupy British Honduras, where they stayed until 1981 when it became Belize, for decades in the 19th century they declared the ill-defined Mosquito Kingdom, virtually the entire Caribbean Coast of Central America, a British protectorate.

For all Englishmenthere existed a vague, though influential, pride in the advance of a people of similar race, sprung from British loins.

The British ruling class also considered the American rabble as partisans of subversive republicanism, the antithesis of monarchical order.

As the historian Ephraim Douglass Adam once noted, For all Englishmen, of whatever class, in spite of rivalry in power, of opposing theories of trade, of divergent political institutions, there existed a vague, though influential, pride in the advance of a people of similar race, sprung from British loins, but precisely because of that affinity the biological forebears of the present queen and ideological forebears of Britains Tories were implacably hostile to the United States.

In the mid-1850s, the British and Americans were constantly rattling sabers at each other. During the Crimean War, the British envoy to Washington was expelled for allegedly recruiting Americans to fight in the British military. In 1859 on a remote island in the Pacific Northwest where the border between British Columbia and what was then the Washington Territory was ill defined, an American farmer shot a British pig. Soon troops and ships were being deployed on both sides.

The historic and racial affinity among what the French still call les anglo-saxons created enormous and very dangerous complications just before and during the American Civil War.

By the middle of the 19th century an affinity had developed among the restless masses of Britain and their notion of the freedom-loving Americans, but the Americans, for their part, had begun to romanticize the monarchy almost beyond comprehension.

Thus in the autumn of 1860, with American society irreconcilably divided between the slave-owning South and the wage labor North, a visit by Bertie, Prince of Wales, thrilled the entire nation.

But six months later the Civil War began, and the British establishment, whatever its qualms about slavery at that point, favored the South. The hope was that this upstart "republic" would be sundered, and its inspiration to the masses in Europe would be crushed. Lincolns secretary of state, William Seward, repeatedly threatened Britain with war, declaring he would wrap the world in fire. Southerners flirted with the idea of returning to the monarchy. The British, while supposedly neutral, helped the Confederates build some of their most effective warships and turned a blind eye to massive shipments of arms and materiel.

After the Norths victory in the Civil War, there followed a long and difficult time of regrouping. The vast British Empire did its thing, the Americans did theirs, and set about building an empire of their own.

The American war against Spain in 1898 took the U.S. global as it claimed Spanish colonies from Cuba to the Philippines, and Rudyard Kipling wrote about the Americans, his racial brethren, as if they had not the slightest clue what they were doing: Take up the white mans burden, he ironized, the savage wars of peace.

World War I is remembered by Donald Trump as the war "we" won. But it began in August 1914. The U.S. did not enter officially until 1917, and American troops did not see combat until early 1918. It ended 11 months later. The Americans had tipped the balance, fresh troops on a battlefield where carnage beyond reckoning had decimated and exhausted the populations of Europe.

Woodrow Wilson, who had campaigned for reelection in 1916 with the slogan "he kept us out of war," tried to build an international order with the League of Nations, but Congress had had enough of Europe, of entangling alliances, and the great empires at each others throats.

The French and the British, wanted to exact a price the vanquished Germans would be paying for generations, and less than a generation later, war came again.

Where was the "special relationship" then? It was at best a vague abstraction. Great Britain entered the war against Germany after the Nazi invasion of Poland at the beginning of September 1939. Although President Franklin Roosevelt began sending material supplies to Britain and Russia in the lend lease program, America did not enter the war until the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941.

We were told the term was intellectually shallow and vacuous.

The battle of Britain raged, and the Blitz, as the U.K. fought on alone. American material aid was important, but American troops did not join the fight until two years and three months after the war had begun. By then, millions had died in Western Europe and on the Eastern Front as Hitler made, for Germany, the fatal mistake of invading invading the Soviet Union. Indeed, a new book by Daily Beast contributor Andrew Nagorski argues that 1941, for that reason, was the year that Germany lost the war.

By the 1950s, the British were in full retreat from their old empire. When they tried to stop Egyptian Nationalist Gamal Abdel Nasser from seizing the Suez Canal in 1956, the U.S. intervened to stop the war, and force the British-French-Israeli coalition to withdraw.

As Britain pulled back east of Suez, the United States moved to fill the void left by its diminishing power in the Persian Gulf and elsewhere. The borders it had drawn for the Middle East, some of them supposedly on the back of the napkin, fell to the Americans to justify and defend: a labor that continues to this day.

Later, Britains claims to a global role, at least in American eyes, would be due to soft power: the Beatles and the cultural revolution they did so much to launch; James Bond, the iconic but purely fictional spy; and always those royals, whose stories continue to excite the American imagination.

But by the 1990s, some British correspondents in Washington were ordered never to use the term special relationship.

We were told, said one, the term was intellectually shallow and vacuous.

And so it is. But as Britain plunges ahead toward Brexit, believing it can leap out the window of the European Union and that Donald J. Trump will be waiting to receive it with open arms, the special relationship is, really, all it can cling to.

To which, given Trumps record of promise making and promise breaking, the best one can say is, Good luck with that.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Dane Cooks Creepy Romantic Relationship With a Teenager Raises Serious Red Flags

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Dane Cooks Creepy Romantic Relationship With a Teenager Raises Serious Red Flags

There are some thingsWalkmans, frosted tips, and cargo shorts, to name a fewthat are best left in the early 2000s where they belong.

Dane Cook is, ostensibly, part of this group. The 46-year-old washed-up comedian hasnt done anything noteworthy since the days when puka shell necklaces were in vogueinstead spending his time making misogynistic, distasteful jokes (including one mocking victims of the 2012 movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado) whenever he does perform at a venue.

But as unlikely as it may sound in 2018, Cook is back making headlinesthis time after details of his new relationship became public, following a Q&A session on Instagram. ICYMI, Cooks currently dating 19-year-old Kelsi Taylor, a self-styled singer-songwriter whos 27 years his junior.

