parkerhessman

[parkerhessman]

anabello​:

anthony chuckled, realizing suddenly that maybe it was a little odd. “i guess i just like to read,” he said sheepishly. he was pretty blessed—whether he realized it or not—with this insatiable need for knowledge. it was gonna get him far in life. “yeah, my house is kind of hectic, so… i just do my own thing.”

he shrugged at the mention of tv and phones and video games. people asked him that a lot. “it’s not that i’m not into it… i watch plenty of documentaries. and trust me, this thing gets used-” he gestured at his phone, lying on the table. “i just like to spend my time… usefully.”

"Usefully,” Parker repeated. He could appreciate that. It was rare to find a young person who cared about spending their time that way. “That’s good, you know... It’ll definitely set you apart, out there...” He gestured toward the big windows that decorated one side of the café, meaning the world in general. Taking a moment to look at the younger man, curiosity struck Parker. “You in college yet? Or you still waiting to leave high school?”

#thead / anthony.

[parkerhessman]

hayden-osborne​:

 “Uh-huh” she uttered lazily, not really listening to Parker as he offered her a feeble thank you.  If he stuttered one more time, Hayden was convinced she’d forfeit all semblance of self-control and just roll him for the contents of his wallet and bail. For a moment, she wondered how the fuck Lucy managed to get along with this weenie and then remembered that her aunt was kind of a loser too. Anybody that got excited about mitochondria had something to answer for, she considered. “Dope,” she chimed with pleasure, thrilled that the ruse had worked so easily. It was as close to gratitude from Hayden that Parker was going to get, it seemed.  “Nah,” she insisted as she stood, “I’m on a low carb, low sugar diet,” she informed him plainly and though the volume of sugar free energy drinks she consumed on a weekly basis was likely to cause her to grow a second arm in the near future, she still considered her nutritional choices to be pretty healthy. 

She returned to the table with an iced coffee in hand, double shot, no syrup and oat milk, it was less than 50 calories by her calculation and it was likely to keep her up all night too. “So is this just what you do? You come here to sit by yourself and do sudoku or whatever?” she questioned, leaning back in her seat and propping her feet up on the edge of it. “Are you stalking someone?” she asked as she took a sip of the near toxic concoction he’d paid for at her request, deciding that he totally seemed the type. 

“Right...” Parker uttered with a slow nod as Hayden went off to order her drink. Low carb, low sugar?  Wasn’t that the kind of diet you went on when you were a lot closer to his age and your body couldn’t process cheeseburgers and brownies the way they used to? To Parker, it was a bit concerning that Hayden was on such a thing and missed lunch. He almost felt compelled to get her something to eat but what could you eat that had low carb and low sugar? Salads? A couple of hard-boiled eggs? That was just sad.

Parker watched Hayden sit across from him with furrowed brows, a bit taken aback by her lack of tact and preferred sitting position. Then again, he knew teenagers had knack for being well, teenagers. His nephew turned 16 and suddenly had no idea that belts existed and wore chains with locks around his neck like he was some kind of dog. “Well, sort of. I’m just having some down time. And this is a crossword,” he corrected, touching the paper on the table. “Stalking someone?” He echoed with a laugh. The insinuation was laughable. “God no. Some people just like coffee shops, you know. It’s a perfectly normal place to spend time at. Just like how teens enjoy spending time at...” Where did teens spend time at? “...arcades or... the quarry.” The last one was a shot in the dark but who the hell knew what kids liked to do and where they liked to spend their time these days? 

“You’re spending time here aren’t you?” He turned the question around on her. “You here to stalk?”

#thread / hayden.

[parkerhessman]

do you miss dc? what do you miss most?

“Of course. It was my home for years and years. I saw myself living there... well, forever if I’m being honest. What do I miss? Maggie. I miss my job. At the Smithsonian. All the people there, all the projects. We were all just so passionate about what we were doing, we didn’t really care about anything else. We could stay at work for hours upon hours, studying this or that, and just never get bored. To achieve that atmosphere anywhere else... very rare, I think.”

