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SOI 2023 Special Edition: Yuzu-Cut Part 2

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Would you like me to tell you about BPD?

Would you like me to tell you about BPD? This is borderline personality disorder. It borders on a psychiatric clinic. Like you're not normal anymore, but not bad enough yet. In Wikipedia, you can read about the accompanying mood swings, about other symptoms - a lot of things.

And I'll tell you what it is.

Everything you feel is not real (but it's not certain)

That was your average day. You did business here, you did business there, you messed around, you had fun, you walked the dogs… you got a little tired and came home. He went in, patted the dog behind the ear, put the keys under the mirror and …

Everything is terrible. Disgustingly bleak and hopeless. You are squeezed dry, you would hate every breath you take if there was strength for hatred. You slumped down to the floor and closed your eyes. Let it all end now. That's it, simple. Are you tired. Just tired.

You have sawdust from the cat's tray again under your feet - the dogs have taken it away. A stink wafts from the garbage bag waiting in line to be taken out. You just want silence - and one of the dogs jumps on you while another slobbering muzzle pokes your hand. Bitch! Fucked up! Get off me! Notification? Fuck you, notification and burn in hell whoever called it! I'll smash my phone against the wall! Again, you have a dick in your room, understand what ?! Which of you, big-nosed scum, spilled a bucket of water?! Bitchcats dropped a vase with carefully dried flowers, sprinkled again. It's annoying, it's annoying, it's annoying!

You are happy with your dogs. And also a cat sitting and blinking its eyes at the mirror. They greet you so joyfully - and everything else becomes unimportant. What soft fur they have, how good and wonderful they are, God, how good it is to finally be at home!

Nothing. You're just a little tired and sleepy. He stroked the dogs, poked the cats in the mustachioed noses, fed everyone and sat for a while in the kitchen playing a game or a simple serial for an hour - you can sleep. Sweet dreams)

You want to have time to do a couple more things, and the fatigue in the body is pleasant and warming - a couple of very small things: to vacuum the corridor or wash some of the dishes. then - to the bathroom, write some post or monitor the feed. You will watch the series until midnight again and fall asleep, immersed in the plot of your novel, which is just in the process.

Which of these states will be real? Will any of them be real? You sit exhausted at the door - you don’t even have the strength to take off your shoes. Is it time to change something in your life or “sleep and it will pass”? Is it really hard and bad for you and you can't cope or is BPD fucking? How to understand where the truth is - everything feels the same real, real, real and truthful. And if so … then which of the feelings you experience are yours? How do you really react to the world? For events? For the situation?

What are you? Who are you? Is this "you" still around?

What do you like? What are you striving for? Will you be just as excited about this idea a second later? What do you want to do?

Where do you want to go?

Do you want … But do you need to? Is there any reason? What you do is the result of a habit. You seem to have loved Japanese and Japan all your life, so you keep doing it. You seem to have been fond of this sport and these athletes for seven years now. So we continue purely out of habit.

Is your life really in need of change, or are you just feeling bad about BPD and these conditions don't matter? There is nothing you can vouch for that you want it, dream about it and love it. You are empty. No. You have nothing to say about yourself. You. Don't. Feel. Yourself. For you, you are not. Joy is fleeting and leaves no memories. Grief is destructive and has no significance, weight and meaning (it will pass when you sleep or eat).

Empty. 空っぽ。

#BPD #Borderline personality disorder

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First meeting

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The maned wolf, aka long legg

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Asakusa in the morning

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Sky Queen vs. the Pesky Fish that keeps getting into trouble!

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Seung Uk Hong  -  https://www.facebook.com/people/%ED%99%8D%EC%8A%B9%EC%9A%B1/100001499134959  -   https://www.instagram.com/hongsi84

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Tomoki Hiwatashi, Four Continents 2019

↳ FS: Fate of the Gods (159.84)

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Woraya Chotikul  -  http://www.kaifineart.com/2014/08/woraya-chotikulcotton-valent.html  -  https://th-th.facebook.com/woraya.chotikul  -  http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=1251665  -  http://meawbin.tumblr.com  -  https://twitter.com/horrormove  -  http://horrormove.cgsociety.org  -  https://www.facebook.com/CottonGallery

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javi

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“You are a fool, man of God,” he said. “You never understood.” Konstantin said, in a blood-filled whisper, “I never understood what?” “That I do keep faith, in my own fashion,” said the Bear. A twist of his lips.                                                                                 “I   d i d   l o v e   y o u r   h a n d s.”

The Winter of the Witch » Katherine Arden

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Countless medals and achievements for his country and skating, happy retirement Javi! Thanks for everything. Watercolor painting by me, 5 hours. 

Reference image: https://www.marca.com/en/more-sports/2018/01/19/5a625540e5fdeaae5a8b4690.html