According to Cook, he met the young singer at a game night he hosted at his place. From there, We were friends for a while & soon after fell in like with each [sic] and then upgraded to love, the comedian said in an Instagram story from Monday. When asked by a fan if their families approve of the relationship, Cook wrote, I love her family and we are pretty close and do dinner and hang. My family pretty all died years ago but @_courtneycook_ my sister like [sic] Kelsi a lot. Neither family seems to have an issue with the couples 27-year age gap.

Cook was liberal with his praise for Taylor, saying, Kelsi is smart, kind, creative, loyal & honest. He added, As for me I think Kelsi would says [sic] Im tolerable. Lol.

This would all be well and good, if the age difference between Cook and Taylor (and the circumstances surrounding their meeting) werent so unsettling. The two have been dating for a little over a year now, which means, in theory, that their relationship began when Taylor was merely 18, and Cook, 45. As Cook explained, they first met at a game night at his home, which begs the question: what kind of circles does a teenage girl have to run in to get invited over to Dane Cooks house?

Cook was quick to emphasize, however, that the two were friends for a while before they began dating. Its unclear what, exactly, a teenager and a comedian old enough to be her father have in common, but apparently the chemistry between Cook and Taylor (if you could even call it that) was strong enough to lead to a relationship.

When asked during the Instagram Q&A, What advice do you have to those in age gap relationships? Cook cheekily replied with, The only thing you have to do is plan that your deaths will be somewhat far apart. He answered a similar question a few weeks ago, saying, At the end of your life you wont care how old anyone was or is. You will remember who loved you. Age means zitch its a number that has no measurement of what makes your character. [emphasis mine.]

Cooks rhetoric is questionable at best and predatory at worstand this coupled with the fact that Cook and the much younger Taylor were allegedly friends before sounds pretty suspicious. Sexual predators frequently groom potential victims for months, if not years, at a time, forming a connection and gaining trust before initiating exploitative relationships.

Its unclear how old Taylor was when she met Cookand although shes technically of legal age now, the 27-year age gap between her and her comedian boyfriend has left a lot of people feeling unsettled.

Taylor, for her part, seems happy in the relationship. She frequently posts Instagram photos with Cook, calling him my man and the light of my life. In a photo from their one-year anniversary, in which Cook looks positively geriatric next to a smiling Taylor, she wrote, Spent the day yesterday celebrating our love and I couldnt be happier. I have the most amazing guy by my side with the sweetest of hearts. I love you with all of mine.

Cook is just the latest in a long-line of gross male celebrities to find love with a significantly younger partner. While its quite possible that Cook and Taylor do have a genuinely healthy, balanced relationship, reading Cooks behavior as anything less than creepy is difficult, to say the least.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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What Each Myers-Briggs Type Wants (But Will Never Actually Ask For) In A Relationship

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What Each Myers-Briggs Type Wants (But Will Never Actually Ask For) In A Relationship

ENFP: Someone to provide them with a safe, structured place to come back to.

It’s no secret that ENFPs like to think about all the possibilities this world has to offer- and they never last long in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get that. It’s usually clear to potential partners that they want someone who is understanding, willing to discuss ideas and theories, and allows them the freedom to be exactly who they are. Yet something ENFPs also genuinely want is someone who can help them keep a little structure in their lives (because as much as they loathe to admit it, they thrive when they have some) and someone who will provide a safe place for them to rest and process all of the new discoveries and ideas they’ve come across. They won’t ask for this because they hate to admit they need any kind of structure, and they’re afraid their partner may take it too far- but they still hope one way or another a balance can be reached.

ENTP: Someone to give them full autonomy.

ENTPs are known to have their hands and minds into a little bit of everything- they’re easily a “jack of all trades” kind of person who loves to explore the world and all the theories around them from a pretty logical standpoint. Though this type is fairly known for changing partners frequently, when they stumble across someone who is not only interesting but just as interested in the world and discussions around them as they are, then it’s not difficult for them to enter a relationship. As long as their partner values change, growth, and mental exploration, the ENTP is likely going to be satisfied with the relationship; yet even when things are going extremely well, something the ENTP wants from their partner is to have full autonomy to live life on their terms. ENTPs don’t like to feel stifled or held back in any aspect, and relationships can sometimes put a strain on those things if they don’t feel they’re getting the freedom and trust to do the things they want. They usually won’t ask for this out loud because frankly, they can’t see themselves with a partner who doesn’t trust them enough to believe they’ll always come back to the relationship and care for it- so if it’s clear that their partner won’t grant them this, they likely won’t stick around too long.

INFP: For their partner to understand them to the fullest (and they’ll do the same in return).

INFPs are incredible hopeless romantics- they are known to romanticize potential partners and relationships, which at times can lead to disappointment if those ideas don’t flesh out into reality. They’re incredibly nurturing, empathetic, and idealistic; when they do end up in a relationship, they will do everything in their power to make things work. However, even when the relationship is going incredibly smooth, the INFP secretly wishes that their partner will find a way to understand them to the fullest extent- their thoughts, emotions, intentions, and everything in between. INFPs want to get down to the essential core of the people they care for, and they invest a great deal of time doing so- they want their partner to feel understood on every level imaginable. Yet there is a part of them that also wants their partner to return the favor and try to understand them in that exact same way. They won’t actually say this to their partner, because they are aware that not everyone works the same way that they do, and they also don’t want to put any pressure on their significant other because they know how lofty of an expectation this is to ask of another person.

INTP: Someone to take the time to fully understand them without changing them.

INTPs are known to be very reserved and detached individuals who don’t enter into relationships often, yet this doesn’t mean that there is zero desire for one. They tend to be analytical and critical of their environments and of themselves- and this can extend to the small circle of people they do allow into their lives. They tend to require a great deal of freedom and autonomy, and don’t like to feel constrained by a relationship or the expectations that usually come with one- however, if they do comes across someone who can catch their attention, they’re incredibly devoted and loyal partners who strive to understand their partner and how they function, while providing for their needs in the best ways they know how. Yet even in the most relaxed and incredible relationship, the INTP secretly wants their partner to try and understand exactly who they are without trying to change them. Because the INTP is very analytical and interested in understanding things, they apply this same method to their partners- they pay attention to what makes them tick, what excites them, what they strive for in life. In the same way, an INTP wants a partner who will reciprocate that same type of keen and studious interest, without trying to push them to be someone they aren’t. Though the INTP is an honest and straight forward person, they typically won’t ask for this directly in their relationships, because they prefer to let actions speak over words and would rather their partner come to this desire themselves rather than appearing vulnerable and asking for it.

