randomfandombullshit

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no no no you don't get it. it's the look of LOVE. the RUSH of BLOOD. the SHE'S WITH ME. THE GALLIC SHRUG???

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you’re gonna go to the hardware store. you’re gonna get some joint compound. you’re gonna get some caulk, and you’re gonna caulk that shit. [okay, well uh, fyi] “fyi”? [i’m not your fuckin gopher] fiy FIY YOU COCKED IT UP YOU’RE GONNA CAULK IT OUT [okay well i would love to but uh my license is expired, EFF. yi] (you drove in this morniiiinnggg…..) sydney. you wanna help, you can take him [NAH. time out, i’ll uber, thank you] (grow uppp) [thank you] SURGE RATES, FUCKO.

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“We’re looking forward to joining our friends @/blossomsband for Blossoms’ Big Band Holiday Weekend at Wythenshawe Park, Manchester on Sunday 25th August 2024. Get your tickets before they sell out from the link in our bio”

via inhalerdublin IG

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I would commit too many horrendous crimes for too many men how have I not been studied yet

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Ryan via IG story!

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Sucks that “sleeping together” refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

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Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

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“My dad with his pet crow in the 1970s.”

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if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

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When I read a fanfic I like, the author becomes a mini celebrity to me. So when an author with a work I like kudos’ or comments on my own fanfic I just-

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Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

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ALEX NOT KNOWING INHALER HAD BEEN WITH THEM THE WHOLE TOUR ...OH BESTIE...BABY...NO...

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HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY BOBBY!!! 🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉

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All the feminism leaving my body when I start planning a hardcore glow up during an overly motivated moment at 3 am for the concert I‘m about to attend in like half a year (Just in case I‘m gonna have my desired Y/N moment)