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i would never be a therapist because that's who i've been all my life. i wonder if i would ever let myself be a mother.

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ADHD Paralysis

Future ADHD

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No amount of planning, worrying, or over-analyzing can give you control over what happens next. Breath. Loosen your grip. Experience life as it comes.

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Franz Wright, “Our Conversation,” published in Poetry (May 2011)

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Making mistakes is part of being an adult.

Sometimes your mistakes will cost you really valuable relationships.

Sometimes your mistakes will cost you money.

It happens to everyone. It is normal.

It might feel like the end of the world but it’s not.

Everyone older than you will say the same thing.

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...While I sometimes resist the work of writing I resist my own psychic suffering more, and writing has become for me a primary means of digesting and integrating my experiences and thereby reducing the pains of living. Or if not, at least making them useful to myself and to others. There is no pain in my life that has not been given value by the alchemy of creative attention.

— Melissa Febos, Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative (Catapult, March 15, 2022)

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I lost myself so long ago I don't even know how to start looking

on theater, hélène cixous // abandon me, melissa febos // i'm not angry anymore, paramore // @ojibwa // also @/ojibwa // the chronology of water, lydia yuknavitch // from the last motel before a decade's long purgatory, silas denver melvin ( @sweatermuppet ) // on theater, hélène cixous

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How to listen more to yourself in simple steps

You need to make choices for yourself. Do you want to go to that party? If not, don't go.

You should not feel bad about you disappointing people. You don't owe them something. It's better to disappoint people instead of you.

Spend more time alone. How do you get to know yourself if you're always surrounded by people?

Realize that you will be different from everyone. You will not be the same as your parents, your friends. It's normal to think differently.

Let go of people that don't make you feel better. It doesn't matter if they're right or wrong. If you don't vibe with them, let them go.

Get to know yourself better. How does your dream life looks like? What are the next steps?

Be private and move in silence. If everyone is in your business, you will make choices based on their opinions. You know what you're doing and keep on doing.

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𓍯𓂃 ⭒

what others say and do is a projection of their own reality and their own dream. it’s not because of you, you are not the problem. focus on you and don’t take anything personally. you are amazing, keep being you ˙ᵕ˙ ♡

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Desperation is the energy of lack

Have you ever heard that the harder you fight against quicksand the faster you sink? Have you ever noticed that you only manifest things after you forget about them?

That's because in the desperation to get what you want you end up affirming to yourself that you do not have it.

Affirm and persist, but what does that mean?

It means you assume your manifestation is yours regardless of what the 3D shows you. It's okay to be upset when bad things happen.

I know it hurts right now. I know it's hard to believe everything is going to work out when you can feel your heart aching in your chest.

You are not cursed never to manifest just because you have strong emotional reactions to things.

It's ok to hurt. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that while your feelings are absolutely valid and deserve the space to be felt they are not the authority on your reality.

Our brains naturally want to make sense of what we're feeling but it often leads us to thinking the way we're feeling is evidence of what will happen next.

"I feel awful and I don't like how often I'm feeling it" often leads us into thinking "nothing is ever going to work for me", but it's important to ground ourselves and realize that feeling like shit isn't divine undeniable proof that manifestation isn't going to work.

Feeling like shit just means you feel like shit, nothing more.

Sometimes we feel awful so we self sabotage and then say "see I was right", when really we're just a self fulfilling prophecy. You don't want to be right, you want the comfort of having your emotions validated and seen.

I am not in anyway saying that you should suppress and ignore how you feel! Holding space for yourself to feel things and feel them deeply is important to our spiritual physical and mental health.

I am however, saying that assigning meaning to it isn't good for you.

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Plot twist: they’re not attention seeking, they’re support seeking. Because they’re going through a really rough time right now and support can really help a person.

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“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, “The Brothers Karamazov”

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We will NOT be stressing over people in 2024 when we could be studying and absorbing so much knowledge, learning the piano, taking up horseback riding, upgrading our skincare routines, reading so many more books, spending so much more time off our phones, giving the love rejected by some people to others who want it and return it in kind, learning music theory, taking up a language (French for me), saving up to travel, developing financial literacy, focusing on our goals, revamping our fashion sense, getting good at photography, carrying a camera everywhere w us, expanding our music knowledge, working out more consistently, and learning so many more recipes

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Hanif Abdurraqib interviewed by Ruth Awad: Joy Is Not Promised to You

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You don't need to be perfect. Perfection is a made up construct, and chasing it brings you further and further from joy. Make mistakes because that way you are making something, and find a life that is not perfect, but is livable and lovable and is yours.