ESFJ: Someone to appreciate all the effort/things they do in the relationship.

ESFJs are known to be incredible caretakers- they are compassionate, organized, and have a strong desire to help people in whatever tangible ways they can. It’s not uncommon for ESFJs to end up in relationships with those who are a little more scattered and introverted;;; yet even in relationships where they are truly in love, secretly the ESFJ wants their partner to appreciate and affirm all the things and the effort they put into a relationship. The ESFJ loves to go out of their way to help their partner and provide for their needs, as well as showering them with affirmation. They will never ask for any of this in return, but deep down they really would love for their partner to not only notice and appreciate these things but to return the favor themselves. They’ll never ask for this because they don’t want to appear selfish or that they’re only doing these things with an ulterior motive, but it doesn’t change that there is a small part of them that hopes their partner will catch on eventually.

ISFJ: Someone to be their partner in all aspects, not just romantically.

ISFJs tend to be extremely overlooked in the MBTI spectrum- usually because they would prefer to be out of the spotlight and just keep to themselves. However, these types are very dedicated and loyal partners once they find a person they’re willing to commit to. ISFJs usually end up falling for people who are averse to commitment, because they want to be valued enough to change the person’s mind and give them a reason to feel safe and secure- something they want as much themselves. As long as their partner is secure, open, and aware of their sensitive nature, the ISFJ will likely feel happy about being in the relationship. However, secretly the ISFJ wants to know they have a partner in all aspects of life- not just romantically. When an ISFJ commits, they don’t take it lightly, and they tend to have an idea of how this person will fit into their future pretty early on. Yet ISFJs don’t see a romantic partner as only fulfilling one area- they want to know they have a best friend, a life partner, a business partner- whatever life looks like for them, they want to know that their significant other will be able to step up. They won’t usually ask for this because they aren’t always the most open about expressing their own needs, out of a desire to make their partner happy- as well as they can understand that setting this type of expectation can be overwhelming and might even drive their partner away. They just pay attention and hold out hope to see the signs that their partner is up for the challenge in the future, and keeps their fingers crossed it will work out.

ESTJ: To be cared for as much as they are respected.

ESTJs are efficient, practical, and love to take the lead in all aspects of their lives. They are incredible organizers and planners who can easily see the most straight-forward way to achieve their goals- and they usually won’t listen to other’s opinions if they disagree. Though most would assume that the secret thing they want is to be respected- but this is not a secret by any means. ESTJs value respect in all their interactions and relationships, and won’t accept anything less. However, even when they are fully respected by their partner, there is a part of the ESTJ that also wants to be cared for just as much- though they won’t say it out loud or admit to it if asked due to the fear of appearing to be weak or emotional. Despite the way they present themselves, ESTJs still have a softer side that they don’t like to access often, and yet they still feel that desire to have their significant other take care of them and loved emotionally- and they hope that their partner will do this without them having to ask for it.

ISTJ: Someone to take the entire relationship as seriously as them, start to finish.

ISTJs are not ones to send mixed signals or beat around the bush with their intentions. When they enter into a relationship, it essentially feels like a contract- and they take it just as seriously. They don’t choose partners lightly and if they find someone who has captured their attention, it’s because they can see a real future with them. They only ask that their partner be loyal, respectful of their routines/traditions, and to always be honest with them. Yet even when the relationship is going well, the ISTJ really wants to know that their partner takes this relationship just as seriously as they do- though they won’t exactly ask for it out loud. The ISTJ is more than fine with communicating their thoughts and opinions on situations, however they know that dating relationships, even when serious, still aren’t a guarantee of forever- and though they would love to know 100% that their partner is on the same page with them, they know this is a very strong expectation to put on the relationship, and that logically it might put too much pressure on it at the end of the day.

ENFJ: Someone who will willingly open up about their pasts, secrets, and feelings.

ENFJs are incredibly open and nurturing- they love to provide for their loved ones in any possible way they are able to. They are incredible at picking up on vibes and cues from those they care for- able to tell when they’re having an off day or when they need some space, as well as when they need to talk things out. ENFJs aren’t ones to shy away from the person they want- they make it clear from the beginning if they want to enter a relationship, and if they do enter into one, they will never stop supporting their partner or stop helping them try to become a better version of themselves. Yet even when they are truly in love with their partners, ENFJs secretly want their partner to completely open up to them about everything- they’re pasts, their secrets, even their deepest fears. ENFJs truly are interested in their significant others and want to understand them as thoroughly as possible. Yet they won’t ask for this, mostly because they understand that being this open is such a huge weight to put on someone, especially if they are naturally reserved or private. They do hope in time their partner will feel comfortable doing this on their own, and the ENFJ will go out of their way to create a safe space for them to do so.

INFJ: Someone who challenges their thoughts and discusses them.

INFJs are known to value learning and empathy, and they usually are fairly private people- they prefer to daydream and brainstorm ideas and potential visions than out in the tangible world- but their minds are incredibly fascinating places to be, so it’s very understandable. Though they tend to be pretty guarded and don’t allow too many people in, if they meet someone who takes the time to break through their walls, establishes their trustworthy, and is open-minded, the INFJ will be pretty intrigued to give the relationship a go. Yet even if the relationship is going well, deep down the INFJ wants to have a partner who is willing to challenge their thoughts and discuss them- in a considerate way, of course. INFJs have strong moral beliefs and overall they want to know their partner is on the same page, but they also realize that there are all sorts of angles and points of view that should be taken into consideration and they don’t claim to know everything there is to know. They won’t actually ask for this because they don’t want to come off as being a disagreeable person- in fact, they’re very concerned with harmony and making their partner feel comfortable- and they don’t want to risk rocking the boat too much. Nonetheless, they still hope as time goes by their partner will feel comfortable enough to do this on their own.

ESTP: Someone to give them a place to relax after they’ve been out in the world.

