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Bumping My Head Into U So Cutely Until Blood

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It’s just so deeply unfair that Falin gets to be a bird/dragon/girl hybrid and I don’t

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the right hairstyle for your face is the one that makes you smile when you see yourself in the mirror btw.

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cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin

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my life has changed

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Worst friend group to ever exist. Reblog to throw rocks at them

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PLS WHO IS RUNNING THE MERLIN TWITTER

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I really really wish I was a cat, I’m not built for this capatalist society but I am built for sleeping 19 hours a day and knocking things over

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i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

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Download your exclusive 15-minute therapy session using the McDonald's Health app and receive a free medium fry with your next purchase (at participating locations)

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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

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best of the onion

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booktok videos should be categorized as some sort of threat to public health

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Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

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need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash