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lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

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what a cute impostor

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I REMEMBER THIS

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i learned that unfrosted Pop Tarts have more calories and fat than frosted Pop Tarts. The unfrosted ones have a slightly thicker crust to make up for the lack of frosting (x)

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Roll a d20. That is the enemy DC for this turn of combat. Roll again for the next round.

aww but that rules out tarrasques

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Even if any device you own is waterproof, you are still not brave enough to test it.

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The mighty bear king, waiting for someone to break his curse (or maybe he just enjoys being a bear, who knows)✨

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last night had a dream an image was going viral and it was basically this

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Context: My character aquired a cursed rock with googly eyes, it made them feel judged and gave them a -2 on any roll

DM: what do you guys want to do during the rest?

Me: I... I need to make it better with this rock. I need to fix whatever I did wrong.

DM: *laughs* how do you plan on doing that?

Me: I made it a name tag! It's name is Theodore. And I got a little mesh bag for him to ride around in...

DM:... Y'know what, roll persuasion

And that's how I un-cursed an item out of stubbornness

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You’re a henchman for the BBEG. Your quest is to get a raise so you can afford that new game that’s coming out.