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Pour one out for a real one.

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hits you with a wicked palm strike that disrupts your swag

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まっこいさんはTwitterを使っています: 「一瞬初音ミクに見えたな https://t.co/WLn2bGt3ad」 / Twitter

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the changes I've been noticing in food on top of inflation...the worsening of textures...smaller packaging...the loss of flavor as companies reformulate with cheaper ingredients for the sake of profit

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eleventh plague. emails. 

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As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

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I'm begging other trans people to read an ounce of Black Feminist or Decolonialist Feminist writing. I'm on my hands and knees and begging you. I promise you, I promise you, there is so much more to Feminist theory than anything you have picked up from White/Radical/Pop/Liberal Feminism I promise you. Read There Is No Hierarchy Of Oppressions By Audre Lorde. I have a link to the PDF right here you can read it for free. Take my hand I can't do this alone (thanks glass beach). Peace And Love On Planet Earth.

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clark reupload

edit: forgot the sweater comic

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hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

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I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

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here's a quick tip for life: if you hate someone and you have a choice in the matter, keep their name out of your mouth and the reasons you hate them out of your head. keep your head on a swivel around people who habitually break this guideline because they're just as capable of obsessive negativity about you

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you. american adult with a drivers license. can you tell me who has the right of way at a 4 way stop

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the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

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Imagine you’re friends with someone who hosts a really popular internet game show, and he invites you on a couple of times and you gain a reputation for winning that gameshow. Then, he sets up a show where the whole point of it is that you cannot win the game, just to break your streak of the whole thing. Your trust breaks just a little bit.

Next time, he asks you to put on a mic pack for another episode of the game show, turns out it’s a heart rate monitor for another episode where you have to sit there and be almost tortured as you attempt to keep yourself calm. Your trust is devolving.

Next time, you come on the show, he tells you to go and wait in the green room and locks you in there, he’s a recording on the screen because he’s locked in the bathroom, he’s been there the whole time, you’re forced to do an escape room to go to work. You don’t know if you can trust him anymore.

Next time, you go on the show, you play bingo, you don’t trust him, something’s wrong, he’s been manipulating players to manipulate players into manipulating players. There was no way for you to win this one, not really.

You are a mouse trapped in a maze

You are a performing monkey at the circus

You are the most popular person on TikTok despite not having a tiktok

You are Brennan Lee Mulligan and this is your life. Sam is your boss, your chief scientist and ringmaster. You will never escape.

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Oh that face is Brennan realizing how predictable he is. That card got created in an hour with no notice.

Congrats Mike Trapp you may have also gotten played but truly you won.