nightmarepotato-blog

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a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay

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Fun Facts About The Nightmare Before Christmas Movie pt 1

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osointricate:

Adulting tips from an adult who doesn’t adult good:

Keep two separate dirty clothes bins. One for clothes. One for towels. That way you won’t have to dig out towels from a mountain of clothes you can just wash a load when you are desperate.

Anything with “pet deodorizer” in the cleaning label can be poured down the sink to kill bad odors kill gnats.

Try to change your sheets twice a month. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t. 

Start a decent first aid/OTC pharmacy when you have some money left over. Disinfectant, aspirin, allergy meds, Etc. You never know when A) you can’t afford a doc atm or B) you can’t get yourself to go to the doc or C) both or D) your idiot friend just decided to snowboard off your roof. This doesn’t have to be a priority.

At some point you’ll have to buy a thermometer. Don’t buy the cheapest one, it won’t last past the second cold of the year.

Get a clock that runs on batteries because lol you will lose power at some point.

On that note, if you have room, get some kind of ice chest/cooler because you will lose power at some point, and while your freezer will remain nice and cold for a day or so, your fridge will not so the ice chest will come in handy because you can always replace the ice but your milk will go sour.

Also on this note: buy a flash light and slowly and surely never throw away a candle. Ever. Ever. Ever. Unless it’s done and then you have my permission. The first time you have to take a shower without power in the dark you’ll thank me.

Also bic lighters are cheap and easy and jfc you have to light candles somehow.

Be on the look out for: cheap blankets, fans, and space heaters. Buy whenever possible. They will save your life.

Bananas go bad quick. Eat them. They are good for you.

If you have a car, keep the following things in it: a towel, a blanket, a change of socks, some cash, a flashlight, and some kind of food like a granola bar. If you have an old cell phone, keep it in there too. While old cell phones won’t have service providers, most (newer) cell phones still allow you to dial 911 despite not being connected to a service.

If you have the space (I have a garage that’s too small for my truck so I use that) and you have a in-home washer/dryer, hang clothes to dry. A) easier on clothes so clothes last longer B) less electricity = less money & less energy usage.

Dryer sheets + rugs = getting out pet hair

Dryer sheets + hair = gets rid of fly-a-ways. (Scented dryer sheets = makes ur hair smell good.)

Towel on a cookie baking sheet = ironing board (I’ve also heated up a skillet and used it as an iron in a frantic last minute freak out)

Keep extra toilet paper within arms reach of the toilet

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In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do

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I want someone to write a book where Mermaids are the women thrown off ships when the sailors got afraid because having a woman on the boat is bad luck. And as they sink to the bottom, legs tied together, they change slowly until they can breathe, until they can use their tied up legs to swim. And they drown sailors in revenge, luring them in by singing in their husky voices still stinging from the salt water they breathed. 

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From Andrew to Moriarty in 5 seconds [X]

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when did tumblr collectively decide not to use punctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing

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Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

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I’M LAUGHING SO HARD, JESUS CHRIST TAVROS WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE DANCE MOVES FROM EVEN I CAN’T

Nevertheless,

(I’m sure this isn’t epitome of awesome cause we’re yet to see Vriska’s anger and backslash, but already loving where it starts from)

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basically if u have glasses and/or red hair u have already won my heart

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Welp.

Chris Pratt finally fucked up. Here’s the interview. 

Be warn though. Your fave is probably going to be your problematic fave now.

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Proper response to street harassment

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I remember all the Doctor Who fanfics I used to read where Rose often got badly stereotyped as a damsel in distress whom the Doctor had to swoop in and save and smooch but the way I remember Doctor Who 90% of their relationship was the Doctor just setting Rose loose on people who had done something to offend them and sitting back giggling in the corner as she shouted