phantomdad

[phantomdad]

customer service be like

[phantomdad]

you: I want a sugar daddy me, an intellectual: i have a need for a glucose father

[phantomdad]

any vampires who need permission 2 enter my house…..  u have my permission….  u wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog & wind?  u can do that…..  wanna drink my blood & take me away to ur big vampire castle?  alright friend, go for it

[phantomdad]

[phantomdad]

#i Love. when ppl do this #im kidding if ur not a child and u do this i will death stare u just fucking go to express

[phantomdad]

I’m going to say something super controversial here: billionaires shouldn’t exist

[phantomdad]

[phantomdad]

at least im standing, proud of my work

[phantomdad]

I want to frame this tweet

[phantomdad]

In her essay Tik Tok the great philosopher Ke$ha declared that ‘the party don’t start till I walk in.’ which is clearly meant to convey that any recreational gathering is not truly a party until Ke$ha herself arrives.

But what if Ke$ha were to leave the party for some period of time only to then walk in again? This paradoxical scenario in which a party must simultaneously already exist and not exist yet is known as Ke$ha’s Quantum Party and has stumped theoretical physicists for decades.

[phantomdad]

good morning lesbians, what wisdom do you have for us today

[phantomdad]

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

[phantomdad]

There’s something intensely unhealthy going on when parents discourage age-appropriate independence. A 13 year old should probably be allowed to go see a film with their friends most of the time. A 16 year old should probably be allowed to drive/ride a bus/bike to a friend’s house most of the time. An 18 year old should probably be allowed to travel overnight with their friends most of the time. A 20+ year old should be allowed to come and go as they please, with some common-sense “Let’s talk this ‘move to Finland’ plan of your over before you follow through on it” exceptions.

Parents should want their children to enjoy going out and doing things on their own and with their friends. They should be delighted that their child wants to have a life of their own. A rich, fulfilling life outside the home and distinct from parents and family is important, and parents should want their child to have that.

[phantomdad]

[phantomdad]

Men’s hygiene is JUST as important as women.

Please try not to stink.

Please don’t use AXE.

Please drink water and eat plenty fruits so you can also taste as good as your partner.

Please Exfoliate both your face AND body.

Please Wash, Deep Condition, AND Detangle!

Please try not use hair care products that say “Men” because they use the same fragrance as AXE which is harmful to both your skin and scalp. And IT STINKS.

ITS OKAY TO SMELL LIKE FRUITS. SHEA BUTTER OR FLOWERS. SMELL HAS NO DAMN GENDER.

There are ‘masculine’🙄 natural scents also; Eucalyptus, Sandalwood, Sage, Peppermint, etc.

MOISTURIZE EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY. ESPECIALLY YOUR LIPS.

Point is….take care of yourself…damn.

[phantomdad]

[phantomdad]

dont forget him