oomslokop

[oomslokop]

PINK

i was going for a drive to orange for hannah's wedding

she was getting married to a nice french dude or is that a garçon with sad eyes

one day i was riding in the action bus with them and for the whole trip he put his sad head on her shoulder

meanwhile claire was digging into my nails absentmindedly trying to clean them

that hurt

we were traveling in chloe's old subaru sedan. chloe was from orange

it was during a pit stop at a petrol station that i realised i didn't bring my good shoes that i was supposed to wear for the wedding

they were cream close-toed faux leather mandals that i didn't know were faux and i got them custom-made at one of the (back then) trendy jamet cobblers at perbanas

i was kinda glad i forgot them i started to think they looked shit. like shithousery fuckety fuck fuck unquiet not even luxury

it was during another pit stop this time at a lookout that i realised i also forgot my beatles-style four-buttoned prada suit

i opened the trunk and it wasn't there

it might've been subconscious but how was it SUBconscious when it was so fucking obvious

that i was sabotaging this trip subconsciously deliberately

we had a late lunch at chloe's parents' house and i borrowed my wedding outfit from the dad

they fit perfectly except now in a white safari shirt i looked like a white lotus dick

the only thing i had that was mine was a levi's dark navy twill pants that at a glance passed for a formal-ish chino because the fabric was kinda shiny

we stayed in errol's, hannah's dad's house on a hill in orange with a view of a single jacaranda tree we could see from our bedroom window

the house was all blonde wood which made it feel both unfinished and welcoming

errol was a late-blooming artist who spent most of his life working at the arnott's factory in orange

hannah was also an artist, went to the art school in canberra, and had had a group show at a tiny gallery in surry hills that i wanted to see but claire, her cousin, my girlfriend then, didn't

i went to see it one afternoon making sure no one else was there

she did pretty things with onion paper, tiny fragile things that resembled colonies or crumpled shredded skin

there was also an incompleteness to her works that was charming and welcoming

i wonder if she ever made it in the art world

after the beautiful outdoor wedding under a grey sky, me shivering in the cold sans jacket, lloyd, claire's dad got us to move out of the wooden house and camped out in the bush not too far away, i think it was still in errol's property

he even set up a portable shower, a massive army green canvas water tank that he hung off a thick eucalyptus tree branch, with a shower head at the bottom

i thought of telling him a mandi would be much easier to set up and much more water-efficient but i restrained myself

that happened later

i don't know to this day why we had to sleep in a cold tent when we could've stayed in the charming blonde wooden house

i don't think i even fucked claire in the tent

lloyd made good eggs for breakfast, so there was that

later on i wrote a poem about a tree, a pond, no ducks, and winter for my first collection of poems and called it orange

have you seen sidewalks of london?

people who stay outside for too long find inside not a welcoming place to be

#treatment

[oomslokop]

farout

nuttin u say, do, think is ever kejauhan

u can only walk as far as yr heart can contain

u will walk as far as yr heart can contain

u shd

do not feel invalidated, gaslighted, ingrid

u must have belief in yrself

in yr own thoughts

the way they consume yr body, such is the way the world shd be consumed by them

it doesn't always happen

but u must retain that belief

the world of the ideals is unattainable

it's a good thing to clasp in yr burning hands

#treatment

[oomslokop]

tacocal

it was a dank arvo at a taco local in kebayoran baru when i met d, t, and a for a catch-up after yonks

i rode my salted egg blue vespa lx that i christened tante sophie after the antiheroine of e. breton de nijs's faded portraits to the meet-up

it was when new vespa matics weren't as common as they are now

but i was living in deep ciledug, across the road from where the old pasar was, so it didn't really matter that i had a shiny new vespa i was still a hillbilly

i was all inspired on fire to spill the tea about my depression what i really felt about this city after seeing the jak the doco about persija jakarta the football club their rabid fans

like the jaks i felt like i had no control over the city in fact the whole concrete edifice was closing in on me crushing me no jalan tikus left to escape its crush-y anvil

d was sympathetic, t was bemused, a was restless, frustrated, too stupid to understand the fineries of whingery

i got so worked up i nearly cried couldn't hear anything around me anymore the world was just a loud ringing in my ears sometimes an explosive deep hum coming from inside of me

i decided to leave after finally catching up to the fact things had got AWKWARD no one really knew what to say or do i was devil's advocating every retort

when i was making my way to the parking lot putting on my black leather gloves with the pretty white stripes that i bought at the deus hq on parramatta rd

i heard a's friend c, who had been eavesdropping to our convos the whole time, said to her, "temenmu nggak bahagia ya."