ESTPs are known to be incredibly exciting and adventurous- they like to be out in the world where all the action is, and they usually don’t like to be tied down in relationships. They usually feel like being romantically involved with someone will only take up their time that they could be using exploring other possibilities- however, if they find a partner who they find interesting, who is willing to tag along on adventures with them, and doesn’t shy away from trying new things, then they’re likely to give it a chance. However, despite how well the relationship might be going, deep down the ESTP really craves having a partner who can give them a place to relax and space to unwind after they’ve been running around for a while. Though they are certainly not “stay at home” type of people, ESTPs are still human, and even they get burned out and exhausted after a while (though they wouldn’t admit it). They won’t ask their partner for this because they like to believe they are more than capable and don’t actually need the rest, and they don’t want to risk appearing boring to their partner’s or to anyone else. Yet nonetheless, they hope they can end up with a partner who can see when they need a break and are more than willing to give them a place to take one- and they are just as ready to jump back out into the world again.

ISTP: Someone to give them as much independence as humanly possible.

ISTPs aren’t shy about the things they want- they just don’t feel like sharing them most of the time unless it’s necessary. They aren’t normally ones to jump into relationships due to their desire to be alone and have their own space, yet this doesn’t mean they never find partners that they truly are invested in. ISTPs are known to be great problem solvers and hands-on experience types of people, and they enjoy exploring and trying new things whenever they’re given the chance, and it takes a particular kind of partner to make them decide they want to enter into a relationship. Yet even when they find someone who does seem to respect all their wants and needs, there is still a secret part of them that wants their partner to give them as much space/independence as possible. It’s not that they don’t want to be around their significant other- they just are their most comfortable and in their element whenever they’re doing things on their own, without feeling tied down. They won’t actually ask this of their partner because they are aware that it slightly defeats the purpose of a relationship if you barely ever interact with the other person- but they still hope their partner can pick up on their need for space and still give it to them every once in a while.

ESFP: Someone to be just as passionate about life as they are.

ESFPs are incredibly charismatic and excited about connecting with the world them- particularly with the people around them. Though they usually tend to date more on the casual side of things (there are so many interesting people, and so many people interested in them) and they don’t want to miss out on any options that might come their way. Yet if they do happen to form a particularly strong connection with someone who is open, friendly, and willing to go with the flow, they’ll likely be inclined to pursue the person full course to see where they might end up. However, even if the relationship is going well, the ESFP secretly wants to see their partner be just as passionate about something as they are about, well, everything. ESFPs may have a reputation of wanting the spotlight, but they also hold a deep amount of compassion and support for the loved ones in their lives, and they truly want to see their partner have the same spark inside of them that the ESFP does- and they’ll be more than willing to encourage and support their partner in that. The ESFP won’t ask for this because despite their belief that everyone has to be passionate about something they know if you have to force someone to be passionate, it’s not really genuine, so what’s the point? They also don’t want to pressure their partner into responding to something in the same way they do, so at the end of the day, they’ll just try to encourage their partner subtly and hope to see that passionate side of them eventually.

ISFP: Someone to break past their deeply set walls and appreciate their artistic/softer side.

ISFPs are incredibly creative and private people- and they honestly prefer it that way. ISFPs usually keep everyone at a safe distance and rarely let anyone into their social circle; Yes, partially out of the fear of being hurt, yet also at the fear of not being appreciated for who they are. Most of the time ISFP’s will allow potential partners to slowly vanish because they aren’t ones to let anyone in easily- yet if they come across a person who not only is understanding and intriguing to them but is also willing to put in the time and the effort to earn their trust, then they’re likely to at least entertain the possibility and give the person a chance. However, no matter how well the relationship appears to be going, the ISFP still longs for a partner they can express all of themselves to- someone who is willing to break down all of their walls and access the side of them that they don’t let anyone else see. Despite all the hesitation and fear that they won’t be understood, the ISFP would genuinely like to share this part of themselves- but only with someone who they know they can trust 100%. They won’t ask this of their partner, partially because they like to keep their thoughts to themselves, but they also realize how much they are asking of their partner, and it can be a ton of pressure to place on someone’s shoulders. Though they’ll still place some amount of distance, they still hold out hope that they’ll come across a person who isn’t afraid to gently expose this side of them- though they doubt it will actually happen.

ENTJ: Someone to help them unearth their romantic/emotional side.

ENTJs get a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to relationships- mostly because they usually seem very goal-oriented, spend a great deal of time working on projects, and can come off as incredibly blunt or harsh when they try to communicate things to people. ENTJs certainly aren’t ones to settle when selecting a partner- they want someone that matches the standards they’ve set for themselves in their minds, as well as someone who is actually going somewhere; preferably in the exact same direction they are. ENTJs aren’t shy about going after what they want, and they aren’t afraid to pursue someone in hopes of entering into a relationship with them. Yet even when they truly are enjoying their relationship and see it going somewhere, there is still a secret part of them that wants their partner to unearth their softer side that they like to keep hidden. Most of the time, ENFJs want to project a strong air of confidence and refuse to look emotional or weak in any way- yet when it comes to their relationships, they genuinely want to feel comfortable enough to let that side of them show- though they won’t ever ask this of their partner or admit to it if confronted with the idea. They want to continue to project the idea that they are strong, capable leaders who only use logic, yet they still hope that their partner can still find a way to see past this at some point.

INTJ: Someone who understands them on an intellectual level and emphasizes it before any other.

INTJs know that relationships require multiple levels in order to thrive- physical, emotional, mental, etc. They like to have their space and tend to be pretty self-critical, which can cause them to take a very long time to find a partner they truly want to be with. As long as they have a partner who respects their space, is honest with them, and is interested in growing within the relationship, things will go smoothly for the INTJ. Yet deep down, the INTJ secretly hopes that their partner will prioritize the mental connection they have over the other aspects of the relationship- because this is where the INTJ places their focus. INTJs are always wanting to learn and grow in their knowledge of things around them, and they know they can’t continue a relationship with someone who doesn’t see value in learning things. Yet truly, they hope their significant other will take it to the next level and value this connection above the others (emotional and physical) because of how important the INTJ finds it themselves. They won’t ask this of their partner directly because they understand that this isn’t typically where most people place their focus, but they still hold out hope that their partner will pick up on this either way.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/

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50 Wedding Guests Reveal The Red Flag During The Ceremony That Hinted The Relationship Wouldnt Last

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50 Wedding Guests Reveal The Red Flag During The Ceremony That Hinted The Relationship Wouldnt Last

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Cataloged in Romance

50 Wedding Guests Reveal The Red Flag During The Ceremony That Hinted The Relationship Wouldn’t Last

January Nelson Updated December 19, 2018

If you notice any of these red flags from Ask Reddit on your wedding day, do not say, “I do.”

