notacoward

[notacoward]

Severus shook his head. "Not long at all. A lady should take as much time as she needs to ready herself. Though, I'm sure looking as radiant you do on a daily basis takes little to no effort," he complimented, eyeing her closely.

"Let's eat," James said, stabbing some of his food with a fork. Severus eyed Lily knowingly and hid his amused smirk behind his bite. It was way too easy to wind that arsehole up.

//

"Is he always like that? So..." he trailed off, not wanting to say something to offend the lady of the house. He knew she'd probably agree with any degrading adjective he came up with, but still. He wanted to actually keep this job. If the worst he had to put up with to be around Lily and her littl eboy was James Potter, he could do that. He'd dealt with worse.

James was having drinks inside the house with his mates, and Severus took the opportunity to take a walk around the grounds. Lily had come out to join them, and he was thankful for the respite. Though he was enjoying the work, it was sometimes too bloody much to try and pretend to like the lord of the estate.

"I know your parents made you marry him, but... do you ever wish things were different? I remember when we used to sit by the little pond and talk all day long. We were sure we'd run off into the sunset, find our own island, and live happily ever after. I wonder what that area looks like now. Probably has something built on it," he muttered. A lot of the land was being bought and claimed, estates and businesses were popping up everywhere. It was good, just... different.

Some day he wanted to open his own business -- an apothecary to be precise. Lucius had offered to give him the money to get started, but he wanted to do it himself. That's why he had taken all the tutoring jobs. He was saving up, and one day he'd have enough to make his dream come true.

One day.

"Remember the butterfly we accidentally killed? I don't think I've ever cried so much in my whole life. Other than the day you left," he admitted with a sad smile. "Things were so simple back then. I wish a dead butterfly was the worst of my worries."

Lily was extra careful to hide the flash of disappointment that wanted to stretch across her face. She knew James was watching, and she didn’t need him to infer anything that wasn’t actually there.

Though it had been merely a day, being around someone with Harry who she didn’t have to worry about tattling to James or saying something against her had been surprisingly nice. She could simply talk to Severus, and he was so good with the boy. What had he already said about him having some stability in his life? Though she wouldn’t say anything against her husband, it was true.

“We all earn our keep one way or another. Better dinner than-“ Realizing she was about to say too much she glanced at Harry and shut her mouth. Her son wasn’t stupid, not in the slightest, but he was young enough to still have the innocence of childhood.

She had always believed her parents could do no wrong when she was that little too. One day he might understand but she wasn’t going to take away the few blissful years of naivety away from him. It really wasn’t proper to be talking to Severus about her husband anyway, easy as he made it from his clear dislike.

“You’ll stay for it?” It wasn’t quite a question but not quite an order, fingers lightly touching his shoulder in passing. Harry had his toys so he would be fine either playing by himself or with Severus for a bit.

~~//~~

Two sweltering hours later she had everything ready, passing the finished dishes off to the serving staff before rushing upstairs to get cleaned up. Just because James didn’t want to have a cook outside of events didn’t give her an excuse to look anything less than the lady of the house.

Not to mention she had no doubts he was going to want to show off in front of Severus. Instead of leaving the man alone so he could teach their son he had to make sure there was no competition. Remus and Sirius were different because.. well, they were his friends first.

Despite the comments his pseudo brother made, it was her responsibility to make sure she responded in the correct way. At least Remus was a little more on her side but there wasn’t much he could do except combat the accusations when they came.

Sighing she shook her head at her reflection and headed downstairs, knowing now wasn’t the time to feel sorry for herself. She had a good life here, far more than she could have without meeting James - and she wouldn’t trade Harry for anything in the world.

Both men were seated and glowering at each other over the table when she entered, so she put on her best smile and scooted Harry’s chair a little closer to her own. He could feed himself at this age of course, but she wanted to keep an eye on him so he didn’t choke - especially when it came to the pastries. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long..”

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus glanced at her, then back down at Harry's careful writing. "I don't intend to travel much, other than the odd trip back to the Manor every now and then. I don't think Harry would benefit from me flitting in and out. A child needs stability," he said. Unlike his father, he thought bitterly to himself. He understood the man was busy, but good God, he didn't appreciate what he had. If Severus were in his position, you'd have to physically pry him away from these two.

"Look, Severus!"

The man did as he was told and nodded. "Well done, Harry. I'm proud of you. Your name looks so good written like that."

Harry beamed and looked over at Lily, his toothy grin giving everything away. Turning his attention back down to his writing, he went through yet another exercise Severus had given him. He was a quick learner, and Severus was truly impressed. But then again, he was Lily's son. He absolutely knew where he got it from.

They continued working for another hour, and eventually Harry wanted to take a mental break and play a little bit. Severus crossed a leg over the other as he and Lily watched him mess about with his toys. For being seemingly spoiled, he was well-behaved. At least from what Severus had seen. He was sure he had his moments, especially with Lily having to take care of him basically solo. Severus was happy to help out when she needed it... which was probably all the time.

"Lily, when are you going to--" James started as he walked in, then stopped as he saw Severus. "Oh. Snape. I thought you were traveling? When did you return? What are you doing in here?"

Severus arched an unimpressed eyebrow and cleared his throat. He needed to be calm, as much as he wanted to fucking lay this prick out. "I did ride away last night but I returned this morning. Harry and I were doing some more exercises with his spelling, but he's taking a break now. Lily was watching our progress so that if I need to be away again, she can take over in the meantime so he doesn't lose progress."

"Is that part of this employment then? We pay you handsomely and you just come in and out as you please? I thought you were meant to live here," James said whilst folding his arms.

"I have things here in the room Lily provided me--"

"I provided you."

Severus clenched his jaw. "You provided me... But I had important business to attend to last night. Harry is doing great, and he is learning at a much quicker rate than I anticipated. I likely will not have to stay here for as long as we originally planned."

"Well... brilliant," James said, before eyeing Lily. "Come on, get a move on dinner. I'm not going to wait around and starve all day."

Severus watched him leave the room, before rolling his eyes. "Git," he mumbled under his breath, shaking his head. "I didn't know you made dinner. I figured the omnipotent Lord James Potter would have a small village enslaved to make every morsel of food he consumes."

When Lily had been growing up, she'd never thought this sort of life would be where she ended up. It had been more than flattering when the young James Potter had quite literally rode in on a white horse and made it his mission to save her from the streets where she grew up.

Looking back, there were times she wondered if certain cards had played out differently… But with her new status it would be ungrateful to think about another, even if she wished she didn't have to walk on eggshells every time her husband was around. Fate was a fickle thing.

Now motherhood: if there was one thing she'd taken too instinctively, it was Harry. In his father's neglect he had become the center of her world, and it was only right he be the center of someone's. He deserved a life she never had growing up, this one.

If she couldn't be happy for herself, the least she could do was be happy for him. At least for right now Severus was taking a big part in that, and she hoped he knew she was grateful. Even more so when he offered to include her in the lessons today.

"That sounds lovely."

She was rather curious on what the two of them did all day, though she'd been good about trying not to eavesdrop too much. It wouldn't do Harry any good to distract him from his learning, as much as she wanted to keep an eye on him at all times.

Her own mother would have howled at her for hovering so much. She had been a good woman, but part of a completely different world. Both she and Petunia had been either sent to the stables with their fathers or simply told to go play until dark. It had been liberating.

She studied Severus as they all took their seats, the little boy between them looking over at his mother every few moments. There was no doubt he wanted to impress her, knowing he'd get a good bit more praise from her than from anybody else. Except maybe Padfoot. He was always going on about how special he was.

"Do you plan to travel much during your tenure here?" She asked, before realizing how that might have come across. "Not that it's truly any of my business, you'd give your proper notice if something called you away. Someone…"

She knew he was living with the Malfoys at the moment, and gods knew there were all sorts of eligible women that flocked to those things. And some not so eligible, but even old hens like herself enjoyed the chance to socialize with people outside of the house every once in awhile.

