poemsistolefrommyconciousness

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

This Is My Letter To The World Dickinson (2019-2021)

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

i always thought i was they monster. i thought i was undeserving of love, attention and trust. i still feel that way. i feel like people lie to my face and tell me im okay just so i dont have a mental breakdown about it. to ease my pain. everyone else thinks its better to just tell me the good side of things. the parts where there is no pain and suffering. but i think the reason i have found happiness is because of it. and ignoring that side of me is just disrespectful to who i am as a human being. everyone has their struggles. even if its just a little insecurity about how you smile or they way you hold your pen to write. or that childhood trauma that haunts you everyday in the form of commitment or failure in everyday tasks because you will be hurt if you don’t say hello to everyone you encounter. but i learned something new about myself recently. i learned that i like to protect the people i truly care about from what i think its dangerous. i learned that the way i want to love is deeper than most people are accustomed to. i learned that they way i love people should probably resemble they way i should love myself. and that’s scary. why can i feel these things for others but not for myself? why must i always think the worst of me and still ground myself into thinking i deserve nothing and everyone else deserves the world and so i do give them the world. but no one has giving me the world. and now i feel like i might be receiving the moon soon apart from the world. and i still feel undeserving. 

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

If there’s an elementary philosophical gesture, it’s that you cannot simply stick to an idea and claim it just went wrong in reality. There must have been a flaw, something wrong in the idea itself.

-Slavoj Zizek

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

“I admit to being capable of an astounding level of selfishness, caprice, and cruelty. Many storms I weathered were those that I summoned. But even on my worst days, did I deserve the pain you inflicted or the nightmares you inspired?”

— tara love / what did i do to deserve this

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

“If we are the same person before and after we love, that means we haven’t loved enough.”

— Elif Shafak 

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

http://instagram.com/thepersonalquotes/

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

“Uttering a word is like striking a note on the keyboard of the imagination.” - Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

“ur so chill” thanks i am completely disconnected from reality right now

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

incomplete list of ordinary things that are intimate when u do them for/with someone u love:

-unbuttoning or unzipping clothing

-putting on their necklace

-any hair touching at all

-giving them a bite of your food and u feed it to them off ur own fork

-catching their eye from across the room

-picking fuzz off their clothing

-cooking together and standing over the same pan while you stir and they add things

-sitting in the same room working on different things together in silence

-teaching them how to do something

-doing something for them bc their hands are full

-grocery shopping together

[poemsistolefrommyconciousness]

man the bravest shit you can do in this world is love indefinitely