1. During the vows, the bride laughed at the “for richer or poorer” part and wouldn’t say it. Somehow they’re still going strong. I sure hope he never loses his job.

2. Groom was making out with a bridesmaid while his new bride proceeded to get black-out drunk and cry in the corner.

3. The groom refused to get dressed and wore a black t-shirt and sneakers. The bride looked incredible in her gown and he looked like he was popping to the shops for a pack of ciggies.

4. It was a dual wedding. That’s right folks, TWO sets of my friends got married at the same time. I thought it was stupid and neither marriage would last two years.

I was right.

5. The groom wouldn’t stop talking about the marriage like it was a prison sentence. He incessantly went on about how it was the end of his freedom and how he was going to be tied down to “the ball and chain” now. They were divorced in just under a year.

6. I was best man at my mate’s wedding. The bride hit on me.

7. The groom spent the almost the entire wedding glued to his (female) work colleague, to the point that the bride had to drag him away for their first dance. They also kept going off somewhere together (a friend tried to follow them outside but it was too dark to locate them). You could see the obvious hurt on the bride’s face throughout the day.

Prior to the wedding he’d taken his colleague away abroad for his stag ‘do (just the two of them, despite the bride’s protests), and in his wedding speech he pointed his colleague out and told her that he’d had “the best time of his life” that weekend.

They’re still together at the moment but I don’t see it being the happy ending that the bride was so desperate for.

8. The bride and groom got in an argument post-reception and the bride ran away.

It was in a small town in the middle of nowhere but we ran around all night trying to find her. What an adventure.

9. The father of the bride made a speech about how he saw his daughter ‘organizing’ the groom over time. Basically, instead of telling a story of their burgeoning love, it was a tale of how she began to control him over time. Was cringey. Lasted 3 years.

10. The bride-to-be of my friend would not let him participate in the entire bachelor party. It wasn’t even a risqué itinerary: more of just a guy’s night with drinking and poker and such. So we essentially had his stag without him.

11. Groom was sending texts to a very uninterested bridesmaid all night. Groom was also more interested in getting wasted with his buddies than being with the bride. There were also red flags BEFORE the wedding. No surprise they were divorced in less than a year.

12. The bride did not smile, neither during the ceremony nor during the reception. She never cracked a smile.

13. In my friend’s vows he was talking about her eyes which were blue and he called them green.

14. The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple hundred people, said, “Can you believe that just two months ago, (bride’s name) was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!” Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.

15. Attended a very big, very religious wedding of a 21-year-old bride and a 22-year-old groom. They lied about where they met (it was on Tinder). During a round of truth or dare with the groom and his members of the wedding party the night before, he admitted his biggest love language is touch, but that his SO hated to express affection physically. All he wanted was to be cuddled sometimes, and she’d refuse.

He said he hoped it got better after they were married.

All the groomsmen made frantic eye contact and changed the subject.

They’re still married, as of a year later but PSA, guys: nothing “gets better” after you get married. That’s still your partner, that’s still your relationship.

16. The best man, the groom’s lifelong best friend, was gay. And I mean GAAY. All but one of the groomsmen were gay.

A few years after the wedding, the groom’s father died. Within a week of the funeral, he told her it wasn’t working and moved in with the best man.

Everyone did their best to act shocked.

17. She said “I do” while looking the guy she’d been in love with for a very long time straight in the eyes…

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t her soon-to-be husband.

Didn’t last a year.

18. Was at the wedding of an ex girlfriend who married young. (20) Husband got into a drunk fistfight with his groomsmen at the reception. I left after she threw her wedding ring at him.

19. The bride and groom didn’t hang out the entire wedding.

20. When the judge asked if anyone had any objections, and their newborn daughter began to scream like a banshee. A few years passed of constant fighting, she finally reveals the daughter wasn’t really his, they try to stick it out for about a year, and finally a divorce. Everyone always joked about the newborn’s objection. She was really just trying to warn them, I suppose.

21. The father of the groom brings up divorce in his speech as he was officiating the wedding.

22. There was a part of the ceremony where the bride and groom were kneeling at the altar. On the bottom of the groom’s shoes were two pieces of tape that read “HELP” and “ME” on them.

Never was clear whether he put them there or was pranked by his groomsmen, but it felt like an omen. They lasted less than a year.

23. The groom gives this speech during the reception about the wife being subservient to the husband and how it says this in the bible. The bride sorta jokes about how he’s dreaming and he very seriously is like no that is what is gonna happen…..

Divorced within 6 months

24. The groom spent almost all of his speech talking about his best man.

25. A friend was a bridesmaid in a wedding… When they said, “You may kiss the bride” the groom leaned in… When she went to kiss him he pulled away and pointed and laughed at her.

Also was flirting aggressively with the maid of honor.

Divorced within a year. No one was surprised.

26. The bride didn’t look happy to be walking down the aisle. She was smiling but it was very much a pasted on smile that I assumed was because she was nervous. Found out at the wedding that her parents had offered to pay for the big wedding or pay for a small wedding then give them the money for a down payment for a house. She wanted the wedding. Where we live the housing market is insanely competitive and this was at the peak of the housing prices right before the crash. Her parents basically offered her the ability to jump start their lives together, she turned it down for the big party with her as the center of attention.

It was over within 2 years. She didn’t even seem upset about it.