She trailed off and bit her lip, hoping that the question had come off as casually as she meant it to. It wasn't any of her business what or who he was interested in, it was just… She didn't know him anymore, not in a way that mattered.

Regardless of what their lives had become, she hoped he was happy.

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus followed her as asked, and couldn't help but feel on edge. He hadn't a clue why this was such a surprise to him, it wasn't as if he didn't know what he was walking into. He just... wasn't ready for age-old drama to feel so fresh when it bubbled to the surface.

"We were like that as children," Severus reminisced with a small smile gracing his lips. "I remember we used to sneak off into the forest, deep to where that little pond was. Remember when we saw that deer? It was so beautiful. A stag so old, its antlers were fuzzy," he said fondly. It had been such a magical day with her, a memory he'd cherished all his life. It was so strange to be back in her company, to be here with her, in this context of all things.

His eyes followed the boy as he ran around, babbling about who knows what. He longed for the whimsy of being young again, not having a care in the world. Young Harry hadn't a clue what was happening around him, and Severus hoped it stayed that way for as long as possible. He hated growing up.

"Will you be attending the Malfoys' winter ball?" he asked, looking over at her. "Narcissa tells me it's frost-themed. I haven't an idea what that even means. I suppose wear something light in colour," he shrugged. He didn't even know how the blonde came up with shit like this. Then again, if he didn't have a job or anything better to do, he could probably throw a pretty grand party, too.

"Severus!" Harry shouted, having just noticed the man's arrival. The brunette boy bounded over to them and wrapped his arms around Severus's leg. "You're back."

"I am indeed. I was only gone for a day," Severus teased. For whatever reason, as intimidating as he was, children still seemed to be drawn to him. Draco was obsessed with him, and the feeling was definitely mutual. Now Harry seemed to have warmed to him.

He had never imagined himself as a father. He didn't think it was in the cards for him. There had never been anyone in his life he deemed worthy of settling down with. Well... that, and he didn't exactly have many suitors. As a child, he had thought he and Lily might get their happily ever after, but that dream had been squashed by reality. Being here with her now, all he hoped for was that she was happy. He wasn't entirely convinced, but... it wasn't any of his business, he supposed.

"Shall we head back in and get started on your next lesson?" he asked, gently stroking a hand down Harry's shaggy hair. "Would you care to sit in with us? That way if I have to be away for travel, you can use some of my tactics and he won't lose momentum with his learning."

"You know Lucius will ask, and some of us have imported gowns riding on when exactly you will." Narcissa smirked, not at all ashamed of revealing her hand to him. Severus knew how much they thrived on meddling into the lives of others, and if Potter was really as bad as her best friend claimed he was… well, what was a little chaos among neighbors?

It didn't take long for Lucius to join them, always having a knack for pulling the dark hair man out of his memories. The three of them talked and drank and started plots that really wouldn't go further than their minds, making it easier for him to set out at dawn the next day.

Lily had slept in the next morning, knowing Harry would be gotten ready and be out in the back yard to play by the time she got up anyway. A bit of shadow here and a hint of color there, no one would be any the wiser to what she'd been through the night before.

She felt a bit guilty that her thoughts had strayed to Severus as much as they had. Not during the night of course, but it made sense to wonder whether he would come back this morning. Nothing had been an actual fight, but as cold as James had been to him she wouldn't blame him for cutting his losses. Even the day had seemed to help Harry so much, working on his letters. He needed this.

James had locked himself up in his study for the morning so she didn't have to worry about that, lifting her head as the black horse started down the lane. It was a long way to ride, but she appreciated him making the effort all the same. Hopefully the Malfoys wouldn't have anything embarrassing to spread around at the Winter Ball for this.

"The morning air's always been pleasant to clear one's mind." She smiled politely at him, touching the railing next to her to encourage him to come watch Harry run around. "Even before starting the lessons I've always tried to let him get some of that energy out first thing in the morning. Where it comes from is anybody's guess!"

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus had been so deep in thought the entire ride back, arriving to the Manor had startled him a bit. He stalked inside and gladly took the drink his best friend had already on offer for him. She was a gift from the gods, truly. There were some things only alcohol could fix.

Settling down into the sofa and took a sip, then exhaled sharply at her cheeky remark. "That is not funny, Malfoy," Severus growled, glaring at her over the rim of his glass. "Nothing happened. I suppose I just didn't prepare myself for the possibility of James Potter returning to his home and family. I thought I had more time."

"More time for what?"

"For... I don't know. For to prepare for his pretentious arse to come back. I haven't seen him in years, Ciss. Decades. He was a dickhead then and he's a dickhead now. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing his pack of mutts yet either."

"You've been there for three days, Severus," Narcissa laughed, but not in a condescending way. He got so bloody worked up over the littlest things. It was one of the lovable quirks that amused her the most about him. Some things were just the end of the world in his eyes. "Surely you must have known he'd return at some point?"

"Not if he died on the road," Severus muttered.

"Now that would be a blessing to everyone," Narcissa sighed, leaning back. She swirled her own drink in her hand and eyed him. "Tell me what's really bothering you. Did you quit?"

"No," Severus said. "He... I haven't seen anything, obviously, but when he came back, the air of the place shifted. The servants bowed their heads even further, the laughter in the corridors died, and it almost seemed colder. The Potter boy was thrilled, of course, to see his father, but even their interactions turned cold. Lily all but became a corpse the moment she saw him. It was like she turned into a different person."

"Have you considered that maybe you just don't know her that well anymore?"

"It's different," Severus murmured. It looked like symptoms of an abuse victim. He knew those well. Luckily, Harry didn't display them so obviously, but he could see how much he was vying for his father's approval, only to be answered with cold responses and love as warm as an iceberg. "I told them I'd be back tomorrow. I just had to get out of there for a moment. I didn't want to deal with it. I'm going to compose myself and return in a better frame of mind."

"That's probably for the best," Narcissa agreed. "You never answered my question, though... Did you sleep with her?"

"No!" Severus groaned, lolling his head back against the back of the sofa. One track bloody mind.

Lily didn't say one word about his things in the guest room, knowing an escape when she saw one. They could only hope that he would actually return in the morning, as Harry seemed to like him already. It wasn't good for such a little boy to have people simply pop in and out of his life with no stability. But they did what they must.

She gave a slight nod, more focused on the disappointment of her son. James wasn't harsh with him, not usually, but even so young he already knew that tone. Sometimes she hated this world… But watching Severus go she turned back to playing the part she knew James expected, taking Harry's hand once he was set back on the floor.

It was show time.

//

Narcissa looked up in surprise from her letter writing when she saw a lone horse coming up the way, furrowing her brow just slightly before smoothing out her expression. With her status wrinkles should be the least of her worries, but old habits died hard. Knowing Lucius was in the back of the house she went to meet him in the foyer herself, first wanting to make sure he wasn't injured.

"You haven't brought back your trunks.." She hadn't seen that haunted look on Severus' face for quite some time. For most of it he was able to put his past behind him, embrace the new state they lived in now. But she'd worried facing someone - anyone from his childhood would bring up memories like this.

"Let's get you a drink, and then you can tell me what happened." She decided, linking her arm through his in a grip that wouldn't take no for an answer. James Potter wasn't supposed to be back until the end of the week, so she could only assume it had something to do with the other young lords that made themselves a nuisance around the property. Sirius was her first guess, though she was open minded to either of them trying to pick a fight.

Unless… She made sure he had a glass of brandy in his hand and was settled on the sofa before breaking the ice with a teasing tone. Anything to pull him back into the present, even through shock. Unlike her beloved husband, he usually had some standards about him and was far too easy to scandalize Most of the time she did it just for fun. "You didn't sleep with her already, did you?"

