oddabsurdity-blog

[oddabsurdity-blog]

I would have killed for you, hell, I almost killed myself over you. Im so glad I didn't.

[oddabsurdity-blog]

I dont understand it. How you just up and left. No warning. You were just gone. I still have so much to give. so many questions so much emotion. I love you. You remember that time we went for a walk. So simple. You remember The way I looked at you and told you I feel like im falling in love all over again? I remember the face you made. It burns. It scolds me at night. The sweet words you spoke back to me. They deafen me. I still have so many questions. I love you. Do you remember the the way we held eachother? The way i held you when you needed it. The way you held me when I needed it? I do. I could have held you forever. But you left me with so many questions. I love you. Do you remember when you found out i was talking to girl and I told you I was happy I made a new friend? You told me you hated me for it. Something so simple. Yet I pleaded with you, like I did something wrong. You filled me with anxiety and fear. I doubt you even remember. It was right then something changed. You left me hopeless. Filled with questions. I cant believe i loved you. Time went on and things just got worse. Its almost like a cant remember a time we werent fighting. Usually about your insecurities. But in the end we found resolve. Just until the next one shown. Your insecurities must have gotten to you. I watched and felt the change. The feeling that was once there fading. You were slipping away. All these questions. How can I still love you? The time we spent together grew so slim. Its like I hardly ever see you. Youre always working. Im always working. Were always fighting. Yet I still love you. Thinking back i remember the little hints of what you had planned. You met new friends. You told me about the fun you had on nights we had planned together. I dont know How I couldnt see it. Then it hit me, on a friday. I remember it so fucking vividly. The way you told me you had to come to my house. I shouldve seen it. I asked if I could just come over. You simply said no. You came over and sat me down. And from there its a blur. Fading in and out. I was in shock, picking parts, hearing the worst. Im fucking somebody else now is what you told me. How could you do that to me? After everything weve been through. I lived for you. I breathed for you. I would have done anything for you. I absolutely loved you, with every fiber of my body. And you just looked at me. Stared. Did you cry? You probably didnt even feel anything. It feels like its all falling together. How could I not have seen it. The way you controlled me. The way you destroyed my self asteem. Destroyed me as a person. I sat alone for months trying to answer questions. But not one fucking answer has shown itself. The only thing I know is that I hate you… I love you. To you this is the piece I leave. I love you always.