princebxte-blog

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 1 || Le début

в ι я т н

Shall we start from the beginning? Or from where the curse ended? Perhaps it is best if you might know the whole story, but please… I will never repeat it again. I wish not to constantly relive my past, only strive forward. I must warn you… I have large chips on my shoulders. My past is not to be taken lightly and you might find yourself a bit disgusted or triggered. If you wish not to be, then please skip the parts that are marked. Which you shall know what parts are marked. So to start things off… I shall speak of my parents. The house of Charlemagne. Ah yes. Not much I can say, for you know just as much about that as I do, minus the few words of what people have shared with me about them. My father is a Charlemagne of France that roots back to it’s early days, and my mother was from Roma Italy. They were an unusual pairing as far as personalities. Completely the opposite, but their union meant the betterment for France and Italy together. Forming a stronger alliance, and broadening the provinces.In public, their marriage displayed them side by and side, and they were loved across France as well as Italy. But beneath this shallow surface, these were two strangers. . . Of course with marriage comes an heir, a child… Unfortunately, my parents struggled in that area. They tried for years, only having been able to conceive one other. A girl. My sister, Emily. I never met her, for she died within the first few years of her life. Just when my parents were to give up trying for another heir, my father being fed up with my mother's nonsense blaming her for being sickly and poor on the inside. As well as the death of their first child, saying she had a poor womb, my mother made a deal with a mysterious friend. A stranger to all else, and who no one knows the true identity or whereabouts of-- who spared her special herbs that might make her more fertile. No one really knows what this deal consisted of, or what her payment was because such a stranger did not ask for money… After all, this was a generous friend... But from this I was conceived… Born. Prince Adam Christophe Francis Charlemagne of France. Born purely of enchantment. During this time, I was just an infant and the certain areas of France were starting to become restless with the government.. Heretics came out of the crowds to rile government, thus starting a war with their own government. There was a lot of blood shed, and my dear parents were dragged right into it. The heretics were trying to get the people to realize that royals were not proper for leading countries. Though, my parents did nothing to bring on such hostility and such hate—they managed to become victims of this brutal world, where a word could start fires. Thus the heretics managed to convince people of my parents being these awful monarchs who did nothing but eat and use the people’s taxes for their own personal use. Though my parents were not like other monarchs, not at all. This however did not change the minds of the angry, bitter people. Using my family as an example, they took my parents in a angry mob at their castle. Where a similar instance would unravel in the very same place…Later in my life… For different reasons. My father of course blamed my mother for having poor abilities in the ways of managing estates, appeasing the people and in sex. And he would lock himself away day in day out to work, or go on trips just to avoid her. It is said my father had mistresses, which may apparently so have beared sharers to my bloodline, but of course bastards are not welcome to my father. One must be of pure blood--- One might say he is a tormented soul with all of the complexes that he carries, but I hold no sympathy for the things he did to me. Knowingly. However, beaucause of the state of politics people were angry and bitter. My father's evergrowing dread toward my mother paralleling that of the tension in the system. The people then attempted to poison my parents, in hopes that another ruler—far more capable of leading could take their place ( someone who was not me, either) Those who knew of my existence attempted to take me too— but my parents were able to save me. No. Not parents. My mother. She created memories for me. Warm, affectionate memories—where I would cherish how close we were. And the day she died. A mother’s intuition, is what some might called it, I think she knew she was going to pass. I do not know why my father did not have anyone test her meal for her, that night. I have an inkling, but cannot prove it. But perhaps he noticed my relationship with her, and knew he needed to act fast in order to influence me, while being so young. right to do so. I would have been a weak leader. Alas, at her death bed, I could not stay long enough to watch her take her last breath… He sent me away And... For next 10 years of my childhood I had completely forgotten my mother. --- As a young lad, I grew up reading… Keeping to myself. A child with an imagination as broad as the ocean’s horizon, but a personality as shy as the clouds. My hunger for knowing things was limitless, and without any siblings or real playmates I kept to myself. This began to account for my poor socializing abilities. It was then encouraged that I be sent away to a school. I remember Potts telling me specifically what would be happening to me, and I—becoming upset with having to go somewhere else where there would be many other boys my age, and teachers to help me learn new things. It all sounded wonderful and exciting… But when she told me I was to live there for a number of years, I felt sick. How could I be away from home? From the mountains? Our castle in Monaco off the shore by the ocean? That long? This is my home! But a child barely has a voice or opinion on their future, especially one with such a large amount of pressure on their shoulders. For my parents had no other to fill their seats at the throne. My servants… In other words, my family… All watched me disappear in the carriage down the dusty path that concealed me as I began to start the next chapter of my life. Motherless-- and fatherless. When I showed up to boarding school, it was in my best interest to keep the secret that was me. No one was to know I was the future prince of Strasbourg. Not one soul. It was for safety measures, in case anyone at this school might be affiliated with the earlier heretics who wanted me dead just like my parents.

υ n т r υ ѕ т e d

***************тrιgger warnιng***************

[ Section contains mild notes of child rape/molestation]

So I started my life there at the boarding school, where priests taught us just about everything.

Because I was so shy, I had some problems with the other boys. They didn’t like that I kept to myself, considered it to be snobbish of me… Even though, it was more so because I was not interested.

After getting beaten up a few times, a man showed up to my rescue. Another instructor. He was young and quick witted. Eyes bright and full.

He was kind… Gentle… His smile contained nothing but honest intentions and he was my mentor. Quickly this man became so close with me, I thought of him like a father or an older brother and would do just about anything for him.

Anything.

After about a year of having confided in this teacher of mine, he learned my secret of being the prince of France, which immediately took a turn.

Things started to change…

Shift.

I was delving deeper into subjects like piano and violin… Sailing—Geography… And he began to get irritable with me.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing that was so wrong, but quickly things began to escalate. I was starting to fear him, and for the first time in my life… An adult struck me.

I was afraid to show up to my dorm, for I knew he was there. He would drill me with other subjects outside of courses I took. His mentorship became so incredibly strict… I started crying myself to sleep at the bruises he’d leave on me when getting things wrong.

I hid from the rest of the world. Masked my emotions, and did my best not to cry… For a prince that cries is not worth being a prince, or a person. Either I was a prince and I acted as such, or I am not anything.

This was his way of teaching me, and I learned quickly what I was to become. This was serious, and maybe this man was teaching me something valuable… I was becoming brain washed, day after day. That this was okay.

A child needed a bit of discipline. Even if It mean that I buttoned my shirt a bit higher to hide the marks… Brush my hair over a certain part of my face to cover the discoloration.

I masked myself to the point of being nonchalant.

I was going to be the perfect nobleman the world has ever seen.

Thrusted into this cookie-cutter of a life. I had no chance at a normal childhood, and learning of my lineage made me realize this. That is… Till one night, when I snapped.

I tried hiding my love for geography, for music. Really.

I did not want this man to touch that part of me. To learn of my love for things. A prince does not love.

But a boy does…

When I came back from a rehearsal that went just a little too late, I knew I was in for it. Walking into my room, it was dark.

Maybe he didn’t come? It was a bit of a relief to think maybe for one night he’d give it a rest.

But no… A drunk man … Pulled me to my bed… It was him, and before I could protest- I was choked and told to keep quiet.

I smelt the alcohol on his breath.

This man was the devil.

My tears stained my pillow as I whimpered and cried.. Telling me in trembled whispers to stop.. But he continued. He continued until he was finished.

Am I a prince now?

Maybe this was a test of my tolerance for things, for horrible things. I did not know, nor did I want to say. He told me if I ever told anyone… He would make sure I would never become a prince, never go home… Ever.

I swallowed my tears, and when he found my music…. Oh

That was it.

I snapped.

Am I a prince now ?

I wasn’t in my body anymore. I was blocking out all that was being done.

Every night it seemed to get worse.

For months this man did such vile things to me. I could never bear to think anyone else-…

But never mind, that isn’t important.

I began to lose myself. Detach from my body, push my astrol form away from my body into a corner, and from there a voice was heard. Developed--- After this, strange things began to happen whenever I was alone. The mirrors spoke to me, I could hear whispers at night when asleep. I began to find comfort in them, when otherwise a young child such as myself might run in terror, but the only true terror was the man who claimed to be my tutor and did not stop the harassment or assaults he would consistently pursuit on me.

I learned that in order to appease this man, I had to be him. Act like him, behave like him—be the righteous prince. Callous and cruel-- the voice agreed as well, that in order for me to be safe. I had to put out a new persona. One that everyone would accept and expect--

Be like my father—As he, my mentor, would often put it.

The father that took me away from my mother at her death bed

The father that…. would snuff out all the life of the boy that was me. ... and I... would Block all of it till I could be free.

But I would not be free, I would not be myself … Not for a very long time.

***************/тrιgger warnιng***************

My mentor said that my father knew of what was being done, after I had threatened to break my silence one day… To me this meant that no one would ever care about the atrocities, not even my own blood. And because of this, my heart frozen. Like a stone cold statue in the winter. And when my father would visit on holiday, rather than have me move home, he confirmed that it was all true. To think such horrible things to appease the evil that was being done to me. After that year finished, my mentor convinced the board that I was ready to leave. To graduate. And it was then that I found out my father had been killed in a scuffle along the countryside. It was a relief, to be honest. A province needed their leader And that is when things became far more rigorous as far as my education went Thus, because of all the studying he made me do on the side… Hours of whippings, among other things. I was able to test out of specific courses due to all my independent study. I barely slept. I earned my degrees just before 17 and moved back home in time to take up the throne. When I returned from school. My servants were excited, but I was not I could no longer greet them with the same warmth I once had as child. For I was now a trained dog, who did all he was told to avoid being taken advantage of. To avoid his private "scoldings". The man never let me be a child. I was too young to have this kingdom under my control… Or rather his control.