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus outstretched his hand and gave a firm shake. "Your people have been very hospitable," he said. Settling wasn't the word and enjoying himself definitely wasn't, so he would just stay with a truthful yet slightly backhanded compliment. Truthfully, he wouldn't have put up with James Potter's pompous arse for just anyone. He would have done this for free had Lily asked him to, no matter the time that had passed between them.

It was a little strange for him to see her as a mother, to see her so... attached to this man. The only thing he had to go off of as far as Lord James Potter went was that the only thing he loved more than his money was himself. Lucius had droned on and on about him before, and as far as Severus saw, everything he'd complained about had been valid. He could tell the body language among the servants there and even the lady of the house was... off. What went on here really?

"You'll be joining us for dinner, I assume?" James asked with a smile that Severus saw right through.

"I'm afraid I have prior engagements. But I will return on the morrow for Harry's lessons," he said with a smile that was just as sickly sweet. "Perhaps he can show you what he's learned in my short absence."

"Yes!" Harry cheered, hugging around his father's neck.

"Perhaps some other time," James said dismissively, craning his head away from Harry. "You're on my hair, Harry, stop it now."

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, leaning back in his embrace.

Severus clenched his jaw, but forced himself to relax. Oh, he knew exactly what kind of man he was now. He didn't need another second. "Until tomorrow. Harry," he said as he nodded a goodbye. Stepping forward, Severus pulled Lily's hand up to brush a kiss to her knuckles. "My lady," he purred, staring into her eyes, before turning to leave. He had a carriage waiting for him, and he was to return back to the Malfoys' for the night. Did he have to? No. But he certainly didn't want to be subject to dinner with James Potter or whatever the hell he planned to do with his wife that night. He'd rather drink poison.

Lily sat down and folded her hands in her lap to give the little recital a proper audience. She had always known her baby was smart, but to hear it confirmed was a good sort of validation in and of itself. He was still learning of course, but these things took time.

"Oh very good, Harry!" She opened her arms as the three year old tossed himself into her lap, chuckling and stroking his hair. The praise from Severus was no doubt going to help too, and she was grateful that he was so willing to give it instead of holding her boy to impossible standards.

Her face fell slightly as he dashed from the room, lingering behind with Severus as she tried to figure out how to say what she wanted to say without giving away too much. There was a balance to these things, and while Remus and Sirius inherently understood, Severus was new here.

She forced a little smile to her lips at his teasing tone, wrapping her arms around herself and taking a breath. "He's back early, which from a business trip never exactly brings back the best news. I just… if he's in a mood or says something out of line I don't want you to take it personally. No doubt he's been through quite a lot."

Everything was lining up perfectly for Severus to cut and run, but Harry needed this so she hoped she would be able to convince him to stay. Flinching at the shout from the other room she gave him a quick apologetic smile and hurried off to greet her husband.

//

The roast had clearly been a good choice, James lifting Harry up in the air to make him squeal and calling for his wife. If anything, at least he got a proper greeting showing up a few days early. Sirius had written about a tutor being hired on, and things had surprisingly gone well on his venture so it felt like a good idea to come back to the house and make sure everything was in order.

Kissing her deeply with a promise of what was to come later that night, he turned suspicious eyes on the man trailing along behind her. Everything was kept under a thin veneer of politeness of course, but to say James Potter was warm and welcoming would be to say frostbite just wanted a cuddle.

"This must be the professor Snape I've heard so much about." He lifted an arm from around his wife, ignoring her confused look as he held out a hand for Severus to shake. Keeping his grip as strong as iron, to make sure the stranger knew who was in charge here. "You've settled in well to the property?"

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus looked up from the parchment he and Harry were working on together. "Fine," he answered, then nodded at her next statement. "Thank you. That'll be nice. We're focusing on the alphabet now, both reading and writing. He's catching on quickly, I believe he'll have his name down by the end of the week."

Harry really was rather bright, but he came from good stock. It wasn't all too surprising. He was well-behaved, and Severus was glad he was a good student. There were some children (and adults) he worked with that got too frustrated too fast, and it annoyed the piss out of him. He was paid to do this, it wasn't his fault they were illiterate. The children, he had a bit more patience with, but the adults wore his temper down at lightning pace sometimes.

And given he was living with them for the time being, he was glad things were off to a good start.

"Would you like to show your mother what you've learned so far?" Severus asked as he looked down at Harry, who nodded. Severus stood so Lily could come sit next to her son. Standing on the other side with his hands loosely held behind his back, he nodded. "Begin."

"A... B... C... D... E..." Harry started, then trailed off when he eventually got to S. "Umm..."

"You know this one. It looks like an animal. Sounds like one too."

"Uh..." Harry said, his face screwed up in thought. His little finger trailed the letter on the parchment. "Snake... Sss... S!"

"Well done."

"T... U..." Harry continued, all the way to the end. He then pointed to the numbers, and only got through a few before he couldn't remember any more.

"Baby steps," Severus said. "But he's soaking everything up. He's very clever," he said, wanting Harry to hear the praise. Nothing motivated anyone children more than praise. It was easy to give when it came to this little boy.

His head quirked up as he heard galloping outside and some shouting. Harry got up from the chair and bounded over to the window, standing on his toes to see. "Father's back!" Harry gasped, before rushing out of the room.

Severus smirked and shook his head, before gathering the materials back. Upon realising he wasn't alone, and that the lady of the house hadn't dashed off to greet her husband, he figured small talk might be the right choice. "No parade for Lord Potter upon his return? He'll be crushed," Severus teased gently. He probably shouldn't be shit-talking the man who was paying him, but... he didn't have to know. Hopefully Lily would find the humour in it all.

Of course she remembered him. Severus had been her very first crush, as much as children had those things. All of that felt like such a lifetime ago, but the both of them were entirely different now and she rather thought it would be more offensive to try and pretend she DIDN'T know who he was.

He looked good too, of course, though that shouldn't have come as a surprise. Though she hadn't thought of him in that context since childhood she had checked up on his references. The mothers were all quick to whisper about an almost regal air he held about him. Considering where they both had come from, it made sense.

"Get some rest, Sev. I hope you like roast and potatoes." It was a touch more extravagant than they usually served when James wasn't home, but she wanted to make a good impression. Merlin only knew what the Malfoys had on their dinner table every night, and she didn't want a reputation as a coin pincher.

Harry gave a little wave over her shoulder as he was carried off, still not quite sure what to make of the new man. He knew Padfoot and Moony of course, but they were around all the time. This one was different, but at least he didn't seem mean.

//

Lily poked her head in the library after checking how things were going in the kitchens, knowing it wouldn't be long until the meal was ready. Severus had been given mostly free range of the house - minus a few rooms like her own and the last guest room on the third floor, of course. Not because she didn't trust him, but nobody needed to deal with the nasty boggart in that closet.

"How are things coming along in here?" She'd had a desk brought in over the weekend so he could have a bit of his own work tucked in among the bookshelves. There was far more light in here than in James' study, and her husband probably wouldn't like anyone encroaching on his territory - even for the good of their son. "I've ordered some parchment and a few primers that should be in the first of this week."

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus had never been here before. He'd heard of it, of course, given James Potter was one of the more prominent members of their community. His wealth rivaled the Malfoys, which was saying something.

"Alright," he said, following her through the grand tour. He was surprised she wasn't making any of her servants do this. Wasn't that their job? Narcissa certainly wouldn't be bothered with all this effort. Then again, she wouldn't have taken it upon herself to write to anyone about tutoring Draco either, so perhaps they were just different women.

"Thank you," Severus said as he set his things down in the room and looked around. He wasn't overly thrilled about staying in the same place as James Potter, but he was going to be making good money, and from what he'd heard, he probably wouldn't be around much anyway. The Manor was just a bit too far for him to ride to and from every single day.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Severus asked before Lily left the room. "We lived near each other when we were children. I helped your father with the horses in the stable. Sugar was yours, right?" he smirked. It had been what felt like centuries ago, after all, and they were different people now. At her look, he realised she had remembered him, but probably just wanted to stay professional. He understood. She was married now. She had other priorities.

