poofgonebyebyesolong

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Now I'm hearing stories of foster parents being told not to worry about their foster kids being removed before a meeting like this and it happened anyway. Back to barfing.

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The important part for C is here:

IV. Required Action

As used in regard to relative notification and sibling placement and visitation, a sibling is defined  as  either  a  sibling  (both  parents  in  common)  or  a  half-sibling  (one  parent  in common) related by blood or adoption.  Neither the death of a parent nor the voluntary or involuntary termination of parental rights changes this sibling relationship.  

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I’m going to take a wild guess and say Clementine’s siblings are no longer celebrating Hanukkah this week like they were with Runfostermama.

*Clem’s birth mom is Jewish.  Even Clem’s DNA results came back 49% Jewish.

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Spine-chilling

There’s one word that respected higher ups, both past and present always use to describe ACS.  It doesn’t matter if they are formerly or currently in ACS, the foster agencies, academics, policy, research..... for the past 8 years, they all describe ACS with one word:

Vindictive

Wrap your head and heart around that.

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I would bet $10,000 that the next foster parents are going to get all of the services denied to Runfostermama and the kids

The Christmas foster parent was aghast when she heard that Runfostermama had been paying for everything. From camp, evaluations, child care, transportation, after school, sports, special therapies. All after having the kids exceptional/special needs rates eliminated (some were false, hard to prove diagnoses foster parents easily get with certain doctors for the $).

No doubt the next foster parent will have in-home services and special rates, vouchers and a case worker who actually does something instead of just lose paperwork (I know from personal experience with her/him).

Runfostermama made her pleas for services in a very, very - probably culturally - different way. The foster parents now will probably yell and scream and bring the kids to the lobby with their stuff in trash bags threatening to give them back several times. In contrast, Runfostermama sent emails, called all the time and explained herself in great detail (i.e. talked too much). This resulted in her looking weak and incapable of parenting. Her attachment to the kids was exploited instead of lauded. It was only when ACS came sniffing around that suddenly she was a problem.  She voluntarily supervised visits in the community (considered ideal), always had the kids medicals/paperwork done, attending all school meetings and functions- she was far and above the average nyc foster parent.  And I”m one of her back-ups, why didn’t anyone reach out to me as a resource?

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And Andrew lives the consequences on the other side.

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Update from Clementine's birth mom

Agency just told her they split up the kids. Oldest and baby in one home, two boys in another. They still won't tell her when she's going to get a visit.

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Why wouldn't you connect the before and now foster parents

Clementine's baby brother was born into foster care and apart from a first few weeks at birth in another home, Runfostermama is the only mother he's ever known. The last foster mom complained that he cried and cried and "there must be something wrong with him". I explained that he's a normal baby that just lost his mother. He's not like the typical babies she's used to fostering who are despondent and have already given up on crying. No one has asked Runfostermama what the baby's routine was, how he would fall asleep, what soothes him, what irritates him- nothing. Nobody cares. I can't begin to explain how depressed this has made me.

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The politicizing of child abuse. The other side to the story. Posted for my beloved attorney who started as one of the biggest critics of this blog.

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What to tell parents (and kids) when canceling Clementine's brother' 5th birthday party?

It’s next week. Runfostermama doesn’t know what to do. Friends are so important to 5 year-olds. It’s so so sad.

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Brand new case worker for the siblings has a website about being a bartender?  Lord knows I need a drink.

Update: Her masters in counseling is an online degree (at least that’s all i’m finding at the school she listed).  Which, of all the degrees to do online, counseling?  Like, how?  I had professors sitting over my shoulder live critiquing all of my sessions.  Oh well, it’s better than nothing.

The title is “Outgoing, FRIENDLY , Fun .” (punctuated just like that)  I think Runfostermama’s sister begs to differ.  She kept saying “She was just so nasty” (as in rude, not disgusting).

She does have a master's degree in counseling. So that's a start. That means she should be able and willing to write a case note. I don't understand why she had to be so inconsiderate of the children's attachment to Runfostermama's sister and her awesome efforts to fly in to see if she could help. The receptionist was allegedly vouching for her SCR clearance... Sigh...

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They are just objects

And despite my access to Clementine’s birth mom via Facebook, and that I would have come to foster agency to hug kids and provide some transition, held their hand during the medical so they aren't just with strangers, I haven’t been contacted or used as a resource of any sort other than what was court ordered.

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Clem's birth mom is out of cell phone minutes

So now I'm relaying info to people for her via Facebook. Sandy's at a visit. Clem discovered Toy Story and is obsessed.

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Clementine's birth mom is supposed to have 2X a week visits

She’s been asking when her visits are now that it’s not just up to her and Runfostermama. They still haven’t told her. Nor have they told her that her kids have been moved again. And she provided a licensed foster family as kinship but the kids weren’t moved there. The kids have no idea when they’re going to see someone they know again.

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New case worker didn't want Runfostermama's sister anywhere near the kids

Which is crazy, because she's been their aunt for 3 years now. She said the kids looked "out of it" which is to be expected. This is horrifying.

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Wherever you go I promise to follow you. You will always have me and Clementine.

Me- to each child on Christmas Day