27. Went to a wedding of my wife’s coworker. She was the sweetest person and her fiancee was a total slob. Just a cocky, out of shape, burnt out frat guy. Had told her to her face about all the girls he’d slept with and how he’d had perfect weeks where he’d slept with a different girl every night. Pretty sure this was a bad technique to try and make her stick around and think he was desirable. Then at the wedding drinks so much (remember really big guy) he passed out before anyone has left and she has to take him to their hotel room passed out and doesn’t get to finish her own wedding or have a wedding night. I feel so sad for her.

28. Attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he is, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her and how that made everything perfect.

29. Groom was clearly having a good time, bride was visibly uncomfortable. When it came time for vows the groom had a long list and read it off nicely. The bride said something along the lines of, “I’m just gonna wing it — basically you’re my best friend,” and trailed off soon after. Thank god for the open bar.

30. The groom forgot the bride’s name during his toast to her and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.

31. When the “ex-girlfriend” stood up to object with a pregnancy stick in her hand. Positive it’s you, she said.

32. The groom had the ring in his pocket but forgot which one and the bride visually annoyed said, “That’s the kind of guy I’m marrying.”

They divorced within the year.

33. I was a groomsman. The groom was nowhere to be found as the night was winding up. The intoxicated bride, whom I’d met maybe 3 times prior, asked me to dance. Then she said to me: “When I masturbate, I think of you.” That was the first time she ever expressed interest in me.

They had 3 kids in five years. Both caught each other cheating on the other. Divorced at the 5-year mark.

34. The groom wanted to delay the wedding so they could do a last minute Taco Bell run.

They were divorced within 18 months.

35. At the end of the ceremony she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit – tight and purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said, “Oh, I didn’t know we were dressing up.” She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust. They separated six months later.

36. I saw the newly married couple step out of an elevator, and he accidentally stepped on her dress. She snapped and turned around, yelling “Do that again and see what happens!

He was stone-faced and without saying anything, immediately went to the bar for a beer.

37. The husband slept with one of the bridesmaids a week before the wedding.

38. The groom was madly in love with his fiancé (as one would hope), always got the vibe she just wasn’t that… into it. During the wedding he was so nervous he stuttered. Bride rolled her eyes and looked pissed. Then later in the night after dinner and music had started, the bride got annoyed people weren’t staying in their allocates seats. They had a “wishing well” for presents. We added our anonymous gift with a card and thought that was that. One week later get an abusive call that we did not put in. This ended up getting so bad it tore down multiple friendships for the groom. Bride wanted enough money to buy a house. Turns out bride was cheating on him the whole time, with someone who was also married.

39. At the reception there is a local tradition for the groomsmen to ‘steal the bride’, basically they do a quick barhop and come back to continue the reception. My husband was a groomsman, and as more than an hour passed, I finally called him. He said she was having a blast and wouldn’t leave. The groom had arrived back after about 30 minutes, laughed it off at first, then relief when she finally blew back in totally smashed. They made it about 2 months after that.

40. Groom hated the bride’s family, groom’s family didn’t approve of the bride. Very awkward at a wedding! Bride makes her promises (something along the lines of “I promise to try and be worthy of your family” etc) and we all raise eyebrows at each other. Groom’s speech is all about how much he has helped his bride change for the better and how he ‘made her what she is’. Eyebrows are practically falling off the top of my head at this point. It’s been a few months so I guess we will wait and see…I just thought it was very controlling.

41. Went to a wedding for one of my older (male) cousins who has two sisters about my age. Apparently the bride talked to the oldest sister (whom the groom was very close to) and said something like, “Just so you know, you’re not the most important girl in his life anymore. I am.”

Can’t wait to see how this one plays out.

42. It was my wedding. The groom stopped the entire ceremony (which was held at our place) so he could watch The Simpsons. There was no discussion about this beforehand, he just did it.

No, we are not still married. Shocking, I know.

43. She posted on Facebook that it was “the worst day of her life.”

44. The groom said the wrong name during the vows.

45. Bride told me and my partner a few weeks earlier that she didnt want to go through with it. She had generic vows, husbands were beautiful. She had a sour face the whole time, it was almost funny. It ended up turning out that she was shagging my partner the last year and she left her husband for him 4 months in. I dodged a bullet.

46. Older guy marrying a young Eastern European. The groom’s friend said at the reception “This party is great. I hope I get invited to the one next year.” The guy had been married a few times before.

47. I’m the keyboard player for a wedding band so I’ve seen all sorts of ridiculous shit at weddings that would qualify as a red flag. That said, one stands above the rest: the groom aggressively grinding on 2 of the bridesmaids (simultaneously); one of which was the bride’s sister.

48. My cousin’s wedding: he was in the Army, his bride was 6 months pregnant, a senior in high school, and she had just turned 18 the previous day. Her grandfather was the officiant and he gave a big speech about how marriage was only between one man and one woman and no one can tear apart what God puts together. They opened their gifts in front of everyone like it was a birthday party. There was no alcohol, dancing, or food. Within 30-40 minutes after the gift opening the “happy” couple peeled out of the Boy Scout lodge, doing donuts while her teenage friends cheered them on. They spent the night at the hotel everyone was staying at – separately – which consisted of him getting shitfaced with his friends while she was alone in their room. In front of our entire family my sister said “I give them a year.” She was wrong though.

Within 3 months of the kid coming they had split and my cousin swears the kid isn’t his. The whole wedding was one giant fucking red flag.

49. The other day a coworker told me about a wedding she was just in the bridal party for – the groom and his mother were counting out how much each family gave as a cash gift and giving the bride grief because her family wasn’t able to give as much as the grooms family. I feel like that’s an insanely bad way to start a marriage.

50. At my brothers first wedding his fiance’s dad came into the room we were using to get ready and told my brother that if he wanted to leave that he would take care of all the people Inside and he wouldn’t even be mad.

My brother did it anyway. Divorced 4 months later.

Image Credit: Ieva Vizule

is cataloged in Divorces, Red Flags, Wedding

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Geek Squad and the FBI have a decade-long relationship

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Geek Squad and the FBI have a decade-long relationship

More like Narc Squad.

Image: Tim Boyle/Getty

Who needs probable cause when you have geeks?

That appears to be the thinking of the FBI, which has been working with Best Buy’s computer repair service Geek Squad for at least a decade. And we’re not talking about geeks fixing Bureau computers.

SEE ALSO: The FBI has a ‘huge’ problem with your smartphone

Instead, according to documents obtained by the Electronic Frontier Foundation, the law enforcement agency has paid Geek Squad employees to act as informants and report potentially illegal content found on customers’ computers. What’s more, in at least one case it appeared that an employee may have proactively searched a computer for suspicious content — as opposed to just reporting what he or she inadvertently stumbled across.

Notably, the same documents — obtained via a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit — suggest that the FBI does not straight-up instruct Geek Squad employees to perform these searches. However, as the EFF writes, documents show that the employees received financial rewards for finding child pornography on customer machines. This, of course, could incentivize those searches.

Coming for you.

Image: Tim Boyle/Getty

The relationship between the FBI and the geeks goes back to at least 2008, and has previously been the focus of media attention. In 2017 the Washington Post reported on the case of a Geek Squad employee finding suspicious material on a surgeon’s computer, and turning that information over the FBI. That led to a raid and the discovery of “thousands of images of child pornography.”

At the time, Best Buy confirmed to the paper that its Geek Squad employees “inadvertently discover” similar material on computers around 100 times a year — but denied that those employees were actively seeking it out.

“As a company, we have not sought or received training from law enforcement in how to search for child pornography,” the statement read in part. “Our policies prohibit employees from doing anything other than what is necessary to solve the customer’s problem.”

However, the documents obtained by the EFF show that Best Buy played host to the FBI’s Cyber Working Group at a company repair facility. So take that for what you will.

While much ambiguity remains in just how closely Best Buy and Geek Squad work with the FBI and in what exact capacity, it is clear that if you’re doing illegal stuff on your computer your best bet isn’t sending it off to the Geeks for repair.

And, in the end, we probably shouldn’t be surprised that the Geek Squad is narcing out its customers — after all, have you seen its commercials? The actors have badges.

WATCH: The U.S. Government Accuses Two Chinese Phone Makers of Spying on Americans – Here’s Why We Think It’s Bullsh*t

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Esports still has a troubling relationship with women

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/esports-still-has-a-troubling-relationship-with-women/

Esports still has a troubling relationship with women

Ask Los Angeles Gladiators player Lane “Surefour” Roberts what his favorite pastime is, and he’ll tell you it’s looking at girls.

At least, that’s what Surefour said during a Blizzard Entertainment media event, after which theOverwatch League athlete decided to tweet about it.

“Blizzard media day and they asked me what my favorite thing to do was,” Surefour posted yesterday afternoon, “I said look at girls on Instagram. They said they couldn’t use that.”

Blizzard media day and they asked me what my favorite thing to do was and I said look at girls on Instagram. They said they couldn't use that.

— Lane (@Surefour) January 24, 2019

There’s thirsty on main, and then there’s Surefour, who is out, proud, and loud about his love for women. A quick search through his Twitter history for the word “girl” brings up over half a dozen tweets that can best be described as “horny on main.” Another search for the phrase “women” brings up similar tweets, this time asking followers to link him to “beautiful women.”

“It’s a good thing anime girls don’t have twitter accounts,” Surefour posted last May while talking about his thirst follows. Another tweet reads, “beautiful girls will be my demise.”

For men, or at least certain kinds of men, these tweets are funny. But for women, it makes us feel like objects, as if Surefour sees women around him as nothing but for sex. That’s not to say Surefour can’t ever express his love for women publicly, but there’s a difference between, saying he wants to cosplay so he can “pretend to be a cute anime girl” and randomly thirst tweeting about goth girls and cat girls. The former is wholesome and fun. The latter just feels like he just tweeted you his current porn search.

After Thursday’s tweet, women in the esports journalism world began criticizing Surefour, myself included. One tweet, in particular, stuck out to me:Rock Paper Shotgun weekend editor Jay Castello argued there’s a double standard between straight men and queer folks openly talking about their sexuality in esports.

“Please compare the reaction to straight esports pros tweeting about how much they like staring at hot women vs, say, SonicFox tweeting ‘i’m gay,’” Castello, who’s queer, wrote. “I like hot women too; guess what happens when I talk about it?”

I have drunk Some Wine so I can't be eloquent about this but please compare the reaction to straight esports pros tweeting about how much they like staring at hot women vs, say, SonicFox tweeting "i'm gay"

— Jay Castello

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Bo Derek and John Corbett reveal secret behind their lasting relationship in Hollywood

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Bo Derek and John Corbett reveal secret behind their lasting relationship in Hollywood

Bo Derek and John Corbett have been together for 15 years without ever walking down the aisle, but the couple insisted they don’t need rings to prove their love is real. (Reuters)

Bo Derek and John Corbett have been together for 15 years without ever walking down the aisle, but the couple insisted they don’t need rings to prove their love is real.

The pair revealed to Closer Weekly Saturday the secret behind their lasting relationship has been spending quality time with each other away from Hollywood whenever possible.

“We both travel so much, so for us, our favorite vacation place is home,” explained Derek, 61. “That’s where the romance is.”

“We enjoy each other’s company; we make each other laugh,” added Corbett, 56. “After 15 years we still hold hands; we still have barbecues with friends a couple times a week. [And Bo] still laughs at all my jokes even though she’s heard them a million times. We just enjoy each other. I’m sad when she’s not around.”

However, there’s more to their bond than just keeping their romance indoors within their 10.5 acre property. Corbett, who’s still recognized by fans as Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend Aiden Shaw on the hit HBO series “Sex and the City,” told Fox News in August 2017 that faith has kept him grounded over the years.

“I went to Catholic school for 12 years and I was an altar boy for about seven of those years,” he explained. “I spent a lot of time behind the scenes in churches.”

In the ‘80s, he dabbled in born-again Christianity before returning to his Catholic roots.

“I have a strong belief in God,” he explained, adding he describes himself as a “gospel and brunch kind of guy.”

“Nothing says I love you Jesus more than gospel music and mashed ‘potaters.’”

On Our Radar

Where is ‘Christmas Story’ kid now?

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Madonna says phones ruined her relationship with her kids what about your family?

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Madonna says phones ruined her relationship with her kids what about your family?