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 2 || Un monstre

υ η - м σ η s т я ε

Christmas was upon the castle of Charlemagne. The mountains were covered in snow, and everything was in high spirits for the holidays. About as high as one could be, that is… Except myself. My mentor kept close, and I did all that I could to avoid making him angry with me. As much as his abuse haunted me… He began letting up just a tiny bit with me. I could actually breathe, and there were times where I would take walks all on my lonesome through the gardens, through the secret passages of the castle. But because of the situation with the nearby town Alsace, and it’s increasing need for administrative authority… My time was strained to focus on that. I was a child, I knew of the government and how to run one. I graduated years before my peers… So of course I knew best. My mentor however, was keen on making sure to influencing me further. Making me make decisions with his bias. He’d tell me what to choose, and gave me a look when I might decide out of his favor… Some times these actions were ruthless, cold… And I felt ill to act such a way. What might the townspeople think of their prince? I even agreed to execute a man who stole bread for his family, though… It was only because he lost his job, as the cost of my decision, or rather … My mentors. This stealing was a petty offense, but my mentor wanted me to make an example of him. To set him to death by hanging. The town was outraged, and I felt like this was going to be a rough life… Could I truly live with myself for this? The moment they were to hang him, I stopped and told the people it would not happen. That I’d share the castle’s bread with the families that lost their employment. My Mentor was not pleased, to the point of making them execute this man, purposefully pulling the level which gave way to the man’s support and he fell to his death. I was blamed. As it was my mentor, a part of my committee… And my mentor reminded me that night, who was to rule and how it was done… He gave me a lesson I would never forget. The little voice in my head began to strengthen with resistance to this evil that was being done to me… I had a realization, and just before I passed out due to my mentor strangling me into unconsciousness I made a decision to do something about him. To take back my kingdom. When I awoke, It was Christmas eve…

¢ н α и g є я

At this point in my life, my mind had been coddling itself. You know that little voice in your head? They call is a conscience, the glimmer of hope you feel… It is said to be a human trait to have this. I clung to this hope, this feeling for dear life. Relying on it at all times, and tugged on it in even the desperate times. Well this… This was one of those times. This voice telling me I’d be alright, that things were going to change for the better today. That I had the plan to kill my mentor. I was going to slit his throat, I was going to murder him… And then… Maybe explain myself. I was a 12 year old boy with more authority then a governor, then a judge… I had great power, great pressure… And the abuse never ceased. Today was going to change. The day felt surreal, but I went on… Thinking to myself, using my conscience as a conversation partner. I held my head up on the arm rest of my throne acting like I was bored. It was awful really, but this façade I held was so profound, it seemed to take over even when the man who created this… Monster in me, wasn’t even present. I looked around the room, wondering where he had gone… But then a shout came from down the hall and a very pissed looking teacher of mine held a book up… My diary Oh… He must have found it, and read it! I didn’t mean to confess my plans, truly I was just a boy with a wish to be free. But this man was surely never going to let me forget Christmas… He asked to speak with me privately, expecting to yank me into the nearest closet for reasons known to only he and I at the time… But my servants, bless them… Kept my attention on what was at hand. I started to become angry when they dragged the man out of the room so to speak on my behalf, all the while a knock came from the door. Standing in complete fury and rage that my plans had been foiled I growled out at the door. Who disturbs my Christmas?! Opening the door myself, it was nothing… I nearly looked away, not noticing the figure who blended into the darkness. Short and decrepit, I had nearly passed over… But the eyes, well the one eye that I could see struck me like a knife. Then they held out a rose, more beautiful then any I’ve ever seen. It haunted me, but the eyes of this soul who had happened upon my castle stoop was too much. She asked for lodging in return for the rose. An old flower maiden, who held a basket where no doubt dozens more were, that or they were all wilted considering the frosty winds. Letting her in would be of no trouble to me, but then thinking about the man … the teacher… This mentor and what he might do if I did let her stay made me think twice… The little voice in my head telling me to turn her away out of my own safety My own…. Selfish needs, So to speak. Really it was a battle of what was right, and what I was afraid of. I casually rolled my eyes, pretending to be the spoiled brat that everyone wanted me to be I told her to go away. To find shelter elsewhere, and just like that she fainted… Or died. How could I?? I immediately wished to kneel down and help her up, but it was too late and then there was a bright light. Shielding my eyes to readjust to this, I was immediately regretting everyone decision I’ve ever made since my birth. This was no old woman, but rather a beautifully dressed woman with long blonde locks and a silver and blue gown. I heard of legends. Of Greek , roman and Irish myths talking about the magical spirits that disguise themselves and ask their mortals for lodging, and if denied they suffer a terrible fate. But my fate could have been for the better. This Enchantress told me that she had known my mother since before I was born. That the only reason I was given life was because I had to prove myself to this woman, that I was a good person. But she was wrong and because of this she wanted to take my life away. She told me that I had a cold heart, that I was going to be punished In order to learn my lesson everyone and everything would become a part of a spell that she had just cast. She said that the townspeople would forget there ever was a castle, or a prince and that the they would never be able to remember much outside of it, and the castle would forever reflect what he was and the guilt he’d receive for holding all his servants captive inside as the curse would trap them here as well. Lastly, the prince himself would of course be what he was on the inside… A Beast. She told me all of this, but in that moment my castle did not turn into anything, my servants were fine… And I was still… A person with many problems. The voice kept telling me to be afraid, that she was not lying… And yet, I didn’t want to believe. So I didn’t. Not at first My mentor came out behind me and invited her in. She was not only attractive but was adorned in peculiar garments, as well as her presence breathed nobility. I scoffed at this decision since this woman had just cursed me, and my castle, but yielded, considering his powerful glare he held over me. The woman seemed to eye him, and smile. Almost as if she could see right through him. As the hours passed, my mentor told me that he was going to escort this woman home, and as uncomfortable as I was with the two of them, both eyeing me simultaneously for different reasons all night, I felt the pressure come off of me. That was the last time I ever saw that man… It was the most peculiar night, but one I would never forget, for as the incoming months passed… My personality had no changed. I was still a bitter child with a heart that wanted to seek revenge on the world for dealing me this rough start to my young life… But over time, things did change… Slowly, my castle became a nightmarish disarray. All of the statues that portrayed saints and angels had become dark, ugly gargoyles and monters with wings, and little by little each and every night… A scream emitted into the halls, one that would frighten me out of sleep. The little voice in my head told me to keep wary, and each day was worse then the next. People were disappearing, and I hadn’t been able to investigate or learn the reasons as to why… Could that woman have been right? As time passed, that same woman appeared again, warning me of the incoming change I was to experience by the end of the year. She said she gave me more time due to the troubles I had been facing. What could that mean? But If I did not change now and find someone to love me for who I was and love them in return, I would become something far more vile and ugly then what I see in the statues of my castle. I didn’t believe her, nor did I think she had the power to curse me anymore. She was just an annoyance. If she didn’t go away, I’d have her arrested and hanging for trespassing…. She simply smiled at me, as if to mock my authority, and gave me a rose. She told me that once it died, and that I had not changed my heart… I would become a Beast forever. It was a laugh at first. Though, slowly I began to see myself changing. During that year I became even more cruel and disgusting, and my fear for this curse that slowly took one servant every night, began to make my mind go insane. The little voice telling me that if I found someone to marry me, then maybe it would show that witch I was truly good enough. I tried brushing away the thoughts that plagued me. This little voice telling me day after day htat I was in fact changing just not noticing it in the mirror because my eyes tricked me. So, for once I have my portrait painted because I wanted to see if I could see what others saw when they looked at me After receiving the result I was looking older, far more cruel then the portrait. In comparison to the portrait, my face was the servants tried calming me, telling me that I just looked more distinguished. A compliment that was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Over a month I began to worry and panic. I began to whether as a 13 year old boy, I should be making arrangements to throw a ball and marry someone right away. Even at my young age it was not unheard of, but my closest servants gave looks that were doubtful. They didn’t believe me, and the voice in my head had become louder as we came upon the one year anniversary. My servants were disappearing. Still day after day. That is Until there were only a handful… Potts Lumiere Cogsworth… Forte etc But it wasn’t until a year later on Christmas eve that my castle would truly transform.

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 3 || Mon sort

т r a n ѕ f o r м d

It had been a full year since I had last seen my mentor, less then a year since the strange woman came to visit and my appearance had changed rapidly I couldn’t breathe, because of what I had become. My life was a mess in more ways than one. I could no longer properly conduct myself in the role that was passed down to me through my parent’s lineage. Everything had been spoiled, and I failed this witch who cast a spell on me. Her conditions proved to be too great for me to match up to, and I knew that I was doomed. I even attempted to throw a ball on Christmas, but because of the rumors… No one dare attended. It was all a matter of time. But then, nothing… My servants offered me gifts to lift my spirits, for they were also afraid… Not quite understanding what all was happening, but knowing that the others had disappeared… I merely scoffed disapproval, but the only reason I was such a brat was because I was afraid… The minutes had ticked down to the very second of a full year, I closed my eyes expected to die…To feel pain. But then nothing. Nothing happened My panic quieted and I was relieved… Perhaps… Maybe this spell was not real? Maybe my servants had been disappearing for other various reasons and I had not looked into it… Maybe this was all just simple folly. My court composer offered to play me a tune for the season and I commended him to play. As he did so, I began to think that I was played a fool and this was all a joke. My servants might even be in on it, and my mind was beginning to tell me that everything and everyone was a lie. They all just wanted to get close to me to torture me and take pleasure in tormenting what was left of the stone cold heart I had. They didn’t know what they were dealing with… Making a comment about the song Forte was playing A sudden knock was heard at my door. What is this? It can’t be… That minutes have passed… Maybe another stranger in the night. This time it was the chilling dark shadow of a specter. My eyes widened as on long bony finger lifted to point at me accusingly. Making my heart bang around in the cage my ribs formed within the concave of my chest. Just like that…An immense feeling of stretching overcame me. I looked down at my breast, grasping at the tunic I wear, tearing it away so to see what was transpiring. Complete horror filled me at what I was able to witness. My own organs began pushing against my flesh from the inside, frightening me to the core. I was going to die! It felt like my entire body was going to implode on itself with each transforming part of my anatomical form. How could this be happening to me??My doom was past due. The voice in my head was nothing by laughter, like it had won some prize. What is this? Why are you laughing? This is no joke, this is nothing to celebrate. But it felt almost animalistic, inhuman… unreal and uncontrollable. This part of me was not I I think… That part is what was the most frightening of all…. I was not me. I was never me… Am I a prince now?

M o n S o r т

You know I never chose to be like this… I ... I never wanted this I never wanted anything but my own … mind It’s like trying to swallow knives, what sort of torture my body and mind went through… Trying to cycle through and expel these large metallic pieces that do nothing but cut through me, and make me bleed on the floor. The years were a blur. Endless streams of darkness, reminders… Mirrors, and reflections. Fragments of light taunting me, and the terms of my conviction became perspicuous during the days of the sun, when my world would cast a more definite shadow than the bleakest of days. I could no longer maintain my hair, my clothing, my body or my mind for all went rampant, and the witch that did this to me… Was more right then a judge or jury combined. I was imprisoned here, with no way out all because of my foolish ways that could be no one's fault but my own. No pity was expected, nor was it desired. I wanted to find no comment on my face, for it was as ugly as the heart that I had. This was a hopeless spell with no why to cure, and even if it was described to me in multiple fashions I was doubtful. For who could ever love a Beast? My fate, was that my entire castle, my servants-family, everything that I had associated with at that current time would become a part of the guilt that would weigh on my heart, and of course the spell that was on myself. They would all forever be as it was made to be because of me. The fate of everyone and myself was the spell unless I could come to terms and risk it to find someone to love me. Though, I would never leave my forsaken fortress where I found sanctuary and solitude at once. How would finding anyone to love me in that way that of a couple in matrimony where I am stuck here in this dark place? But of all things, what human would love me in such a way as the way I am? Impossible Is what I’ll tell you… There was no way anyone could ever know of my castle for it was stated thati n the spell, my kingdom, my presence, life and the lives of my servants were all forgotten. No one knew of us, and they went on living ten years in ignorance. At the same time I had been gifted the lovely reminder of not only my reflection in mirros and waters, but the reflection of my time in a rose. It was the delicate symbol of my hopeless chance at finding my perfect match… If any petal fell, it was to signify the passed time in which I had a chance to meet the end of this curse, it was also said that if the rose was made to die in any way… I too would die… If any outside force were to wreck the beauty of this fragile life… I would be as a Beast forever, and the rest of the castle would be as it was in result of my actions. Almost like it were within another dimension Am I a prince now? I immediately dismissed this. All of it. This rose will die, and will kill the humanity in us all before I could find a special someone to be the savior to our curse… If anyone were to find there way in the castle, I’d have them suffer with me the cold fate my life was destined for. Even so… The curse could not be complete without another poor reminder. A window. A mirror… Reflection. Holding a mysterious and great power, this relic was gifted to me by the same one who cursed me, as a window to look into the world I had missed that had forgotten me. The people were all so complacent, and ignorant. Of course they had forgotten, but no one… Not one person could wonder what things were the way they were… Always the same. Stuck in the same life.