When she had gone away to be paired up with the Potter family, he'd felt a distinct sense of loss. It also reminded him his place and that he would never experience something like that. He wasn't some rich lord that could have any pretty girl he wanted. And he wasn't some pretty girl that could have any rich lord she wanted. A life of luxury wasn't his to have, other than the small luxuries he enjoyed with the Malfoys.

"You look good, Lils," Severus complimented with a small smile, before turning to begin unpacking. Perhaps a little inappropriate, but he wasn't there to steal her virtue. Just two friends reconnecting.

Lily stepped out onto the veranda, watching the tiny dot that was her son chasing after Sirius on a broomstick. They knew better than to go too high - this time - but it was good to try and keep a bit of an eye on them anyway. The man meant well, she supposed, but she worried.

James was gone away on business so much of the time that it was nice both of Harry's godfathers took such an interest in him. He needed strong figures in his life, even if one of them could be a bit too reckless and handsy for her tastes.

"Letter came for you. A quick response usually means good things." Remus joined her by the railing and passed over the scroll from Snape, having been the one to recommend the man to her in the first place. Apparently they'd known each other in school, and his recommendation had been good enough for her.

"Monday morning will be here before we know it. I'll have to have the guest chambers set up if he's going to stay on for awhile. I can't imagine him riding all the way from the Manor every day." No doubt his rooms there were much more luxurious, with the money the Malfoys had, but they would make do.

//

Harry settled on her hip as they stepped outside to meet the carriage, Lily lifting her chin in greeting as the man stepped down to gather his things. She wanted her boy to meet him first thing, get them used to each other.

"Professor Snape, thank you for traveling all this way." She gave a polite smile, wanting to be as gracious as possible especially as James wasn't here to greet him himself. She had her house to represent, after all, an important duty.

The man had a stern set face, but there was no cruelness in his eyes. An understandable amount of caution, perhaps, but that was to be expected. The resume that had followed his letter showed he had at least some sort of talent in the area, but every child was going to be a new experience.

Maybe it was just the mother in her, but she rather thought Harry was special. He had certainly taking to babbling on rather quickly - right now he was being quiet and staring at the man, but they would get used to each other soon enough.

"If you'll follow me I'll show you to your rooms, let you get settled in before dinner." She gestured for his things to be brought in and started back up the stairs, hoping he would approve.

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

teaching moment || snily au

"What's that?"

Severus looked up from the letter he was holding at his best friend, Lucius, who he also lived with. The Malfoy estate was one of grandeur, a place that was renowned for its extravagant parties and beautiful landscaping. It had been around for centuries at this point, but Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were the current owners. It had been passed down through the Malfoy family for generations.

"A job," Severus said, letting him take the letter to read for himself. "What do you think?"

"Hmm," Lucius said, skimming through it. "I'm not a fan of Potter, he's got a pretty wife though. How stupid is his son that he can't even read?"

"Well, he's three, Luce. I learned to read when I was four."

"You weren't in a rich family," Lucius said, handing the letter back to him. "I assume this is his wife's idea."

"Considering the letter is signed 'Lady Lily Potter," I'd say that's a fairly safe bet."

"Bastard," Lucius said with a smirk. "You don't need the money. You'll never need the money. I don't know why you concern yourself with these little tutoring jobs here and there. Just stay with us and enjoy your life. Find some pretty bird to fuck and settle down with, and live the way you want to."

"That's not the way I want to live. We're suited to different passions, Lucius. That's not a bad thing," Severus said, reading over the letter again. It was good pay, and he'd actually be working for it, not just mooching off his best friends. He hadn't exactly intended to be supported by them for this long, it had just happened. It was hard for someone who didn't come from wealth to make a name for themselves, and though Lucius and Narcissa both had suggested they find a job for him with one of their friends, he declined. He liked to do things off his own back, with no help.

And so, he'd put his brain to the test and it ended up making him some money. Word had gotten 'round that he could teach children skills and knowledge, and many wealthy families ended up hiring him so they didn't have to go through the work. It was steady money, but some jobs were easier than others.

//

Lady Potter,

I hope this letter finds you well. I accept your offer. I will bring my materials and be at your estate Monday morning.

Regards,

Severus Snape

#snily #teachingmoment

[notacoward]

Severus's eyes darkened at her naughty remark. "Not after you teased me like that," he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "But yes. Anything to support you, darling. I daresay we might take away from the overall mission with our relationship's debut," he said. He had no intention of hiding her in any way. Everyone knew her time at Hogwarts was a farce. She could get these scores and any job she wanted with her eyes closed.

It didn't take him much longer to get ready for the evening. He was in a new set of robes he'd had tailored, and Hermione had helped him do his hair. It was down, hiding the scarring on his neck. Usually, for an event like this, he would have pulled it back in a neat ponytail, but he was more self-conscious these days.

"Let's go."

//

Severus sat front and centre as Hermione gave her speech. Everyone seemed to be hanging off every word she said, but he couldn't blame them. She was an exceptional speaker, and more beautiful than any person he'd ever seen.

They had shown up together and you would have thought the Dark Lord himself had risen up and appeared in a suit and tie. Flashes from cameras blinded them as they walked, his arm wrapped protectively around her waist. They had started off with intertwined hands, but things got a little chaotic, so he held her close and didn't let go.

It calmed down after a while, though he could still sense looks in his direction. To be fair to Hermione, those looks could be about something having nothing to do with her in his bed. He had gotten used to it, a feeling he and Hermione had in common.

The opinions of these people meant nothing to him. Severus hoped his lover felt the same. Long gone were the days when he concerned himself with the drivel people spouted off at any given time. The rumours were even more outlandish now than they had been before the war's conclusion. Though, when the news spread about his history with Lily, he had drawn the line, and had sued the Prophet for libel. He hadn't won the case, of course, but the precedent was set and they left him alone for the most part.

Well... until now. He wasn't sure there was anything that could stop the articles now.

As Hermione finished up, he stood up and clapped, the rest of the attendees following suit. After a few moments, he slipped away and went behind the platform, taking Hermione's hand to help her down the steps in her heels. "You were so well-spoken," he complimented. "They'll be fools not to award you funding. How much more of this do you want to endure before we can sneak away and get pizza somewhere?" he teased, squeezing her hand. The food served was nice, but... he and Hermione shared in the simple pleasures in life. Neither of them had come from money, and had very humble, muggle beginnings, so he was happy she understood even his most basic cravings.

Hermione draped herself back against the sofa as she admired both her handiwork and the man who made it look so good. This had been nice, first spending time together and then getting to do something so fun. He looked good in a braid, like some sort of elven prince.

It hadn't escaped her notice the way he had been so jumpy when she first started either. What little he had told her of his childhood, it made it all the more special that he could trust her not to yank him around or anything of the sort this night or ever.

"A girl has to have her hobbies." She flipped her own curls over her shoulder with a little grin, so thankful for the number of spells and charms she had learned over the years. Something that had started out as a way to hide something she was ashamed of was now one of her favorite ways to relax.

The boys would lose their minds if they saw the two of them now, but a part of her was a little amused at that. She still loved both of them as her family, the three of them as tight knit as ever after everything they'd been through. But there were parts of herself she much more enjoyed keeping between her and Severus.

Clothes were certainly not one of those things when he looked at her like that. "Oh really? And what do you plan on doing to remedy that, professor?" She grinned and slid her arms around his neck, appreciating the growl that sent a shiver down her spine as he pressed her back into the cushions.

Too easy.

//

Hermione stared at the evening gown laying on the foot of the bed, wondering not for the first time if this was really a good idea. More and more of her things had been inching their way into Severus' home, Harry giving his blessing on their time together for the most part. He did want to be included a good part of the time, but it was nice to be able to take him out to do Muggle things with them.

Plus the way both Severus and Harry had looked like little lost puppies in the supercenter had been too adorable. There were stores, and then there was Asda. The bright lights and shiny baubles alone were enough to entertain them.

But muggle things were fairly easy now… it was the wizarding world that was giving her trouble. Her potion wasn't completed, not entirely, but they'd made enough progress with the trials she'd been invited to one of the Ministry balls to give a speech about what they were trying to do.

Draco said it would be good funding for the lab, make sure they could really hone in on what needed to be done. Ingredients were expensive, even for simple things - much more so for experimentation. Compelling words coming from the mouth of a tight little dress would be enough to sway more than one big wallet.

It was part of the system, being touted around as a war hero… but that wasn't even what was making her nervous. Severus was stepping back into this world - for her. To stand by her side and support what they were trying to do together. It was only right that he was there - by this point it was their project much more so than hers.

She smiled as he stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp from the shower and the droplets clinging to his chest. "More time and I would want to try licking those off of you." She teased, trailing a hand down his chest. "You're absolutely sure about this?"

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus smiled and eyed her mysterious stack of books. “You took the words right out of my mouth. Let’s pay, grab takeaway from Rosmerta, and go back home.”

//

“You can never tell anyone about this, Granger. Do you understand me? I will kill you in your sleep if so,” Severus warned, wincing as she tugged a little too hard at his hair. Perhaps he shouldn’t make threats while she was in such a place of power.

Agreeing to her plaiting his hair wasn’t necessarily on his to-do list for the evening, but they had been reading on the sofa together and apparently his ‘constant hair touching’ had annoyed her. Her solution was to put his hair up to keep it out of his face, and though he assured her that he could put his hair up himself, she insisted on doing it for him.

“What about your hair? Ouch,” he said, grunting under his breath as she tugged him again. “I don’t have that much hair. What the hell are you doing?”

It had been a long bloody time since someone played with his hair. Usually, it was off-limits. Lily had liked doing it when they were young, but then when he’d started to get teased about it in Hogwarts, he didn’t feel comfortable with anyone touching it after that. He never wanted to subject Lily to it, even though she had told him countless times that his hair wasn’t disgusting and it felt fine.

This was nice. As much as he wanted to fight it.

“Finally,” he muttered, scooting away from her so he could go look in the mirror. Bringing a hand up, he gently touched his hair, which was done back from his face in what looked like a French braid. “So in between saving the world and babysitting two idiots, you found time to go to cosmetology school?” He teased, turning to face her. With her hair, it made sense she knew every method of taming unruly locks.

“Tell me why I’m sitting here, in my quarters, letting a third of the Golden Trio style my hair. And… she’s in nothing but my shirt and a thong,” he said whilst smirking. He joined her on the sofa again and wrapped his arms around her. “Speaking of which… you are entirely overdressed, Miss Granger.”

Hermione supposed she couldn't be too judgmental, everyone had their person even after everything was over that they just couldn't stand. She had admired Remus as a person too after all, but knew better than to ever expect Severus to see him as anything other than a threat. With what happened in their fifth year, it would be crazy to ask that.

"You don't have to apologize to me for how you feel, Severus. As little as I think of Divination as a concept, I just think the centaurs have a better understanding than… well, Sybill." She tried to word that as nicely as possible, but knew he would understand.

"Oh you don't have to buy it, I brought some galleons." The last thing she wanted him to think was that she was trying to guilt trip him into getting her something. But at his look it was easy enough for her to concede - after all, if he was buying her something she wanted she could easily do the same for him. Now to just find out what sort of things he liked, or wanted to pick up that he didn't already have among his collection..

They roamed the aisles together at an easy pace, sometimes sticking close and sometimes wandering off to pick up something that caught their eye. Hermione was hyperfixating on Ancient Runes a bit at the moment, but she also snuck a few monster romances into her stack when he wasn't looking. Escapism came in all forms.

She wondered if he knew about all the rumors the students used to spread about whether or not he was a vampire. More than likely - children weren't nearly as subtle as they liked to think they were most of the time - yes, but it was funny to think about him leaning into the persona. Kind of spot on too, the way he liked to bite at her neck. Grinning to herself she shook her head, turning her attention back to the shelves until he made it to the New Releases. Peering over his shoulder, she slipped around to pick up another copy of the one in his hand, shaking her head. "No, I can't say I have. Other than his last article in the potions quarterly from the guild, and that was enough to make sure I never wasted my money on… whatever this is supposed to pass as."

She wrinkled her nose in distaste, her expression quickly turning to sympathy at his frustration. It wasn't fair people looked at him the way they did, especially after everything he had given up to help the cause. Her mouth opened to ask if he'd thought of writing under a pseudonym, before realizing there was nothing to say he hadn't already done that.

"I've found a few things." She lifted the stack with a sheepish grin, keeping the spines turned towards her chest. "The thought of curling up next to a fireplace and knocking out the weekend with some of these sounds heavenly."

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus frowned, but that turned into guilt at the immediately glare she shot him. "Sorry. Firenze and I have never exactly seen eye to eye. He's quite the fan of Lupin, always has been, and he always gets pissy when I tried to harvest ingredients in the Forbidden Forest. Eventually I was sure he was doing it just to fuck with me," he admitted. "But I'll buy it for you regardless."

He certainly didn't want to say the wrong thing and offend her. That would be the mistake of his lifetime. And that was saying something.

"I have a running tab here, so... you can always just put whatever you want on there," he offered. Never in his life had he had the opportunity to spoil a girl before, he was going to take his chance and run with it. He had grown up poor when he'd known Lily, but the little change he had managed to scrounge up always went to treating her.

Severus was enjoying watching her in her element. It was interesting to see what she liked to read for pleasure. He bloody knew what she liked to read as far as assigned books. The entire Hogwarts curriculum and then some. But she was similar to him, and he knew she couldn't read academia all the time.

"Ugh," Severus groaned, eyeing the New Releases shelf. "What a fucking moron," he mumbled, walking to pick up Arsenius Jigger's latest release. He turned the book over in his hands and read the blurb, scoffing under his breath. Shaking his head, he looked up as Hermione picked up another copy. "You ever read this dunderhead's drivel? That might be a compliment actually," he muttered, flipping through some of the pages. "Some twat like this can get published but all I can get by with is a teaching job? Give me a break. He's probably making a killing off these. Plus his asinine column in the Prophet. I actually lost brain cells the last time I read more than the headline."

Severus hated when people swooped in and got more famous and rich and knew less than him. Which was everyone. He didn't want fame, but he had it. Or, infamy rather. He would be perfectly happy writing under a pseudonym and having those galleons drop right into his Gringotts account.

He put the book back and folded his arms. "Apologies. I got a little worked up," he said, sidestepping from the shelf. "What have you found, bookworm?"

Whether from the emotional rollercoaster of the night before or the complete support of whatever heavenly mattress he’d managed to obtain, Hermione couldn’t remember the last time she slept so well. The year of ‘camping’ so recent, she was still just happy to have a warm and dry bed - but this was something else.

Last night had felt like pouring their very souls out to each other, using their bodies to sort of piece things back together in a way. But it wasn’t only taped together with that - it had gone far behind what for both of them and tipped over into why.

He hadn’t shied away from Dumbledore’s death, and she had told him about what she’d done to her parents. It was probably halfway to dawn before they’d gotten through his childhood, and she’d admitted admiring him growing up as well. Among others like Lockhart and Moody, but he’d still seemed smug about it.

Cheeky git.

Her leg hadn’t stopped its slow movements, even as he stretched to check the time. Thank Merlin for weekends, because she didn’t want to think about putting on a face like nothing had happened. Not that she was going to skip around shouting it, but still.

They hadn’t talked about what this was going to look like going forward, but it was too early in the morning to press the issue. They could figure it out together when the time came - he certainly wasn’t treating her like a dirty little secret this morning, which was appreciated.

