orange-clown

[orange-clown]

A letter for shizun, I wonder what it’s about? 👀👀

[orange-clown]

Renne: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Estelle: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~

Renne: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Kloe, recording: This is so cute.

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susie grits her teeth and grinds her jaw and spends the entire spring of their fourth grade year plotting how to get back at calvin for stealing mr. bun and dropping him in a mud puddle.

(it involves putting hobbes into a dress and taking polaroids; she still has the photos, even thirty years later)

she does her homework. does his homework too, sometimes, because mrs. wormwood gives them different math problems to discourage cheating, and susie likes math. his mom finds out when they’re in sixth grade, and offers her four times the going rate to tutor calvin in math. she agrees, because even at twelve she knows college isn’t cheap (not the ones she’s eyeing, anyway).

she has to learn quickly about superheroes and dinosaurs and aliens, because calvin won’t listen unless there’s at least one. she has her own opinions of aliens (real, but not the tentacled fanged monsters calvin draws in the margins; her aliens are gorgeously strange monsters, elegant, like a degas painting reflected in rainy puddles, glittering in distorted neon), and dinosaurs are cool, but they’re a boring sort of cool, not black hole kind of cool, so it’s only superheroes she lets him go on about.

this turns out to be a mistake. though he draws aliens and ray guns and flying saucers on the back sides of his homework, he has a whole thing built up around stupendous man. she’s seen the costume, but didn’t know there was lore. she doesn’t want to know the lore.

it’s stupid. no one can just fly. that’s not how the world works. capes are dumb. she can’t believe his mom made him another costume after he hit a growth spurt.

she still tutors him, but they drift apart in high school. calvin and moe somehow become friends, become even bigger assholes together, and susie discovers calculus and girls. she gets into harvard and yale and stanford and others, chooses to go to california. he waves at her from his driveway while she drives away in the moving truck.

“you were never stupid,” she tells him on the phone when they’ve drifted back into each other’s lives her senior year. “you just didn’t care.”

“yeah,” he laughs, and she pretends she can’t hear the desperation in it; his girlfriend kicked him out, he lost his job, and he’s now in the unfortunate position of acknowledging that his father was right and education was important. she has two finals to study for, the nasa interview next week, and a grant application to finish, but he’s had a rough week. she can take an hour to listen.

“the community college isn’t bad,” she suggests, though she knows it sounds patronizing coming from someone set to graduate stanford with honors.

“you mean i can’t just put on my stupendous man costume and live off the media attention?”

susie snorts. “not spaceman spiff? there’s a tv show there, i’m sure.” she’s been watching a lot of star trek in what little spare time she has.

“nah,” he says, “spiff’s always been your territory.”

they drift apart again, she goes to houston and he goes to art school. she loses track of him entirely right around curiosity’s landing. she skips their twenty-year reunion; she’s in the middle of a move down to chile for a three-year stint at atacama.

a package arrives the middle of her second year in the desert.

it’s a comic book. spaceman spiff, volume one. hardcover, full color. one of his signature tentacled fanged aliens takes up most of the entire cover, while a small astronaut with a ray gun hides behind a rock. he’s gotten much better, but it’s still unmistakably calvin’s art.

except - she squints at the astronaut. she flips open the book, thumbs through a few pages.

spiff isn’t the calvin-insert she remembers from their youth.

it’s her.

mousy brown hair, button nose, mr. bun tucked away in the back of her rocket ship.

she flips back to the first page.

thanks for not giving up on me. - c

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MXTX Family trip AU - Where are they going? ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

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psychic: reads my mind

me: WELCOME TO ZIPPY’S, WHERE ZIPLESS SERVICE IS ZIPPILY ZAPPED, AND ZIPPY SERVICE IS THE ZIPPIEST. FILL ‘ER UP?

psychic: what the fuck

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Magical orb that puts a crime count on everyone's head (while Arthur is king), counting the crimes based on the established laws. (Crime count in brackets)

Gwaine (127): this is an outrage

Arthur(3): I am as distraught as you

Gwaine (127): no, no. You don't get to say that! I've worked my whole life on this crime count and I've got less than THEM?

Merlin (847): *crosses arms* protecting Arthur comes with a cost. What I don't get.... Is THIS!!!!

Lancelot (1084): I can explain

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90% of the problems in bbc merlin are caused bc that fuckass dragon was a committed merthur shipper but only in the sense that he had a crippling addiction to tragic yaoi

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the dick must be insane

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you want what

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not to be stardewposting again but

Elliott can't fucking say this shit when I'm dressed like THIS

What made him see me leave the house and kiss him looking like THIS

WITH THE JINGLING BOOTS. and decided "Yes, his courting plumage is immaculate. I must bed him immediately."

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Fics where Bingge goes on to find his own Shen Yuan are some of my favorites, and I need one where after he and Shen Yuan get their happily ever after Bingge just busts back into Bingmei’s world carrying Shen Yuan like “Get fucked, I found my own nice Shizun!” And Bingmei is so confused because who is this small guy who kinda looks like Shizun’s plant body? Shen Qingqiu is screaming internally because how did Bingge find another version of him and how is he gonna explain this to Binghe and wait — are Bingge and the other Shen Yuan in wedding robes?! And Shen Yuan is wondering what fanfic he just teleported into, because why was the other Binghe making out with Shen Qingqiu?!?!

[orange-clown]

Long time no Bingqiu ❤️💚✨

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ngl I keep forgetting that Hobby Lobby is a real store that people go to. That people actually think of it as a craft store and not as a crazy Christian mass artifact smuggler. I google "Hobby Lobby" and get a page full of results that make me go "wtf is this craft supplies and operating hours shit, I thought we all knew this place for smuggling looted cuneiform tablets out of Iraq"

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Art by Tea Me

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Art by Natcha Ngamtweerat

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I personally headcanon that the reason that the townsfolk all unquestioningly accept the farmer despite them being the weirdest person (?) alive is that they've all lived in the same tiny, rural, seemingly isolated town for most of their lives and have no real experience with someone from outside it. They probably just accept that that's just how cityfolk are, and it would be rude to question it. Like yeah, they sometimes barge into their bedrooms wearing a trashcan lid as a hat, present them with their favorite meal, and then fuck off to fish until they pass out at two in the morning, and routinely take one-way trips to Calico Desert with no way to get back, only to be spotted heading into the mines early the next morning, but they're from Zuzu city. Besides, that meal they pulled out of their backpack was pretty damn good

[orange-clown]

Millium WIP