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Your soul always knows when it's time to start a new chapter in your life.

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Still having unhealthy urges that your younger self used to have is not bad. All that matters is how you deal with those thoughts. If you can sit it out even a little longer, or deal with it even a little different, that's already growth. It's not the thought, it's what you decide to do with it.

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I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

Edit: here's the visualizer for this piece

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A happy ending:

“She agreed to love herself deeply.She was finally the sun of her own life.”

-Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

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the comforting feeling when they hug you from the back >>>

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Why does my brain gotta be so dramatic like shut up and sit down we’re all sick of your shit already

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“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”

— Mitch Albom

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“The universe only pretends to be made of matter. Secretly, it is made of Love. Rumi”

—

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I don’t trust men. They want me to be the good girl, the calm girl, the clean girl, the pretty girl, the always up-for-fun girl, waiting for their call, ready to go on an adventure on the weekend, in the evening, whenever they feel like it. 

They want me to never complain about my work. Work is boring, better pretend you don’t have a job. Doesn’t matter how you finance all the trips, weekend getaways, restaurant dates. Your only job is to wait for him.

They don’t like it when you ask them to wear a condom or get tested for STIs. That’s not cool, that’s too dark. Take the pill, don’t talk about the adverse reactions, the bloating, the depression, the anxiety, the acne, the mood swings, the fatigue. Don’t talk about the Pap smears, the gyno appointments, the yeast infections, the medical bills. That’s boring. 

Don’t talk about hair removal, the folliculitis, the razor burn. That’s not feminine. 

Praise him for being nice, but don’t mention it when he doesn’t call you for days on end because “he is busy at work”. Don’t nag.

Don’t talk too much, don’t be boring. 

Don’t be. 

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Becoming your own muse makes you magnetic. It's the secret to seducing your dream clients, potential business partners, lovers, spouses, friends, family, and anyone who has the honor to grace your presence. People sense individuals who exude confidence and have ignited the fire inside that drives them. Smile at the mirror and recognize the perfection in your reflection. Never let a negative person, undesirable salary, relationship status, or circumstances dim your light. Only you can define your worth. Trust your intuition. You know deep down what's truly meant for you.

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