#wisteriahonesty #ask / answered.

[parkerhessman]

pick a favourite: crosswords or ping pong 🔫

“Oh, that’s cruel. But ping pong. No one’s ever thought I was a crazy person doing it.”

#otp: parker x pingpong u heard it here first #ask / answered. #wisteriahonesty

[parkerhessman]

#wisteriahonesty

[parkerhessman]

ofstewcrts·:

lucy didn’t quite believe that the women of wisteria lane would move on from parker so easily. parker was the perfect new guy, as he phrased it. single, attractive, friendly, helpful– the last two maybe painfully so. “ okay, even if that was true, which– ” she wiggled her hand in front of her, meaning that maybe it was a little true. “ unless someone just like you moves in but maybe a bit younger, maybe flirts back a little, ” maybe takes their shirt off in their front yard regularly, “ you’re stuck with that novelty for a while. and if you were a smart man you’d milk it. ” the last part of her statement was more in jest but if she was a dude, she’d totally milk it. if she remembered correctly all she got was a lasagne. it had been delicious, obviously, but still.

if it were someone else maybe she’d be a little more concerned about someone thinking she didn’t know what table tennis was, but she wasn’t. “ shut the fuck up, are you serious? your first paycheck you bought a ping pong table? ” she repeated back to him. much like his little crossword routine, lucy was incredibly charmed by this new information. “ do you still have it? ” she asked, and thought surely he would. a ping pong table didn’t seem that easy to get rid of. but unfortunately, once he’d mentioned dodging mac and cheese in a cafeteria it was made abundantly clear that maybe ping pong, diy or otherwise, maybe wasn’t the best hobby for a home shared with hayden osburne. “ i trust you, ” she assured with a chuckle “ im just picturing shattered glass maybe … ” she trailed off a moment, pretending to think on it “ two minutes in, if i’m lucky. ”

Parker blushed. Milk it? Well, who’s to say he wasn’t? It wasn’t like he was telling the ladies of the Lane to stop coming by with food. He accepted their food graciously and wasn’t exactly convincing when he’d tell them oh, they really didn’t have to. The free food was a massive help considering the state of his bank account. He definitely hasn’t crossed flirting territory though. He wasn’t even sure how to do that. Tell them their casseroles were really good as opposed to just good? He wouldn’t know where to begin honestly. Not that he wanted to. Most of those women were married. The whole thing didn’t feel up his alley. “Listen, I don’t know what it is that has you thinking I even know how to flirt, but...” He huffed and shook his head. “If I tried, I’d probably just look like an idiot.”  

Parker only nodded. Dead serious. Why would he joke about that? “Well, I do. Sort of. It’s back in DC.” In the apartment that he used to share with Maggie. At least he hoped. It was more likely in some storage locker if he was lucky and his ex-fiancée didn’t decide to roll it out onto the street for anyone to take. “I still have the paddles though.” Those he managed to toss into his bags before he’d made a break for it. He couldn’t bare to part with them. “We wouldn’t be playing with the rage of a thousand suns, Stewart, just teensy little taps,” he told her with a laugh. “But if you’re so concerned, I can help make sure any and all sorts of glass are nowhere to be found. C’mon, you deserve to have a little fun. I’ll make it worth your while. Toss in a baked ziti one of the neighbors gave me. Takes making dinner off of your plate.”

#thread / lucy. #self control? never heard of her

[parkerhessman]

hayden-osborne·:

“Incel,” Hayden offered, entirely unaware that it was a portmanteau and even less aware that it was made up by the internet and hardly a genuine entry in any respectable dictionary. Still, she was under the impression that she was helping, as she dumped herself in the seat opposite Parker and dedicated a majority of her attention to the cracked screen of her cell phone. A moment or so later, she dumped her phone on the table with a purposely careless thud, frequently enjoying the way the suddenness of her actions startled or shocked people. “Hey, can you buy me a coffee? Lucy forgot to give me lunch money this morning,” she lied through her teeth, she’d skipped lunch and the money still sat in the zip pocket of her volleyball bag. 

