my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left
215K notes
·
View notes
Reminder that Scott Adams is the worst person.
17K notes
·
View notes
2K notes
·
View notes
when the person you hate yells out the wrong answer in class.
662K notes
·
View notes
25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????
213K notes
·
View notes
i hope this doesn’t sound really weird but i feel really bad for the lady who came up with gender reveal parties. she had a very legitimate reason for throwing herself one–she’d had a few miscarriages, all of them miscarrying before she was able to find out the sex of her baby and due to really wanting to have children she was distraught, so when her pregnancy made it to the milestone of being able to find out her baby’s sex, she was understandably incredibly excited and threw a party to celebrate it. honestly she had every right to do so and was more celebrating the fact that she’d carried her baby to that point rather than celebrating if it was a girl or a boy
and now she’s the inventor of this horrible thing that makes stupid people cause wildfires. all this lady wanted to do was have some cake and celebrate her pregnancy after a few miscarriages. i feel fucking terrible for her.
103K notes
·
View notes
A really bad action movie is often funnier than a really bad comedy
955 notes
·
View notes
123K notes
·
View notes
A witch is considered as a evil person,but a wizard is considered as a wise and good person.
11K notes
·
View notes
84K notes
·
View notes
I can’t stop watching it.
146K notes
·
View notes
784K notes
·
View notes
14K notes
·
View notes