"Love my terrible wife roommate who wants to kill me so, so bad. I come home from work every day and narrowly dodge one of her many death traps. When we eat dinner, I'll smile and say, "poison again?", and she will shrug mischieviously; but we both know it is very much poison."
Compilation from memory of today's cucuhalo moments
-Bad being tasked to do whatever cucurucho wants today (sus)
-Bad and cucurucho going on a federation sanctioned date (cucurucho wanted it and i guess thats how he courts people the freak)
-"How do you like the entertainment, cucurucho?" "your eyes are enough."
-Cucurucho complaining the date isnt romantic enough, to which bad obliged and ordered romantic music (careless whispers) and a rose for cucurucho (wither rose)
-Cucurucho giving bad a rose and him not noticing, to which he noticed he suddenly had one and offered it to cucurucho excitedly
-Cucurucho calling bad "BB" and "my Date"
-Cucurucho asking "Isnt this romantic?" to which bad agreed that it was
-Bad commenting after a moment alone that admittedly he missed his roommate (cucurucho) and that he thought he was sweet and was happy to see him
-Bad paying* for their dinner entirely (He told cucurucho he owns the resturaunt after cucurucho criticized him for not paying, to which cucurucho responded "GOOD." (kinky))
-As bad went AFK, cucurucho AND osito showed up and started showering him in cucurucho cakes, strawberry cakes, and notably multiple wedding cakes, and putting pics of themselves on his vault wall and hugging him
-Cucurucho tasking bad and tubbo to bring him a camera and two stacks of paper, cucurucho proceeded to take a picture of bad in front of the poster of cucurucho and posted it up in his office immediately (Notably this is the second photo of bad cucurucho has went out of his way to get just to put it up in his room/bedroom)
-(flirtatiously)"BB are you trying to buy my favor?" tubbo proceeded to desperately ask them to not give eachother favors in the resturaunt and especially not in the disabled toilet.
-(about cucurucho) "Hes always got his eyes on me, chat"
-Bad walking around cucurucho and staring DIRECTLY at his ass
-At the end of the date, cucurucho said it was good and they were going to have another one, bad agreed to this enthusiastically