"In— incel..?” Truthfully, not a word he’s heard before but Parker tried to imagine the letters filling in the blanks for the sake of it. Though admittedly he was very distracted by Hayden making herself welcome to the seat opposite his. He didn’t consider himself company she was open to entertaining. “Uhh...” It was five letters, alright, but they weren’t the 5 letters he needed judging from how messed up the rest of his words would be if he’d written it in. His pen hovered over the puzzle as he looked up. “Points for effort but it’s not the right fit. Thanks for the suggestion though,” he told her. It likely fell on deaf ears if the attention Hayden was giving her phone was anything to go by. Predictably, Parker jumped when her phone met the table in a careless toss. “Co—coffee? Um.” He took a moment just to blink, honestly he was still waiting for his heart rate to settle. “Ye—yeah, sure.” He wasn’t swimming in dollar bills but he had enough to spare for a coffee. Besides, considering how often a housewife from the Lane would catch him here and offer to get his drink, this was probably just the universe evening things out. Parker plucked a crumpled fiver from his shirt’s pocket and held it out for Hayden. The exchange felt strange, especially since they’ve barely spoken 5 words to each other despite his friendship with Lucy, but teens were teens he supposed. “You’re, uh, probably hungry then, huh? You can have the rest of this muffin if you want.” He slid the plate closer to Hayden. “I used a knife to cut it in half, I swear.”

#sjakd incel i screeched #thread / hayden.

[parkerhessman]

anabello·:

anthony nodded, feeling uneasy under his gaze. he recognized him from around the neighborhood—he wasn’t the newest neighbor, but one of the most recent move-ins. he seemed nice. anthony chuckled, trying to imagine his brothers or any of his classmates reading something like this. he couldn’t. “it’s less for fun and more against boredom,” he explained. “there’s not much else to do around here but read.”

"Reading a book on genetically modified food to fight boredom? Damn, kid. You make me seem cool in back when I was your age. And trust me, that isn’t any easy feat.” Parker laughed lightly, in disbelief that someone so young found boredom so easily considering how saturated entertainment was these days. “I envy you though. If you’ve got all the options and are still bored, that’s something. Back when I was your age, I didn’t have a second to breathe. Moment I was done with school, my old man was dragging me off to work on projects with him. I would have killed for the time to watch a David Attenborough documentary.” He shook his head in fondness and took a sip of his coffee. “Are you just not into the TV and phone thing, is that it? Video games and all that aren’t your jam?”

#thread / anthony.

[parkerhessman]

milagabor·:

Mila watched him repeat the word, almost as if he was tasting it before nodding at him once. Her smile grew just a bit fonder when he agreed with her solution. “You’re welcome.” Her fingers curled around her cup as she shifted a little bit in her seat. Her mouth opened, words almost leaving her when her lips snapped shut again upon hearing his comparison. Slowly, she started to shake her head as a brief, chocked laugh bubbled out of her. “I - you’re - .” Grabbing a pack of sugar, she gently tossed it at him like a child, an amused laugh finally finding its way to the surface. “You’re such a dork! The day you go bungee jumping with me, I’ll become your official crossword partner - in pen.” Funny, how things worked out. How grieving a lost friend brought her closer to another one. A person who resembled nothing of the rest of Wisteria Lane. Quiet Frankly, Parker felt more like a friend she’d meet back home rather than a Fairview resident and she appreciated it more than she’d ever care to admit, in fear of cracking her shinny appearance. Having a conversation without having to navigate a mine field was refreshing. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just work. They mixed some things up with our order and the new receptionist is freaking out. But she’s sweet. Some reassurance won’t go wasted on her. Speaking of work. Any new interesting contracts ahead?”