M a n and M o n s t e r

This was 10 years. Day after day… I began to forget the man and the beast. I began to forget what I was, and started to become the voice in my mind. The voice that drove me to animalistic instincts. This thing within me was possessing over my thoughts, my muscles and desires. Everything was about survival. The primitive instincts, and of course the need to make things suffer. I regret to say the sort of things I did as the chimera-like animal I was. Lurking in the shadows where no one could see my hideous form, but free within the woods of the black forest. Hunting, smelling and taking in the land as if I were the king of it. It was somewhat liberating in a sense, to be like this… But the human part of me yearned to have more, and then there was the regret and agony of never getting what I truly desired as a human all because of my mistakes. There were plenty of days where I tried acting normal. Tried dressing myself, feeding myself proper meals, drinking tea, sitting in chairs. What I did most was sit in front of the fireplace, gaze into the smoldering embers and the flicker of the flame… mesmerized by it’s dance in hopes that it might distract me from the other side of me that wished to run from it. I also daydreamed. Even if it were an awful means of torture. I would live in the pictures along the halls, and the architecture that was once designed to portray a small piece of heaven yet now seemed to have changed to a striking resemblance of what it might be like to live in hell. Whenever I day dreamed and saw myself as a man, I’d get angry, and tear apart whatever I could put my claws on. My claws… I lived in hell The voice told me I’d never escape this fate I agreed and listened to it Every day I put a scratch mark in the wall of my bedroom… This room become filled with scratch marks, and I could count a year… It felt like my once well educated mind had dumbed down to nothing. Perhaps it was because I dare not try to play a piano. Lest my nails scratch the beautiful ivory…. I forgot how to read… I forgot how to do a lot of things as each day… each year passed… I would let down my diploma for I forgot all things I learned in school. I think I even burned my diploma. I don’t even remember, the raging beast within me took up my actions. But what I do remember is that during this time I became obsessed with the rose. With it’s glow and it’s representation… I remember seeing the first petal fall… Sweeping it away to keep the table clean, it might be the only thing in the entire castle that was not dingy and dusty Not only that, but I was terrified of it. I had waited one year as a child to become this…. thing Now here I am… Waiting for the inevitable death of humanity that was still in this place, but also curious to how it would feel to be nothing. Without a mind or a life… to think only in terms of a Beast that may never find it’s mate. My days as a prince were short, but my days as a human were now numbered. Was I ever a human?

F A T E F U L || D A Y

This one night might have been the second most bleakest of all compared to the night before. It left the mountains filled with snow and animals hungry, looking for prey to feed upon. For even the tiniest scrap to sustain upon was better then nothing. This very same night, was one that brought a lonesome traveller to my door. I was aware of his presence, but let my housekeepers believe in my ignorance. My balcony had the perfect view of the main bridge that leads to the mainland, where the forest greets the others side. And when I noticed a pack of rampant wolves at my gate, then I knew there must be something on the other side… The inside that lead to my castle, on it’s way to get in. He had no horse, and I was rather curious as to what happened to his transportation. Seeing as their patterns in hunting only seek out an individual that is deemed the weakest to take down. His horse must have gone astray, and if it were a smart horse. It may follow back down the trail whence it came. I wanted to roll my eyes at the thought of another man using my things. It made my blood boil with anger, but of all… This was a human, for once here… A human has arrived, but of course… Not the one he so wished to have as the emancipator for his turmoil. The old, portly old man would be of no use, and he has already lived a long and probably joyous life considering his state of being. He seemed rather healthy… So why not give him hell like I had so learned? A scare… Perhaps. . The poor old man… He didn’t know what was coming till the sounds of my voice hushed the flames of the fireplace into nothing but smoke. My mere presence extinguished any hope there was inside that room, and I dragged him to the tower where he would become my prisoner for a few days. I did not feed him, I didn’t nothing… I left him to die there… To rot as I would rot and feel as I would feel. A prisoner with no hope, not light to be saved by… But then There was someone else at the castle quickly to follow. Looking for him. Surely no human was as good in heart as this. To risk coming to my castle through the black forest infested with blood thirsty wolves, to search for this pitiful old coward… But I was wrong. Oh … So very wrong. A girl, a young woman came searching for this older fellow. I guess you could say I was shocked, but equally attempted to frighten her, like I had with the man. Convincing her that no matter what she did she couldn’t take him home. He was to be my prisoner forever Quickly realizing it was her father, and what puzzled me the most was that she urged me to make a deal with her. Her life for his. What? Who does this? She was young with a full life ahead of her, free to do whatever she wanted, even without a father to restrict her. This older fellow was past 50 and had seen enough days that me and this young woman combined… And yet…. She wanted to trade herself for him. I thought humans were supposed to be these cold creatures incapable of feeling for others. Especially such a gentle love. I never felt this before, not enough to recognize it within myself. Maybe the whisper of a dream of what I thought was a tender touch. From a mother… A father… A friend… A teacher? No! I hardened my heart, but managed to let her pleas get beneath my pelt. Allowing this deal to take place, while also thinking about the curse and the slight possibility that she might be the one to break it. Of course… She would never A part of me wished it were possible, and just as I accepted and sent her father away before she could say goodbye… I realized that this really could be my chance, and I was now making bad marks to start our relationship off, but she was my prisoner now… Special prisoner…

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 4 || Illusion du Bonheur

Illusion du Bonheur

New beginnings, is what this feeling had to be.

At first, all seemed more than hopeless, but as passed the halls, to glance over at shattered mirrors, my reflection seemed less hideous than the day before. For once I was happy, and for once life was showing me that it was more than just the material things, more than just pain and suffering. That it was beautiful. Beautiful.

Belle.

She.

And as each day passed, so did the hostility in our relationship, every waking moment unfolding like petals—revealing a newer, more secure version of hope. I knew I had to be nearer to something more extraordinary than myself, and there it was.

It was not just love, but a true deep care for the wellbeing of another, and learning more about myself as I journeyed through this with all my weaknesses showing. Of course she could never understand my story. I was under a curse, a spell. Never allowed to speak to an outsider about the terms of my enchantment, not to mention it could potentially harm any progress. For the circumstances could lead her to believe that I am ingenuine. I only want her for the soul purpose of regaining my original form. Of course it was like that at first, but I had to forget in order to overcome and make this transformation real.

Love has to be real.

So it was.

I never felt this way about anyone, and by the way that she reciprocated all my actions I felt quite hopeful that she might feel the same, until… Not all could be as it was hoped to be, not for my castle, servants or me. I knew that my prisoner after all, was a prisoner. I sympathized with her, and wished for nothing more than her own happiness, wagering it against everything else. It was almost more selfish to think of it this way, considering the lives that it involved, but it was She who I cared for more so than myself, than anything.. So I let her go.In a sudden decision, it required no thought because I knew that if she wasn’t happy… Truly happy, then she could not love me. I’d rather that she live a life of happiness and freedom, than to be stuck here handing out pity like a flower girl. I couldn’t take her whole life from her, and so it was sudden but it was my final word…

I let her go.I gave her the only window that allowed me to see the outside world as a symbol, and memory for her so she could never forget this place that she once briefly lived, compared to a lifetime of freedom and happiness. And I knew from that day on, I would forever be cursed as a Beast, to live out my days as punishment for the type of reckless behavior I expressed as human.

O N E || N I G H T

It did not take long for the people to learn of my existence. After half my own life had passed, and the nearest village of Alsace to forget my castle completely not ever to return due to the curse, they were suddenly on a witch hunt. I watched them from the windows, in despair of the situation, giving up, hopeless of the situation. My servants warned me that there was a crowd of angry village people on their way to charge into the castle. All I wished for them, was to move faster… Take me out like the pitiful monster I was, and deliver me without hesitation.

As I let myself become an animal of game, and sport… I started eluding a man who reminded me much of myself from long ago. Taunting me to fight back, as if he were bored. That I was only here to entertain him. But alas, I had no interest in playing along, or living much longer. Kill me.

But then…

There was a voice. A familiar voice.

It that echoed in every dream of mine each night for the past past year; suddenly had returned. Could this be my serenity? My accepting of my fate has let me peacefully fall into a state in which I could begin to combine dreams against reality? Her voice was always a reminder of the time I had left to be as I am, and now was nothing but comfort. To imagine her in my last moments, was something like and anesthetic.

But no, it was she.

Belle.She had returned to me of her own will. For who knows how long, but it was a gift to me, to be able to see her. That is, until the twinge of pain enveloping my entire body, making me go numb and weak all over.

The hunter that had turned me into his sport caught up with me, even after I nearly defeated him, I gave him a chance- I otherwise would not have given if this had been one year ago prior to my life-changing events with Belle. But he returned, less honorable and wrought with a sick twisted greed to take my life from me, like I were a prize to be suspended on his wall, or a rug on the floor to reside beneath his feet always.

But the man could not regain his footing after deciding to thrust his hunter’s dagger into my back. Thus falling to his death, while I began regretting my own, despite having wished it just moments before. But she was here. She made me feel better, and now it was time to really say good bye.

Unlike before, I could seem, hear and feel her one last time before departing. It was in that second that I felt real love, peace and a this feeling of exhaustion that was much different from regular sleep. Captivating me. It was calling, tempting me to let go. My pain was no longer a feeling, just this need to sleep. As I gave in, my breathe left and I hear those words just before departing.“ I Love you.”

R E || B O R N

It was like a flash of lightening struck my chest, urging me awake on the ground. I looked around at my surroundings wondering if this might be Hell…Or Heaven. I’m dead. But no, everything was the same just as before, only it felt different. IT was just that. I felt. I could feel the stone beneath where I stood which meant. Feet. I looked down, they were like my own from long ago except… Much larger in this form. Could it be? I peered at my hands, turning them seeing veins and working muscles front to back, and the other. I am human again! The most important part of my life was then just behind me, the one who made this all possible… The one whom I cared and loved for the most, but what would she think? I turned to face her, and took my first solid step as a real man.

It took a few seconds to look at her, and let her figure out who I just was. “ Belle, it’s me” I assured with a voice that felt foreign but also familiar, just pitches from what it was the past ten years.It didn’t take long till she accepted that it was me, and that this was all real. The spell was broken, and to my excitement the entire estate seemed to wash over in light. Candles and teapots returned to their original state as humans. It was all very glorious, and it seemed that the order of the provinces across the land had regained their memory of my existence, and the importance of my family’s ruling.There was a great ball in our hall to celebrate my return, and we shrugged off my absence by giving the excuse that I was a sickly child who had to grow up normally by the ocean. Far from the truth, besides the sickly part… But it was all that could be done to answer to the big question as to why I had been missing all these years. It didn’t take long for me to be filtered back into the system, but the greatest trouble was being considered as the crowned prince. The next to take the throne. If I had not been missing all these years, there would be no question, but because I had not had the proper training or education according to the royal court, I was not quite worthy. So I had to prove myself to them, by taking time to learn about what it was to be a royal prince. I learned that I was very good at navigation, traveling by sea was one of the interests I had before. Discovering new lands to trade with, going to exotic and new places. Determining the currents, as well as the storms out at sea, so to predict their patterns and avoid them. I seemed to be most natural at this, along with my past hobbies as a child. Claws couldn’t touch a piano, nor a violin with out break or scratching. I could now exercise my fingers and coordination again. I needed to have a finishing tutor critique me on proper manners, as my Beast-habits took over most of the time, and Belle was always there.

