raygeorgedias

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Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

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I close my eyes and I see the stars. I can't help but wonder, death must be the eternal night.

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“From the River to the Sea.” A Poem by Samer Abu Hawwash, translated by Huda Fakhreddine

every street, every house, every room, every window, every balcony, every wall, every stone, every sorrow, every word, every letter, every whisper, every touch, every glance, every kiss, every tree, every spear of grass, every tear, every scream, every air, every hope, every supplication, every secret, every well, every prayer, every song, every ballad, every book, every paper, every color, every ray, every cloud, every rain, every drop of rain, every drip of sweat, every lisp, every stutter, every yamma, mother, every yaba, father, every shadow, every light, every little hand that drew in a little notebook a tree or house or heart or a family of a father, a mother, siblings, and pets, every longing, every possibility, every letter between two lovers that arrived or didn’t arrive, every gasp of love dispersed in the distant clouds, every moment of despair at every turn, every suitcase on top of

every closet, every library, every shelf, every minaret, every rug, every bell toll in every church, every rosary, every holy praise, every arrival, every goodbye, every Good Morning, every Thank God, every ‘ala rasi, my pleasure, every hill ‘an sama’i, leave me alone, every rock, every wave, every grain of sand, every hair-do, every mirror, every glance in every mirror, every cat, every meow, every happy donkey, every sad donkey’s gaze, every pot, every vapor rising from every pot, every scent, every bowl, every school queue, every school shoes, every ring of the bell, every blackboard, every piece of chalk, every school costume, every mabruk ma ijakum, congratulations on the baby, every y ‘awid bi-salamtak, condolences, every ‘ayn al- ḥasud tibla bil-‘ama, may the envious be blinded, every photograph, every person in every photograph, every niyyalak, how lucky, every ishta’nalak, we’ve missed you, every grain of wheat in every bird’s gullet, every lock of hair, every hair knot, every hand, every foot, every football, every finger, every nail, every bicycle, every rider on every bicycle, every turn of air fanning from every bicycle, every bad joke, every mean joke, every laugh, every smile, every curse, every yearning, every fight, every sitti, grandma, every

sidi, grandpa, every meadow, every flower, every tree, every grove, every olive, every orange, every plastic rose covered with dust on an abandoned counter, every portrait of a martyr hanging on a wall since forever, every gravestone, every sura, every verse, every hymn, every ḥajj mabrur wa sa ‘yy mashkur, may your ḥajj and effort be rewarded, every yalla tnam yalla tnam, every lullaby, every red teddy bear on every Valentine’s, every clothesline, every hot skirt, every joyful dress, every torn trousers, every days-spun sweater, every button, every nail, every song, every ballad, every mirror, every peg, every bench, every shelf, every dream, every illusion, every hope, every disappointment, every hand holding another hand, every hand alone, every scattered thought, every beautiful thought, every terrifying thought, every whisper, every touch, every street, every house, every room, every balcony, every eye, every tear, every word, every letter, every name, every voice, every name, every house, every name, every face, every name, every cloud, every name, every rose, every name, every spear of grass, every name, every wave, every grain of sand, every street, every kiss, every image, every eye, every tear, every yamma, every yaba, every name, every name, every name, every name, every name, every name, every name, every name, all…

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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’

[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]

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V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

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ISHIMURA Masayuki（石村 雅幸 Japanese, b.1965）

精魄    Japanese painting   via

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Jeanette Winterson, from The Stone Gods

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Rene Magritte: The Glass Key (1959)

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Traci Brimhall, from “Contender,” in Come the Slumberless to the Land of Nod [ID in alt text]

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lullaby on mount moriah by Traci Brimhall

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"Close your eyes", Paruyr Sevak (translated by metamorphesque)

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Hanif Abdurraqib, They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us

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"The kiss that ate my flesh." - James Wright, Saint Judas

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Anon who asked about the suicides here. Unfortunately I'll need the specific locations/texts (of at least two, I think). It's not that I don't believe in you!! I'm just trying to show it to someone

of course-

king saul kills himself via the sword in 1 sam 31. i have posted often about how god sees this death and never gets over it, and that is at least partly why he later incarnates as a non-roman (roman citizens would die by the sword: i think god feared dying as saul did)

sign-acts as self harm: see ezekiel's self-harm sign-acts: isolation in ezek 3:31; immobilization ezek 4:4-8; eating over excrement ezek 4:9; see also jeremiah's self-harm sign-acts: exposure to elements jer 13; auto-yoking in jer 27

elijah praying to die: 1 kngs 19:4; knowing elisha will also end up praying to die: ibid v. 20 ("what have i done to you!?")

tobit praying to die: tobit 3 (sarah also has a prayer for death here)

moses praying to die: numb 11:13

jonah prays to die and then attempts suicide via the elements: jonah 4

psalmist 88 also prays to die and, in fact, enacts a semiotic death (writing from the grave). this is one of two psalms that does not end in resolution with god

samuel asking to be put to rest after already dying: 1 sam 28

many close to god also express, without intention to enact and without real plea, their wanting-to-die: see job (all of it), jeremiah (jer 20), and rebekah (gen 27:46)

there are many more than what my post listed. almost every prophetic sign act is self-harm. and, in the second testament, you have (very famously) the apostle paul saying he struggles with suicidal ideation, as well as the suicide of judas, which lacks any affective response precisely because none suffice. keep in mind that in the ancient world, self harm and auto-death looked like, and meant, very different things than they do today. keep also in mind that in each pericope here, god shares in the wanting-to-die, never answering the plea or condoning or condemning, but holding gently unto the pain

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islam is on levels of gender that would make your brain explode

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Trista Mateer, from The Dogs I Have Kissed