Parker just managed to catch the sugar packet. Though not without fumbling with it at first, the silly thing slipping through his uncoordinated fingers and making him lunge forward slightly to capture it properly. For a moment, he felt like he was somewhere else. Back in DC. In another coffee shop. With another woman. It was such a shame how quickly Maggie still slipped in and out of his mind, still nowhere and everywhere for him despite the time and distance. “Okay, maybe I was a little overzealous with my word choice. Closest thing I’ve been to bungee jumping is probably bouncing on my niece’s kiddy trampoline. The thing still sent me flying. Learned never to do that again.” He chuckled at his own expense. He nodded at Mila’s assurance, glad it wasn’t anything too serious. “Ah, a few. Someone wants a built-in bunkbed and some lights installed along the walls inside. Fancy wood they chose too. It’ll definitely help give them an edge if they ever decide to put the house on the market.” It felt boring to get into so Parker decided a topic change was for the better. “You know what I’m gonna keep this,” he told Mila, holding the sugar packet up before tucking it into his shirt’s pocket. “Don’t think I’ve actually collected one from this place yet. I have a collection, you know. Of sugar packets. Weird, I know. But it’s better than a photo album in my opinion.”

#thread / mila.

[parkerhessman]

devosbcrne·:

On the surface it was unexpected for Devon to enjoy being around people. They were a quintessential loner and it was rare to see them with more than two people at a time. However underneath his misanthropic bravado he hated being alone, especially in his own house. They needed the background chatter and noise of coffee beans being grounded to remind themself that they weren’t going to be left alone again. He would sit by himself sipping a White Chocolate Mocha and listening to other people’s conversations. They never intervened but they could make an exception for a neighbor having a crisis over a crossword puzzle. “That’s a good question. I’ve never seen somebody get masochistic enjoyment out of doing a crossword puzzle before. The only thing you’re hurting are the poor trees cut down to make the newspaper. You do realise you can download word games on your phone, right ? It’s more convenient.” Devon hoped that Parker didn’t have a burner phone but he assumed he would have noticed if he saw someone in Wisteria using one. “Anyway, the answer’s dweeb.”

Turns out, when you’re as flustered as Parker was over 59 across, you attracted attention. He turned toward the direction the voice was coming from, hoping it wasn’t anyone too intimidating. His tense shoulders relaxed when he recognized it was only Lucy’s nephew, Devon. “Dev, uh, hey. Yeah, well, that might be a little tricky for me because—” He took his phone out of his pocket to reveal a rather chunky old Sony Ericsson... that still had a keypad. “It’s got color and a camera but the ability to download apps isn’t really in its wheelhouse. Reliable though.” He gave the device a little shake before slipping it back into his jeans. “D-W-E-E... well, will you look at that... You’re right. Huh.” Parked finished writing the word and set his pen down before turning to face Devon. “You’re very clever, aren’t you?”

#thread / devon.

[parkerhessman]

ofstewcrts·:

even before parker could explain the excess cookie she had accepted and pulled the plate closer to herself with a “ thank youu, ” a sweet treat she didn’t have to share was something she wouldn’t decline. with a mouth full of cookie the corners of her lips pricked up into a smirk. parker’s relationship with the women of wisteria lane, or rather, what they perceived to be their relationship with him never failed to amuse her. “ i’m convinced you could get away with never buying food ever again if you really tried, you know ” she noted between bites. she was only a little bit jealous. “ fix a sink every now and again just to keep them happy, you’re set. ” she mused. but pause came when he, of all things, suggested ping pong. brows furrowed a little and she let it set a second while she processed “ ping pong, ” she repeated, not quite a question but just making sure she heard it right. “ yeah, i’ll be honest with you, getting into ping pong had actually never crossed my mind. ” she didn’t even know where to get anything to do with ping pong, aside from a frat house maybe but she was short on those. “ are you into ping pong? a ping pong-er? a ping pong-ee? ”

