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Oh god, why didn’t you just let him through?

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Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

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PSA to make sure that you're always feeding your bird an appropriate and nutritious diet, even if that means rethinking their current one!

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every single day I think about how american black vultures are known for engaging in interspecific allopreening (preening between different species)

and they have a specific relationship with crested caracaras, in which the black vultures assist them by not only preening them after meals but also leading them to food in the first place— due to their superior sense of smell— while the caracaras assist the black vultures by acting as a warning signal in case of danger

and while this is more typical of black vultures, this is not common at all for any member of the falconidae family— it’s a special bond!

yet another post in favor of vultures everyone , hope you enjoy:) and I implore you to do some more research on these incredible birds !!

EDIT: I meant interspecific allopreening! excuse my typo!

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“The idea is that Cassandra would have collected bits of old armor to create her own custom hodgepodge! Being a woman, there wouldn't have been armor just made for her, anyway. Side by side with her "in court" outfit”

Concept art by Brigette Barrager

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cassandra couldve saved rapunzel from the tower but eugene could NOT have sung waiting in the wings

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ummm here’s mr goober making silly faces. if you care

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It’s always sad when there is a positivity post on Instagram or tumblr that says something along the lines of “it’s okay to not shave as a woman!” And a good 99% of the replies or comments are just saying “and it’s also okay to shave :) / I love the feeling of my legs being hairless!” Etc etc

Like that’s great! Literally not at all what was being said oh my goodness 😭😭

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i think makeup can be artistic expression i also think sometimes people are lying about it being about artistic expression and would in fact be a lot happier if they had never been told they had to wear it

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Quiet Quitting is when you're not doing anything wrong but the vibes are off

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Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.