oysters-aint-for-me

[oysters-aint-for-me]

People in New York City watching the Seinfeld finale together

#we used to be a society

[oysters-aint-for-me]

every time my bf says “for the time being” i respond with “for the time bean” and then we say “all hail the time bean” and carry on the conversation like nothing happened

[oysters-aint-for-me]

me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Customer: SHOE FETISH DMV: SHOE FETISH Verdict: ACCEPTED

[oysters-aint-for-me]

which is definitely not an omen

[oysters-aint-for-me]

hey. why can i enable subliminal weight loss mantras in bejeweled 3

#i don’t say this lightly but. what the fuck

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Years and years ago, I read a book on cryptography that I picked up because it looked interesting--and it was!

But there was a side anecdote in there that stayed with me for more general purposes.

The author was describing a cryptography class that they had taken back in college where the professor was demonstrating the process of "reversibility", which is a principle that most codes depend on. Specifically, it should be easy to encode, and very hard to decode without the key--it is hard to reverse the process.

So he had an example code that he used for his class to demonstrate this, a variation on the Book Code, where the encoded text would be a series of phone numbers.

The key to the code was that phone books are sorted alphabetically, so you could encode the text easily--picking phone numbers from the appropriate alphabetical sections to use ahead of time would be easy. But since phone books were sorted alphabetically, not numerically, it would be nearly impossible to reverse the code without exhaustively searching the phone book for each string of numbers and seeing what name it was tied to.

Nowadays, defeating this would be child's play, given computerized databases, but back in the 80s and 90s, this would have been a good code... at least, until one of the students raised their hand and asked, "Why not just call the phone numbers and ask who lives there?"

The professor apparently was dumbfounded.

He had never considered that question. As a result, his cipher, which seemed to be nearly unbreakable to him, had such an obvious flaw, because he was the sort of person who could never coldcall someone to ask that sort of thing!

In the crypto book, the author went on to use this story as an example of why security systems should not be tested by the designer (because of course the security system is ready for everything they thought of, by definition), but for me, as a writer, it stuck with me for a different reason.

It's worth talking out your story plot with other people just to see if there's a "Why not just call the phone numbers?" obvious plot hole that you've missed, because of your singular perspective as a person. Especially if you're writing the sort of plot where you have people trying to outsmart each other.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

been listening to all eternals deck on repeat all day

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

good sensations can sometimes be extreme, and i know i personally enjoy a good few of those, so i wanted to know which of these types of pain are the most commonly enjoyed :)

basically my question is. am i such a touch deprived weirdo that i'll enjoy fucked up sensations no one else likes or am i normal

#i feel like theirs too much stigma around my thing so i shant say specifically but yeah #*there’s

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Girl you need to get out of bed faster than this

[oysters-aint-for-me]

forgive me for the violence I am about to inflict (have to get rid of the kitchen ants)

[oysters-aint-for-me]

I literally spit water all over my screen.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

when i die i hope i come back as a beautiful microscopic granule of sand

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Being a pretentious nerd is a mixed bag but I do gotta say where it really serves me well is injecting humor into break ups. Like it's hard to dwell on how sad you are over getting dumped when this is a line in the Break Up Letter

#😂 this is amazing #but why didn’t you italicize crime and punishment on the mugs op

[oysters-aint-for-me]

#creative!!!