"Oh c’mon.” Parker rolled his eyes a little, hoping Lucy wouldn’t catch the pink that was probably coloring his cheeks. “It’s probably just the ‘new guy’ thing. Soon enough, someone else will move in and their generosity will go straight to that person. It’s just... yanno, the novelty of me. I fix things and I’ve never tried their tuna casserole in my life; they’re just thirsty for compliments their husbands probably don’t have the time to give them.” It was easier to look at it that way than to believe it had anything to do with his appearance. Years of high school insults made it difficult for Parker to believe he’d actually grown up into something the modern woman would find ‘attractive’. “Yeah, ping pong,” Parker repeated simply, unsure why those two words seemed to confuse Lucy. “You know, table tennis. Ping pong.” Was it that strange of a interest to pick up? He chuckled at the terms Lucy was coining in her confusion. “Of course. First proper paycheck I ever got, I got myself a ping pong table. It’s so fun and you don’t even have to be athletic to enjoy it. You just gotta move around from side to side quick. Like you’re avoiding congealed Mac N Cheese at a cafeteria food fight.” Not that he was speaking from experience. (Or was he?) “It’s fun,”  he reiterated. “You don’t really even need a ping pong table. You can just DIY it with household stuff. It’s a blast, trust me.”

#thread / lucy. #akjshd i figured he had to be into a very odd sport

[parkerhessman]

anabello·:

“for sure,” anthony said, going back to his book. but then he kept talking. anthony found himself smiling. he’d often thought the same thing, not about crosswords, but about many of the other things he’d picked up in the past. “it’s okay. a little basic, but…” he shrugged. “it’s about genetically modified food. not exactly thrilling.”

“Genetically modified food?” Parker took a beat to really look at the person he was talking to now. Couldn’t have been any older than twenty. Maybe even twenty-one if he was really pushing it and the guy had some incredibly fortunate babyface genes. “You know, if I thought I had no idea what young kids were into nowadays before, I’m definitely not sure now.” Parker chuckled, shaking his head. “Quite a topic to get into for fun. Or is that... you know, for school?” It would make more sense if it was. Then Parker wouldn’t feel totally out of touch with the younger generation and their interests. TikTok was hard enough to comprehend as is.

#thread / anthony.

[parkerhessman]

ashwrths·:

A nod followed as confirmation, a light shrug of her shoulders as if reassuring him that he meant no harm and she was well aware of such. “Rose used to mention you, says you have one hell of a magic touch when it comes to fixing things.” Nonetheless, she shakes the former stranger’s hand, she was nothing if not polite. “Good to officially meet you then. It’s a shame that it took this kind of tragedy for people to come together, but that may be one of the only things they are good for right?” 

The words brought a blush to his cheeks. Even in death, Rose had a way of making him feel appreciated. “Ah, well, it’s my job, you know. Would be a shame if I wasn’t any good at it. My dad would turn in his grave if he found out I was leaving people’s houses worse off than when I came in.” Heath Hessman was the only reason Parker knew his way around a toolbox and a home. Without his old man making him put in a crazy amount of hours during the summer of his high school years, who knew what he’d be doing for money right now? “Absolute shame, but at this point, it’s probably better to look at the bright side, right? Pleasure to officially meet you.” He gave a polite smile before releasing her hand and returning his own to the warmth of his pocket. “How are you, uh... holding up? Though you’re probably sick of hearing the question.”

#thread / emily.

[parkerhessman]

holdenwhittaker​:

“Parker, right.” Like he gave a shit? But still he needed to pretend to care. Holden listened to him as he spoke of Rose and his relationship with her. That was one of the things that annoyed him the most about her. Her ability to make friends and attract people. “It’s fine, I’m not that sensitive.” The question gave him pause because yes - he knew her well. In another life at least. “Not as much as most people here. We were civil. She always seemed very nice and happy. Guess you never know what goes on inside someone’s head, am I right?”

Guess you never know what goes on inside someone’s head, am I right?  "Yeah...” Parker agreed. Though he wasn’t only thinking of Rose at this moment but someone else too. Someone far away. From another life. “Damn shame,” Parker commented, bringing himself back to the conversation and out of his head. “Real nice lady she was...” He could still recall the sound of her laugh when she’d charitably entertain his dorky jokes while working on her sink. “Anyway, uh, never caught your name,” Parker mentioned, pushing up his glasses with his index finger before holding his hand out for the other to shake. “You are?”