R U || M O R S

I had plans to ask her hand, but more than ever before it felt like their were more ears in the walls. Perhaps it was the new faculty? I had retired a loto of my old servants with life long pension. A few of my closest servants stayed with me though, Potts, Cogsworth, Lumiere and a few others, and then there were newly hired servants who could not keep their mouths shut.

When word got out about my plans to propose to Belle, the royal counsel had a fit. If I did this, my spot as a royal and maintaining my parents legacy would be given up, as well as my title. She didn’t have any noble title to speak of. This made things difficult, and agitated my mood.Though, this wasn’t even the beginning of my problems. Little did I know of what was to actually happen, since the rumors began to spread. Even to Belle I’d sometime lash out. Frustrated with everyone who couldn’t understand the life I had been living prior, nor would they ever know. Because of course, my answer was always that I was ill for the last half of my life. People feared my health was the end of me, and somehow I miraculously overcame any ailment and returned. Such a situation is unheard of, and already too many are skeptical of my cover-ups, and now this with Belle.

It yet it still seemed that sometimes the Beast within me was not yet a memory. I was still learning to control my temper, and over time Belle began to grow distant. It was all my fault.

This stressful life as a prince was pushing her away from me.Little did I know, it was not my mood that had been dragging her away. I began getting word that it was the court, and the faculty that would harass her. Trying to discourage her away from me. Utter betrayl.

Of course it wasn’t Potts, Lumiere, Cogsworth or any of the servants that had stayed with me after the curse had been broken, it was the newer services.Well maybe I should renounce my title, and live a humble life. Would it be so bad to work for France as a navigator of the seas?

Yes, this could work.

This sudden idea came to me, after a lot of consideration. Of my parents, and the lands that I was supposed to govern.

The court was already having a hard time seeing me as a ruler, why not just give them what they want?

But it was not that simple, for now the kingdoms know of my return, and have already begun to talk of revolution. The thought of me marrying a village girl such as Belle began to give the people hope that the government was changing, and in turn would benefit them.

How could I be a head of such a movement? I’m a Charlamagne. My name, and my family goes back in history as far as the bible itself.

Of course the court gets in the way of all of this. Of course they bring up my childhood.

They had begun to make plans, and since me and my wife-to-be were upsetting their current ones. I could only suspect that they called upon a person who I hadn’t seen in over 10 years.

The very person I blocked out, and tried to phase out the horrors that were done to me as a young boy.

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 5 || Maintenant, dans la mort

υ η - м σ η s т я ε

I was ready to propose to Belle, renounce my crown and live with her in a happy life, take her with me along on my adventures across the ocean. These stories she reads about, she could be in so many of her own and I would be at her side every step of the way. When I at first brought such things up- Renouncing my title and leaving the castle, she seemed to shrug away the idea. Like it were not an option. This was going to be our impossible, shredded life together. But my words wore her down, and eventually she welcomed the option of my being not a prince, but just a man. Which she would say was far more than enough. Of course I am not the exact same person she met the last few years, but I am someone that has grown. Much more in those few years, then the last decade before her arrival.

But of course there was the proposal.

Everyone that knew me adored Belle, and everyone that only recently entered my life was against the idea of my marriage. But now that I was planning to renounce my bloodline as a Charlamagne, someone else had different plans for me.

The night I planned to ask Belle’s hand, was the worst day of my entire life.

It started off on a happy notion.

Belle had no idea I was going to propose to her that night, but she knew it would happen at some point, and we were planning to meet that night on the balcony. The very place, and the anniversary of the night that I really truly realized I loved her.

I acted like I had work all day that day. Dealing with the court, and running some specific errands. Which I was, but it was the errands that pertained to the plans for the night, so it was more of me preparing for our date together.

My servants all knew of it, and I sent most of the newer servants out for the day so that if they disapproved, then they could not interject.

Little did I know that my plans were going to be disturbed by theirs, for a little birdy went out and told some of the higher ups my plans for the night, and in order to keep it from happening-there had to be something that would keep me from my date.

It was 7 o’clock at night, just an hour before I was supposed to see Belle.

I had decided to take a stroll from the village nearby back to the castle, instead of taking my horse. It was nice out, and if I walked I would make it right at the exact moment I had to be there.

I had a ring.

I wore my best suit that was specially tailored, and I had gone into town to arrange a delivery for our dinner.

I wanted the castle to be without any servants, they could have the night off and we could be alone without anyone to call upon us.

So naturally I had our dinner delivered instead of making Potts and the chefs cook. This was to be very special.

As I travelled down the path that lead back to my abode, I had a strange feeling prickle up my spine. The wood had suddenly become eerily quiet, like the animals were disturbed by something other than myself before me. Had someone come through this way?

Strange.

I could here this small voice in my head telling me that something was very off. Just as I was about to continue, a strange noise came from the brush. Peering around it, I found there was a man!

He looked distressed and in pain, laying on the ground against a tree.

I touched his shoulder and asked if he was alright.

Offering to take him back.

But something about this was quite off. The hair on the back of my neck began to stand up at the sound of his voice, when he answered.

Now less distressed, less in pain.

He was much older, wearing a hat that covered his eyes. I would not have recognized him at first. His voice sending a chill, and suddenly those cold hard eyes looking up at me.

Setting me off.

I backed up in shock.

Letting the brush fall back against the man, trying to decide whether a dash towards the castle was a good idea or not since Belle was all by herself.

The second I tried making a run, I was met with a pair of hands on both of my arms, I was no match for their strength

Nor was I a match for the unfair beating I began to endure, as three more men come out from behind trees and bushes.

Each of them took their turns, landing blows. I felt the wind knock out of me from the first,

My senses going dizzy with each fist landing against my check.

There must have been a mess of me, because all I felt was a warm numbing sensation after a few were laid on me.

The older man snapped his fingers, and I was instantly let go.

Falling to my knees I could barely move from all the damage.

Obviously he was the boss to this gang.

It seemed that this man was now working as a sort of authoritative figure that people would call upon if certain people needed help

persuading

others.

How suiting.

The royal court found my weakness, unless this was a coincidence.

I just could not believe it.

How could

he

be back?

F O L I E || Madness

He smiled that old smile that I remember as a child. I was so young, without conviction, and innocent. This man took all of that from me, and turned my inner thoughts against me. It took many years to perfect the ability of blocking out all of those events, to move forward and not let them trouble my future, but as it all turns out—They were starting trouble anyway. As long as this man lived, I would suffer and so would others ” So we meet again, Adam-Mon cher. I glared at him, as the words rolled off in a pur. He bent down and grabbed my hair to left my head back so I would have to look at him. All I could do was spit at his cheek. ” Tsk. Tsk. You know I thought I taught you your manners. Don’t you remember?” He was obviously taunting me like some snake would with a rattle. His voice nauseating my senses making me want to vomit. I didn’t want to inhale his breath as it smelt rotten. My entire being cringed, stomach churning. What the hell did he want with me?? “ What the hell are you here for…?” “ Is that any way to talk to an old mentor?” Grasping my chin like I were still the child he once guided. I looked away, not strong enough to bring my eyes to meet his. “ Well, your greeting hasn’t been exactly warm either, has it…?” The hate dripping from my mouth, I could see spots in my vision. Probably from being knocked around, added on to my inner rage. What could they possible want from me now? “ Well I suppose if it isn’t obvious enough, then I must explain to you-- Ever since you have returned to your throne, with your relationship. There have been a few who have called me in to take care of you. As you can see, my line of work has changed more drastically since the old school days when you were a boy.” My heart pounded, for everything in me wanted to run. What were they going to do? Kill me?... Kill Belle? What plans were in store? ” I was told about everything, and not only does the court disapprove but so do I. I think I should take you back under my wing… Return to the castle. Get rid of that wench of yours, and retrain you to be a proper prince so that when the time comes you become king and I remain as your advisor.” That horrible toothy grin spread across his face. He had already made up all the plans. Belle was not in them. “ You must be mad to think that I’d ever allow such a plan.” I furrowed my brows and tightened my gaze into a hate-filled glare. But he was far ahead of me. “ Oh, I am well aware of it. That is why I have sent some of my men to the castle to take care of her. We don’t need any distractions, and she will prove much better off not being present in your life. “ No! I tried to keep my expression stoic, so not to give away to the reaction that he seemed to bait from me. Oh I fell for every trick. My eyes betraying me. “ Besides, we don’t want anyone knowing your little secret do we? The real reason behind your strange absence…” “ As if anyone would believe you…. Wh-why don’t you go bother some other royal with a better chance at the throne. I’m going to be renouncing my title anyway! I just came from the village with a note to do so…. The man seemed to boil with rage all of a sudden. ” You …. You renounced?!” A large bony fist, that felt familiar suddenly came into contact with my rib cage, and a pause from him as he seemed to look turn away before turning around again to suddenly back hand me in my face. I felt so pitiful, so weak compared to what I used to be. The small voice within me beginning to speak again. All the despair, torment, abuse, anger, and loneliness across my years had invented this small voice to speak with. I thought it had long gone, but with each passing second in this man’s presence, being held this way. I could feel it return, feel myself follow back to the place that I would go when in such a situation. I do not know if this is because I was a victim in the past, but this voice inside of me only came at the darkest of times. They beat me for a period of time. I do not remember how long, but I let myself go numb—follow back to that easy place where I could remove myself from the body I was inhabiting. Little did this man know, I lied about the crown. Of course I had plans to renounce my title, but I wanted him to leave me alone finally. Maybe a small lie would make him back off. I am of no use. “ Well, I guess we shall just have to put an end to this. I am growing tired, and we still have yet to visit that place of yours. My eyes shot open. Knowing full well that Belle was there all alone. I had sent the servants home, and after all my time here waiting for them to just give up and leave. It proved fruitless. As I began to move, I could feel parts of my body were definitely in peril. I was in need of a physician’s attention, but not until I knew Belle was going to be safe. “ So that finally got your attention, did it?” He recognized that she was of course my weakness, but why her? Wasn’t I the problem to the court? “ I don’t particularly like this job when it comes to women. You see—The noise they make is quite bothersome, whereas a boy such as you will take it in silence. The look of your face is far more quenchable to my tastes. A woman always displays, making the deed less complex. It is really such a shame. Considering they tend to be the top of the list. Especially when they are bearing an heir of importance. But the thing about this, is that you weren’t actually the target in this case, but for old times sake. I feel that we can only part with me taking your life, but not in the dignified sort where you think you can hide from me in those eyes of yours. Don’t you dare forget, Adam. I know you. I know everything about you, and how you try to silence the pain by putting your mind away from here I taught you this for a reason. This ability to silence out everything and focus. That is how a royal is to be. Unfortunately for you, the woman you have chosen to take as a possible princess and queen- It has sparked a controversy, and to see you again… I wish not to make you go to that place But actually see the fear in your eyes as you die. Knowing that my next step is your precious future wife The amount of power I feel from being able to possess you in such a way is more exhilarating then you can imagine And as much as I dislike killing women, since they are easy sport… Yours is going to be worth gold.” He snarled in such a way that made me think of myself when I used to smash mirrors. A beast, but more so. His eyes, and that grin all appeared to be Satan in that moment. I tried to harden my gaze, but knowing Belle was in peril all because I was irresponsible had my throat knotted up. ” Please…. Please…. The constant beating of my body had certainly taken it’s toll. My breath came out shortened, and there was a sharp pain within my chest. I could taste the blood in my mouth, bubbling up from the injuries that were made inside me. I may be begging, but it is the only way. Maybe that is what he wanted to hear, my groveling. Just like when I was a child. “ I will … Do anything, just don’t –Don’t harm her…” I winced, feeling the pains erupt all over my abdomen, as I returned to my lucid state. This is what he wanted right? “ Oh Adam… You could do much better then that… Can’t you? I felt like a wild animal who’s spirit had to be broken, and now a dog. Taking another breath, I let the droplets fall from my mouth, and watched them form against the rocks and dirt next to my knees where I had been held down to. This was a breaking point, wasn’t it? “ You can… Return to the castle… What a mistake. I’d rather die then let him return, but to keep Belle safe. “ If this had been decade ago, I might have found that much more pleasing to hear but to be frank… This job is the job I like best. You are the last brat I could ever think of coaching, and the payment I get for this is greater than any amount of gold…. As long as I get to see the light leave from those sad yet sweet blue eyes-- He took a step closer, and grasped my throat. Aiming to asphyxiate me. Much like he had mentioned about the complexity of a man’s death, and the way they hold on to their dignity as they die--he watched every emotion run past my gaze. The fear of what he might do to Belle if I were not around to shield or warn her. How pitiful…. ” How pitiful….” Tears streamed down my face, grazing over his white straining knuckles that were slowly pulling the life from me. this man whom I once considered a father figure, had betrayed me so much in so many ways… And I will never forgive him. Could never….Will ever? The night in the wood began to fade from my vision, as a numb far away pain began to pull me from where I was. This was no doubt what I believe it to be, I’ve experienced it for a split second before. I almost forgot how this felt. It’s like the thought you have just before going to sleep or just before waking up that you can’t really remember, but that thought seems like it has solved all your problems and you have found a way through a problem, but when you wake up you forget how. It is like this. The way I can change this moment, if only I had the power to change this moment. But that was it. My body stopped struggling, and the other men let go, before my old teacher slowly let go. Allowing me to drop to the forest floor. The last heir to Charlamagne, and he is dead. The older man seemed to hold a small twinge of regret, for Adam had been the one he loved to torture and haunt me like a constant branding of livestock. There was no way out, but forever he had taken away that right of his for doing anymore to me. That is… Except Belle…. I lay there in the dark. My feeling of a body gone, but someone the thoughts remained. I held no form, and yet I waited there as if something was coming, and then there it was…. The small voice from before. It was much bigger, it was an entity. Here I thought I made you up to get away. But no, it was a manifestation over the many years of trouble. All my agony fueled it into being, but also it seemed to take on this sinister nature. Like it was lying that I had created it. That it just needed a host to enable it. This voice called me, as I remained despairingly. Not knowing which way to look up, though there be a light – but I dare not go to it, not if Belle needed my help. The voice called my name again, but it didn’t say Adam. It said something else that I did not remember as Adam, but I somehow knew that the name meant it were for me. Not able to go away from it, it seemed to tempt me. This voice said that I could be given a second chance, that I could return to save herthat if I just gave it my agony again, to feed it forever. It would forever keep me in prime condition so that I may feed it. If I want to return to the world to save her I had to grant it the permission to my soul. My body… half of the rights I had so that it would maintain me. This was my payment, and without thinking of the terms or conditions—I gave it no second though, and granted this voice. it. Permission to rule over half of me whenever it pleased.

