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ngl I keep forgetting that Hobby Lobby is a real store that people go to. That people actually think of it as a craft store and not as a crazy Christian mass artifact smuggler. I google "Hobby Lobby" and get a page full of results that make me go "wtf is this craft supplies and operating hours shit, I thought we all knew this place for smuggling looted cuneiform tablets out of Iraq"

#i go there bc they're very easy to steal from

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so much of taking care of yourself as an adult is just learning to eat at home and going on walks

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We don’t talk enough about the two identical old women who just hang around Azula saying ominous shit in unison. What’s their deal. Is there a comic about them. Are they paid for their services

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Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

#dude college me drove through my neighborhood a couple years after i moved out #and i saw the stump of my favorite childhood tree #and i fully cried

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deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

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🥺🥺🥺

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come on, you’re better than this

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If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream

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The two twins…

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inch ness monster

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to the casual observer it may look like i'm trying to summon a demon but anyone who knows me will realize that i am simply calling my wife

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The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

#dude even like 20 month olds who have started to pick up language are fuckin neat #i work in the baby room so I'm not used to the ones who can walk and talk yet #but one of the older ones from mobile infants was moved to my room towards the end of the day a few weeks ago so mobiles could close #and she picked up a toy and walked up to me and (around her pacifier) asked 'what this?' #and i said 'that's a teething ring' and with perfect intonation (still around her pacifier) she said 'teething ring! teething ring!!' #it was so cool like i just watched this kid learn a new word

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Instructions for how to download a Youtube video using VLC on Reddit

Instructions for how to navigate the underworld on an Orphic gold tablet

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Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes

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Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.