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I like how everybody is paired off haha

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wow, hope this piece of shit dies

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[me internally while someones talkin to me] wow they Really Think i kno wats goin on rn…

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it’s such a …tease

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what a great way to start the summer

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alright but what if every single one of the harry potter main characters eventually have a kid that they name “Fred” without knowing anyone else also did this (so now there’s fred potter, fred weasley, fred longbottom, etc) except they’re friends so all their kids are friends and as soon as one of them gets in trouble someone’s yelling “FRED” and 3-6 kids are turning around going “WHAT DID I DO” and I think that’s exactly the kind of chaotic legacy Fred would’ve liked to leave

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You wake up from an one night stand with Sharon that you met from tinder. She’s classy and amazing, and said that she was going to make you breakfast. You get dressed and walk out to the dining table, and Jonah hill is sitting there with a cup of orange juice.

What do you do

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“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now is the fucking time!” – Kill Bill (2003) dir. Quentin Tarantino

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Filling out course evaluations for classes you did shitty in

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