raison d'être

I said “yes”. Within a second I felt the immediate pain course through my being again. My heart racing, jolting like it had been shocked with lightning—pulling me up from the ground and back to life. My body ached… But the voice--- It was not done, for I knew that the reason my life was pulled back into this body for more then the reason to heal me. I was to go to Belle and stop those men from destroying her life. I began to walk forward, my shin and ribs clicked as I took my first couple of steps. They were certainly broken, but there was no time. She needed a warning, but then with each stride I could feel something happen in me. The pain subsiding, the scratches turning to silver scars like they’d been there for ages… And suddenly Iwas bolting forward with an energy I couldn’t describe, perhaps a little too much. I was pacing faster then a full speed galloping horse. Flying through the trees, I rushed past like a gust of wind. I was reborn. The clouds in the sky began to change in the same rate, reflecting a storm in the midst. I didn’t realize anything else had changed, besides my focus on what was ahead and by the time I made it to the castle. I may have been too late. The door was broken in, and not too far from the window I could hear something fall and shatter. Not exactly the most discreet bunch of men, but then again they knew that my servants had been let go for the night. And then there it was. A scream emitted from within, and I rushed in without thinking. My body had changed dramatically, and the shadows I casted were a familiar old shadow, but I had too much adrenaline to even notice. Belle needed me, and there they were having caught her by the arm, and twisted her around so that she couldn’t move. I bumped into a nearby candelabra, causing it to fall to the floor and clatter. The candles went out against the stone, and it turned the room dark. Everyone in the room looked in my direction, and I rushed passed them to the window where the lightning of a storm flashed through the sky, lighting up my silhouette against the window and that is when the room gasped from seeing me. Panicking, just before the flash again to find that I had disappeared into the darkness. As the lightning flashed again, I had made my way to two men already, not exactly knowing how I incapacitated them, but knowing that I did. Every move and motion was all so sudden, I couldn’t keep up with it. A blur, blood and screams were all I could hear until the lightning flashed making the room fill with light. I could see my old teacher making his get away with Belle, thinking he could finish the job. Clearly fear-stricken. He had grabbed Belle and pulled her through the hall. Dipping into the corridor, I went through the shadows aiming to catch them off guard as if I might be hearding sheep. I made my way to the shadow before them, blending with the statue the sound of my foot scratching against the floor caught the attention of the old man. Who then grasped Belle, and held out a knife against her knife. Threatening her life in a panicked yelp. He does not know what kind of anger and hatred that he has awoken. Maybe this is the person, the thing I am supposed to be that he always wanted. I stepped forward. Belle’s fastly beating heart could be heard in my ears. She too was afraid, but her fear may not be directed so much to the man with the knife at her neck just barely piercing the skin—but rather, the one that I have become. The light outside, despite there being a storm, was still much lighter than the cold darkness of my castle, as now was a portion of my soul. the light draped over my form, as I walked into it to reveal myself. I had not yet seen nor guessed why it was that I had suddenly become so powerful and agile… But a simple glance through my peripherals in a mirror I could see that I was not Adam—Rather the form I always was…. No matter though, because in this moment I only care about one thing. “ Sta-stay back you Beast!” The man jumbled out in a fit of fright. ” I am warning you!” He brought the knife against her neck a bit further, and I could smell the familiar sent of iron hit the air. It was sweet, a strange sort of taste that crossed my senses. Was I really a Beast? My cravings for blood were evident, and I had not remembered whether I had that before in the last ten years, but for now. It might come in handy. I suppressed my appetite , and kept my focus on the man. “ Get. Out.” I grumbled. The low octaves of my voice made even the architecture shutter. The man, a coward—began to take his chance, just before I sealed the deal with a large roar stepping forward in a lurch to process his fight or flight mode faster. It was flight One day, I will get him. He will pay for all the things he has done, but for now I only cared about one person. ” Belle…” I tried murmuring softly. All of this just seemed to be too much for her. I watched her crumble to the floor just before catching her promptly. This was a lot to take in… And I… Was back to square one.

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 6 || Res-La-Bol

I am a lucky man to say the least. Born in such a privilege, why should I complain about anything? The woman I intend to marry has seen me at my worst, and at my best. I don’t think I have anything else to offer then what she has seen in me, from all angles. I was her enemy, her imprisoner, a friend, caregiver, protector and lover. She has stayed by my side through every rough turn, and even in the mess of the discourse that circled around my birth right, she remained. It was strange at first, that morning after the incident, and the days to follow. I don’t think Belle expected to ever see me in such a way again, and I know that the fear in her eyes were not of the man that had killed me and came after her—but of me. What I do not understand, is why? She knows me, and met me this way, why be afraid again? The strain on our relationship is evident, suddenly. Each day as I remain alone in my room, trying to figure out why I am a Beast. Why I am no longer human—but my servants have continued on as if nothing effected them. What happened to me? That night It was more of a blur then I can recall. I needed answers, but all for now…. I can just wait in my room with the drapes closed tight, and the occasional bell ring on my door telling me that I am to have my meals. I pretended to be sick, and Belle … She had no words for me. Why so cold? I couldn’t understand. Till finally instead of a servant coming to my room, it was Belle herself. After a week of hiding, she managed to come to me. Why? What were her reasons for not discussing what happened? ” Adam….I “ Strange to hear my name, the meaning behind it only then to feel this massive frame of mine, covered in a pelt once again. My name betrayed me. “ Yes?...” My eyes were shifted to the floor. What could she say? This was the end? Of course it was. Why? How could she possibly agree to an engagement now, royal or not? “ About the … Night that…” I waited on every syllable, comprehending her words…Trying to gauge the emotion within her. It seemed like there was this major contradiction that was holding her back. I couldn’t only guess. ” Belle…I will save you the trouble—We both know you can’t remain with me like this…”I pressed my large lips together, trying to come up with the right words, but nothing felt or tasted right in my mouth. My interjection though, seemed to be like an insult as I looked to her stance. Her hands clenched tight, and I looked up to find anger in her eyes. She looked like she was ready to silence me with her hand. “ Do not ever give me that! That is not what I was going to say, and if you care to pay attention you would know I could never feel that way!” I watched her bite her lower lip, as if to hold back. “ Adam… I… don’t want to lose you… But you have got to stop this pathetic self-pity behavior. Well now we already know I am pathetic. “ I know you are probably wondering why I have not come around you I … I’m sorry, but I had a lot of confusion in me I hope you can forgive me for that—I just want to know…. Why—Why did that happen… You always keep these things from me, and those men mentioned things that didn’t make sense and when I saw you I just couldn’t--“ I nodded, looking at her neck where the small cut from the knife was apparent. “ I have been distracted, mostly just… Trying to understand why this happened.” I took a step forward to console her, I could tell she was cracking- but my small gesture towards her, made her look up in fright and she took a step back in reflex. As if ready to run from me. My chest hurt at this. Heartbroken already from the damage, but for this? “ I… I’m sorry—“ Realizing her sudden mistake, she bypassed around me in a hurry and quickly ran out the door. Letting it slam in the process. And there I was, left with my answer. Dying to save her, but to return to my previous demon Surely I couldn’t let those men destroy Belle’s life, and I would never regret my decision to becoming this. Not ever. But that didn’t mean, that my body forgot the bony grip that took my life, everytime I am betrayed here on. As if my old self is trying to remind me of the promise I made