#treatment

[oomslokop]

boom boom chivalry

aint gunna wérk henny

sd helen launch a thousand more chips

throw everythin but the proverbial

& a literal phalanx of mates

[smokin window emoji]

& a hand clutching at windowsill

two-night stand turns into three

sd u tell me

aint gunna wèrk henny

bitcheth was craaazy

[death drop emoji]

but ya i prefer mindfuck than actual fuck

wërk it henny

lo mau bir lagi gak

spotlight on u

& spotlight missing u

[downcast face with sweat emoji]

[oomslokop]

krek

can’t carry an orchestra across ciputat raya

saw u do it on insta

do achaians go to church

twas the old kerk in the city

udah mau tutup jadi cuman bisa makan roti

udah di dalem ya paling belakang

said that wasn’t yr real name

yr real name was wagino

one day yr dad came home and he was amatmoekrim

a man hanged in yr backyard 

[door emoji]

freshcotton eh

MIE or MIA dr martens

thought we share same fate

decolonialize now or never

but hammersmith, pigeons splattering window sills

not exactly a match for aston martin

austin friars i mean

perhaps the dragon in costa rica

tell me how much youve got in the bank?

patmonem gek ndang mangkat yen wis mendem

[door emoji]

wake up mate last station

soft rain  / /  //// // / /    /     do they weave it of willows

outsoles sank in gummy carpet

a ripple in the ocean in chch

dont wanna sleep it thru in pillowed comfort

insoles still drying near the radiator

the sheet pebbly

the freezing cold only heated in patches

we spent the whole day in the tower

we saw the ghosts of the two princes jk

[lock emoji]

Wanneer wij samen zijn

not gonna happen

its in the printers 

no the translator died

the linguistic ambience AWOL

AWOKWOKWOKWOK

cant think up weird stuff 

imagination the size of lemon drops

eerieology

rovalf naynem wen dnarb

#karinamatmoekrim #freshcotton #dr martens #kasimex #suriname #hammersmith #london underground

[oomslokop]

reconsider the lobster

there is no writer alive more incisive and hilarious

there is no writer, dead inside

the infinite jest is that ceci est une fellation

the supposedly fun thing i’ll never do again and again

you joke, you say you saw seydoux seydoux sputnik at la flèche d’or

you spend too much time in imaginary london phone boxxxes, why it gotta be all day permanent red, revlon?

you came from greece you’ve got a thirst for bondage

you dogtooth and nail!

i give up on this one, demon slayer

i give up poundfit

i give up strong nation

i give up airism, outside of society! that’s where you wanna be

have you read, U & I by U & I by john updike by nicholson baker by mikael johani?

have you heard, there’s enya in senyawa

have you seen, a john cage silence

have you tasted, the simply reds delicieuxs

#lobster #david foster wallace #juxtaposition

[oomslokop]

there's a star fruit tree

kalau pagi aku bilas mug mug kopi

kadang udah berjamur

kalau pake susu jamurnya kayak oncom

oranye oranye toxic

nggak ada yang bantuin

tapi aku senang

merasa berguna dalam hidup

belimbing kalau busuk lama lama jadi serbuk

lo tau nggak?

kira kira 2 x 3

sekarang permukaannya dah kayak kompos

daun buah ranting bunga kalau lagi musim label le minerale

7 barang dipesan untuk satu keperluan

and i'm the dumb one

#pandemic diary

[oomslokop]

punya? ada

tinggal banyak

i'm being ironic

so are you

sore itu kolam renang

menelan harga diri lo aja ga tau

masih? tinggal dikiiit lagi

pagi itu lagi

pagi yang lift

pagi yang reuben

hand that's dealt who?

kadang jadi goyah keyakinan

completely prostrate

aku tau kok

nyadar

just wanna see how far it'll go

kemudian menyadari sudah tidak nyaman

lama sebelum akhirnya tidak tahan

bukan sih akhirnya tu kadang kadang

kayak eczema

ya kasih salep kalau cocok cocokan

you don't like me asking you if you'd like it if i do it

daripada daripada

daripada daripada daripada daripada

perlu sesuatu yang found

probably just a wrong number

bangers and pash

masih? bentar lagi pecah kayaknya

[oomslokop]

dexterous

even then i knew the scarecrow had it in for me. the crows were never there, but they were coming.

[scanned the horizon]

i would wake up in the near-middle of the night and climb the window in our bedroom (grandmother and brother two black lumps in the dark) and stand transfixed on the window sill looking through the wooden slits on to the dirt road behind my house.

[the night bathed in silvery light]

i was waiting for the dinosaurs to come. allosauruses with their drumstick front paws. t-rexes with their clawy front paws. 

they never came.

the crows, they came. 

one day i was in an über, a murder of them swooped and crapped all over it. 

#365harimengeluh #365harimelenguh

[oomslokop]

pawèstri

semua akrobat ini

agar bisa kembali ke depan mangkunegaran

menonton rambut rambut halus di pelipismu

menggali samudra dalam kenangan

[oomslokop]

lemairp

puisi tidak bisa menceritakan secarik against all odds tersisa di mulia agung

puisi tidak bisa menceritakan tembok bernyamuk yang menyembunyikan dini hari

puisi tidak bisa menceritakan lagu yang kehilangan chorus di atm

tapi aku bisa menceritakan kepadamu sebuah palung curam berdinding pecahan pecahan nyawa

[oomslokop]

OOOX

The morning like the brekkie roll was crisp

I lick

the wet green tar

of the road

Nothing sullying the hills

The eucalyptus the cricket 

Net the smell

turpentine

(2-piece) Of a new ball

The sun white frozen

the sky's hinge

The window displays

an anorak

Of (street) wisdom

P.lease nuttin too flashie

A.mber trapped in a queen bee

M.iki u so fine u blow my mind

Hey miki d.

