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this is so cute

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[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

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Con sonido! 🔈🔉🔊

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What did you just call me? Cunt? Like the philospher?

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We need to let adults fight without catching an assault charge...like I'm talking about consensual fighting. Not jumping folks, hiding no weapons none of that. Just going at it in the parking lot

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would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

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Hungry?

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"I bet it doesn't hurt that bad, I don't have time for this shit."

#190 TIMES???

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They really should teach people how to cook in school.

#i wish i could cook

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Need Tumblr to understand that you are a marine biologist only if you study lads and urchins in the seas and oceans. If you study hooligans and whippersnappers in a lake or river you are in fact not a marine biologist, you are a limnologist.

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Which one of you designed this schema?

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Fight me horse people