northernfrownpourwhat

[northernfrownpourwhat]

I go to take Mac (Asian water monitor) out for a tour and since he’s sopping wet I want to towel him off. My boss gave me a towel with the Minions on it for this task.

So when I’m first taking him out he freezes. I’m thinking, “okay, is he stuck?” and help him down. Then I see he’s clamped onto the towel.

Eh??? Did someone wipe up rat juice with that towel? I thought it was clean. He won’t let go. I holler for my boss. “Oh sorry I forgot.” Forgot what?

“He hates the Minions. He always does that to this towel.”

So I’m explaining to the tour trying not to keel over laughing the reason we can’t take Mac out is because of his hatred for the Minions.

He eventually let go for a cockroach but that was a good 10 minutes of latching and whipping the towel. I feel you, man. I hate them too.

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Robert Downey Jr adopting EVERYONE is what I live for

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“sexy”

I tried to make a sexual identity generator but it’s glitchy and I’m not sure how to fix it.

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this has probably been done to death already

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nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

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Jurassic Park (1993) dir Steven Spielberg

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I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company. Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

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i feel like the eric andre show and sugar pine 7 have very similar chaotic energies, just with varying concentrations of said energy

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friends was gay [2/?]

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Why are Ross and Rachel so iconic when Chandler and Monica’s relationship is 50,000 times more romantic, cuter and HEALTHIER than Ross and Rachel’s?

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Me getting ready to drop an @everyone in the server at 3 am

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White boy: what are you doing now haha

Me: shower

White boy's inner monologue: you fool! You've activated my trap card, "Without me? ;)" it will send your patience card to the graveyard and dock you 1000 life points!

[northernfrownpourwhat]

i would put a meaningful quote from the season here but i dont want to spoil you but yall already know whats going on 

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