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my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

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Reminder that Scott Adams is the worst person.

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when the person you hate yells out the wrong answer in class.

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25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

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i hope this doesn’t sound really weird but i feel really bad for the lady who came up with gender reveal parties. she had a very legitimate reason for throwing herself one–she’d had a few miscarriages, all of them miscarrying before she was able to find out the sex of her baby and due to really wanting to have children she was distraught, so when her pregnancy made it to the milestone of being able to find out her baby’s sex, she was understandably incredibly excited and threw a party to celebrate it. honestly she had every right to do so and was more celebrating the fact that she’d carried her baby to that point rather than celebrating if it was a girl or a boy

and now she’s the inventor of this horrible thing that makes stupid people cause wildfires. all this lady wanted to do was have some cake and celebrate her pregnancy after a few miscarriages. i feel fucking terrible for her. 

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US Open 2020: Naomi Osaka’s important way to the Title

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A really bad action movie is often funnier than a really bad comedy

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A witch is considered as a evil person,but a wizard is considered as a wise and good person.

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here’s some fun black history for you guys!

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When we posted the alternate ending for The Giving Tree a couple of weeks ago, it roused a lot of strong opinions for or against the rewrite. People either LOVED it or HATED it.

So… here’s another alternate ending (also by Topher Payne) to a much-debated children’s book, The Rainbow Fish.

What do we think of this one?

…

Just read The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister as usual, right up to the visit to the octopus. Then, make the switch and read this as an alternative to everything that follows.

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I can’t stop watching it.

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