Reel it back in

The morn

so crisp

Of (234) cengkeh fragrant

the bin

We white people

are so very sorry

for xxxing u

The heavy doors

pull them towards the crispy light

Aaa ayyy ooo uuu

the kakalak of ancient

ooox

OOOX 3x

Reel it

reel it back in

27 years of bright flagrant colors

united

Soggy roasted chesnuts

fresh 

Screenprint the aroma

Get to the till

A monster jam or a pamskull?

Both

hide one under my undies

our vintage suitcase//slash//wardrobe

That's a bit

un-flash

U never let me

fuck u in the ass

And I never got u 

thru my thick skull

[Landscape]

Don’t worry

Nature stays silent

so it can listen

to you

Kenapa mooi indië

tak pernah so moi

[Portrait]

The morning

so crispy

Cheap bacon rolls 

are the best, Papa!

Here, a golden staff

to cure loneliness

I pick up a marble

off the ground fecund

and put it

in my mouth Demosthenes

So sad

the grill

cannot hear

your anger vermouth

Bitter lemon astringent

Miffy let me kiss your cold cold cheek

cold so cold the National Library

the leaves autumn the Gap

your broken bones

I let you think grandiose

O black garter

Can't work out your coat of arms

She was black 

but not like I'm black

Everything

what's good for lunch

I let you cholent

mmm mmm mmm mmmuach

people know

what they want Caledonia

Reel it 

back in

memorial bench

Bottoms immemorial

Reel it back in

Xmas decorations

how was

the cheetah?

Still sniffing the lion's urine?

Drugs

and money

Un Petit Peu Lun Dun

It's 37 minutes [walking man emoji]

P.eeing on the tree eucalypt

A.msyong amsyong

M.ountain dew

Make It New

Like Life

Mas Jikul bergelantungan di pundakku

selalu

OOO

X

[oomslokop]

psychoval

I see you drive a brown Karimun

I see you kiss me on the dance floor

I see you slide across the cubicles

I see you writhe in the pantry

I see you in a museum

I see you in a wife-beater

I see you tweet in your hospital gown

I see you on a drip

I see you wince in pain

I see you take a selfie in intensive care

I see you complain about the world

I see you fade away

I see you brilliant star

I see you still

#psychovalogy

[oomslokop]

continent

the phone is ringing

the room is empty

don’t pick it up

fresh flowers in the vase

the door is locked

smell of gas

don’t pick it up

was that you, baby

pick it up

the phone is ringing

in the other room

the walls, stark naked

the sound of dishes being washed

at midnight

[oomslokop]

green

nothing sustains you electric hair not you black airmax not you elm park nails not you skinny fit

night. release

i mind your magnificent thigh gap

#district line

[oomslokop]

maksi

jadi mau makan apa, rawon, mandala, memandangi lalu lintas saja sambil meremas bantalan kursi?

rawon mandala would be great, tapi apakah dunia sudah seadvanced itu?

aku sudah lama tidak memperhatikan apa-apa, begitu pula rambutmu. apakah catokan yang lagi panas-panasnya masih sering menjatuhi betismu?

jadi mau makan apa, belok kanan aja.

high tea tak pernah terasa cukup high di kota ini. gerimis belum juga jadi longan.

tapi di atas bisa ngerokok.

belok kiri terus di depan belok kanan, ada jalan buntu.

aku baru mulai meraba-raba lagi. rasanya seperti memakai sarung tangan kulit kemudian membelai kucing angora.

it’ll come back. if i was a good friend, i would say that. but no, i hardly ever see you, anyone.

kok nggak ada ya? udah lama sih gak ke sini.

bagaimana menurutmu kecenderungan melucu saat ingin serius?

tergantung apakah kau sudah tahu apa itu yang ingin kau bincangkan dengan serius. humour never stands in the way of a good story.

udah entar juga ada.

dia terlihat tua. dan dia berjalan seperti sedang naik sepeda. kuperhatikan dia melaju menuju counter m.a.c. dari eskalator yang sunyi.

siapa? yang bukan temanmu itu? celana cargo tidak punya cukup kantong untuk menyimpan jiwa yang resah, bukan begitu katamu dulu? tentang dia kan.

jadi mau makan apa, rawon, mandala, minum kopi asam sambil menusuk-nusuk apple crumble sampai jadi ya... crumbles?

belok kanan aja, entar juga ada.

[oomslokop]

oasis

manusia manusia kebahagiaan macet

overdependency manusia decaffeinated tumblr

mini hyperreality black forest 

manusia macet les jahit

revisi kebahagiaan decaffeinated macet

hapus master vermak tumblr

revisi macet kebahagiaan mesin

vermak mesin pengantisipasi pikiran

macet manusia vermak velbak

decaffeinated manusia edit pikiran

pikiran tumblr master revisi

pengantisipasi overdependency black forest

manusia manusia mini macet

edit hyperreality les vermak

hapus decaffeinated tumblr jahit

macet manusia kebahagiaan master