“I think I’m going to make sure you have good initiative to invite me back tonight..” She teased, slipping her hand low under the covers as well. “And then.. what do you think about going with me to the bookshop in Hogsmeade a little bit later?”

~~//~~

Bodies sated she was looking forward to stimulating her mind as well with someone who wasn’t going to ask if she was ready to leave every ten minutes. She’d seen the number of Severus’ shelves in passing last night - if there was ever a sign they were meant for each other..

They walked close enough down the little hill that from the castle windows no one would be able to see their clasped hands, but Severus didn’t seem intent on hiding them in his robes or anything of the sort. He was relaxed, which helped her to be as well.

“There’s nothing like the smell of a bookshop to calm the senses.” She chuckled as they stepped inside, giving a polite little wave to the elderly shopkeeper. Once they’d gotten to third year and could go on Hogsmeade trips, that little old man had probably seen her as much as anyone.

If he was surprised to see the two of them together he didn’t show it - smart businessman that he was - and pointed out a few new displays that might be of interest to each of them. “Look, Firenze’s book was finally published! I’m so proud of him.”

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus pulled back and stared deeply into her eyes. "My love, I will never let you go again."

Then, there was no more talking.

//

Slowly, Severus opened his eyes. It took him a few moments to register he was a person, but when the initial fog in his brain dissipated, the next thought was who on earth was laying on him. Pushing the mane of curls out of his face, a stupid smile broke out on his face when memories from last night flooded back to him. She was fast asleep against him. His eyes trailed over her slender, pale back. There were a few scars there, ones that broke his heart. Who in the world could possibly lay their hands or wand on someone so special?

Running his hand down her back, under the covers, he palmed her arse. She was literally perfect in every way. In between their lovemaking, they had talked about anything and everything. They had discussed theories, discussed future plans, discussed the war, discussed their childhoods. Some of it had been nice, some of it had been sad, and some of it had been forgotten among kisses.

He preferred it that way.

"Good morning," he purred as she began to wake up. Meeting those gorgeous, caramel eyes was something he wanted to do every single day. He would do it every single day. Nothing was going to keep him from her.

"I must say that this is the best first week I've ever had at work," he teased, moaning under his breath as her leg brushed between his. "You are playing a dangerous game at..." he craned his neck to look at the clock on his nightstand. "Fuck... Nine in the morning. I can't remember the last time I slept in that late. Thank Merlin it's Saturday."

Nobody would have missed them at breakfast. Not that he cared, but he didn't necessarily need a welfare check from the Headmistress at that moment. He wasn't intending to hide her, but he wasn't about to frolic through the halls nude with her either. They could retain a level of professionalism, while still thoroughly enjoying each other's company.

"What do you want to do today, my angel?"

Hermione wanted nothing more than to see him in the mornings too. Her chambers were nice and a place she could make her own while she was hear to retake this year, but the thought of getting to fall asleep with and wake up to Severus every morning sent a thrill through her entire body.

The thought of never getting to experience this again after that night had pained her, so much that she ached for more now that she had him. It had startled her when he lifted her right off the floor, but it had become an excuse to cling more tightly to him and use the wall for leverage to press closer.

It had been for the best she hadn’t stayed that night, before he had a chance to process it all and decide what he wanted. From the iron grinding between her legs, he had very much seemed to make the decision he wanted her. Her moan mixed and melded with his before he started down her neck, making damn sure that these marks wouldn’t be seen as a one off. He was claiming her, and she loved it.

“I won’t.” She promised with a gasp at a particularly sharp bite, the sound trailing off onto a whine as she tightened her legs around his hips to bring him impossibly closer. The way they were moving against each other, she could probably mark him by scent alone if he kept that up.

It would be complicated if anyone else at the school or otherwise were to find out about the two of them, but Hermione would be lying if she said she wasn’t turned on more than a bit by the thought of being known as his. No hiding. Ever. There was something primal in her that made her toes curl with delight at the command, spurred on even more by the roughness in his growl. Merlin, she didn’t stand a chance.

Carding her fingers through his hair she arched off the wall towards him, by turns trying to chase and not be overtaken by the growing wave of pleasure building up inside her body. Somehow it was even better than the first time, every movement seeming to both be driven by that wild desire but also had such purpose.

He knew what he was doing by marking her, saying such things, and she wanted it more than anything in the world. Grazing her own teeth on the underside of his jaw she licked that place, rolling her hips like the layers of clothing between them didn’t even matter. For the bliss of friction, it hardly did. “Let me stay tonight..”

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus's entire body practically sagged in relief when their lips met.

Now he knew what home felt like.

His arms snaked around her waist to pull her close to his chest. The feeling of her body against his was nearly too much for him to bear. He was completely conscious and confident in the fact that this was real and she wanted it as much as he did.

Severus leaned back, gently lifting her feet a few inches off the ground as their kiss deepened. Unable to help himself, he used one arm to secure her waist, the other moving under the back of one of her thighs to support her legs hitching around his hips. Hoisting her up even higher to his height, he walked over to the wall to gain some leverage. Carefully, he pressed her back up against the wall, his hips anchoring her in place. He knew he wanted to do things by the book, but they were already so far out of order, he supposed it didn't matter much now.

"When I wake up, I want to see you next to me rather than nothing at all," Severus whispered into their kiss. It had pained him beyond belief that morning thinking none of it had been real. Though, truthfully, he wasn't sure how he would have reacted had she actually been there when he got up. Not that he would have regretted it, but he probably would have had a similarly shocked reaction as he did in the classroom when she'd put her hair up.

A soft moan escaped his lips as her body writhed against his so deliciously. He was on cloud nine. This was even better than the first time. He didn't even think that was possible, but he was definitely going to remember every single fucking detail of that night.

He couldn't even find it in himself to give a fuck about hiding their relationship. It would be the most responsible thing to do, given he was in a position of authority over her, but that was just a technicality at best. She could test out with flying colours with her eyes closed, she didn't need his tutelage.

He squeezed her body with his hands, then moved his kisses down to her neck, littering her with marks as he went. "No hiding these," he growled into her skin. "Ever."

Pipe dream or not, Hermione could see him doing well at all of that. He was good at potions, a certified master for a reason. And she imagined working on lesson plans and the like didn’t leave much room for experimenting. Maybe given enough time, once public opinion settled down, he’d be able to do all that and do it well. She’d rather like to be a part of seeing that.

As the song changed she smiled at his offered hand, not hesitating a moment before taking it and letting him lead her to the living room. “Absolutely.” The whole thing was crazy, but like some sort of dream she never wanted to wake up from. Sliding into the rhythm she pooped her arms around his neck, the both of them swaying together to the sweet tones like they’d been doing it for years.

When she got out of her head a little bit, Hermione could admit if only to herself that she hadn’t felt this comfortable in years. Severus had made it a life long goal to protect them, at least he always had, and despite all of the confusion that came around his spying and Dumbledore’s death that had made her trust him. He made her feel safe.

Granted the mystery was part of the appeal for her, always wanting to find a new problem to solve. To make things makes sense in a world that didn’t most of the time. After admiring him for longer than she cared to admit, it was a surreal sort of pleasure to have his arms wrapped around her.

“I’m glad you asked me to come tonight.” She murmured after a little bit, tilting her head back to see his face. Intimate as the moment was, she enjoyed seeing the softness in his eyes. It was like peeling back layers of fog, getting to see something beautiful underneath that stayed hidden away from the world.

Or maybe the wine was going to her head, just a bit.

Never stopping their dancing her gaze drifted down to his lips, remembering what they felt like with a little smile. He had a tell she had never noticed before, a little curve in the corner of his mouth that showed his pleasure. From any farther away it wouldn’t be noticeable, even to someone looking, and she liked having found it now.

