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Anda Bodoh
In the recent Treaty of Java, the Malaysian and Indonesian governments agreed to end Konfrontasi. They thanked Minister S. Rajaratnam for his tireless efforts to bring the two nations together. Two Indonesian Marine Brigades landed today, taking over the Central Business District and Southern Islands. 
The Malaysians advanced from the North, killing 1,549 Singaporeans, at a cost of only 226 of their own. It is reported that the SIngaporean soldiers were too distracted reading about juicy gossip about the government to put up a fight.
Indonesian troops stormed Tanjong Pagar, capturing 38 Oxley Road. They dragged Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew from his house, and then demolished it. His children are divided on the matter.
Barisan Socialis loyalists have established the Democratic Republic of Yishun, and what’s left of the SAF have defected to it. The only remnant of the former Republic of Singapore is Pulau Tekong Resort.
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Othman Wat
In a failed assassination attempt on Dr Goh Keng Swee this morning, an ISD operative was caught attempting to shoot Dr Goh with a handgun while Dr Goh was on his way to Parliament House. The gun has since been confiscated and the operative detained, following which the operative has confessed under interrogation that he was bribed by Mr Othman Wok to do so.
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A real nice Konfrontasi
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The following map was found by the ISD after at a Kuala Lumpur hotel meeting between the Malaysian Foreign Affairs Minister and a close associate of Dr Toh Chin Chye. It shows a red line dividing Singapore with “to Malaysia” written on one side and “to Indonesia” written on the other.
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I for one welcome our new British Overlords
The ISD has recently intercepted a letter bound for Britain. The letter reads:
“To My Dear British Friends,
Singapore is sorry they even left you in the first place. Please consider re-accepting them as a Crown Colony.
Regards,
UK High Commissioner to S’pore”
The letter was burned.
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377A(lready)
The Strait Times has received the following message from any anonymous source:
There has been a sighting of Othman Wok bridal carrying S Rajaratnam into a high-end apartment at 69 Oxley Road. There were extremely intimate, with Othman Wok holding S Rajaratnam dearly, as if S Rajaratnam was a precious porcelain doll that could break anytime.
Rumours have spread over the gender orientation of both leaders and anger is growing within the Muslim community.
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PRESS RELEASE BY DR TOH CHIN CHYE (2)
this super objective legit judicial law man guy says that we should send all the hot malay guys to the residence of DPM Toh Chin Chye like you should do it thanks
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Is it?
there's a new update dr toh didn't do it it's legit ignore the header i am the best investigator in the world
Dr Toh
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Day of the long knives
Key Free Melayu Alliance and Barisan Socialis Leaders have been arrested as per the most recent council update. It is now up to the council to determine their fate via a council directive. 
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PRESS RELEASE: TOH CHIN CHYE
"I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT MAN. NO U. "
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In response to the recent allegations implicating Minister Toh Chin Chye,, crowds of Malay protesters have gathered in his constituency of Rochor, demanding the Minister’s resignation and self imposed celibacy.
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me_irl
Following a failed suicide attempt, the Minister of Home Affairs is now clinically depressed.
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OH MY
Deputy Prime Minister Toh Chin Chye was recently spotted violating his marriage vows with a young Malay male escort entering a shady establishment in Geylang. He was also seen wearing a spiked collar, and he could allegedly be heard saying “sex me up daddy”, perhaps in an attempt to create an amorous air and vibe. Having once considered becoming a Jesuit Priest, Dr. Toh has now become the subject of numerous protests outside his home calling for him to resign. Sources have claimed that his wife was last seen running out of the house, to a location currently unknown.
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Exodus- Businesses and Tycoons
The red sea of ink across the balance books and accounts accounts of Singapore appears to have been parted by recent measures by the government of Singapore to implement new labour restrictions. The measures and in particular, the imposition of a forty hour week, have come as a shock to employers in services and in particular industry, who desired reforms to aid employers and provide more business friendly policies. Indeed in the absence of pro-employer policies, businesses are warning that they may consider relocating their businesses to more business friendly environments in the region.
Meanwhile, the plague of debt has not ceased, with investors threatening prohibitively high interest rates.
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Eye For An Eye
Troops deployed to the Naval Base came under fire, as a company-sized force from 10 MIR conducted a raid. 16 soldiers from 3 SIB were killed, along 7 Malaysians. Meanwhile, elements of 8 MIR conducted intermittent skirmishes with members of 4 SIB and 42 Commando, killing 26 Singaporeans and 9 British, in return for 32 Malaysian casualties.
Unknown assailants also began attacks on civilians, killing almost 150. More than 45 gunmen have been arrested or killed, and the Police have taken heavy losses,
Maritime Command vessels have also intercepted or sunk several ships, containing weapons shipments and support.
The Malaysian government has disavowed these attacks, but have condemned all acts of aggression against their troops.
Task Force X and the 1st Commando have reported a buildup of troops at Johor Bahru. 
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Maintaining Rights?
In an inauguration ceremony today, the Council for Maintenance of Racial and Religious Rights was established. They have been given the mandate to vet proposed laws undertaken by the government to prevent biases, with membership being limited to 36 members. It is unclear as to whether this council supercedes the authority of Parliament in editing bills, and recruitment is underway. Many members of the public are questioning if this is another attempt to placate them with dummy councils, and are skeptical of the legitimacy of this council.
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The Debt-ly Hallows
The net debt of the Republic of Singapore is projected to reach 1.04 billion for the fiscal year 1969. Financial and business institutions across Singapore grow more concerned as every day with interest groups such as the Singapore Chinese Chamber of Commerce expressing their alarm at the continued failure of the Singapore government to balance its books, with a projected 500 million deficit for fiscal year 1969. Banking interests have cited the establishment of expensive programs, such as effective albeit expensive healthcare policies implemented thus far, and policies seeking to achieve industrial and residential construction, as responsible for ballooning public expenditure, with the budget for 1969 projected to be 3.6 billion in contrast to expected revenues of only 3.1 billion. 
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Open Arms, Empty Hands
The Police have greatly increased the number of patrols in places of worship of Singapore, clamping down on subversive activity and searching for illegal firearms. Officers have conducted raids in areas such as Chinatown, Geylang Serai, and Kampong Glam, capturing stocks of rifles and ammunition.
However, they have come under fire while doing so, losing almost two dozen officers in the process. The overwhelming majority of firearms have been found in Malay neighborhoods, and officers have stepped up patrols.
Also, gun collection boxes have been constructed in police station, but nobody has returned their firearms.
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