r0ryy

[r0ryy]

(Nsfw) This girl I used to mess around with was super rich, and when we hooked up I would blindfold her for kink reasons and also so I could steal fancy booze from her parents liquor cabinet. I stopped cuz I felt bad but then her mom said that people who couldn’t afford to buy teslas were fucking the planet up so I slid in her dms to see if I could start up again

STOP THATS SO FUNNY

[r0ryy]

public libraries are so sick. there are five books I want to read and they're all relatively new so they're only available in hardback which is so expensive but it just cost me $0 to place holds on them. five books for zero dollars. it requires nothing but clicking a button and then going to the library to pick them up when they're ready. zero dollars. that's crazy

[r0ryy]

[r0ryy]

HELLO ?

[r0ryy]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[r0ryy]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

#good for her

[r0ryy]

Nothing more awesome than seeing a trans woman with big boobs like hell yes you did it!

[r0ryy]

OCTOPUS YAOI???

[r0ryy]

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

[r0ryy]

#arIA JOIE

[r0ryy]

GLaDOS: I spent some time researching common human insecurities so I might better insult you. I've discovered that physical insecurities often manifest due to feelings of envy stemming from comparing oneself to others.

GLaDOS: There are no other humans in this facility. Just you. Therefore, you lack a source of envy of which would trigger the feelings of insecurity in your tiny simple human brain.

GLaDOS: A shame, isn't it? I thought so too. Which is why I've taken it upon myself to artificially create a humanoid body for myself so that you'll have someone to envy. A female figure who is taller than you, more mature than you and has larger breasts than you. Gaze upon my new form of perfection and shrink away in your envy. You'll never achieve this level of perfectio- why are you smiling at me like that. Stop it.

[r0ryy]

[r0ryy]

artists on tumblr stop fukcing lying to yourselves you never draw those sticks and circles when you sketch stuff out you just die and you know it

#neutral good

[r0ryy]

kalvin brnine and their divines… who will they catch next

[r0ryy]

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

#kalvin brnine ass post

[r0ryy]

[r0ryy]

Apparently dating back to 2015, the almost 10 year old shitpost generator does show its age, but all the more it beautifully captures the tone and style of tumblr shitposts of the era. It's not dated, as much as it is a historical artefact.