La Douleur Exquise || Love unrequited

My plans to renounce were still in my mind, but my concerns lay elsewhere. Always looking at the East Wing, where she moved herself to take time. As if I was not also going through similar trauma, f not worse considering it was I who was a Beast. Each night, I sent a note to her. Asking her to join me for dinner in my room. But each night she refused by not showing. This had no explanation…. She could not at least give me the reasons to her constant ignoring of me? What could that man have said to her give me such a cold shoulder? I couldn’t figure out, unless it may be a lie. But for days and days I raked my brain to find the possible conclusion… And my body? I still remained as Beast. I checked the mirror each morning, though all I could think of was Belle and the familiar air of loneliness began to grasp at me once again. Maybe I should have remained dead. There was nothing else anymore for me, and if Belle couldn’t love me… Then how could I love myself? This may be the wrong way to go about such resolve, but Belle is the one that saw me for everything, and now to have her turn her back against me, made me wonder my decisions. The very next day she visited back home with her father after having done so since the incident. Though each time I was certain she wouldn’t return. This was all to get away from me…I know It was like I could never exist to her again, but if this were the case she would have the audacity to say goodbye wouldn’t she? I knew Belle-- I knew what was like her, and unlike her This is out of the ordinary—and it had me panicked Watching from my window my eyes followed her figure as she took her horse back to the village. The same village I was at just mere weeks ago as human man, with plans to propose and a happy future ahead of him. I wonder about my new future, now. Is there a point to even think of one? The thought of losing Belle before was far worse, since it was an innocent life that was being taken all because of my decisions. But this new life, where I remained a Beast was going to have to be my new fate.... I sold a portion of my soul to be here so to stop the bad from taking Belle away, perhaps the punishment was this cursed Beast-form. Only way to battle this now, was to accept it. Maybe disappearing would be for the better. Those who I have trusted the most in years past were allowed to visit and find me in this disgusting state. Potts, Lumiere and Cogsworth kept my secret for the time being. Even from those who were still remaining with me even after they too were enchanted. It was too early to tell if this may be a fluke. But I did not care so much since I had a different concern always worrying me. I sent a letter to her household everyday. Not hearing back-- I started drifting into a depression, letting myself wallow in my room. I suppose the court had their doubts in me, but they got what they wanted. Belle out of my life. Till finally a letter addressed to me from Alsace came. Belle-- She gave me her reasoning for being so cold. The men that were after her said that I some plot to hurt her, and they basically stopped me in order to save her. She realized that it was all a trick early on after the man persuaded her into letting him into my home. But then things became ugly, and when I showed up… I was not myself, or rather a version of myself. The hate practically radiated from me, and she was then convinced that I was out to harm her. The Beast she met me from before was not at all like the one that she encountered the other night, because the one from the other night would not dare kill. There it was evident that I did. My most trusted servants helped me with those who were slain—calling it a invasion, or a robbery. The guards helped send them back to where they came, and began an investigation. All while I sat in my room, waiting for my reflection to change. But this letter explained to me everything, that she wished not to lose me--- but rather, take time away to recover and think about all of this. Now she had to think about it? After weeks and weeks of not speaking to me? Leaving me think this was all doomed to be over. If only she could know-- That’s it! Perhaps if I could speak to her once more, tell her the truth about what happened. As far fetched as it seemed, she could see my point of view. It was a chance, but I was going to fight for Belle and our future. After all, I planned to propose to her. Because of this, I started to finally feel a bit of hope. It will be so then! I began writing a letter after having received hers, asking her to return so that we may speak of this in person. It may be a long shot, but perhaps if she was able to come around to send this note, then she may be receptive to my request to her return. Just a couple days, one for my letter to be delivered, and then another for her to return to the castle. This idea began to lift my spirits, maybe all of this could be turned around. When I went to bed that night, I forgot everything that I was! --When I awoke, I felt refreshed and lighter. My room filled with sunlight from the morning, and I could tell it was more than just a new day, but the feeling that everything was going to go alright. I completely forgot to stay in my room… And when I left for the halls, I suddenly realized my hairy state. I looked around at the servants passing me, some of which were maids who were carrying baskets of linens all whispering… Or giggling to one another, some others hiding their faces walking swiftly past me to get to their destinations. Confused. None were frightened of me? I looked down at myself, what could be so… Naked I was bare for the whole hall, not only that but my body was back to it’s human self. Miraculous! How could this be? Is this me? I was more concerned about my appearance than the taboo of my naked frame standing in the drafty hall. Running back into my room to look into the full length mirror I had previously turned away, I could see that everything was indeed back to the way it was. Was the Beast just a fluke? Everything was so confusing, I was beginning to wonder if anything I had faced had been real at all! Though, it was-- because there wouldn’t be this great rift between me and Belle. I had to somehow find out the terms of this illness I had. Only briefly did I recall that since the incident I had lost all memory of how I came to wake up. I could only remember like a dream, a low, husky voice that sounded like nothing I’ve ever heard—a monster, a demon? Something in a child’s nightmare, and after that I had woken up to an extreme pain in my chest. I was fire, like I have been struck by lightning Later that day, I received a letter. It was much shorter than mine, but it was of Belle saying that she would meet me. We could finally work through this. Whatever this was. I made sure to have her favorite meal prepared, music—everything. A little over the top? Perhaps But what else could I do? I had the best spot picked for our dinner, the same spot I wanted to ask for her hand—and I made sure to dress especially grand. My best suit, even a hair dresser who would also give me a clean shaven face. As the time came close to our date. I began to get anxious. My nerves made my skin feel this strange tightness I couldn’t describe. It felt like my hands were having an allergic reaction with how red they were getting. So to calm my nerves, I in turn found my relatives old flask, and put whiskey inside of it just to loosen up what I had been feeling. Knowing that alcohol helps with these sort of symptoms ( well any sort.) It helped. From then on I waited. Over time, I would take sips from the flask, refilling a few times after another while had passed—until the clock had told me that It was two hours passed our meeting. Had something happened? I was beginning to get worried. Those men that were after me were taken care of, well most of them. But could the court actually sent another hit on her? She would be travelling alone or even with another it wouldn’t be enough for her. So I had it, and decided to get my horse; Studious, and go look for her. I followed each path with no sign, no trace-- My nerves beginning to get the best of me again, making my hands prickle and itch. My flask was starting to become a main factor in helping me continue normally through the day, as I used it again. The clouds began to take over the majority of the sky, making the moon and stars much less of a beacon than usual to guide me where I needed. Thunder echoed through the mountains, and I travelled the dark path back to Alsace where I might find Belle who said she’d meet me. When I went to her house, I wasn’t exactly expecting just to find Maurice there. Who said she’d been at the book shop all day, helping their son teaching reading classes to some of the people. Odd. I had never heard her bring that up or tell me she would participate in something like that. It isn’t a problem to me, but to not tell me? Something was off. I took Studious into the main part of the village, where all the shops would be clustered together. The sky threatening with another call of thunder, this time it was so loud it spooked my horse. Making him throw me off, and taking off into the wood. “ Mon DIEU!” I growled out in anger, and that is when the sound of pitter patter began to hit my shoulders and boots. I carried onward through the main street. All places were closed, except the tavern where a loud band of music could be heard. Some Oom-pa-pa type, and then one other light that was so bright, it light up outside the window into the street. I followed to it, finding that it was the book shop. “Belle?” Happy, slightly agitated from her leaving me—but happy to think she would be ok and not hunted down again. I straightened my suite, looking at my shoes and rubbed them into the gravel to take the mud off, as the rain began to come down a bit more with urgency. I was about to make my way to the door, when I saw her appear in the window. The shop’s display window. I gazed at her for a moment. She was so beautiful—standing near some tables where I figured the classes probably took place. She was smiling. Laughing. Covering her face with one hand—like she was surprised. I peered around to look straight into the window to see what it was—curious as to her expression and who it was she was speaking with. But then my eyes caught something I couldn’t fathom. No…. No. NO no no no NO! This is wrong, all wrong!! My heart dropped. It was a man-- The shopkeepers son-- Kneeling down on one knee--- just Like a proposal. Everything in my body urged me to do multiple things. Break down the door. Break the window. Yell out. But I didn’t have to, because in that split second she saw me in the window—My heart absolutely broken. I didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to. It was enough for me to see. Turning on one foot, as the rain began to pour. I walked away fomr the light and into the dark. I heard my name come from her mouth But now it felt foreign A stranger--- A stranger is here My hands prickled, and itched… I reached down for the flask to find it empty, and threw it in the bushes nearby out of frustration. My anger taking a hold again—I was snapping. I cried out , gripping the sides of my head as the pain in my hands began to multiply. What was this? She called for me again—standing in the rain, watching me throw this childlike fit. But it was not over. I looked back at her, having no words-- The man she was going to call husband began to walk behind her. Also staring-- As I saw him, I saw no reason to stay. That was enough. And just like that I cut her from me. She had done so already—already to me. Why try any more, If that is who she wants—let her be happy. I threw myself forward into a directionless run. Going up the path back to the castle, or to wherever—a cliff, so I can throw myself off. The wolves so they could feast on me. Whatever found me first. My tears, my screams, the thunder and the rain were all mixed together—not able to distinguish what was me. I just continued through the forest—and my heart thudded too loud to think. I couldn’t sate this was anymore whiskey, and I began to feel what was my first officialtransformation since that night. My anxiety, and anger fed into the commencing of the Beast’s return. My hands were incredibly swollen and bruised—I looked at my fingertips, noticing that something from beneath was trying to jut out. Having not an ounce for my self worth, I took the dagger that I always keep within my boot in a hidden slot, and pushed the tip into the edge of my finger. Blood began to trickle down my arm—and the scent of it hit me so rapidly, I became dizzy. It was strange-- I hadn’t eaten dinner, and my stomach churned unhappily. I looked at the blade, and the bit of blood on it and licked it for a moment. The taste was not like normal blood might taste, it was like gravy. Sparking my senses, making my head spin—My skin began to prickle all over, and swell--- the entirety of my body going into this painful state. Like a child having growing pains, but far worse--- I screamed out as each finger was pierce out from the inside, showing growing black talons. I gripped my face, as it began to contort—breaking my bones and shifting them. The pain only urged me to lose control faster, as my ribs crumbled and reconnected into larger ones-- I fell to my knees, as horns emerged from my skull. Each disk in my spin pushed up against my back, and out—My feet broke through each boot, and my clothes began to buckled under the swelling of my body—tearing through each material. My skin was covered in blood, and taut against my bodies radical growth—puckering and stretching against my new frame—it began to feel too tight. Too tight. Like my nerves were ropes inside my body, restraining every muscle. I screamed the loudest I could—a great low growl emerged from my throat, like the one from before that spoke to me-- And just like that my skin snapped back, and an entire pelt of fur emerged from it-- I felt my face, looked at my hands—they were now just like the ones from all those years. Feral. And the pain that came from my heart still remained. I am the Beast.

[princebxte-blog]

Chapter 7 || Je suis Bête.

