puddingparamour

[puddingparamour]

i feel like most of the lucy gray fandom doesn't realize how BAD rose petals taste. like arugula's slimier cousin. smells amazing tastes like disappointment.

"she must have been extremely hungry-"

yes. however she was eating that entirely for the bit

[puddingparamour]

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire

[puddingparamour]

So, I'm playing the new map on Medieval Dynasty as a woman (because they finally decided to let you play as a woman), and I was curious how the pregnancy dynamic was going to work because historically, in the game, when your wife gets pregnant, she goes on an 18-year maternity leave until your kid is grown, and I was like, well I'm the main character, so what's going to happen?

Am I just not going to be able to work or complete quests while I run around after my kiddo? Surely not. That'd be ludicrous. I wonder how they'll handle this...

Well, they handled it. They handled it by making my husband pregnant.

My beloved lumberjack husband, Teodoryk, is with child and very happy about it.

This game went from "you can't play as a woman because it's historically inaccurate" to "we're not going to fix the ridiculous game dynamic of an 18-year maternity leave, but we will make it so you can get your husband pregnant instead."

Incredible. Fully headcanoning this as a t4t marriage in 11th century Poland. I can't wait to meet our beautiful child. I will, however, be hiring a new lumberjack because I am not cutting down trees for the next 18 years. Fuck that. I've got wolves to fist-fight in the woods.

[puddingparamour]

Sibling asked how ppl in star wars dance to jizz music and I had to give her an example

[puddingparamour]

[puddingparamour]

me: oh my sauce is missing sometjing. help

garlic:

[puddingparamour]

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[puddingparamour]

I slapped these two together when the comfort characters meme went around on Twitter :3c

[puddingparamour]

did I ever tell yall I used to think charlie chaplin was a drag king. for like three years straight

[puddingparamour]

[puddingparamour]

🦚 Diwali Rangoli Design 🦚 innovative Diwali girl special rangoli designs Jyoti Rathod beautifulrangoli || relaxingvideo || Satisfyingvideo || festivals rangoli (via Instagram: Rangoli by Jyoti Rathod)

[puddingparamour]

what else does this fish suggest

[puddingparamour]

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

[puddingparamour]

This has happened to me a few times and I never know what to make of it

[puddingparamour]

truly possessed with envy any time i drive by someone sitting on their porch with a beverage

[puddingparamour]

For a while in my life I legitimately considered moving to Germany. There’s multiple reasons I inevitably ended up staying in the US but one of the big ones was that one time when I was in Germany and wanted some salsa the closest thing I could find was basically just tomato sauce.

[puddingparamour]