Using her hold on his shoulders she stretched up on her toes a bit, closing the distance between them for a soft brush of a kiss. An invitation of sorts, wanting to see how different it would be when they were both fully aware. The same tingle certainly weaved its way down her spine, a second touch of her lips to his being just a little firmer.

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus was glad the conversation seemed to flow much easier now they'd loosened up a bit. He watched her as she spoke, his eyes roaming over every little detail of her. He could watch her for hours. Doing anything. Talking. Brewing. Reading. Existing. She was radiant.

A small chuckle escaped as he cut some of his chicken. "It's not news that the Ministry don't know how to do their jobs... but it has given me something to do. And sometimes when you get hurt bad enough, famous, beautiful witches sneak into your room and have their wicked way with you. It's not a bad deal," he teased, smiling as she blushed and shot him a look. A look that he'd definitely pay for that cheeky remark sometime later.

He hoped so.

At her next question, he put his fork down. "Minerva McGonagall is a very difficult woman to say no to. And... what else am I doing? Just because I'm working as an informant doesn't mean I'm in Shacklebolt's good graces, or any of the Wizengamot. First Orders of Merlin don't go as far for me as they do for you lot. They aren't too keen on hiring me to do anything meaningful. In a perfect world, I'd either do research for them -- or privately -- for medicinal potions, or I'd run my own apothecary. Either of those options seem like pipe dreams at the moment, and I feel like I owe Minerva a debt after everything I put her through the last few years. I get to work with potions, it's a job I'm good at, it's guaranteed housing and food, and it's steady pay. Can't ask for much more," he murmured.

Pushing his leftover food around, he glanced down for a moment. "Though... I can't say I share in the same sentiment as you in that things feel the same. This doesn't feel like home to me anymore. Honestly... it never really has. In a way," he said. Nowhere had ever felt like home. Maybe Lily's house, once upon a time, but that felt like eons ago. He was a completely different version of himself then. And now Dumbledore wasn't here. He wasn't fighting a war. He didn't have anything holding him back from finding someone to share in life with.

The only person he wanted any of that was sitting right across from him.

"I love this song," he then said, changing the subject as his player switched to a new track. He would die without music. It had taken a lot of magic to get his technology to work within the castle, but he'd managed. Looking across at her, he flushed. "Would it be completely ludicrous to ask you to dance?"

Hermione was impressed that he had went out of his way to make dinner so personal. It certainly smelled heavenly enough to make her mouth water. It shouldn’t have been surprising that a potions master could also cook, but it always seemed to go one extreme or the other on whether they managed it or not.

They were both a bit out of their depth, that much was obvious, but she appreciated the way he was at least trying to be honest with her about it. Strangely enough his nerves calmed her own a bit, mainly by showing it was okay to have them in the first place. They both wanted it to go well.

Stepping over she laid a hand on his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the other one. Nothing saucy, but a tender little reminder she did want to be here despite the awkwardness of a first date. It was part of the process, and she didn’t mind pacing through it for the both of them. “Relax, it’ll do just fine. It seems to be a good year.”

Not that she knew a hell of a lot about wine, but the twins had at least tried to teach her a bit after their shop opening. Everything had begun to happen so quickly, it had been nice to just escape from the world for a little bit. Sort of like tonight, though this was in a different way. This had stakes.

Determined not to get in her own head again, she made her way over to the kitchen, always having been curious how these chambers were set up. There probably wasn’t a set standard with magic involved, but that just meant she could glean little things about Severus over time from the way he had things set up. “Anything I can help with?”

Everything was set up for the most part, the both of them leaning on the wine at first until conversation started flowing. Between her own interest in potions theory and his in arithmancy, it ended up being shockingly easy to find something they could go back and forth on and enjoy themselves.

“So the Ministry has a couple of positions on offer, things that at least sound good on the surface, but I don’t know. Part of me just… wants to see how this year goes, if being back here feels as much like home as I’d hoped it would.” It was hard for her to tell whether being drawn back was an effort to cling to the past or cement her future here. Minerva was definitely hopeful she might take on an apprenticeship of some kind, though they hadn’t had a sit down conversation about it.

“Having a consultant of sorts must have been something they looked at as well. I mean you’ve already helped to close more cases than they’ve managed to in… what, forever?” She smirked and took another sip of her wine. Maybe it wouldn’t really be a good idea to go into the Ministry as much as she was always amused about how incompetent they were.

“How did you decide you wanted to come back?”

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus was shitting bricks.

This was arguably the most important night of his life. Well, in context to his happiness, and one he actually had control over the outcome. He could not ruin this. At least he was already confident they were physically compatible, and she knew every part of him and hadn't run away screaming. She had, of course, been as beautiful as his brain could even imagine... not that he'd imagined it for very long before that. Of course not. Definitely not.

The knock on the door pulled him out of his anxiety-riddled bubble.

Opening it, he stepped aside so she could come in. He murmured a small "thank you" to her compliment, and wished his brain was at full capacity to come up with something better than "So do you."

He swallowed thickly and knew a little Dutch courage would help him out. Swiftly, he poured them each a glass of wine, and handed her one. "You take my breath away," he finally said, feeling relief at her blush. At least she hadn't been creeped out. He was trying not to get in his head, but it had been so long since he'd done something like this. It also wasn't like she was just some woman. They had a wealth of history between each other and they were literally in his quarters in Hogwarts. It was a little... much.

"I made dinner for us. I wanted it to be meaningful and not food you can just get from the elves in the Great Hall," Severus said, gesturing to the plates at the small dining table near his kitchen. "One of the first meals I learned how to make growing up was a baked chicken with vegetables," he explained. "I like to think I perfected it over the years, but I thought it would be something not as heavy as pasta or something similar."

He certainly didn't want them to eat and feel too full or sleepy to finish the rest of the night. He wished he wasn't so fucking nervous. She seemed nervous too, which wasn't helping anything.

"I'm a bit out of my depth here," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "I want this to go well. You... You mean a great deal to me. This night is... everything to me," he added in confession, holding her gaze. "Hoping the wine does its job," he said with a small, light-hearted smile. "Hoping."

Hermione had to scoff a little at his worry about being perceived that way, shaking her head. “I may not really know you, Severus.. not as much as I’d like to. But I trusted you that night to be good to me and that hasn’t changed.”

Her heart skipped a little beat when he asked her to dinner, trying to temper the thrill that came with a way forward. Unless this was all some sort of elaborate hoax - which she didn’t believe for a moment - they had at least a tentative way forward. What sort of Gryffindor would she be not to have the courage to explore that?

“Dinner then, how’s six?”

~~//~~

It really wasn’t that hard to give her excuses to Minerva and the other professors, at least compared to what she’d been expecting. First day jitters made more than enough sense, and they’d all experienced it to some degree. Thankfully no one connected her disappearance with Severus, at least not yet.

Nipping down to Hogsmeade over lunch gave her an hour to find a nice dress, nothing too formal but a simple green shirtdress. At first it felt a little on the knows, but she’d liked green since long before she came to Hogwarts and learned to avoid it.

Keeping her hair down for the walk over - maybe Severus would have a book with the spell she needed. Or if she could just make it a few days, it would fade enough on its own the girls would think she got it after the trip over. It would be fine.

Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching, she gave a light rap on his door, wrapping her arms around herself to try and quell the nerves. A fiery night was one thing, but she’d be lying to say she didn’t want this to go well. Really well.

Slipping in when he opened the door she took a glance around his chambers, smiling at his own efforts on his person. She didn’t know how he usually kept the place, but it was somehow both as organized and scattered as she had imagined.

“You look nice.” She wanted to compliment him upfront, touching his arm in passing before moving to the fireplace. The dress had seemed like a good idea at the time, but she had forgotten how chilly the dungeons could get in the evening.

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus couldn't help but stare at her. He was surprised he could keep his fucking mouth closed.

Had he heard her right?