Do you have to call your children seven times before they come to the dinner table? Do you have a system to limit their usage? Tell us about your battles

Madonna said in a recent interview: I made a mistake when I gave my older children phones when they were 13. The 60-year-old American singer, who has six children, said: It ended my relationship with [my children], really. Not completely, but it became a very, very big part of their lives.

According to Pew Research data, 95% of American teens now report they have a smartphone or access to one and 45% of teens now say they are online on a near-constant basis.

We want to know: what age was your child when you gave them a phone, and did it change your relationship with them? If so, how? You can send us your answers below:

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The US-Israeli relationship faces a storm on the horizon | Michael H Fuchs

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The US-Israeli relationship faces a storm on the horizon | Michael H Fuchs

One version is all sunshine and rainbows the other, a deepening extremism in both countries. And these two vastly different versions are struggling to co-exist

The split-screen images of Israeli and US officials smiling at the opening of the American embassy in Jerusalem, while Israel killed Gazans just miles away, reflected a striking indifference by leaders in the United States and Israel to the consequences of the occupation of Palestinian territories. And, despite the paeans that the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, and the White House senior adviser, Jared Kushner, paid to the strength of the ties between the two countries, those images highlighted a rot eating away at the US-Israel relationship.

Even before the violence in Gaza and the embassy opening, on my trip to Israel last week, the duality of the US-Israel relationship was stark.

As I stood in the Golan Heights on the border with Syria, it was easy to see the value of the partnership. Just one day earlier, the Iron Dome missile defense system (developed jointly by the US and Israel) had protected Israel from rockets fired from Iranian bases in Syria.

Just a few days before, as I stood in an Israeli settlement in the Palestinian city of Hebron, it was difficult to understand how the United States can provide support for the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) that protect Israelis committing illegal acts in taking Palestinian land in some cases acts that are condemned even by Israeli courts.

These two experiences were emblematic of two vastly different versions of the US-Israel relationship trying and increasingly struggling to coexist.

One version of the US-Israel relationship is all sunshine and rainbows: deep political and military bonds between governments, extensive trade, special ties between peoples, and Americas backing for the historical justice of safeguarding a democratic homeland for the Jewish people.

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‘Enough is enough’: UN condemns Israel as Palestinians bury their dead video report

The other version of the relationship is one of deepening polarization in both countries: the rightwing Israeli government cozies up to US Republicans and pursues extreme policies, while American views of Israel are increasingly divided along partisan lines.

Israel wants to be judged on its thriving democracy and economy, for which it deserves real credit. But one cannot ignore Israels military occupation of the West Bank and blockade of Gaza where a combined almost 5 million Palestinians live. Government-supported settlements in the West Bank are expanding, slowly taking over Palestinian land in what appears to be a creeping annexation.

In America, views of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict are more partisan than theyve been since 1978, according to one study, which revealed that 79% of Republicans say their sympathies lie more with Israel than with the Palestinians, while only 27% of Democrats are more sympathetic to Israel. Another study revealed that, while a large majority of Democrats see Israel as a strategic asset, 55% of Democrats also see Israel as a strategic burden, and 60% of Democrats believe the United States should impose sanctions or take serious action in response to Israeli settlements.

The political fight in the United States over the Iran nuclear deal illustrates the partisan divide. In 2015 there was a Democratic uproar when the Republicans invited the Israeli prime minister to speak to Congress in opposition to the Iran nuclear deal being pushed by a Democratic president. This growing link between Israeli and American rightwing parties was reinforced by Netanyahus recent presentation supposedly showing Irans previous nuclear ambitions, which was just days later referenced by Donald Trump as justification for violating the deal.

The same goes for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Trump is backing Netanyahus government with hardly a critical word of Israeli activity towards the Palestinians. The embassy move is a case in point it gains nothing for the United States, makes it impossible for the Palestinians to view this administration as a neutral mediator for peace talks, and stoked violence.

Israel has genuine security concerns, and the second intifada left deep scars on the Israeli psyche. For Israelis who remember wondering each day if their children were going to be killed by a suicide bomber on the way to school, the occupation allows Israelis to keep the Palestinians out of sight and out of mind. This is no small part of the reason why rightwing parties promising security have run Israel for almost two decades now.

The relationship could become unrecognizable, with a hyper-partisan segment of America supporting an Israel that has lost much of its claim to democracy. Photograph: Scott Olson/Getty Images

But Israel cannot remain a democracy in the long run while continuing to rule millions of Palestinians who do not have any say in their governance. As I stood in the settlement in Hebron next to a young Israeli soldier guarding Israeli settlers, it was clear that while Israel is good at solving short-term problems say, protecting Israeli settlers it is not good at figuring out long-term solutions, like preventing Israel from becoming a perpetual occupier.

As one Israeli journalist told me in response to a discussion of the myriad challenges facing Israel, well schlep through. Surely, the US-Israel relationship will also schlep through but what kind of relationship will it be?

On my trip, I repeatedly heard the claim that fewer American Jews support Israel because they are moving away from Judaism, not because of Israeli policies towards Palestinians. As an American Jew who strongly supports Israel, but not necessarily Israels policies, this deeply offended me. Instead of criticizing American Jews for how they choose to live their personal lives, Israelis should recognize that, whatever the reason, falling support for Israel among a younger generation of American Jews will fracture the US-Israel relationship.

Fueling the fire in America are radicals such as Sheldon Adelson, who funds the largest Israeli daily newspaper Israel Today to support a rightwing agenda, and who has offered to pay for the new US embassy in Jerusalem. The Trump administration chose Pastor Robert Jeffress as one of the speakers at the opening of the Jerusalem embassy the same Jeffress who once said: Mormonism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism they lead people to an eternity of separation from God in hell.

There are no obvious perfect solutions. But if the United States and Israel dont work together to confront longer-term trends, the relationship could become unrecognizable, with a hyper-partisan segment of America supporting an Israel that has lost much of its claim to democracy. And that would be devastating for both countries.

Michael H Fuchs is a contributing opinion writer for the Guardian US. He is also a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress, and a former deputy assistant secretary of state for east Asian and Pacific affairs

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