It took a few years for me to understand a bit more about what it was that I actually am. No, I was not stuck as a monste’s appearance permanently. But I am however, a monster. I l earned over time, that whatever happened the night I was essentially killed I gave this entity the permission and privilege to have partial access to me. They owned half of my soul-- meaning they could alter my appearance, my mind anything. Whenever or however they so wish—. Anything This is the Alter. I’ve learned the correlation to what gives it control, and that is my emotion—if I were to get too fervent with my emotions. Lose control of despair, anger or anything remotely negative that I felt. If I felt it strong enough, I would find myself in an excruciatingly painful transformation. Because of this I can feel this thing speak to me. Change and push me. Make me do things on impulse that I otherwise would dare not do. This alter feeds into whatever anxiety I have. It may purposefully taunt me in a mirror, give me savage nightmares in my sleep on purpose to make me transform--- Even call my name out haunting me when I might be alone in a place that is secluded It will always try to get this rise from me, so that it may take over. And when it does, there is nothing to stop it from causing more chaos so that my anger and rage might fuel it further. HUNT. MURDER. CAUSE MISCHIEF TO ME TO MAKE ME PURPOSEFULLY UPSET -- This is why I cannot allow myself to get too close to anyone. For fear of seriously hurting them, and not even knowing I had done so until it is too late. This is why I try my best to remain as mild mannered and distant as possible. My habitsto keep this creature at bay may be somewhat off-putting for those that find me doing them, and as a prince people tend to think that my addictions to drinking at early hours, or being alone most of the time is going to be my downfall. As if they even know what sort of downfall I have. As if I am not so passionate about my life or the things I love. Who truly wishes to be alone? Not I Not I… But as Prince, protector of those whom I deeply care for My Kingdom--- It is my duty to keep them safe, and to do what is in their best interst. Simply, so I do not hurt anyone. As far as my condition I did actually have a dream once (or twice), this Alter came to me with a most fearsome nightmare—telling me about my curse. The terms and conditions are a jumble, I’ve had to push myself to awaken half way so that I might write it down, only to find the papers torn to shreds by morning… It wants me to know the rules, and yet it doesn’t want me to remember so that if I break them it can gain control. This is a dangerous game that I play. But according to what it has said in my sleep, I have always kept this information--- I had apparently known this creature for many years as a small voice. The part of me that looked for comfort when I was abused. The ten years I remained alone, this thing had somehow manifested or became attached to me. Like a parasite After my death it was all that was left to give me the strength and power I needed to obtain life once more. Strange how these things appear. But for all I know this thing has found that my most agonizing portions of my life, were the parts of being a Beast. Forget my sexual abuse as a child, or the belittlement… And to remind me, it will take on this appearance. There are times where I am in control of my humanity when I become the monster and there are other times where I black out and this Alter rules me. There have been times where I managed to lose all control of my actions, but still remain somewhat lucid, and trapped—watching myself say and do things I would never even dream of saying or doing. But no one ulatimately knows what I am. This thing wants that to change, and I can feel it growing stronger day after day-- These nightmares I have give me clues at to what it is I am actually dealing with, I believe I remember hearing it say that it will keep me alive and well for as long as it is strong. As long as it can feed off my powerful, negative emotions—it will thrive, and thus make me thrive. I have no weakness-- In the last few years I attempted to test this Beast’s message. This was I am…. An abomination. I wanted to know what it exactly meant as live and well. Slitting my wrists, putting my own dagger into my chest, pulling the trigger of a musket that was fastened in my mouth—drowning, throwing myself from high grounds… It is terrible I am ashamed But none have succeeded in ruining me, or destroying this thing that I am. In the last few years I have never suffered from any ache or pain, As a child and through my years as a Beast I would sometimes get pneumonia from the damp conditions—every year around February or Novebmer…. But not once since have I ever gotten sick. Doctors occasionally come to check up on me, they have told me that my pulse is alarmingly quick, and my body temperature is obscenely high. I should have brain damage… I conclude that the reasons my heart rate is so fast, is that it burns away any virus that might attach itself to me, and that it also keeps my physique in prime condition. This Alter This thing has me lying to everyone, and myself. I am not real. I am not a human—I don’t really belong here, I should be punished. I should be in Hell. But this – This curse is a Hell I could never wish it on my worst enemy. The consequences of selling ones soul, is their humanity, their control—it is everything. You may think I am a bit too much, that is fine… I don’t get sick, I can’t die, I forget the power of my own strength, my body stays in prime condition But it all came with a price, and that was me. Some may consider this a type of power, but I consider it an act against God. Sometimes I wonder where the seam is between me and this entity, because there are times where I lash out..and my strength is too great to comprehend, and my voice Is a combination of something that is not me yet still sounds like it came from my body. Who am i? What is becoming of me? I am losing my mind. I fear. & To make matters worse, and far more stressful. My life as a prince never ceases to slow down. I learned more about my duties as a prince, and was made Crowned Prince of Francesince that night, my life has changed greatly, still it contains loneliness. But I deserve it. I do my best not to let a quiet room get the best of me. I will enjoy a drink, the sting of whiskey has become a wholesome flavor to me—and some music I write. I resort to playing fortepiano, or looking into atlases, planning my next journey. Since Belle, I began a trading business. My Uncle was of course the head of the Navy, he owns the entire port of Monaco, to which I made a deal and managed to afford a few ships. Since this, I’ve gone on personal journeys through the oceans. Taking pleasure in the adventure and risk.

C O U R A N T

I am catching up on my duties as a prince, learning what it means. Trying to be there for the people, even if I don’t necessarily have to. Sometimes I see a glimpse of Belle when I go through the village, but I look away. I need to keep my emotions in check. A single sneeze could cause me to change-- A single look at the woman I still love could too This is my life now. Learning about this curse, using my trading as a means to go around the world, and find out if other individuals might suffer what I suffer—get away from my past life And try to make a lonely life, a quality one—despite my deserving of it.

[princebxte-blog]

Understand that I specifically say timeline and not “ verse” for a good reason. I am going to be polishing this, and placing it in my backstory page towards the end for all to read. This is for those who do not have a historical era-ish -type muse. And for those who wish to rp in modern time! Only upon request and upon my request, though!  but I would like to keep ‘for funsies’ as minimal as possible. Because I rp Adam in late 18/early19th for a reason.

Anyways.--- Without further adieu.

After the second curse was placed, and Belle had gone from his life. Adam was left to help tend his country as Dauphin. A Dauphin is someone who is named heir to the throne; aka,  next-in-line.

The king was very ill, suffering a chronic condition that debilitated him-- to which shed most of his heavier, stressful responsibilities on to Adam.

Adam basically, was [king]-- doing everything His Majesty would, but without bearing the title. Which was probably best, considering the revolution and the numerous counts of kidnapping and executing of nobles.

At this time, Adam had reigned for about almost 10-ish?? years. Aging was slow, and to an extent. WHICH his aging eventually stopped due to his curse. [ details of curse will go into headcanon. Or another post about why this is] BUT Because his curse keeps him from dying, [wanting to keep him alive for as long as possible]. After a certain period, people began to question Adam’s youth [hello dorian gray ref. ;)] , and because the revolution was so conveniently placed-- he was able to make an escape.  Joining the barricades, and the fight for those who deserve equal treatment.

After this, Adam picked up the pieces of his trading business, and disappeared. No one heard from him since

[[ during this gap of time -- I leave open because Adam may have gone and done multiple things all over the world. And included himself in many significant events--which, I will over time, list ]]

When Adam reappears in our modern world, of year 20XX, he is living a fairly busy life in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Work life;

Still in charge of his trading company from when he established  in the Early 19th century. It has become a pillar in the modern world as one of the older most successful of companies. However with multiple shifts, and changes. It diverged a bit, with changes to government and technology. Because of regulations, and the government’s shift in laws as well as policies. Adam’s business would have to pay it’s share of taxes and leave the people who work for him [ thousands] without much to what the earned. To which Adam highly disagrees with. It is not right. He has been always doing this a certain way, and he does not believe in change-- or such a negative change. It would damage his company. It would also damage his company if FBI catches on to him. Which he has had a few knocks on his door. BUT-- because of these things with government and his company etc.  he will place money in accounts all across the board between France, Switzerland, and the US to ensure people get their paychecks.This makes Adam a certified money launderer.

 Having also acquired a large enough $$$$  living over the years ADAM HAS ALSO become a GREAT big investor, as well as a major day trader to which he has hired assistants to help. He has bought out PROPERTY  in Vegas seeing the opportunity from back when, and owns about half the city. He keeps himself hidden by providing different names, or other people to stand in his place as a representative of own the land-- but behind the scenes he owns it.

Adam will get many emergency calls about his work which can be at any time of day. To which he might need to make a run to wire transfers and save his company from plummeting. His company is the only thing he has left from his past that he feels might be worth any merit, so he keeps a clean hold on it always. But because of his serious amounts of money. Adam leads a glamorous lifestyle as show.

And he works remotely, because he has assistants-- and mainly operates everything from his mobile device[s]

Social life; Adam has no real friends, besides his business partners who lean on him for his wit and skill in the market. Mainly Armenian, to which Adam has a hand in knowing some of the language. They like to drag him out to the exclusive clubs they all own, and party hard. A glamorous lifestyle. Some of which they bring Adam on purpose because they know that he covers their hefty bill, and that the dancers will gravitate towards them if a member of their party ain’t so bad on the eyes. And when this happens things get a little wild. Because Adam will drink to lose his anxiety, and drink to lose himself--- To which he goes a bit MANIC

Living;

Because Adam has been living so long-- he tries to ensure that his ‘secret’ for having lived this long does not get out. To which he has acquired multiple aliases. If one were to look into his wallet, they would find a multitude of IDs [kinda scary because people may put together that he is some serial murderer] he does his best to avoid anything that requires his name being put into the system. Such as police reports and medical records. He abstains-- by paying off the cops [they see his name, they let him move along-- ] and has his own sort of black market doctor who comes in when he needs help with a particular... task. [ will talk about this in a LATER as an ADD ON] forbes, rolling stones etc. etc. have tried getting him into interviews, for he raises so many questions and eyebrows-- but he makes sure to turn down and remain in the dark. Or breezing it off on a colleague who is actually born in this generation!!

Appearance; Adam still looks much the same, besides his strawberry blonde hair. Properly cut with a length that suits the time period better, groomed to make him appear professional.

So it has a little bit of length on the sides where there is a wave,

Other times it is a bit longer at the top.

--Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. His facial hair varies. As for attire, he wears fairly semi-formal business suits. With a few twists. Having picked up styles across the years. Like! suspenders!

BUT will wears ties to impress a potential client, or business exec. who he might have to potentially pitch a partnership or production idea to. BUT just like cravats---

HE STILL HATES THEM

*RIPS OFF TIE MOMENT MEETING LETS OUT*

Otherwise he just likes to feel comfy and wearing suits or sweaters over dress shirts with nice pants and shoes are comfortable. He likes looking sharp, but also playing the part of his company. Being at the top of it-- It is lonely at the top. So he wears suits in the way that he likes.

Hobbies/Likes/Dislikes; *TRIGGER WARNING: HEAVY DRUG & ALCOHOL USE*

Unfortunately, this part about Adam gets a bit dark. Over the years Adam’s curse, and the loss of family, home, friends etc. His country, even! All things have disappeared and withers away, all bit himself. He feels alone, this world is a place he feels more unfit for than ever, and to make things worse, his curse does nothing but progress. His original method [will get to in a moment] is not enough to suppress the lows that he feels in this world. He makes enough to do drugs, and the current typical -- is the shooting up a heroin.

Highly addictive. It takes Adam to another world, to his old life where he feels like a human-- senses heighten. Worries wither-- he is without stress, or worry or knowledge of what or who or where he might be.

But just the feelings of his body in that exact moment. And because he cannot die [or die easily by typical means of a way a human would off themself] he does not mind his addiction. For there are no severe enough negative effects. Of course he gets sick from it-- he might suffer some other negative side effects-- and he becomes subject to paranoia, and happens to inherit other mental illnesses..... Otherwise this is his life. Especially when he feels most alone. He will go into withdrawal if it’s been longer than two days without the drug.