What alternate universe had he stumbled into? Had he gotten a concussion on top of those other injuries and was now in some sort of coma-like fever dream? Forget their sex being a dream, this was the dream. In what world did Hermione Granger want him?

"It's inappropriate," Severus said, it being his last line of defense. He certainly hadn't though it was inappropriate when he was deep--

Not helping, he thought with an internal scowl.

Of course it was inappropriate. He was nearly two decades her senior. But that didn't stop him from wanting it. But things couldn't happen this way. It was all backwards now, given what they'd done with each other, but that wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was too bloody old for one-night-stands. His heart also couldn't take them. He got attached far too easily.

"I thought it was a dream because in no reality would I ever begin to expect you would want me," Severus admitted. Being vulnerable wasn't his strong suit, but if he wanted this to work as badly as he did, he was going to have to step out of his comfort zone. He did want it to work. "I didn't want things to happen the way they did though. It's not exactly in my nature to just... jump into bed at the first conversation. I know neither of us were really prepared for that, but... my mother taught me to be a gentleman when handling a lady. I don't want you to think me some... one-track-minded pervert."

Folding his arms, he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Would you... I don't know anything about you, Hermione. Beyond surface level, anyway. And even then my knowledge is limited. I want to know you before I.. we..." he trailed off, unsure of how to continue. Why was he so bad at this? Fucking hell. He'd never been so nervous in all his life. Or at least... since he was a teenager.

Was asking her on a date too cheesy? Fuck. Fuck.

He hated this. Why couldn't it be easy? Why had he been an idiot?

"Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" he asked, feeling slight relief that he'd finally gotten it the fuck out of his mouth. "To get to know each other."

Hermione supposed that was more than fair enough. She'd went back and forth between freaking out and trying to accept her fate, whatever that was going to look like, for most of the day. Skipping a full day of classes and meals was most certainly not like her, but then again none of this was exactly typical. Talking would... be good, sure.

She tried not to wince as he pushed out an explanation, moving to lay her hand on his arm before stopping herself. A dream... Merlin only knew what it entailed, but as foolish as she felt about it all that didn't take away from what she'd done. "It was my fault. I should have realized you were less than... conscious isn't even the right word but-"

She looked up in surprise at his apology and furrowed her brows a bit in confusion. "You taking advantage? That's about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Ridiculous was probably a strong word, judging from the way he looked at her, so she deflated slightly from the bluntness and shook her head.

"You were in your own bed, Severus, for all intents and purposes minding your own business. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you were alright, really. And then when you asked..." She could feel her cheeks warming just at the memory, turning to the little kitchenette and duplicating the mug she'd been brought to fill both of them with tea.

What else was there to do?

"I shouldn't have pressed on without making sure you knew it was me. I just wanted... I wanted, but that's about the weakest excuse ever." She scoffed slightly at her own failings, bringing back the steaming cup as a sort of peace offering. He'd watched her make it, so he'd know there was nothing slipped in surely.

Nodding her head towards the small sofa she took a perch on one end of it, reaching up to touch the place when he questioned why it was still there. "I never really had a reason to learn that sort of glamour growing up, and I didn't want to face an inquisition by asking one of the girls now."

That hadn't been exactly what he asked, but she dropped her gaze to her cup for that. "Incredibly selfish as it is... I didn't want it to go away, not entirely. It's not exactly if I could just pop in and ask you for another."

#snamione #healingtouch

[notacoward]

Severus's mind was swimming the entirety of the day following that revelation. He hadn't even had the chance to say anything to Hermione before she rushed out. Admittedly, his brain was trying to bloody process. He knew it had been too real to be a dream.

But why? From what he remembered - though his mind could be filling in the blanks - she really did seem to want it and enjoy it. Why had she been in his room? Why had she been looking at him the way she had and caressing his face? Why...? Why?!

He needed answers.

//

Severus stepped inside and looked down at her. "You know why I'm here. I wanted to talk properly. And not when we're both freaking out," he murmured. Severus waved his wand to cast a strong silencing and warding spell. He took a moment to look around her room. Though it was the beginning of term, it was all very... her. He didn't even know what that meant, because he didn't know her. He didn't know hardly anything about her.

"I thought what happened was a dream. I didn't know you... I didn't--" he stammered, shaking his head. He didn't know where to even begin. He didn't want her to think he regretted anything, but this was not at all how he wanted things to go. He wanted to do them right. If he ever got to do them.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. He wasn't even sure what for. "I... I never want you to think I'm some kind of pervert taking advantage of... your kindness," he said. She had always been generous with him. He was trying to reel in his temper. The first emotion he felt in the classroom was anger and humiliation. But then rationality set in and he couldn't surmise why she would fuck him just to make fun of him. Other people... maybe, but that was a bold strategy - one that didn't really seem like Hermione.

But what would he know?

"I shouldn't have marked you like that. I shouldn't have been so rough," Severus said with contrite, a frown on his lips. He looked down at the mark, then shook his head. "Why haven't you healed it?"

It didn’t take much more than that for the class to get the hint and make their way rushing for the door. Hermione attempted to blend into the crowd and get out into the hall where she could make her own escape, but she should have known she wouldn’t be that lucky. Because if the fates were ever going to work against her, it would be now.

A tug on her wrist was enough to pull her spinning back around, back slamming against the door to make sure it completely closed. He was close, far too close for her to be thinking straight. Her gaze dipped to his lips before quickly snapping to his shoulder, somehow finding it safer.

At least one hand was free, coming up to cover the side of her neck, but that was as much of an admission of guilt as anything. “It’s not what you think.” She tried to explain, though her mind had whirled through and shot down four different excuses in the span of about twenty seconds.

If there was one thing Severus Snape was not, it was stupid. They both knew it, and it was as impossible to avoid her guilt as it had been to avoid the man himself. She couldn’t stand the thought of him hating her, not because of this or anything else they had both been a part of in the war. While they weren’t friends, per say, she had hoped that that could change with enough time and effort.. they’d made a good start before everything happened.

Denial wasn’t going to last for much longer, and she forced herself to meet his eyes as he told her to let him see. She could smell him this close, the scent bringing back a whole host of memories that nearly had her going limp under his hands. He had been this close before, sending a little shiver down her spine at the reminder.

She let him take her hand and lift it off her neck without any resistance, searching his eyes to try and make sense of any reaction. It was clear confusion was winning out for the day, and for the first time out of all the ones that she had went over the night in her head she remembered he hadn’t actually said her name. Had he even meant to speak to her at all, or had she been playing the part of some potion induced fantasy?

Remembering what Harry had said about his memories - though she’d never seen him herself - sent her gut twisting in an entirely new direction. Lily. Oh she was an idiot, one of the highest degree. Even the papers and the Order whispered about his tragic love story. How could she have thought for a moment that they could…

He would not see her cry, not here and now nor ever. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear it, even if you don’t believe it’s true… I’m sorry.” She tugged away from his grip and managed to get out the door, figuring his slack expression was simply shock that would give way to anything else soon enough.

She didn’t really want to be there for the explosion. Or to hear how he would never have said those things to her.

~~//~~

Packing up all her things she waited for the missive from McGonogall telling her she was no longer welcome, but such a note or even the intimidating witch herself never came. It was a nerve wracking set of hours, pacing through her chambers and trying to keep her mind off of the whole thing.

That would be about as likely as jumping on another thestral for a joy ride.

A kind elf brought her supper, Hermione thanking him and promising she would get to it even though she knew she wouldn’t be able to steady herself for a bite. The waiting was almost as horrible as whatever was going to happen. Even as much as she braced herself the knock on the door nearly made her jump out of her skin.

Letting out a shaky breath she lifted her chin and marched to the door, only to take a step back in confusion giving Severus room to step inside. Glancing over his shoulder she was stunned to see him alone, pulling her gaze from the empty space up to his face. “What are you doing here?”

#snamione #healingtouch