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I'm sorry but I downloaded maleware onto your computer... yeah no not malware, *male*ware, your computer is a boy now... he said so himself, that's how i know. he also told me to tell you he like-likes you. yeah he still runs like normal he's just a boy now. oh btw he has no more space on his hard drive. yeah...yeah it's all maleware now, sorry

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Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

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been thinking about this today

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Whatever the case, feel free to write long-winded explanations in the tags, I WILL read them!

#does reunification count?????? #technically independence from the soviet union but the actual celebration is the reunification of east and west Germany

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I feel I should emphasize that this is a joke, and I have nothing against Eddy. Eddy and Rhea are both good characters imo.

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Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1

The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.

So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.

So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.

Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.

And the probe is working again.

From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.

#yo what the fuck

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The US military emitted 640 times as much CO2 as Taylor Swift last year

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I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

#guys what the fuck are you doing over there #that explains so much

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When will creators of famous and beloved franchises realise that no fan in the history of fandoms has wanted the sequel with the new generation to have higher stakes and more angsty drama than the original.

A Fan: Wow, can’t wait to see the heroes’ children living in a world that has been made better by the original heroes, having a loving and respectful relationship with the hero I loved and respected as a child, and dealing with their own adventure that might not be as high stake as saving the world, but is important for their own personal journey. 

A creator: How about the world is ending again, the new generation hates the heroes, who have become major assholes for no reason, and everything is bigger and goes more boom.  

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i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

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“afab chests aren’t inherently sexu—” please say breasts please just say breasts please please please stop throwing the term “afab” around say tatas say titties say big bahoona bazingoroos if you must

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what if i just rest my eyes for a second

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"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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Terrified by how this is gonna play out. Dragon/oni imagery in ninjago has famously always ended well for the characters involved.