Another is his whiskey. It still provides a comfort, it is good for easing his anxiety, but it is the motions of drinking and tasting it that give Adam satisfaction. Pairing this with the H-- makes Adam feel alive, but also sick.

MORE Likes;

Adam loves to read the newspaper. Because he has been everywhere, he is up on worldly events. So he owns quite a few, and they kinda build up--he does not like throwing them away. Even though his assistants give him shit since he could just learn these things on the internet and bookmark them.

Piano -- Still loves to play. Occasionally he plays his violin, but not has kept up with it as much as his piano playing. There is just something about the comfort of pressing his fingers down on smooth, cool ivory.

Classic 1940s Jazz

Record player/phonograph!!

Dancing and classy Jazz lounges where he can just drink whiskey/scotch on the rocks and enjoy--despite... Himself.

The radio is the best thing! [hug music and podcast listener]

SLIDES ARE THE SHIT

Loves coffee, it overtook his affinity for tea.

MORE Dislikes;

Denim. Wearing it, that is. It looks good on other people, but for him he does not feel attractive or comfortable in it very much. Which he probably is gorgeous in jeans, with his nice butt-- but if he can, he would rather wear the dress pants. Dockers.

Television. [a well- up to date one], kinda gave up on technology when film came out. He will go to movie, but after the radio came out that is where he keeps himself up to date. And Newspaper, why need TV?

Computers--  he owns laptops [credit to his assistants], but does not use them. His phone is a gateway to the internet, but he never uses that option either. Unless he HAS to. Like GPS or anything relating to his stocks, and his company.

PERSONALITY;

 Adam  always tries to remain fairly upbeat.  For himself. For his business. He has to be this way! He owns a lot and is a great influence! Hell!! Forbes attempts to contact him to be listed as a top successful, young exec. which is completely untrue. He is the oldest. He must act like he has little conscientious, little anxiety, high self-esteem, high individuality, competitiveness-- he MUST display himself as being the Dark Triad type--mostly altruistic [ unless you catch his eye], extraverted[which is EXHAUSTING because he is not] and practically MANIC. Adam basically exploits himself--and the curse helps in this.

And --There is a darkness about this TRUE personality, of course. As the curse--the alter the BEAST is a complete psychopath. Adam sometimes feels himself phasing into his Alter personality, making true his ‘business’ type of façade. Slowly day after day, he feels his real self drifting into this ugly person-- he might as well become a Beast AGAIN. Which is not surprising considering all the years he has gone on like this.

Having lived so long, with such loneliness, he has had such a sad life thus far. As an aristocrat prince; things were tough. He was haunted-- jilted... But not like this. For he feels a jilt within himself. Not belonging to the century like he should, and he knows it. He should have passed on like everyone else. And feels this somewhat purgatory--type feeling where there is no up or down.. No direction. Going forward means moving on, but he cannot simply move on. Seeing as he has tried for 200 years. But this part of Adam is usually kept to himself. When one is close enough, there is an obvious sense of Adam having been jaded. For so long-- he feels almost nothing anymore.

No sadness, no pain-- no happiness.. simply nothing. The glass if not half full, not half empty-- the glass is simply not even there! It is like being a shell, with a small essence of him there. So RPING with a modern Adam is probably going to be quite depressing for a person. Even if he is smooth, even if he is suave and has mature tastes-- in him there is a numbness that cannot really be removed. Not unless you have heroin, not unless you can make him feel something-- He might as well pretend to be James Bond, his fake personality does the job right-- though, deep down. Adam just wants to go home to his family. He misses his loved ones. Which makes this character; like I said-- unbelievably heart breaking.

Of course when he IS happy in this time-- he is genuine upbeat, genuinely suave-- and extremely generous with protectiveness of whomever is helping achieve these genuine feelings. Without the heroin.

CURSE;

Going off personality, it would be important to sort-of explain what is going on with Adam and his curse.

IN A NUTSHELL IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY BACKSTORY [[WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR MAKING SENSE OF ANY OF THIS  NEXT LITTLE BIT]]:;;; Having manifested IT AS a young child BEFORE he had become THE OFFICIAL  Beast, THERE WAS ALWAYS this other personality, this possessive entity--BECAUSE OF WHAT ADAM WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD HE DEVELOPED THIS OTHER PERSONALITY AS A MEANS TO COPE AND FIND SOLACE AND CONSOLATION. AN IMAGINARY FRIEND BUT IT WAS MORE THEN THAT. IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONALITY A THING--  it HAD grown!! and completely gone out of control. Sipping off the agony and negative energies Adam gave off day after day, it became stronger, however it remain trapped. Unable to really control the prince-- As a beast FOR 10 YEARS it was able to INFLUENCE  him, but the presence of Belle within Adam had overridden any of those negative feelings... After the spell from the enchantress broke and Adam’s death between that time and returning to his human form, it ALL activated this other personality MORE SO. Enabling it to become more of a split entity. Jealous of Belle’s control on him. And when he passed away again, but more officially without magic, the SECOND TIME-- he had made a deal with this personality, this demon/fallen angel that had clung to him as a child to return to him his life in return for a portion of himself. His soul-- so he could rescue someone he loves. BUT IT WOULD NOT BE SO PRETTY. And after doing so, lost everything including the very person he sold himself for.  Over the years this thing has fed off Adam more and more-- his agony, his suffering-- it keeps him alive and well, it keeps his body from breaking down [aka aging to a point and then he stops]-- his metabolism and muscle content are in primal shape. He can become ill, it is rare-- but he can... He can have flesh wounds. But any mortally damaging situation will always transform [ INTO THE BEAST] the prince and return to him his health and life he was in process of losing. SO after the years of living this way, with this

ALTER/BEAST/DEMON/DARKNESS [Adam has many names for it] it has almost managed to phase into Adam’s original personality-- at times. Adam might lose control--sometimes black out, sometimes awake, and this thing will become a part of him as human, awake and a live and he cannot control it. As it plays him as a Beast-- Adam will chain himself to a wall, in a space he has created for this Alter’s episodes. But at times when he is most negative, most tired-- Adam cannot fight this thing wanting to come to life. It can take over. Does not matter how long. It is still much the same as before, only it has become more sophisticated. It displays the traits of  a psychopath, a narcissist, ruled by machiavelliansim--altruistic, less agreeable, neurotic, and conscientious. All the types of Adam’s ‘fake façade’ he plays in front of his coworkers and partner exec.s Except with a little twist. It likes to go out at night, when Adam is most vulnerable-- it likes to take the blood AND THE FLESH  of another and drink & EAT, for when this thing does it feels as close to a human as it can be. AND IT KNOWS that if ADAM KNOWS, Adam’s sel loathing will only make it’s power grow.

Sometimes this personality/demon will come into control within Adam for MONTHS at a time. That is what’s most frightening.

Adam will sometimes wake up having blood all over himself. Only finding that none of it is his own. Shaking. Vomiting-- disgusted with himself, with the smell and taste.

This is most damaging to the old prince-- for he leads such a glamorous lifestyle, and yet he has such a jekyll&Hyde living inside him. A beast, unchanging-- always wanting to get out.

This is probably another reason why Adam goes manic, and gets himself involved in heroin. For if he drugs himself hard enough, he might wake up drooling-- and looking like a fool, but he will wake up with just drool. And that is all. Everyone besides himself remains SAFE.

[this will probably be polished and edited-- and added on to later]

Car; Aventador [AKA Lamborghini]  

Classic rally in black, scissor doors-- probably the most noticeable thing on the strip. Adam would not try to make a getaway in this-- even though he could, it is too easy to spot. We will just use UBER for chases.

Living;

Adam lives in a condo/penthouse in a 27 floor dark gray building, highly secure. Adam holds the top two floors, a penthouse that has high ceilings and a spiral staircase. With large windows. The style is this sort of 18th century contemporary--

THE WEST ROOM [see what i did there?? West wing]-- no one is allowed to go in here, because it looks like it might be a s copy to Christian Grey-- only instead of a play room, it is a chain, and heroin room, full of scratches and blood stains--All the horrible things.

Furnished to the NINES with antique 18th century furniture.  

Almost a tad gaudy-- and his decorator will give him shit too [yes he has a decorator!]  Of course this keeps getting more depressing--

having a his and hers  his/his her/her any/any?? THE POINT he has a double bathroom to NOT share with anyone. B’((((((    my child suffers

And you get the main idea! Adam holds on to some furniture, some books, some original paintings-- etc.

HEALTH;

Because of Adam’s heroin addiction. Here are some things that go with his behavior.

| | ----| | PHYSICAL THINGS FROM THE H | |---- | |

Shortness of breath, Dry mouth, Constricted (small) pupils

Needle track marks visible on arms

Cycles of hyper alertness followed by suddenly nodding off, Droopy appearance, as if extremities are heavy

Substantial increases in time spent sleeping, Increase in slurred, garbled or incoherent speech

Wearing long pants or long sleeves to hide needle marks, even in very warm weather

Disorientation

Depressed respiration (shallow breathing)

Clouded mental functioning, Decreased pain from either physical conditions or emotional challenges

Chronic pneumonia for Adam he has this is on and off

Seizures

Adam does not share his needles with anyone. He does not get disease or much infections because of his curse. But he has seizures time to time, especially if he has been in withdrawal for too long-- which will probably more than likely cause him to transform into the Beast anyway.

| | ----| |  BEHAVIORAL THINGS  FROM THE H | |---- | |

Lying or other deceptive behavior

Avoiding eye contact, or distant field of vision,

Withdrawal from friends and family, instead spending time with new friends with no natural tie, Lack of interest in hobbies and favorite activities,

Hostile behaviors toward loved ones, including blaming them for withdrawal or broken commitments

Uncontrollable feelings of itching that result in compulsive scratching or picking at skin (itchy blood)

Regular comments indicating a decline in self esteem or worsening body image

Some of these are well hidden. Adam DOES keep some interest in certain activities, but they are not as grand as they could be if he were not addicted.

MENTAL HEALTH

Adam exhibits swings in his moods at times , mostly effected by the drugs he uses. However, on the outside- he might appear to have subclinical dissociative personality disorder.

He suffers anxiety

PTSD

a lot of coping for depression

SPEECH; [[coming]]

LOVE LIFE; AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHA!!!!!!

MILITIA; [[coming]]

[[anything else I must add that I may have forgotten for this-- i will place on the page!]]

ALL in all Adam is a giant ass gary stu who hates himself.

The end!

[princebxte-blog]

Awkward Matthew

requested by @bellestrashprince

#-visage of antiquity romanticism and truth—aesthetic

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Can you manage without your stick? You are my stick.

#In countenance the prince—faceclaim

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She stands out… Even amongst the outstanding.

Bruce Adler

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your soul is fire, my soul was ice. i thought i’d freeze you, but you’ve left me melted, inside out.

Ana (via wnq-writers)

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Frozen Fountains via ckylptyrasculpture

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Send me a ▲ for an unpopular opinion

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With hurricane hair and molten lips Two eyes of the storm gaze deeply into mine You quake but I don’t flinch Surround me consume me My most beautiful disaster.

domfnd (via wnq-writers)

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                              SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL GIRL GANG !

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         *these are the lovely disney muses who wanted to be a part of this promo action

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#{visage of *antiquity; romanticism&truth—