notthecablecompany-blog

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Chris: I’m telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.

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Colin: Look. I might not have been a saint, but it’s not like I killed anybody. I wasn’t an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Topher: Okay, that’s really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Jay: For your information, most people who meet me do not know that I am queer.

Logan: Jay, blind and deaf people know you’re queer.

Jay:

Logan: Dead people know you’re queer.

Jay: Topher, when you first met me, did you know I was queer?

Topher: Esteban knew.

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Chloé: We’re Spectrum.

Jack Pence: God, no wonder this all went tits-up.

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Delanie: Chloé and I have this kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-

Chloé: Sentences

Delanie: Please don’t interrupt me.

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Morgan: Here, I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Logan: I’m not really a jewelry person.

Morgan: You don’t have to wear it.

Logan: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

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Chloé: Jay, can I speak to you for a minute?

Jay: Ooo someone’s in trouble!

Jay: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

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Chloé @ a terf: Relax, I was just bluffing about reporting you. I mean, who needs all that paperwork?

Chloé: Theo, light them on fire.

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Theo: Every time we stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff.

Jay: Hey dad real quick what the Actual Fuck

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Theo: Morgan, say something rebellious.

Morgan: Uh, okay, I think the working class should uprise against the rich people.

Theo: I said rebellious, not revolutionary–

Chloé: Let them speak.

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So who’s in charge now? I need to know who to ignore.

Sydney, probs

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Theo: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-

Chloé: Can’t we just have a normal exec meeting for once?!

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Chris: Show me what you have in your hands!

Morgan: A KNIFE!!

Chris, terrified: NO!!!

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Theo: Nick, listen carefully. Life is a journey.

Nick: Uh-huh?

Theo: That’s all I got. I don’t have advice. I’m high.

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Tired of people always telling me to “go to the hospital” and that I’ve “lost a lot of blood.” It’s my severe head injury, not yours. Stay out of it.

Logan, probably

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Chris: It’s really muggy out today.

Morgan: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m moving out.

Chris: *sips tea from bowl*

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Topher: can you describe the guy that stabbed you

Colin: yeah he was not very friendly