rareslikespastelpink

[rareslikespastelpink]

Also this right here. I plan to really get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is temporary, the reward at the end of just dealing with it will be worth it.

[rareslikespastelpink]

.

Welp I'm in the broke ho's club at the moment. It is what it is, rent and other stuff ate it up. I did get stressed over it, but it is what it is. Struggling is apart of life, financially struggling is apart of life as well. Atleast I have a roof over my head, that's what matters most.

So to curb my spending habits I uninstalled instagram, tiktok and all of the food apps on my phone. Facebook can stay since I don't really use it anyways. No going on social media for awhile, cause I'm just constantly comparing myself to others at the moment, it's what I'm going to want to do.

While I did write the achievements journal, my brain is now saying my achievements aren't shit compared to everyone elses'. I know this isn't true so I'm just going to acknowledge it so it can go away and keep moving. If I have to cry over it then I cry. Whatever helps.

I can always just reach out to people and that's what facebook will strictly be for, nothing else.

I have so many crappy thoughts floating in my head. But I'm just going to push through them and make things happen. Gonna go get my A+ it says I need that to take the systems admin cert. Per advice from a friend I'll just do the cert first and then college after I get a job in that field. I think it'll be hard to find a job in it, but I'mma try.

Bleh I won't be able to really do any fun stuff this year. No traveling, nothing. The only thing I will be able to do is go out to eat or the movies. That's fine and it's fun. It will get repetitive though and so I'll just switch things up. I just don't want to struggle anymore.

So whenever I do go on a first date I'll make sure I have money set aside for it so I can pay for myself. So first dates are off the table as well, granted I haven't put myself out there or tried anyways. I'm still a little scared, nothing too bad. Being scared of these things is normal though.

But I can still persue someone while being broke. Fair enough, I'm going to actively start working on not being broke. For the time being just get started on the cert and then go attempt dating.

Oh and for food it doesn't even have to be a fancy expensive place. I can't fit into alot of my nice clothes at the moment anyways. Can be something casual. And honestly I don't want anyone to spend alot of money on me anyways.

But yeah as much as I feel like crying, I'll be okay. This is temporary and I'm going to do everything I can even if there's obstacles. I just want to take care of my cat and myself financially. She's getting older and I want to ensure she's able to get her yearly checkups or that I can take her to the vet and afford the bill for when she gets sick.

So lets do this. Lets get a move on and make things happen. Just stay away from social media for awhile, I love scrolling on instagram. Q.Q but I just need to stay away til my spending habits calm down.

Besides I want to add more achievements to my journal so I'll use that as a driving force.

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

.

Also this is the second time she's cancelled my overtime to prioritize her favorite people getting it. So yeah this is my last time for awhile.

I just thought about it and it's not like I don't work as hard as her favorites either. But I like to think this is the behavior of someone who peaked in highschool. I will vent to my therapist tomorrow.

But other than that eh. I'm gonna be okay, remember this is out of my control and people like her will get back what they put out. I want to stop thinking about this so I'm gonna go distract myself.

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

theofficialsadghostclub

[rareslikespastelpink]

.

Speaking of I feel so much better that my anxiety is pretty much none existant, so is the paranoia. I have decided that going forward I'm gonna wear my hair out, I don't care about the bald spot. It either grows back or it doesn't and if I have to shave my head completely then I have to do it. I'll be okay.

I'm more than just my hair. Life is waaay to short to worry about this anymore, but I will continue to getting the shots in my head.

I won't wear it out at work because I hate the box dust getting into my hair and it's a pain to re-fluff it after I put my hood on to hide that I have an ear bud in my ear.

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

Reason to Live #10264

  Comfy cozy days. – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

[rareslikespastelpink]

Reason to Live #10269

 Reruns of shows you used to love watching.  – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

[rareslikespastelpink]

[rareslikespastelpink]

sketchbook_jpeg

[rareslikespastelpink]

Lily in The Human Vase of Flower

[rareslikespastelpink]

Red Moon 🌙 gifs made by me :)

[rareslikespastelpink]

The trees remind me of when they first end up in Gran pulse in ff13. So pretty. It looks like the crystals from there, especially when they turn to crystal after completing their focus.

It looks like crap quality. Bleh oh well. It looks nice in my camera.