pleafortheboringtruth-blog

[pleafortheboringtruth-blog]

Where is the reset button?

Let’s stop putting on a social media show. The more I open Instagram or Facebook, the more I am sick of this fake role we think we have to fulfill. We edit the truth, we crop our stories and we put filters on our own truth. We leave what is not glamorous behind. The failures, the struggles, the pains and the fears are not good sellers. We want to control our image so much that we are ready to put on a show every single day, from the coffee we drink to the friends we have. We are so used to advertise our privacy that who we are and what defines us goes to oblivion. But the fact is, we know we are doing it, we are perfectly conscious that we are selling a fake self to whomever wants to see and to ourselves first. We are addicts of self shaping, and not only are we altering the reflection of ourselves, but we are also altering who were are inside and our own vision of ourselves. Now, there is nothing strongly bad about it as we are not hurting anyone doing it, right? But actually, we do, we are hurting the first person we should protect, we are hurting ourself. Because being confronted to this fake self that we are projecting to the world, we are creating a disagreement with our subconscious that leads to frustration, and this constant lie needs work and everyday feeding. And to fulfill this gap, this frustration, instead of facing who we are, we build more lies. Here is the circle. 

Why do we lie? 

I can only speak for myself on that matter. Why do I lie? The first explanation that comes to my mind is: I lie to protect myself, because I am afraid. I am afraid of being alone. But as I try to analyse my own behavior, I realize that lying about my everyday life doesn’t make me less alone, quite the opposite. And deep down, we are not telling big lies, we are not really lying, it is “just” a little glow, or “just” not saying everything about something, so it’s ok right? But aren’t these everyday little lies worse than one big? This constant way of pretending that everything is fine, that something was “so much fun” or “amazing”, or to throw a #lovemylife, when it is actually not true, is the worst lie you can tell to yourself and others, because how can you fix something that is not a problem? That is how you get cough up in pretending, because the more you get good at it, the less you see that you are actually doing it. 

But this bring another matter. It is almost as if we didn’t have the right to complain or to be negative, but feeling negative emotions is perfectly healthy, complaining or sharing your despair is absolutely healthy too. To the opposite, being in despair and posting something that states the exact opposite is just crazy, isn’t it? And then, we go back to fear: If we are not positive, if we don’t share positive things, then people loose interest or sympathy. Emphasis on “people”,  why should we care? How come these likes became so important to our self esteem? The few friends that matter won’t care if you complain, won’t care if your piece of bread is too burned on your pic or if you have a pimple on your left cheek. Since when did we become brands? 

Sometimes we also lie about accomplishments, we don’t say the full truth to manipulate other people in thinking what we just did happened this or that way. But, we didn’t really lie right? I mean we didn’t say that we did it that way, we just left some key clues for people to assume what is logical to assume, and what is coherent with the rest of our timeline lie. And yet, non of it is true. 

I am not throwing a blame at anyone, in fact, I am also using this manipulation, I am part of this big scheme that we all relate to. But what I am doing, is saying stop. Because I am tired of seeing my friends lying, I am tired of having to fulfill a lie myself. I am not good everyday, I don’t feel “fab” everyday, if anything I feel scared and lost most of the time. And the truth is, you wouldn’t even understand what could make me smile in only 2 seconds, this particular moment of pure euphoria, this one memory that makes me smile or this one memory that make me cry for hours. And I am angry to see that I am playing the game of this stupid social media glow. We all have darkness, we all experience doubts and pains. The question is not what we feel, the question is: why do we advertise it? Why do we have to make it look glamorous? Attractive? Why do we want people to want us as if we were a new maket product? Why do we want to trigger envy? Why is this so relevant to us? 

We have to push the reset button

Let’s share the truth

#boringtruth