#thread / holden.

[parkerhessman]

ofstewcrts·:

“ bold of you to assume bullies don’t learn their best burns from their science teachers, ” lucy retorted confidently, though it was the furthest thing from the truth. among students of fairview middle lucy was likely best known for jangling lanyard of keys, trying to cover coffee stains with a strategic scarf, and getting a little too enthused about science fair season. she nodded at his answer, charmed by the little routine he had but she quickly got swept up in providing an answer to his question “ you, sir, are looking at a free woman. ” she announced, holding the air of pride for a second before she conceded “ until five anyway, hayden’s at a sports thing, i said i’d pick her up. ” and though she struggled in a lot of other areas of life, punctuality when it came to her niece and nephew was something she was a champion of. “ i was hoping maybe you’d have some advice for what to do with all my free time. between crosswords, of course. ” 

“Ooh,” Parker sounded jokingly. “Miss Edgy over here,” he teased, a small chuckle following his words. At her announcement, he couldn’t help but feel pleased for her, even offering a small clap in response after he popped what remained of the muffin on his plate in his mouth. A beat passed as he chewed and swallowed before he spoke again. “Well, you can start by, uhh...” He looked at his table, as if the answer would be somewhere on it among his items. “—having this last cookie.” He scooted the plate with a rather chunky cookie on it over to Lucy’s side. “One of the ladies from the Lane saw me here and got 3 too many for me,” he explained. “I enjoy a good cookie now and again but this place does cookies the size of small planets and I’m only one man so please, have at it.” Parker was no stranger to gifts from the women of the neighborhood since he’s moved in. They were so generous they’ve practically been providing his every meal since he’s arrived, it was crazy. “As for other things to do during all this free time you always seem to have, ever consider getting into ping pong?”

#thread / lucy.

[parkerhessman]

ofstewcrts·:

lucy eavesdropped for a moment, though she didn’t think it really counted as eavesdropping if her neighbour was speaking to himself about a freaking crossword puzzle. besides being arguably the closest thing lucy had to a friend since rose’s passing, parker was also great for making her feel like less of a nerd by comparison. “ you sure it isn’t six letters? ” she asked sliding into seat opposite him. self invited, of course. waiting a mere moment before she delivered the punchline to her joke, “ parker is six letters. ” she pressed her lips together in small smile. allowing a beat to pass before she continued with her next line of questioning, not especially invested in the answer to 59 across. “ do you do sudoko too? or is that too much a hip, new thing for you? ”

Parker’s attention shifted when someone joined his table. Though his lips pulled into a smile when he realized it was just good ol’ 4361. Lucy. Possibly one of the only people at Wisteria that didn’t intimidate him within an inch of his life. Setting down his pen on the table, Parker gave her his attention. “Sick burn, Miss Stewart. One of your middle-schoolers been coaching you?” He took the moment to take a sip from his mug of coffee, the beverage inside having gone cold with how he’s ignored for the sake of completing his puzzle. “Nah, Sudoko’s for the cool kids, you know how it is. I’m staying humble with my weekly crossword.” He set the mug down. “What brings you here? Hayden and Devon finally give you a moment?”

#thread / lucy.

[parkerhessman]

ashwrths​:

“I try to branch out from my usual cooking magazines and homestyle catalogs. Guess if this taught us anything it was to not judge a book by its cover, don’t you agree?” The blonde raised an eyebrow at his comment. “Since you never do quite know what is going on in someone else’s head.” She knew that Rose had befriended Parker before her death, but mostly he was just known as the new guy who did odd jobs around the neighborhood.

“Well, you got me there.” Like really badly. Parker pushed his lips together sheepishly, hoping his expression came across at least half as apologetic as he felt. Time for a subject change. Like right this millisecond if his brain could manage it. “Emily, right?” The name came to him the longer he looked at her. “Think I’ve seen you once or twice when I was working on the remodel job at Rose’s.” He stuck his hand out. “I’m Parker.”

#thread / emily.