opwolfe

[opwolfe]

[opwolfe]

the thing about adulthood is when someone says something extremely rude to you, you can either turn the other cheek or calmly & firmly correct them. The third option is to tell them “say that again, I’ll bite you” & everyone sort of nervously laughs and tries to move on from your little joke. Which is why I think it’s very important that when they do say it again you follow through. Nobody actually expects you to bite them. We should be biting more. Also if you’re with the county health department do not read thi s post

[opwolfe]

Pinhead if he was forced to work a 9-5 instead of whatever he does

[opwolfe]

guys give me your most controversial opinion!!! :D

[opwolfe]

The spouse is getting curious about tumblr

[opwolfe]

I AM GONNA DIE

[opwolfe]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[opwolfe]

FOUR BIG GUYS AND THEY RUBBIN ON MY THIGHS

Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

[opwolfe]

this dosen't nesscarily have to be smut, but just curious what your headcanons be for 2006 billy lenz with a reader who has poor eyesight?

-🪐 anon

SO HAPPY RN MY FIRST REQUEST BUT OBVIOUSLY YES POOKIE 😭😭 I DIDNT ADD ANY SMUT THIS TIME FOR YOU 👏👏

•In all honesty, his blind ass (desperately) needs glasses/contacts too. His vision is like 2 pixels per second and it's absolutely hilarious to see him stumble around as he holds onto you, and you hold onto him 😭

•If you wear glasses, expect him to always carry around a soft cloth in that one pocket of his PJs for you ❤️ he actually does care for once-

•If you wear contacts, he will intensely watch you put them in and take them out. In his head, he's thinking about how much prettier they make your eyes look. (His eye fascination grows just by dating you)

•If you don't wear anything, he would probably just tie a string around your waist and yank on that MF rlly hard whenever you're about to run into something. 50/50 chance of working 😞

•He likes to annoy you n test you a lot, by putting up a random amount of fingers n telling you to guess how many he's holding up. Yes, he's lied about how many fingers he was holding up. No, he wasn't holding up 13 fingers!

•Since he really likes space n all that shit, he would be really curious about what you would see whenever you look up at the stars at night. He'd ask (forcefully) for you to describe them.

•He laughs n cackles whenever you first wake up n all that morning blindness curses you extra hard. Will purposely wave his hand or snap his fingers directly in front of your face to scare/annoy you 👏👏👏👏

•Has gotten jealous you hugged another object that looked like him. Yes, a blanket. It was red n yellow, but your dumbass couldn't see and just... Embraced it. Forced you to get glasses/contacts after that.

•Will definitely hide shit around the house to fuck with you. If you do wear glasses/contacts he will absolutely hide them when you've been a brat to him 😭

——————————————————————————-

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I TRIED TO COME UP W ALOT OF SHIT FOR THIS AND THIS WAS FUN ISTG😭😭😭😭 I HOPE THEYRE NOT SHIT I RLLY TRIED THANK YOU 🪐 ANON ❤️❤️

[opwolfe]

doodle request, billy suffering from taxes (he probably failed maths 😔)

he doesn't get this bullshit

[opwolfe]

May I politely asked to give Billy a hug? just don't tell Brahms about this

he said okay but then he changed his mind

[opwolfe]

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

[opwolfe]

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

[opwolfe]

Tim: good cop

Damian: bad cop

Dick: you better fucking be interrogated by my brothers

[opwolfe]

A visit at the vet.

I couldn't possibly wait for Halloween

[opwolfe]

[opwolfe]

He is my favorite artist, I would drop kick god down the holy white steps into hell for him

Daniele Di Nicuolo posted Jason and Nightwing art titling it "Brothers" and I automatically sang Bratja