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penisgargle · 2 years
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fucking livid
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penisgargle · 2 years
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Unpopular opinion but literally not one person in the world should have their human rights violated
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penisgargle · 2 years
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i love posting at irregular hours to keep my followers on their toes
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penisgargle · 2 years
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decriminalize:
sex work
addiction
criminalize: 
golf
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penisgargle · 2 years
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If they touch my daughter, I burn everything
[Mexico] February 2021 / March 2021 #8M2021
- @Emily_Lykos
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penisgargle · 2 years
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this is actually a lie, in this timeline he died because he tried to fuck the peanut butter
RIP joe rogan, slipped and fell into a jar of peanut butter and drowned
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penisgargle · 2 years
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this is entrapment
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penisgargle · 2 years
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so im trying to decipher this chart on wikipedia that has common vampire weaknesses in it and
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a ‘green/yes’ is a weakness, a ‘red/no’ is something that isnt a weakness, and a ‘?’ is something that has never been addressed but fucking riddle me this
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in what lore are vampires weak to getting soggy in milk
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penisgargle · 3 years
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All these nurses leaving their jobs because they won’t get vaccinated and claiming it’s because God will protect them is the modern day version of the story of the drowning man who refused to get into boats coming to save him because he said he was waiting for God to save him instead and then he dies and he’s like “wtf God why didn’t you save me” and God’s like I sent you boats you fucking ding dong
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penisgargle · 3 years
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god employers really do be like: attach your cover letter here. now attach your resume here. now re-enter everything you just put on your resume but do it manually and with the least user friendly piece of shit software you've ever used in your life. now you'll never hear from us again. now fucking die ❤️
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penisgargle · 3 years
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I just came up with a horrible drawing game.
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penisgargle · 3 years
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shoes I’ve been obsessed with lately
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penisgargle · 3 years
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Also I think a lot of young people on the left are growing up without understanding "you can and will make mistakes in life and who you are is defined by how you move forward from them" and instead are doing things like "I must always be up the latest social justice language and must always avoid mistakes lest i be ostracized and cancelled for it so here is everything I support just so you don't think I don't support it, and I'll just feel bad and guilty for every mistake when I do make them and all this makes me a good person". It's like congrats you made Catholic guilt but woke
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penisgargle · 3 years
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i think i would rather encounter multiple women who take astrology too seriously over even one guy who genuinely believes in sigma/alpha/beta male bullshit
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penisgargle · 3 years
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i hate star trek because every time theyre like “oh my god the skringles have broken the crankus treaty with the skronglies which mean the flongles are starving because they cant get binkbonk berries” and every time im like “oh my god they cant get binkbonk berries…”
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penisgargle · 3 years
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They be blessing
{ they're called glass frogs btw }
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penisgargle · 3 years
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